Jokes On Me

Authors Note: This was a request by the most adorable midorleef of live journal. I don't know why people have to do this when it's obvious, but I own none of the characters; I've never said that before, but I just felt like saying that. If you love Matsuri, I'm sorry for your luck.

Matsuri jumped from one Suna dome to the next; tonight, she had the resolve! For years now, she had been jumping around the fantasy of finally admitting her feelings to Gaara instead of just giving subtle hints and hoping he would catch on. Now, she was going to get serious! She had a kinky little night gown under the long coat she was wearing to beat off the nights chill. She couldn't lose!

She had finally come to the decision that now would be the best time for plan C; Gaara had been kind of… happy. Any one else but herself never would have caught on, but she had noticed it as if a desert storm had occurred. She didn't bother to think of what could have made this occur, she just smiled with glee at her luck. If Gaara had been happy before, she bet she could get him to smile by morning.

She arrived at his window of the Kazekage's quarters; a fiery blush seemed to color her entire body at what she was about to so blatantly do and-

A frown descended upon her once joyful features, a cold dread crawled down her spine and left a shiver at the base of her neck. What was that sound? For a moment, Matsuri stopped breathing in order to better hear it, hoping, but also hoping against it playing again. Then, unmistakably, a moan broke out of Gaara's room, sounding so loud to Matsuri that her heart seemed to not be beating at all, despite the fact that she could feel it's fast tempo against her chest. Her face lost nearly all of that red hue and took on a shade similar to snow. NO, she had to be hearing wrong! Maybe...maybe Gaara was having a wet dream! This would be even a better chance than before if that were so!

But it wasn't his voice that was moaning. Against her will, she moved closer, peeking through the slightly opened balcony doors into the darkness within. Her eyes focused on the bed, she saw what had to be the most horrifying thing ever. What was even worse than what she saw? She didn't seem able to stop watching. 'Please, please don't let this be true. Please, Gaara, let this just be a bad nightmare, let me be sleeping on my bed at home. I have to wake up screaming at one point. Please, please...please...' It was a mantra in her head that she knew not one greater being of the world could grant true.

"Ah! AAAAHH! Gaara, please more, I nee -gasp- I need...-panting- mooore, oh Gaara! Gaara, please!"

Matsuri watched as the dark-haired jounin writhed under her only love with such abandon. His eyes were screwed shut and his upper body was lifted clear off of the tangled sheets. Both of his muscled, scarred legs were wrapped tightly around Gaara's hips, shoving himself up while she watched Gaara push forward with just as much power.

Inside herself, Matsuri felt herself die. Gaara was supposed to love her; she had worked so hard for his love. Why did he win her only love? Gaara had once hated him so much, he tried to kill him...twice! Why was he in that...that...that FREAK?! She was so much better than him! She could..she could bend chakra to her will! That was something he couldn't do. So why wasn't it her beneath Gaara, screaming for more?

" you feel this? Lee, baby...tell me you're feeling this too." She watched with furiously stinging eyes as Gaara bent himself forward to practically swallow the traitor's lips, and she watched with dying pride as said traitor returned the kiss.

Only seconds later, they were forced to break apart so that they could breathe. Their movements became erratic and Matsuri knew it wouldn't be long now. She may never had done this kind of thing before, but she had read about it so often...but she wasn't supposed to learn from books! Gaara was supposed to teach her!

"G-Gaara, please!-sob-why won't you...-sob- end this! Gaa-aaara, I will die!"

She hated that konoha-nin so much. Just yesterday, she had let him hug her; what were the chances that he had just made love with Gaara before touching her? She watched as Gaara's beautiful blue-green eyes watched the darker man with such predatory hunger, she actually shivered, despite it not being meant for herself. She would give anything if only she could get Gaara to look at her like that.

"Then end it, Lee. You know how," Matsuri hated how happy she was that the cheating bastard chose that moment to sob again, because she sobbed too. Gaara nipped so hard at his collarbone, a dot of blood welled up and the freak surged up with it, a scream escaping his lungs as he clung to her love. What is going to end? Oh gods, why wasn't it over yet? Why couldn't she look away? "Say it, Lee,...or this...does not end till we are...dead, oh gods," Matsuri flinched as Gaara gave an almost forceful shove forward again, his eyes practically rolling into the back of his head.

Lee cried out and Matsuri wished she could scream at him just how much she hated him. She wanted him to just go away! If he had never showed up, she could still pretend that Gaara could be hers! "Gaara...-pant-..I...I...I love you, Gaara!..-whimper-."

'No, no, no, this is NOT happening. Please, Gaara, don't say it back, just finish it and tell him to leave. I can forgive you, I can. Please, don't say it back.' Matsuri was openly crying now, remaining silent through will and shock.

Gaara looked right at her through the slightly open door with eyes that were almost grave, but too heated to say that they were entirely serious. He destroyed her entire world with five words, not as dramatic as one word ever was, but just enough to do the same job:

"I love you too, Lee." Matsuri witnessed with glassy eyes as her one and only love gave another harsh shove, taking Lee's manhood into his hand and pumping. They finished with a release of their seeds before falling against the bed limp. Gaara didn't look to her again as he pulled him flush against his side and began whispering to him things that Matsuri couldn't hear, didn't want to hear.

Entirely dead from the heart to everywhere else. She lost everything in one night, and there wasn't anything she was sure she could do. In the end, the joke was on her.