Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't have any notes at the moment. Except to apologize for my insanity.

"Mr. Black! Mr. Black, will you wake up?"
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Professor McGonnagal stood perched over Sirius, her face twisted into a sour expression of disapproval. Sirius forced his heart beat to slow down. He didn't think seeing McGonnagal first thing in the morning would be quite this terrifying. He smiled on the inside when he realized what James must go through on those occasions when he woke up with the three of them asleep in his bed. He pondered for a moment what James would say if he woke up next to McGonnagal....
"Mr. Black, would you please explain to me why you spent the night in the commons?" McGonnagal asked roughly.
"Well, you see, James and I had a fight, and he made me sleep on the couch," Sirius said, not caring what the repercussions would be from the prude professor.
McGonnagal gave him a hard stare for a moment, and then quitely said, "I don't want to know. I just don't need to know." She turned and walked towards the portrait hole. "Oh, and Mr. Black," she added on her way out, "please do try to control your socks. I believe they're trying to mate."
Sirius waited until she had left before he jumped off the couch and raced upstairs to his dorm. James was sitting on this edge of his bed. Remus was (not surprisingly) sleeping like a baby. Peter was sitting in a soft chair in the corner, trying to talk some sense into three or four socks, apparently the mating ones. They weren't listening. Sirius stood in an uncomfortable silence while he waited for James to notice him. But James was too deep in thought. Sirius hoped to God he wasn't thinking about last night's "incident".
"James?" Sirius tentatively said.
James was startled out of his thoughts. "Oh, you," he said.
*damn* Sirius thought. Silence, once again uncomfortable, ensued.
"I talked to Lily," James finally said.
"And?" Sirius held his breath.
Anger flashed over James' face. "She didn't forget about it."
"Oops," Sirius muttered. "But she still, I mean, she's YOUR girlfriend James. Right?"
"You're damn right, she is. What, you think she'd actually dump me over one kiss? You've got quite the opinion of yourself," James said, very coldly.
Sirius wasn't exactly an emotional guy, well, on the outside, but things like that have the ability to sting anyone.
"What did you think you were doing, kissing my girlfriend like that?" James bellowed. Peter decided that now would be a good time to go down to breakfast.
"Okay okay, listen close, becuase I'm not going to say it again." Sirius cleared his throat. "I made a mistake. I'm sorry."
James looked somewhat impressed, and back to his senses. "Well...that's...coming from you..." James let a small smile spread over his face. "In the words of my lovely, `Wow'."
Sirius allowed himself a chuckle. "So, you're convinced now?"
"Not completely," James said honestly.
Sirius sighed and went into deep contemplation for a minute. He looked over at Remus. Poor, sleeping, unsuspecting Remus. An idea flashed so brightly in his mind, that James could see it shining right through his eyes.
*i AM a truly evil person* Sirius thought.
"Okay Jamsie boy, I've got a plan that will convince you that a kiss between friends is nothing to be concerned about."
"Oh no, those are the words I love and hate," James groaned. "Sirius has a plan."
Poor, poor, sleeping, innocent Remus.
Sirius made no effort to be quiet as he walked over to Remus' bed and lay down next to him. (A/N: I know, my grammer sucks. please forgive.) Totes gave a cranky yowl and jumped away from Sirius, who he had grown to dislike since he had mysteriously been turned bright pink one day. James observed with humor that Totes was a pretty good judge of character. Sirius knew he didn't need to be quiet, because Remus slept like a log. Really. He had once slept through two fourteen year old boys jumping up and down on his bed. So, Sirius wasn't being too cautious. He tapped Remus between the eyes until he showed some signs of consciousness. James' suspisions of Sirius' plan were confirmed when Sirius threw one arm over Remus chest and snuggled up next to him.
"Good morning, Love," Sirius cooed as Remus woke up.
Quickly snapping into full alertness, as was his character, Remus stared back at Sirius with wide, horrified eyes. Sirius kept his character and continued unruffled.
"I've been thinking about us for a while, and I think we're meant to be together," he said sincerely.
"WHAT?" Remus gave a terrified squeek.
James was having a serious problem not collapsing to the ground with laughter. Sirius was doing a very good job at lying. He tightened his grip on the frightened werewolf and continued.
"Oh, Remus, I think I'm in love!" he said, and quickly planted a kiss on Remus' mouth.
Remus stopped squirming, and froze in sheer terror. Then he screamed, flailed his arms and legs until he was out of Sirius' grasp, and fled the dorm room. He turned long enough to see both James and Sirius doubled over with laughter. Remus had never been anywhere near stupid, but anyone was gullible this early in the morning. He stormed away in embarrassment, realizing that the joke had been on him, and that it must have been Sirius' way of proving himself to James.
"Okay, okay, I believe you," James said as soon as he'd caught his breath.
"Well, finally!" Sirius gasped. "Don't you ever make me do that again!!!" He was pulling out his tooth brush.
James started to ask Sirius a question, but was interrupted when the socks staged a small protest. Something about bleach causing impotency.
"So, tell me honestly," James said, after the freakishly strong socks had been subdued into a hamper, "who's the better kisser, Remus or Lily?"
"Now, that's I question I never thought I'd be asked," Sirius responded. "And it's a question that I'll never answer. A two edged sword, that question."
"You're right, my bad," James sheepishly responded. "I'd suggest that move next time Snape gets snippy, just to shut him up, but I reckon we'll have a whole new batch of troubles now that we have a psychologically disturbed werewolf on our hands."
"Well, there is one bright side to this," Sirius said optomistically.
"And what's that?"
"At least he didn't say `wow'."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* THE END*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hope you enjoyed! Please review and tell me if I should right more maruader fics! I'm thinking about starting, like, a series. Sort of. Something with the on going joke of the socks (oh damn them, the infamous socks) and maybe one about what happened when Remus' cat was turned bright pink. Anyway, toodles!