For jules! Cause it's her birthday, we're gon party like it's her birthday. A filling in of the events that were so unfortunately skimmed over. I LOVE YOU JULES!


Laundry Day: Dirty Laundry

Hanabi would not admit to missing her sister. She might have, if thoroughly bribed, confessed that it was somewhat more boring at home now that her sister had fled the bat-house, but that was easily dismissed by having less people to make fun of. But just because she wouldn't admit it didn't mean she wouldn't demand a day of attention. And to get her full day, barring a mission, she woke nice and early, some time around godawful o'clock and walked to her sister's apartment with only two aunties glaring at her as she left. Or maybe they were squinting.

She hopped gleefully up to the front door and rang the bell like she'd get a prize. There was no answer. Somewhat cheesed off, Hanabi tried again to no result. She could have been incapacitated or unconscious or dying or with a boy and all of them were an appropriate reason to use the byakugan. Hinata wasn't there, but her tea kettle had wisps of smoke leaking out its nose. She'd probably been up a while and had gone to get milk or something. She was crazy like that. Hanabi couldn't let herself in, since Hinata would undoubtedly skin her alive and fertilize her plant boxes with her lifeless remains because she was sick and tired of invasions of privacy. She bounced on her toes and decided she needed coffee.

The only area of town open this early and trendy enough to have coffee was practically on top of the Uchiha compound. Had Hanabi been anything or anyone other than a determined brat of a richgirl, she probably would have given up before finding the place. If she wanted it, she would get it. And, she grinned speculatively, she would get it for free.

The barista was just a little younger than her sister, and, seeing as it was barely light out, with a fantastic view of the Uchiha mess, Hanabi planted her elbows on the counter, chin resting on her fists.

"If Sasuke comes by, and I tell you boxers or briefs, can I get a free mocha?"

The girl gave her a doubtful look. Hanabi merely smiled and took a quick glance into the cash register.

"I see twelve 100 yen coins in the left compartment. And a button."

She got her mocha, with extra chocolate and the information that Sasuke did his laundry around this time for safety. The crazy obsessive ones always wanted to look their best when they threw themselves at him, so they wouldn't leave their houses for at least another hour.

She was half done when she spotted Pretty Boy with a basket of laundry and what looked like a bloody nose. She braced herself and activated her bloodline. Her already widened eyes fairly bulged out of their sockets.

"There are girly panties in his pocket!"

She heard a metallic clatter and she would have looked, except lace, Uchiha, panties, EWW, Uchiha, EWWWWWWWWWW were about the only things she could think.

She nearly had to lie flat on the counter to see the barista on the floor.

"Maybe, I mean, lacey black thongs aren't all that uncommon… they're his?" she offered half-heartedly and dropped some money on the counter. She fled to Hinata's and found her sister just about done hanging her freshly laundered sweaters.

It was nearly a month after word got out among the fangirls. They tried to keep it among themselves, because they weren't sure if it was cool or just plain freakish. Unfortunately, a couple of them were trying to decide in the corner of a café Kiba and his sister were arguing in. They both stopped dead when they pieced together what they had been trying not to hear, argument about pan-fried or deep-fried completely out the window.

After that it was all over the shinobi community, except Sasuke, because no one really wanted their place of residence set on fire, and a few other decorous individuals who didn't believe gossip was a viable source of information.

The problem was that the barista and her close friends, who had in turn told their friends, had been in a state of denial over the possibility that Sasuke knew any girl well enough to take her underwear, unknowing or on purpose. So they had unanimously concluded that the black thong in question belonged to Sasuke. That issue had been taken care of almost immediately, but the fangirl community was still working on a dilemma. Sasuke in a black thong was too freaking hot; Sasuke in a girl's thong was hot but questionable.

It was two months and five days after the fact that Sasuke actually found out about the speculation.

"Oi, Uchiha, is it true you wear a thong on Sundays?"

Sasuke turned and awarded Kiba with a bone-chilling glare. The rest of the old team 8 were silent; Hinata with shock, Shino, just because.

Kiba was unalarmed. "Or maybe I got it backwards. Maybe Sunday is the boyshorts."

Sasuke opened his mouth to either demand to know what the fuck or set him on fire, he wasn't sure, but the Aburame spoke before he could decide.

"Kiba, I don't think he wants you imagining him in his underwear."

Instead of taking offense, Kiba just laughed harder. "But he's so hot!" he whined, a decent impression of Ino in her younger days.

Sasuke decided. Questioning idiots was pointless. He left the Inuzuka beating out his flaming pockets. Kiba unfortunately, couldn't let him have the last word.

"Someone has been telling people you like girly panties, Uchiha. And whoever they are claims the byakugan saw it."

Hinata looked like baby rabbit when all three men looked at her.

"I-it wasn't me!" she squeaked. "I-I've never seen… Sasuke's… oh! Well, I have, once," she stammered hands making panicked patterns in the air, "but it was only that time and only because Sasuke was kind enough to- but there wasn't a thong, well, there was but it was—" At that point Hinata did the only reasonable and dignified thing she could. She fainted dead away.

Sasuke was the only one who had the presence of mind to catch her, since her two old teammates were trying to figure out what they had just heard.

When she recovered, he told her she was taking him to dinner in repayment. She couldn't say no, since her brain froze up every time she thought about him, now that the idea of Sasuke in his underwear had burrowed into her brain and set up shop. It must have been a very popular shop, since all her thoughts ended up there and could not be convinced to leave.

They went to a classy, reservations-only-unless-you-have-the-connections restaurant that afforded them peace and quiet for a good three hours while they ate and eventually grew comfortable enough to chat. By the time they left, they had managed to agree to meet again.

A month and some fifteen 'meetings' later, Sasuke remembered to return her panties. Unfortunately, he chose to do it in the middle of the street, where Neji, Kiba, Shino, Hanabi, a baker's dozen fangirls and the Hokage 'just happened to be passing by'.

Neji went white and collapsed. Hanabi pried herself away from the scene when she noticed her cousin in need of medical attention and the Hokage too busy writing out I.O.U.s and a goodbye note to Shizune to help him.

"Unless you're dating, there's no reason I shouldn't shove your balls down your throat and pull them out your pasty white ass" snarled Kiba, already in attack position.

"We are dating," retorted Sasuke, cool as ice.

"We are?" squeaked Hinata. "We are!" she confirmed hastily after glancing at Sasuke.

Kiba, and Shino, as much as he was able, looked on disbelievingly as Sasuke sealed the deal by yanking Hinata into a show-stopping make-out session right there on the street. Their hardened shinobi composure began to crack when they realized how eagerly Hinata was going at it. Much too eagerly to suggest she was only trying to save the selfsame pasty white ass Kiba had been threatening.

Hinata broke away reluctantly to watch her teammates beat a hasty retreat. She peered up at Sasuke, eyes asking if he really was serious. She got her answer when he shoved his tongue back into her mouth.