A/N: To celebrate the completion (yeah, I said it) of my first fic, Year of the Wiggler, I am taking up the fanfic 100 challenge with Bowser and Peach. I'm still going to start on a full length Bowser and Peach adventure story, but oneshots are a lot easier to write than larger chapters. This way, I can still write even if I don't have a lot of time or motivation to get down to anything "serious". I hope you'll enjoy these little fluffy things and, as always, I love reviews and absolutely do take requests, especially for these.
"Good morning, Peach," Bowser's voice echoed across the room as Peach entered the large, mostly empty dining hall.
"It would be a good morning if you told me that you had come to your senses and decided to take me home before Mario has to come rescue me," she replied curtly.
Bowser merely laughed in return.
Annoyed, Peach took a seat at the large table. She had taken her time getting ready this morning, feeling that she would much rather spend time on her hair and makeup than hang around Bowser all day. In truth, the only reason she had come out of her room was because her stomach refused to stop growling.
"You look nice today," Bowser remarked. "Of course, you always look nice but…my comment stands."
Ignoring the compliment, Peach asked, "Have you eaten yet?"
Bowser growled, "No, because some idiot screwed up the food ordering and the only thing we have in the entire castle is cereal. I mean what kind of moron would think it's a good idea to order three hundred and fifty pounds of Admiral Bobbery's Alphabet Crunch?"
Peach's stomach growled in complaint. "It's edible, isn't it?"
"Eh, the little marshmallow bits aren't bad, but the rest of it is pretty much sawdust and gerbil food."
"I don't mean to be rude but, I'm so hungry, I could eat almost anything. Do you have milk?"
"Uh, I think so. We can check."
"Let's do that then."
The royal duo marched into the kitchen, demanding their cereal needs be met instantly. Soon after, they were sitting side-by-side trying to spell words in their bowls of cereal.
"Ha, mine's better. Look, if I move this here, I can make 'apple'," boasted the Koopa King.
"That's not a P, you just bit the tails off of the R so it doesn't count!" Peach replied.
"It counts! Who said you get to make the rules? You're just mad because I thought of it and you didn't!"
"Well mine spells 'onamonapia', so I think I win," she countered.
"No you don't; that's not even a real word!"
"Yes it is; look it up! Go on; I'll wait."
Bowser grumbled; he was more likely to believe in her vocabulary than his own. If he looked it up and it was the dictionary, she'd get the chance to prove him wrong and, in his mind, kings were never wrong.
"What I meant was that it's a stupid word, so it doesn't count. I've never used…that word you just said…once in my entire life, so it must be useless."
Peach rolled her eyes. He's such a brat. "Fine, I'll change it." She moved a few letters around in their milk until the message read "take me home".
Bowser responded by dumping dry cereal on top of her message until her bowl was full. "I'll tell you what; if you finish all three hundred and fifty pounds of Admiral Bobbery's Alphabet Crunch, I'll take you home, provided you're not too fat to stuff into the Clown Car."
Peach glared at him. "Then I'll just wait until Mario rescues me and stomps you as usual."
Bowser sighed, it hurt when she said things like that, but he did his best not to let it bother him. "But then who's gonna help me eat all this cereal? There are starving children in Rougeport!"
Peach shook her head, turned her back on the Koopa King, and slowly walked back to her room, exiting without another word.
Bowser folded his arms and found a servant. "Hey Shorty, I need a big box. I mean a really, really big box, pronto."
When the servant returned with the box, the Koopa King stuffed it full of Admiral Bobbery's Alphabet Crunch. In the middle of all the cereal, he buried a little note that read: In case you were wondering, mine spells "I love you" and it's the only thing that counts.
He taped up the box and scribbled the address of the Mushroom Castle on the face, fully knowing that amidst the heaping piles of Admiral Bobbery's Alphabet Crunch that would flood Peach's floor when she opened the box in her home castle, she would never find his secret love note.