Another Kink meme prompt that I filled, the general request this time being "Phoenix/Edgeworth - Edgeworth gets a new car, and Phoenix decides that they need to 'christen' it. On, in, against the car, doesn't matter, so long as they're having sex on the car." It was my first time writing smut by myself, but I got nice reviews from the OP and quite a few other anons, plus my friend, who proofread this for me, so...I guess I did okay. Read on, and remember: I like reviews a lot! I like them more than faves! Yes, that much!

Phoenix and Edgeworth belong to Capcom. That sentence should keep said characters from coming after me, but even if it doesn't, I'm a yaoi fangirl. I'm scarier than them anyway... XD

Also, in my headcanon, Edgeworth is British and has a very posh accent, and it's actually in my headcanon that his first car, the one we see in the game, is actually a British car, so I kind of cheated and incorporated that into the story. XD Enjoy.





"It...looks just like your last one."

"What!? Don't be absurd, Wright, this one is clearly a more advanced model!"

"Um, y-yeah. Are you sure you got a new car..?"

"I better well have, for the money it cost me to buy it..."

Phoenix stared, not quite sure what his reaction should be. The new(?) bright red sports car was situated in the underground parking lot of Edgeworth's apartment, the dim, florescent lighting reflecting dully off of the shiny red paint. It looked...exactly like his last one, except it was a British car, so the steering was on the opposite side, and it was...maybe a slightly darker shade of red? Or maybe it was just shinier because it was brand new. And that's where the confusion set in. He knew that Edgeworth's last car had been found with a body in the trunk, but he seemed to drive around in it for a while after that anyway, so that didn't seem to be the problem... Then again, he supposed that it could've just gotten more unnerving as he went along. Besides, if the prosecutor was just going to get rid of the other car anyway, he could've just given it to him! I mean, sure he didn't have a license yet, but...he was going to get one someday, he was sure of it! And then he could've had an awesome (free) car to drive around!

"Wright, you're never going to get your license, and you know it."


"I might've considered giving it to you if you already had your license, but with your attention span, I don't see you ever getting one anyway."

"Bu- Wha- H-how-?"

"You're expression often tells what you're thinking. If you were more conscious of that, then no one would be able to read you so easily."

'Note to self: Learn to hide expression.'

"Good luck with that."


Phoenix didn't say much more about that. He merely watched as Edgeworth went into detail about the new(?) car. Phoenix's attention was far from his words, however, instead, his eyes focusing on how Edgeworth slid his hands over the hood of the car, frowning and rubbing his thumb across the paint when he spotted a speck of dust or some other blemish that Phoenix was sure only he could see. His eyes followed Edgeworth's motions as he opened the driver-side door, and sat down, demonstrating to him all the controls and buttons and features, and Phoenix noted that he only had one leg inside the vehicle, the other still out the door. The prosecutor's legs were spread quite nicely like that... Phoenix swallowed. He could already feel the beginnings of a hard on... Miles, meanwhile, had gone on to explain about the different gears, and had decided to demonstrate by running his hand all over the gear shift! (He was doing this on purpose, he had to be...) And he wasn't done yet. As he fondled, yes, fondled (Phoenix was certain) the gear shift, he was explaining about how fast his damn car could go, and how it could easily take corners, no matter how tight. He reached under the seat, in between his legs to show Phoenix where the button to adjust the seat was, and the man just looked so damn focused, so composed, and Phoenix wanted nothing more than to shatter that calm expression into a million tiny-

"Excuse me..?"


"Just now. You muttered something that I swear had something to do with...'fucking me over the hood'?"

"D-did I..?"

He honestly never remembered those words leaving his lips...

"Yes Wright. You did."

Phoenix fidgeted nervously. It wasn't as if Miles was oblivious to his feelings. Hell, they'd been kind of unofficially dating for almost three months now! ('Unofficially' meaning they never technically asked each other out, it just sort of...happened.) They had kissed, told each other "I love you", they even fooled around a bit, but still... Edgeworth stepped out of the car. Phoenix stepped back.

"You want to soil my brand new car?"

"Well, maybe I want to soil it because it's new!"

"That doesn't make any sense..."

"Well, you only just brought it back from the dealer, right? So it hasn't been broken in yet, right?"

"It's not a baseball glove, Wright. It doesn't need to be 'broken in'."

"So you don't want to do it?"

An uncertain silence hung in the air of the parking lot. Phoenix's expression, his tone of voice... Edgeworth just knew that he was blushing, and he hated himself for it. It wasn't that he didn't want to, exactly, it was just...well... They were technically in public. Although it was somewhat late, and not many people would be passing by at this hour, Edgeworth wasn't exactly thrilled at the thought of being seen in such a compromising position with the defense attorney. ("Compromising" was actually an enormous understatement, and if he were to think about it again, he would probably use a more intense word.) There were cameras perched everywhere to help prevent any crimes from taking place, and if they were in the line of one...


And apparently, Phoenix wasn't waiting anymore, cameras be damned. Before Edgeworth could gather his thoughts together enough to refuse the request, the blue-suited attorney had managed to step forward and capture his lips, silencing any objections he was going to make. He certainly wasn't making any now...

"W-" *Kiss.* "Wrigh-" *Kiss.*

"Aww, come on, Edgeworth." *Kiss.* "I think it could be fun." *Kiss.*

"How could it possibly be fun?" *Kiss.* "Where's the romance?" *Kiss.*

"Well, your body isn't objecting. In fact, it seems to be agreeing with me."

Edgeworth cursed inwardly. Was it his fault that thoughts of doing something so vulgar, so unusual, so forbidden turned him on!? He wouldn't have even thought about doing something like that if Phoenix wouldn't have suggested it! So obviously, the fact that he was just sitting there, letting Wright slip off his jacket, tossing it into the car through the still-opened door, was all Phoenix's fault. It was simply because he was so distracted by Phoenix taking off his jacket that he didn't mind when the buttons of his black vest were being hastily undone, one at a time, the vest being tossed into the car to join his jacket. It was only because Phoenix's lips were on his, tongue clashing with his own to keeping him from talking that he didn't say anything when his white dress shirt was given the same treatment, and when he moaned at the hands slipping down to undo his belt...that was Wright's fault for brushing too close to his slight erection...which was also his fault. (Was it really necessary to strip completely? They were in a parking garage for judge's sake!)

"Seems to me like your mind is beginning to agree with my idea too."

"Oh, shut up. If you wouldn't have suggested it in the first place, I never would've started thinking about it!"

"But I did. And you are."

A smirk. Miles wanted to wipe that smug grin right off of his face, and probably would have if not for-

"Ah-! Mngh..."

...if not for Phoenix's hand down his pants, which somehow got unbuckled and slipped down slightly during the course of their short conversation. Needless to say, Miles was pretty well incapacitated after that. Phoenix made quick work of his own clothes, simply tossing them to the concrete flooring. Miles figured Phoenix had thought he would get mad if his designer suit had been carelessly tossed to the floor where who-knows-WHAT kinds of germs might be crawling around... Good call on his part. He was laid back against the hood (how had they gotten to the front of the car!?) and the now-suitless attorney just kept him there for a bit, teasing him mercilessly. Stroking his finger up his inner thigh, tweaking nipples, running his tongue over his chest and neck...

"D-damn it Wright, if you're going to do this, make it quick! Someone m-might see!"

But Phoenix was having none of that. He was going at his own pace, and Edgeworth would just have to hold on, wouldn't he? Phoenix's hand slid slowly up Miles' leg, his fingers reaching out to stroke and tease at his entrance, narrowly avoiding getting kneed in the stomach by holding the prosecutor's limbs down.

"Wright, there are cameras in this parking lot. Hurry it up!"

"But if they're going to see us anyway, we might as well give them a show, right?"