Hello readers! Please enjoy this fanfic…
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Naruto's characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto
Team 7 were now walking home after the rescue mission of Kazekage. They were walking in a world full of enjoyment. Well, all, except two fuming students.
"Seriously, why can't he shut up?", Naruto thought anggrily while watching the giggling sensei of his. "Even Kakashi sensei is better than this lecherous Sannin!", thought Naruto, staring to the back of Jiraiya's head hatefully.
Wonder why the copy cat didn't go in the mission with team 7?
"Good, you are all here, Naruto, Sakura, Sai, and Jiraiya.", said Tsunade while holding an A rank mission. "Shizune, please read the mission for us.", asked Tsunade while passing the paper to Shizune. " Hai, Tsunade-sama, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, Sai, and Jiraiya, are hereby request to resque the Kazekage, Gaara-sama from the Akatsuki", stated Shizune.
"What?!? That's mean Gaara has been captured by Akatsuki?!?", yelled Naruto while banging his hands on Tsunade's table. "Calm down, and yes Naruto, Gaara has been captured by Akatsuki!", Tsunade answered or more practically yelled. "Now, all of you better go and leave for Suna."
"Wait, why Kakashi-sensei isn't here? And what this Sai is doing here?", Sakura asked. "Well Sai is here as the replacement of Sasuke, while Kakashi…", Tsunade stopped in mid track, banged her head on the table, and gestured a hand to Shizune.
"Shizune, please…" begged the Godaime desperately. "Yes, Hokage-sama" said Shizune a bit hesitantly,"Kakashi due to the fact that he… well, giggling too much over that stupid book and as the result, intestine problem erm, you know, is currently in the hospital…" said Shizune, unable to form a proper sentence and unable to finish too because,
Suddenly, a hysteric scream reached the ears of the group, "Please, Doctor! I beg you, don't burn my precious baby!" which is coming from a hospital across the Hokage tower.
"But, sir, the reason of you being here is this, I must burn this because you refused to be separated with it!", came another loud voice who appeared to be the doctor.
The group tensed. Is there any doctor who evil enough to kill a man's baby? Or even worse to burn the baby? Tsunade prepared to order a group of Anbu to stop the crazy doctor when suddenly the man's voice cut her in mid breath.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't kill Icha Icha!!! Icha ICHA!!!!!!!!!". At that point Naruto and Sakura fainted and fell down anime style."…. and was now in deep coma", finished Shizune for her unfinished sentence. Sai saw this quickly bowed towards the fallen body and begged,:" Please, teach me how to faint as a sign of emotion." "Gyahaha. No wonder I, the great toad Sannin is a wonderful writer that able to defeat THE COPY NIN OF KONOHA BY HIS BOOOOKKKKKK!!!!!", yelled Jiraiya while doing that freaking pose of his.
Both Tsunade and Shizune sweatdropped seeing this scene. "Hokage-sama are you sure wanna give the mission to a half-insane group?", asked Shizune not tearing her gaze from the scene in front. Tsunade quiet for a while and finally answered,:"Maybe…".
(End Flash Back)
Naruto, shaking his head to clear off the unwanted memory, and was about to yell to the Toad Sannin in front of him when the Sannin himself cut him.
"Alright kids, we will camp for the night right here!", announce Jiraiya pointing to a small clearing that nicely covered with trees. The group that were abit mad were now sighed in relief for having a break after their long journey. Tomorrow in midday they will surely arrived in Konoha.
They sat in relief and was beginning to unpacked their things in search of a meal and bath's equipment. But Sakura after unpacking her bath's stuff, started to head into the forest.
"Wait Sakura! Where do you go?" asked Naruto.
"I want to take a bath in the hot spring. I spotted one when we were walking home."
"But Sakura, I wanna take a bath too!" whined Naruto.
"You know that ladies will go first, wait here till I come." Voiced Sakura that left no room of argument.
But Sai was foolish enough, decided to speak his thought,:" Why don't we go bath together? It will definitely save some time.", Sai said calmly unaware of the killer intent that the pink-haired kunoichi began to leak out.
"Yeah, Sakura why don't we go bath together?", said Naruto who suddenly got the wicked perverted glint in his eyes.
"....You'.SAID!!!!", yelled Sakura while flaring all of her killer intents to both of her friends.
Sakura stomped her feet towards her expressionless confused teammate.
"I have a formula before I send you straight to the afterlife, do you know what it is?", demanded Sakura hatefully.
"I don't have any clue.", said Sai calmly. "What made her acting like this? Emotions are so weird after all.", he thought questioningly.
"Then I'll tell you, Sakura's mad+Chakra fist=Sayonara!!!!!", yelled Sakura bringing her flaring fist next to her head. It could make Gai wondering how many gates should he open to produce chakra that big.
A loud cry was tearing the forest apart and causing a flock of birds flying to the sky.
Now if you look at Sai you wouldn't notice him since all of his body had bumps on it, making him twice bigger that his actual size. His hands and legs were twisted in a grosteque angle.
Sakura with all of her killing intents still flaring making her looks like a demon herself, cracked her knuckles, satisfied with her work.
But she immediately turned her completely pissed off eyes towards the direction of Naruto. Naruto was hugging the Ero-Sennin legs, peeing in his own pants. You should see the shitless scare look on his face!
Sakura began her way towards both the Sannin and Naruto.
"Naruuttoooooooo………", she trailed off very slowly and deathly.
Seeing this, Jiraiya immediately kicked Naruto off of him,:"Don't made me involve in this execution too!", Jiraiya shouted at Naruto anggrily,"Beside, I don't wanna beat into a bloody pulp like Sai do.",thought Jiraiya while glancing at Sai with pity in his eyes.
"Sayonara, next trip, one way ticket to hell.", Sakura hissed while walking closer to Naruto with cracking earth beneath her every step.
"Nooooo!!! Mercy Satan, mercy!! I beg you, please don't eat me!!!!!!!!!", Yelled Naruto on top of his lungs, hugging a tree trunk like it held the dear life of him.
Again, an even loud cry emerged from the forest, scaring bigger flocks of birds.
Sakura was now completely calmed down, began her way towards the hot spring, leaving two bloody pulps behind her.
"Glad I don't go in her bad site.", thought Jiraiya bitterly. Suddenly a thought struck at him like a truck."Why, don't I peek on her a bit? With that, I can have an inspiration for my book even in a mission!", thought Jiraiya gleefully. Inside of his mind a chibi Jiraiya dancing like he had won a war.
"Wait, what if she find out?", another chibi Jiraiya appeared, stopping the dancing one mid track.
"We will be killed by the girl you foolish!", another chibi Jiraiya appeared in a puff of smoke.
Then another one appeared after another one. In the end it formed an 'Agree To Peek' chibi Jiraiya's team and a 'Disagree To Peek' chibi Jiraiya's team.
"We cannot risk to peek on her unless we want to dig our own graves!",Said a member of the team, holding a large pamflet that had the 'DO NOT PEEK' written on it.
"Yeah, if she find out then we're done!", another one shouted in the same team.
"So, we have to peek on her carefully!", a chibi Jiraiya from the opposite team yelled.
"Don't let her know of our existence!", The same member of team shouted, holding a large pamflet that had 'PEEK FOR GOODNESS' written on it.
"That's the key! Don't let her know of our existence!", said Jiraiya cheerfully, finnaly ending his inner battle. "Kids I gonna hunt some animals for our dinner! Go relax your self!", shouted Jiraiya while began walking towards the direction Sakura had been gone to.
"You're so dead Ero Sennin. Sayonara, we'll meet again in the after life, I guess.", muffled Naruto.
Back to Jiraiya…
"Where the hell is the hot spring?",thought Jiraiya stressfully. "I have to find it for my own goodness!", shouted Jiraiya determinely.
Suddenly a girlish voice caught his ear. She appeared to be humming a song.
"Ha, found it!", Jiraiya thought excitedly. He began closing the distance between he and the voice. Only a bush that prevent him go towards his destination.
Jiraiya removed the bush very carefully. Below him, the certain pink-haired kunoichi was bathing and humming a song.
Jiraiya's eyes began to curve pervertedly."Oh, look at that, that's my favorite type of woman!", Jiraiya thought. He began to pull out a note and started writing in it.
Suddenly a basketball-sized rock connected to Jiraiya's head and a loud "Who's there!!!" accompany it. Jiraiya lost his balance, and fell down, skidding his way down towards the hot spring, head first.
Sakura screamed loudly, and began covering her most intimate parts and sunk deeper into the hot water. "I knew it was you, damned-Frog!!!!!", she screamed madly, her voice promised a good death if she didn't like the answer.
"This is a misunderstanding, I was keeping a watch to protect you!!!", said Jiraiya fearfully. Sakura in this state was like a mini-Tsunade!
"You're the biggest threat ever, Ero-Sennin!!", Sakura yelled. Jiraiya was now completely frightened and desperately began crawling back to where he came from. Unfortunately a truck-sized rock crushed him like a peanut.
Sakura had change very quickly, even her speed could match the Hiraishin of the Yondaime! She was on her feet and seconds later was in front of Jiraiya.
Sakura grabbed Jiraiya foot with ease and began spinned him above her head.
"SYANAROOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", with that she flung Jiraiya in full strenght that cause him heading straight 20km far, and fell down to a cliff. A bigger cry teared the forest apart causing all the birds in that area flew to the sky.
"Wish you luck in hell, Ero-Sennin.", Sakura spat the name like it was poisonous. She began her way back to the camp.
Meanwhile in hell,
"Where the hell is this", Jiraiya said while massaging his sore neck.
"BLOODY HELL, IT'S JIRAIYA THE PERVERTED SANNIN!!!!!", screamed all of the demonesses panickly. They began packing their stuffs and gone in a matter of seconds.
"Excuse me?", asked Jiraiya towards all of fuming male-demons.
"You will tasted the most antagonishing death in painful ways, Toad.", one of the demon stated with hatred laced into his voice.
"Damn…", Jiraiya thought.
Two days later….
Two males hugging each other with shaking legs behind a kunoichi.
"Scary, What sin that I have done Lord!", Naruto thought while glancing towards the blue sky.
"I don't like emotions, It made me felt shiver ran down to all of my body.", Sai thought, staring at the back of the kunoichi.
"She sure is insane.", Naruto thought bitterly recalling the memory a day ago.
"Hm, what do I have to do to make you able to walk again despite having all of your bumps.", Sakura asked the two lumps of meat.
"You could heal us using your medical ninjutsu!", shouted Naruto cheerfully behind all of his bumps.
"That would be too necessary, Wait here.", Sakura said, leaving her teammates.
"What would she be up to?", thought Sai.
Suddenly a continuous earthquake began to crawl their way. Moments later a big herd of elephants emerged from the forest.
Naruto and Sai's eyes widdened to a size of plate. Before they could move their mouths, the elephants crushing them to the thick of a paper.
"Well it will make the healing process faster!", said a happy Sakura while began her way towards her flat teammates.
(End Flash Back)
Naruto shaked his head vigorously to push the memory out of his head.
Sakura stopped in mid track causing the two males' blood ran cold.
"Shit, damn, fucking bitch,…..", both Naruto and Sai cursed in their mind.
"We're here", muttered Sakura, she began her way to the Hokage's tower.
Both of the males sighed in relief and followed her right in her tail.
"Okay team 7, report the mission.", said Tsunade, while wondering 'where the hell would Jiraiya be' in her mind.
Sakura pulled out a note to gods know where did it come from, and began writing on it.
"Here all of the report", said Sakura handing the confused Hokage the note. Then she began walking out of the office.
"Erm, better go, Ba-chan", Naruto shouted while jumping out of the balcony with a flying chair accompany him.
"ThenIgotoo", Sai muttered and vanished in a swirl of ink.
"What the hell is wrong with them?!?", shouted Tsunade and Shizune in their mind.
Tsunade handed Shizune the paper and said,"Read it please."
"Hai Hokage-sama. Mission completed, Gaara-sama have returned to Sunagakure safely. Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sai have completted the mission safely…", Shizune stopped in mid track, narrowing her eyes trying to read a very tiny writing on it,"….while Jiraiya got killed by a pink-haired kunoichi.", Shizune trailed off very slowly.
"Tsunade-sama, do you know who is this that killed Jiraiya-san?", Shizune questioned.
"As I guess!", Tsunade thought bitterly.
Well what do you think?
Also for those of you that are Inuyasha's fans, please read my other story 'Masked By Shadow' and don't forget to review! ^^