Beast Boy changed himself into a small green bug and leaped into Kid Flash's orange hair to hitch a ride with him as he sprinted from Titans Tower to Keystone City. He actually kind of liked doing this because it was so freaky to watch the sights go by in waves of blurs the way they did when Kid Flash ran at high speed. Gar had often wondered, to himself, whose powers he'd like to have if he didn't have his own. He would've liked to be Elongated Man, stretching 500 yards or tying up a crook with just a few fingers stretched out like ropes. Or the Green Lantern gig seemed pretty sweet. That ring was powerful. And you could be pretty much normal except for having it. But Wally's power seemed especially good to him. The whole get hit by lightning and splashed head to toe in what should have been toxic chemicals thing wasn't very enticing but to be able to run like this must be fantastic. And he could dress in normal clothes and no one would really know who he was. He didn't have freaking green skin as a side effect of his power.
After just a few seconds of incomprehensible blur, Kid Flash slowed, in stages, first to a couple hundred miles an hour in the outskirts of Keystone City. Gar the bug could see cars and trucks they were blowing past now. Then, suddenly, Kid Flash was just jogging off the sidewalk of a Keystone City street and into the parking lot of the Flash Museum. Gar primed his six tiny legs and leaped up out of Wally's hair then turned into his human self in mid air before landing on his feet on the pavement beside Kid Flash.
"You okay?" asked Kid Flash.
The two teens walked ahead through the parking lot. There were enough spaces for up to 500 cars in the Flash Museum lot. The lot was filled on special occasions. But it was closing time now, 6 o'clock on Sunday in Keystone City, three hours ahead of Jump City. There were some 40 or so cars filling up as people were leaving. A few people saw Kid Flash and shouted for him to come over. He and Beast Boy obliged and stood for pictures with a bunch of different little kids and some moms and dads, too.
Beast Boy liked the casual way that the Flashes interacted with the people of Keystone City. Mento was always paranoid about the general public. Doom Patrol had hardly ever interacted with real people. Most of the Justice League was like that. They floated up above the earth in a satellite, now, for god's sake. The Titans were always in danger of being like that, too, thought Gar with their Tower safely separated on an island from the inconvenient actual people of Jump City. It was both kind of paranoid and snobby too. He wanted things to be more like Keystone City was with Flash and Kid Flash.
When the last minivan full of kids pulled out of the parking lot, Kid Flash and Beast Boy waved to them and headed for the main entrance. "We could have snuck in the back. I just wanted to make sure that Mr. Myles knew we were here."
"You just like all the picture taking and stuff," said Beast Boy holding open the glass door.
Kid Flash smiled bashfully. Yeah. Kind of. But added, "Of course, I didn't hear you exactly resisting any of those little kids who wanted to sit on top of a real Tyrannasaurus Rex, either."
Beast Boy shrugged with a smile ackowledging his equal guilt.
A white haired distinguished looking older man came around the corner as they entered, "Sorry folks we're already closed for the, oh! Kid Flash! And you must be Beast Boy!"
Kid Flash introduced them. Dexter Myles, Beast Boy. Beast Boy, Mr. Myles. They shook hands and Kid Flash explained that he and Beast Boy were there to get an item from the storage room and that they'd leave out that exit, that Mr. Myles didn't have to wait up for them. Another round of friendly words and they were off. He told Beast Boy to jog alongside him and they made their way through the acre and a half's worth of displays of various Flash and Kid Flash missions. There was a display case with a life size mannequin of every major villain they'd fought. And there were displays of Flash in various conditions after he'd endured all sorts of different transformations at the hands of these villains. There was the wooden marionette of Flash like what Abra Kadabra had done to him. There was the red mirror in the outline of Flash's body like what Mirror Master had done to him. There was a version of Flash with a giant head, the top of which looked like it could contain a basketball, like what Trickster had done to him. There was a cloud Flash made only of water vapor like what Doctor Alchemy had done to him. That was actually a top quality hologram and not water vapor but almost none of the visitors ever guessed that. Try making water vapor stay in the shape of a body.
And just before they jogged past the entrance to the recently opened Flash IMAX, there was the impossibly fat 1,000 pound Flash, a replica of what Grodd had done to him. Kid Flash slowed, staring at it over his shoulder a few steps short of where Gar had stopped by the entrance to the Flash IMAX.
"Yeah," confirmed Kid Flash jogging up to him. "Flash took cameras with him on a bunch of different sprints so that they could film what the world looks like to us and the added in a whole bunch of other footage of him on missions. It's really cool. We'll come here and watch it some time."
Beast Boy nodded enthusiastically.
Kid Flash took up another very slow jog so that Beast Boy could keep up with him and led him past the displays about Flash's missions with Elongated Man and his time with the Justice League to a featureless gray wall at the back of the building. He walked up to a certain spot and said aloud, "Kid Flash."
Suddenly a door with no handle of knob appeared in the wall and cracked open slightly. Kid Flash held it open and waved for Beast Boy to follow. He closed the door behind him and, again, said aloud, "Kid Flash." The door seemed to disappear again. Pretty clever, thought Beast Boy. No one'll be tempted to see what's behind a door they don't even know is there, will they?
With the door closed, the room was nearly pitch black but Kid Flash flipped some light switches and a series of industrial style downward facing hemispheric lights, the kind you see in some warehouses, lit the big room. It was sixty feet wide and forty feet deep and filled to eye height and in some cases higher with cardboard boxes full of stuff. They were arranged sort of haphazardly around the cement floor of the room with aisles between them and every box had some kind of black magic marker writing on it. A stack of three boxes next to Beast Boy had one labeled "Vandal Savage--Earth 2", on the bottom topped by one that said "Race with Superman--Promotions" and one labeled "First Elongated Man Joint Mission" on top of that.
All sorts of unpredictable items were overflowing the cardboard boxes. There were parts of villain uniforms, capes, cowls, helmets boots and gloves often in unfortunate shades of spandex. There were guns, knives, clubs, maces and grenades. There were reams and reams of paper, the remnants of instructions to lackeys, detailed plans to rule the world and steps for heists among other things. There were damaged items of all sorts, a laptop computer one side of which appeared to have been melted away. There were iPhones that had had corners neatly lasered off. There were halves and quarters and just minor arcs of DVD's and CD's and here and there damaged car parts.
The boxes held whatever science geek Flash had decided to keep from any mission, sometimes on the unlikeliest possibility that he might want to analyze some particular item. Flash always erred on the side of taking stuff with him from the sites of missions and fights. The overflowing boxes testified to that.
"Um, it'll take me a few minutes, Gar. I'm not sure exactly where the one I want is."
Beast Boy nodded and strolled along behind Kid Flash who was checking the title of box after box and stopping to look in some. Beast Boy's elbow bumped against some polished glass items and he picked up what looked almost like a water pistol but with a cone widening outward at the muzzle. "Hey, what's this, Wally?"
Kid Flash looked over his shoulder. "Gar! Put that down! That's Mirror Master's gun to turn anything into a mirror."
Beast Boy looked at it in his white gloved hand skeptically. "This?"
"Yes, that! Just . . put it down."
Beast Boy shrugged. Fine. What. Ever.
Kid Flash kept searching, bending over to look into one box after another but not finding what he was looking for right away. "It''ll be in one of six of seven Grodd boxes, " he explained when he looked back to see Beast Boy sighing. "And I've gotta check the boxes next to each of 'em. Sometimes things overflow."
"I can see that," said Beast Boy gesturing to the whole room. Kid Flash shrugged and went back to looking, zipping ahead 30 feet. Beast Boy followed behind him and saw a box with a long black cape, white on the inside, overflowing out of it and a poofy looking gray top and pants to go with it. Gar pulled the pants, already half out of the box the rest of the way and held them up. He snickered. What were they, 22 waist, 42 inseam? And as he stuffed them back in the box he saw a small wooden wand, almost like an orchestra conductor's baton lying atop the cape.
Kid Flash happened to glance back behind him at that moment.
"Stop!" he shouted. Gar almost jumped at the sudden noise in the quiet.
In a hundredth of a second, Kid Flash had zipped over to stand in front of him and grab hold of his wrist.
"Gar. That's Abra Kadabra's magic wand. If you don't want to turn yourself or me or both of us into life size wooden marionette versions of ourselves or something crazy like that, then we'll have to put it down . . exactly . . the . . way . . it . . was."
"Garrrrrrrr. We're gonna do this slow," said the speedster gripping the shape shifter's wrist tightly and slowly forcing it down toward the box. Beast Boy listened carefully. Wally didn't usually counsel to go slow. "Is that where it was?"
"Yeah, right there on that cape," said Beast Boy.
As delicately as if defusing a bomb in the middle of an orphanage, Kid Flash had him put it down exactly as it had been. That done, he sighed.
"Sorry Gar. I should have told you there were a lot of things in here that are still dangerous."
Beast Boy sputtered a few words but just followed along behind Kid Flash casting just one more glance back at what looked like a perfectly ordinary little piece of wood. A minute later, Wally was bent over a box by the far wall away from where they'd entered and shouted, "Got it!"
Gar jogged over to where he was and saw Kid Flash trying to delicately wrestle free from the bottom box of three what looked like a dark green bazooka with some extra dials and brackets. Finally he had it free and slowly raised it up to shoulder level.
"That's it?" asked Beast Boy skeptically. "The . . the fat ray gun?"
"That's it," said Kid Flash and he removed a sheet of paper held to the long muzzle of the thing by an elastic. "The instructions," he said brandishing the sheet in front of Gar and then handing the device to Beast Boy who inspected it. The thing had some heft. It must've weighed 45 or 50 pounds. And it had knobs and dials all over it, it seemed.
"Hey, what's this for," he asked, pointing a black dial with a white indicator arrow that could be cranked either counter clockwise toward an "A" or clockwise toward a "P". Kid Flash looked at the instructions. They seemed to be pretty detailed, with something about all the other dials, buttons and knobs, but nothing about that one. He shrugged. "I don't know. Nothing happens till we go through what the instructions call the 'activation sequence' anyway. It's harmless till then."
Beast Boy nodded. The dial was set almost to the "A". He turned it almost to the "P" just to get the feel of the dial.
"Come on. Let's go out back, away from any of this dangerous stuff," said Kid Flash and he did the same say his voice into the wall thereby making a door appear trick on the wall away from the one through which they entered. When the door opened, Kid Flash led Beast Boy, carrying the ray gun, onto a loading dock area at the back of the building. There was a big paved area in front of a handful of bays at which big trucks could unload things and a few parking spaces of on the edges. But the area wasn't completely industrial looking. There was some nice lawn at the edge of it where sprinklers on timers had started spraying.
Kid Flash took a deep breath. This was closer to actually happening. God. He ran his red gloved hands down his sides. He took another deep breath.
"You really don't want to do this, do you?" asked Beast Boy.
Kid Flash sighed. "Doesn't matter. I have to do it to stop him. What if it takes Cy a couple days to figure out how to zap him out of me? Should we just let him run around using my body another couple days?
Beast Boy thought of Red X, using Kid Flash's body, having sex with Raven. He shook his head vigorously.
Kid Flash positioned Beast Boy 40 feet from the edge of the pavement, zipped over to where he would stand and then back beside Beast Boy. He read off the instructions and then he and Beast Boy, resting the bazooka like device on his shoulder, pressed the buttons and set the dials in the prescribed sequence. After three steps, the thing made a high pitched sound and then came to life with a deep humming sound and a slight vibration.
Kid Flash read off two more lines of instructions and he and Beast Boy set the indicated dials. The hum grew more prominent and the vibrations stronger. Kid Flash read the last line of instruction but told Beast Boy to wait till he was in place 40 feet away before doing it.
"But . . how long of a blast am I supposed to give you?"
Kid Flash zipped back to the spot by the curb at the side of the loading area. The timed sprinklers hissed away behind him. He shrugged. "I don't really know. I think Flash said he got like a three or four second burst when he got it. Give me three seconds."
Beast Boy nodded. Kid Flash sighed. But despite the resolute face he was presenting to Gar, inside he was screaming, what am I doing?! Red X talking to him in the back of his mind trying to convince him not to do it helped keep him going.
You don't want to do this, man! Make this sleek body fat?! This is a universal close the deal body, West. You can close the deal with anyone with this body. You don't want to be fat. You hate fat. I know you do. You're almost like-you're almost like Howard Hughes with germs, you with fat. Don't do it!
"Okay," shouted Kid Flash. "Now, turn the green, sequence completiion dial all the way clockwise so that the indicator arrow goes from the empty circle symbol to the full circle symbol."
Beast Boy did as instructed. The bazooka looking thing with extra brackets and dials really hummed now. The shape shifter leveled the ray gun on his shoulder and aimed it at Kid Flash. He looked to his pal. Kid Flash took a deep breath and nodded. Beast Boy grabbed the trigger and squeezed. For three seconds, a yellowish green light issued forth from the bazooka muzzle of the thing and washed over Kid Flash. It seemed like no time at all to Beast Boy.
To Kid Flash, it seemed like an eternity, first of all because he was a speedster and could do things in such tiny slivers of time that it was like he could slow down time. But also because he was practically allergic to fat. He had been the skinniest boy in school even before becoming Kid Flash. After that, he added some muscle but had scarcely an ounce of fat on him. His whole life became about the ease of motion, about barely seeming tethered to the planet by gravity at all. All his friends were super athletes in fantastic shape. And while terribly embarassed to be wearing a skin tight Kid Flash suit when he was 11 and 12 and 13 years old, he was now almost 19, more muscular, and proud of the way he looked. He wasn't an exhibitionist about it but he thought his ultra toned condition, the opposite of fat, the complete absence of fat, was what a person should aspire to be. He was polite to overweight citizens he met. He did everything he could to save them just the same as he would have to protect Jinx or Gar or Garth. But it just ran counter to the grain of everything in him. It was like a low level allergy. It didn't send you into shock. It didn't always make you sneeze. But you didn't like to be around it.
In those three seconds, while yellowish green light washed over him, Kid Flash stood with every muscle in his body tensed in fear and revulsion barely able to keep a lid on his overwhelming desire to sprint away from it, to not let it happen.
Only when the seemingly hour long three seconds had ended and the deep hum of the fat ray gun had stopped did he realize that he'd been gasping, in terror, on the verge of hyperventilating. He was petrified, every muscle flexed in terror at what was going to happen to him. Slowly, he opened one squinting eye a little wider as nothing seemed to be happening. He saw Beast Boy put the fat ray gun down on the ground. But . . . he wasn't fat. He slowed his breath. His skin felt a bit weird all over his body. It was itchy but he was terrified to scratch himself. Then it felt as though he was sweating, but not quite. It felt as though his pores were open but he wasn't hot. He wasn't sweating. Was something else was going on?
But after a few seconds more, he decided, to his intense relief, that it hadn't worked.
He hadn't gotten fat. He hadn't been turned into a blimp by the odd yellow green ray. Good! Good! It was a mistake, he now felt that it'd definitely been a mistake. The idea of being turned incredibly fat was so loathsome to him that he'd only been able to go through with it by thinking of it as a concept, as an idea. I'll immobilize myself. That had been the phrasing he used with himself. The idea of being fat was repellent to the teen speedster. So he felt a sigh of relief that the process hadn't worked on him. They'd just have to think of something else. They-
That's when the sounds started, sounds like someone making balloon animals at a kid's birthday party, the squeak of rubber being stretched.
Flash suits weren't made of rubber or of spandex. The material was something super stretchy invented by Flash which felt and sort of looked like something half way between rubber and spandex. When stretched, as when he first pulled it on, a suit might make a noise like that. But after they were on they didn't stretch much more and no one ever heard those sounds
"Dude, what's that sound?" asked Beast Boy as he stepped closer.
Kid Flash looked down just as his thighs suddenly expanded outward an inch.
"No!" he yelped and stepped to the side with one boot to accomodate his increasingly thunderous thighs. But the birthday party ballon animal sounds continured and Beast Boy almost snickered at the way Kid Flash's eyes went wide as he reached back of himself.
"Oh no," he barely more than squeaked. Beast Boy took a few steps forward and saw two amazing sights. One was the way Kid Flash's backside was expanding. The other was the water. All the water from the timed sprinklers that had been just sort of fizzing about above the lawn now seemed to be flying through the air toward Kid Flash.
He saw Gar looking at him and realized how wimpy he'd sounded. He tried to compose himself. As he looked down he saw the definition of his abs, the six squares under the yellow of the top of his uniform and two more under the red fade. He saw his lower abdomen, in the red of his suit just under his waist slowly swell outward. This wasn't entirely bad, he tried to console himself. The bulge of his package had always been too prominent. Just the week before, the Titans had gone to a morning meeting at the office of the mayor of Jump City. Seeing them all in the outer room next to the mayor's office, a secretary had asked if they'd like her to get them something to eat. Jinx joked that "Kid Flash'll be fine. He smuggled half a grapefruit in here with him," nodding down toward . .
The secretary had blushed and, thankfully, said nothing.
But this didn't stop at a little paunch. To Kid Flash's ongoing horror, he kept getting bigger and bigger, fatter and fatter. His paunch expanded to a gut and then just kept expanding. He pushed at it with red gloved hands, almost wishing, belatedly, to push this fat off him only to realize that that was impossible and to see, as he was doing so that even his arms were fattening up tremendously. After a few seconds more, he lifted them both to look at them. They were heavy. And rolls of fat hung down from them.
He couldn't see his crotch any more. He couldn't even see his feet his chest was a saggy mess. His whole upper body looked like a yellow mud slide and he kept getting fatter.
Even his fingers were fattening now, becoming ridiculously stubby and sausage like. He felt his neck and face stretching, bulging out, sagging, getting hopelessly fat and reached up with his sausage fingers to find that he now had multiple chins and that he no longer had a clearly defined neck, not to any outward appearances. The fat of his upper body just kept going up to his head. And still he kept getting fatter.
He could feel his butt continuing to expand back of him, the whole time, but by the time he tried to reach back there again, he found, to his horror, that he couldn't. He had so much fat on his back that his larded up arms couldn't get it.
His skin ached. It was incredibly sore. And he was realizing something else that he'd forgotten about when planning this out as just a concept, just an idea, the incredible tug of all this weight. He felt like a giant with a thousand people pulling down at him with ropes, like Gulliver being attacked by the lilliputians. Only this wasn't going to end. He couldn't swat some ropes away and relieve the incredible downward pull.
He could barely maintain his balance. The slightest change in how he stood and all of a sudden it felt like another tremendous tug downward pulled at him. It didn't help that he felt like he didn't fatten consistently, porking up here then there so that he swayed slightly back and forth tll finally, he felt his butt expand some more and then stop and he looked down at the the grotesque specatcle of his own body and muttered, "What'd I do?"
He pawed at the rolls of fat that cascaded to his mid section. It was him. He could feel the touch of his fat gloved fingers pressing his uniform against the skin underneath. It was him. It was part of him. He barely suppressed a reflex to vomit. He remembered kids in junior high gym class playing a game with this three foot diameter bouncy ball. His own gut looked like he'd eaten one of those balls. He started gasping in horror again, and again nearly hyperventilated. If Red X had been right about him and fat being like Howard Hughes and germs, then this was like Howard Hughes diving into a vat of germs and them being stuck to him.
He looked up and saw Gar staring at him, the wide eyed incredulous look on his face.
"Oh my god, Wally," he gasped. "I can't believe what it did to you."
Kid Flash tried to walk over to the Museum loading bay. The level where the trucks backed up was about three feet lower than the level where workers would unload things from the back of trucks. It would give him something to lean on. But the effort just to get one foot off the ground was incredible and his thighs blocked each other, not to mention that his giant gut hung down and rested on them, too.
"Unnh . . " he lifted one foot and barely shuffled it forward.
"Unnh . . " he lifted the other and barely moved it, too. His balance was off. His weight felt not only enormous but also bizarrely distributed. And when he moved, he felt huge parts of him jiggling, rolls of his fat sliding and sloshing about.
He felt disgusting and inhuman.
"Gar! Please! Help get me over to the loading bay rise so I can lean on that."
Gar helped, holding onto one hand but it was still an incredible effort that left him almost winded and it had only been 20 feet away.
"Wally, du-hude. You would not believe your booty right now," said his shape shifter pal after stepping away from him, "like two of those swiss exercise balls, the biggest ones like Cy uses."
Kid Flash grunted angrily at Gar feeling he had to tell him this. He couldn't see or even reach his butt. This was a frickign nightmare. It was hard just to remain standing blimped out like this even when getting to lean on one bizarrely fattened hand.
"Well, I think I can definitely say that we've immobilized Red X when he takes over my body in an hour or so," he noted bitterly.
Gar looked around for a mirror to show Wally what he now looked like but realized that was a silly expectation for a loading dock. But there was another way. "Flip open your communicator, dude. I'll walk around you and let you see what you look like.
Kid Flash hesitated. Maybe it was better not to know. "Could you just make the call to Cyborg?"
"Wally. If you don't see how big you are, you'll never believe it."
"Gar! I'm carrying all this lard now!" he said pushing at the rolls of fat at his side. "This lard is me!"
"Yeah, but you can't even see half yourself," argued Gar
Kid Flash glanced down and realized he coudn't see any of the red of the lower half of his uniform. "Fine," sighed Kid Flash. He coudn't stop him anyway. He retrieved his communicator from under his glove as Gar walked around him. So humiliating. God.
But then he looked at the images of himself, the footage that Gar had just taken and nearly threw up in his mouth. He was a grotesque caricature of a human being. His whole yellow clad upper body was the shape of a hershey's kiss. His face was disgustingly puffed out and sagging. He had several chins and his chest was astoundingly saggy. Worst of all was his butt. His upper body was disgusting his butt was something beyond that. "Biggest booty ever," Gar had snickered taking footage of it. It didn't even seem possible. Could all that really be him?!?
"Just call Cy, Gar. Please."
Beast Boy dialed on his communicator and Kid Flash let out a sigh. We call Cy. He comes here in the T-Jet and brings us back to the Tower. He figures out how to separate me and Red X. I sauna all this lard off me. Cy zaps me. I see if I can patch things up with Jinx.
Kid Flash had just finished running this sequence through his head when he suddenly noticed Gar's communicator practically shoved in his face.
CAN'T LEAVE NOW. THE IMPOSSIBLE TO REACH DR. SZEBO WHO IVE BEEN TRYING TO MEET FOR 5 YEARS IS HERE EXPLAINING NEW ROBOTICS THEORIES. SEE YOU TOMORROW. I RELAYED YOUR MESSAGE ASKING FOR A T-JET TO EAST. --CY
"East?!" squeaked Kid Flash looking down at himself and suddenly recalling the image that Gar had shown him of his massive butt. "East is gonna see me like this?! I"m disgusting!"
He momentarily considered running and hiding but realized he could barely walk never mind run and what could he hide behind, a building? A steamship?
"Fuck!" he groaned. The worst part is that he couldn't be mad at Cy. Cy didn't know he'd turned himself into a lardass. And he'd been trying to talk to that Dr. Szebo for years about his theories of robotics. It was very important for Cy.
But, East?! When he looked like this?! He could barely stand to look at himself. He projected his own complete disgust onto the twins, his speedster proteges! And Garth! Oh god. How would they regard him afterward when they'd seen him in such repugnant condition. He didn't want to be seen like this. But after glancing around quickly, as if hoping to somehow see a way out of this and feeling his several chins swaying back and forth, he realized there was no way out. He sank bank agaisnt the edge of loading dock, his massive bulk flattening against the concrete.
A minute later, the telltale whoosh of a T-Jet filled the air of the loading area behind the Flash Museum and East's T-Jet touched down. The engines cut out and the entrance ramp extended. Mas and Menos zipped out and stopped 10 feet from him, staring. He just barely stopped himself from saying something to them. Please don't be sickened by my appearance.
And then they fell to the ground laughing.
They pointed at their now gargantuan mentor and laughed till their eyes teared. They laughed so hard they clutched their sides in pain. And then they zipped around behind him and fell down laughing again at the view from there.
And then Speedy stepped down from the T-Jet and had to steady himself on the wing he was laughing so hard at Kid Flash. Mas zipped around from of him again, still laughing. Menos ran in front of his suddenly lardasssed mentor and made a motion like they'd seen Kid Flash do, an imitatiion of buffing fingernails on a lapel
"Muchacho mos gordo," he stammered out between guffaws and he and Mas ended up falling on the ground convulsed in laughter again.
"Yeah, yeah. Fattest boy alive. Very funny, Menos."
"Du-haha-dude? What happened to you?" laughed Speedy as he doubled over with laughter.
"Gar asked about what had made Flash fat once before and I showed him the ray gun. It wasn't supposed to be loaded."
"You look like you're a bit loaded," snickered a grinning Bee as she exited the T-Jet followed by a shocked Aqualad. "Maybe double stuffed. How is that suit not exploding? How much do you weigh?"
Kid Flash gritted his teeth. He didn't want to know. He didn't want anyone else to know.
"Yeah," laughed Speedy. "Just how much do you weigh, Precious?"
He, Mas and Menos fell over laughing at this, too.
Aqualad and Bee stepped past them, but even Aqualad was smiling, trying to suppress a laugh.
"You too, Garth?"
Aqualad strode around surveying the enormous red and yellow clad former speedster. "Well, you have to admit that it's ironic to the point of being risible, Wallace. You, the very archtype of slender energy somehow turned into the largest, widest person any of us have ever seen. Is-is that really all you?" he asked reaching forward and patting Kid Flash's hemispherical gut.
"Yeah, that's not one of those sumo suits, is it?" snickered Speedy going behind Kid Flash and giving him a hard slap one one side of his enormous behind.
"Ow! Don't do that. My skin just expanded a few minutes ago."
Bee was front and center now, smiling and shaking her head. "You're sure it wasn't that huge appetite of yours finally catching up with you?"
"I'm not fat because I eat a lot."
"No. He's just big boned," cracked Speedy causing him, Mas and Menos to fall down laughing again.
Kid Flash groaned.
"So, let me get this straight," said Bee quite enjoying herself. "The guy who beat me out to run against Robin for overall Titans leadership accidentally shot you with a ray gun that turned you into the boy with the most junk in his trunk of anyone on earth. Is that right?"
"It was just an accident," defended Kid Flash before Beast Boy said anything.
"Well, let's just see how much of an accident it was," she said and grabbed a hold of one red gloved hand. "Oh my god, even your hands are completely larded up. Come on now," she said and started leading Kid Flash along slowly. He wasn't sure what she was getting at. At first he thought she was challenging that it was an accident when she said 'how much of an accident it was'. He didn't want to reveal to her what was really going on. But then he saw that she was leading him, in his arduous shuffling steps to a freight scale at one side of the loading dock.
"No! Come on. It doesn't matter how much I weigh now."
But Bee was clever. She saw that he could barely move and that his balance was extremely precarious. Just a little more tug forward added more momentum then he could resist. She gave him another small tug and the reluctant former speedster found himself standing on the freight scale used to weigh deliveries.
The red digital display whirred away, the numbers changing too rapidly for the others to focus on. Kid Flash tried to shuffle off the scale before it gave a reading but Speedy poked him in his giant gut as he started to move, "Stay there, Kid Fat", and that little force was too much for him to overcome.
At last, the display steadied.
Bee, Speedy, Mas and Menos burst into laughter and even Aqualad and Beast Boy couldn't help but smirk. A thousand pounds!
And finally, with a little electronic bell signalling that this was it, 1,003 pounds.
Kid Flash weighed 1003 pounds.