WHAT?!? Another Royai fic!? Yep. Anyway, I suppose you could call this a parallel of "Snow!" Meaning that it will be similar situation wise. I don't know what I'm talking about, just read it… _

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal alchemist or its characters.

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Humidity was an enemy that needed to be eliminated at all costs, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye thought as she frowned at her reflection in the mirror. She did not like to take overly long to get ready in the morning, and she certainly did not normally fuss over her appearance, however today was different. For three weeks Breda and Colonel Mustang had been away at Eastern Command on assignment. In the mean time she, Havoc, Furey, and Farman had been left to hold down the fort at central. She had heard that the assignment the colonel had been on had gone unpleasantly and that he had been irritable the entire time. When she had spoken to him over the phone he had seemed happy enough, perhaps a bit tired, but nothing else out of the ordinary.

Riza sighed at the horrible disarray that was her hair and quickly brushed through it a fifth time. How in the world could there be so much frizz? In the end she gave up and threw it into the tightest bun that she could manage. It would have to do. As Riza tossed on her uniform she instantly regretted it; the heavy fabric made the already unbearable summer heat even worse. She shook her head and called for her dog, Black Hayate, to follow her out the door. Complaining about the heat would not make the sun shine any less persistent.

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Riza was, unexpectedly, not the first one at the office. In fact, of their team, she was the last to arrive. She frowned inwardly, wondering if she had actually spent more time than she had thought worrying over her hair. The halls of Central Headquarters seemed much more busy than usual, and though it was clear that work was being completed there seemed to be a light-hearted air about the place. That should have been her first warning.

Outside of Colonel Mustang's office Havoc, Furey and Farman were whispering to Breda in a secluded corner. "He really did that?" She heard Furey ask in a hushed tone. Breda nodded solemnly. "Poor colonel…"

"It is these times more than any that we must show our support for the colonel," said Farman and the others chorused in agreement.

Riza bridled her first instinct to creep back to where they would not be able to see her so that she could listen in. Even though she was the colonel's closest aide she had been told none of the details for his assignment. Instead, she marched directly behind their group and made a show of adjusting her holster.

"Really," she said as she saw their mortified faces, "if you all have time to stand around and gossip than you must have already completed a considerable amount of work."

"Actually Lieutenant," Farman interjected, "we have done all of today's work and tomorrow's along with it."

"Yep, we've got everything covered, you might as well just take it easy for the rest of the day," Havoc added with a thumb up. She couldn't help cocking an eyebrow at his tone.

"Very ambitious, keep up the good work," Riza told them as she continued on past the doors to the colonel's private office. She wondered just what had gotten into them. Usually she had to hound after the others for days to get their work done.

That should have been her next warning.

However, the second she spotted Mustang Riza froze and forgot about every other concern. The sunlight that slanted through the open window set his entire profile ablaze. From his spiky raven hair down to his expertly polished boots he seemed to radiate greatness. He stood there like a living statue watching the city below, and Riza had to remind herself to breathe normally. The look on his face was unreadable but something about the firm set of his eyes made her heart leap. That was nothing out of the ordinary, though Riza did not think that she would ever have the strength to admit it. Something was troubling the colonel, she could tell. Of all her abilities the one Riza valued most was her tendency for knowing when the colonel needed her. This was most definitely one of those times.

With a few brisk steps Riza was at the colonel's side, and she looked out the window to see what exactly he had been watching. She would not invade his privacy by asking. Whatever Mustang had on his mind he would have to come to her of his own free will. She would wait as long as it took. Some might call her stubborn as an insult but she liked to think of it as an asset. After a short time the colonel began to speak, though he still did not look at her. "Lieutenant….," he said in a low, ominous voice, "I have something very important to ask you, and you must answer honestly. Could you ever picture me in a dress, dancing with another man?" For one of the few times in her life Riza was at a true and complete loss of words. She couldn't think, let alone speak. Then when the colonel finally did turn to her he lost his former regal composer and put on a pitiful face. "Please for my sanity just answer the question Hawkeye. My manhood is at stake!"

She realized then that she was not meant to understand and she faced him directly. "You would make a very beautiful woman," she told him with a salute. "I will continue to follow and respect you!"

"Lieutenant," he whined in an anguished tone, "you're getting it all wrong…"

"Sir, I would assume it has something to do with the assignment you were on in the East, correct?"

"Yes… you could say that." The colonel slumped down into his plush chair and rubbed his face with his hand. Riza rolled her eyes but still pat him on his shoulder consolingly. It was not her intention to permanently damage his ego, just to prod it a bit.

"Perhaps I was out of line with my teasing, sir. Do you want to talk about what happened?" The colonel looked up at her and began to speak but was cut off by an outburst from the outside corridor.

"YOU HAVE PICTURES!?! Go get them!" Riza guessed the voice belonged to Havoc, and less than a minute later there was a horrible explosion of laughter.

The colonel thrust himself from his seat, a look of murder on his face. Riza's suspicions were confirmed when he slipped his famous ignition gloves over his hands. "We'll resume this later Lieutenant, I have something to obliterate at this time."

Riza crossed her arms and took the seat that the colonel had previously occupied. The chair still held Mustang's body heat, and despite the terrible warmth of the day Riza still relaxed against it. She smiled, but it was a sorrowful one. This was about as close as she could safely come to being embraced by him.

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Colonel Roy Mustang was more than prepared to kill. He would not allow any evidence of that incident to remain in existence. In the corner he could hear his "followers" laughing and jeering over what had likely been the most traumatic experience of his adult life. "Look!" Chortled Havoc, "There's even one where he's being felt up! See his expression, it's priceless!"

"Breda, Havoc," Roy said as calmly as he could with his hand out stretched, "give them here." The men complied without missing a beat. He thought he should at least be grateful that they knew when to give in, because had they not there would have been hell to pay. A thought occurred to him then as he took in their guarded faces. "Where are the other copies?"

Breda held up his hands in defense. "Sir I swear those are the only ones." Roy narrowed his eyes at the men. Something was off, but he couldn't quite place what. Furey, who had before been cowering, shifted his attention to the space behind Roy.

"Lieutenant!" He said hastily. "We were just giving the Colonel some documents he wanted. Nothing interesting at all here. Nothing to laugh about. Nope there's-" Roy stepped on Furey's foot to stop any more unnecessary comments. Before anyone could protest he tossed the offending photos into a near-by waste basket and burned them.

"Go back to the hell from whence you sprang," Roy muttered to the cinders. He looked back at the others. "Carry on with your duties."

"Actually sir," said Farman, "it's like we told the Lieutenant Hawkeye earlier; there's nothing for us to do, we're completely caught up and there have been no calls for assignments today."

"No doubt everyone is too caught up in the festival air to want to commit any crimes," Roy mused aloud, and he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "A week long celebration, huh. They really are going all out for this. I've heard some very favorable reports about the entertainment; there are supposed to be a great number of beautiful women coming from all over Amstris." A worried look passed between the other male officers and Roy glanced at Hawkeye to see if she had any idea as to why they were so worked up. She shrugged, and Roy knew to be alarmed when something perplexed the lieutenant. It was a very bad sign when she was out of the loop. "Out with it, what's going on."

"Well, you know how all of the military officers are given leave during the festival time, except for the two names the higher-ups pull out of a hat?" Furey asked. Roy nodded, and it was then that the alarm bells began to go off in his head.

"You don't mean…"

"We deeply regret your misfortune Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye!" The group saluted in unison. "We wish you a sucessful completion of this assignment!" Every year the summer festival in honor of the founding of Amstris was held. The celebration was long and extravagant, a display of all the power the country had accumulated in its time. Though all military personal were given off the time during the festival there were volunteer police members to keep order for the entire event. Those men and women reported to a temporary command center where all the goings on of the festival would be coordinated. That left Central Headquarters to become a ghost building. However, due to the fact that many sensitive files were kept in the Central Headquarters every year two officers would be picked to essentially baby sit the place. So the choosing would be unbiased all names of officers, from privates to generals, were placed in the hat. Roy gave Hawkeye a defeated stare and she, in turn, appeared as if she was unaffected by the news.

"Well what are we waiting for lieutenant, you and I need to do some packing."

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A/N: There we go that's a good enough start! I really hope you guys like this one, I want to pull out all the stops for Royai-ness ^_^

Please, I beg of you, let me know what I can do to improve my writing, if I sound too dry or if I ramble on to much. Just throw a metaphorical rock at me. Or a cookie.