This is the result of absolute boredom. Yukimura's a bit older in this story, just so you know.

Edit: sh4dee pointed out something I hadn't even noticed (for which I'm grateful): the similarities between this and "Drive D" by fireylight. I'd like to note that this was coincidental, and also recommend you to her story. :)


"Driving is an art form that must be done with great precision," the driving instructor said calmly. "It's not something to be taken lightly. People's lives are at stake here, and you must take everything into careful consideration.

"I would like to introduce your talented assistant teacher, Yukimura Seiichi."

The ethereally beautiful tennis player gave the class a wave. "My name is Yukimura Seiichi. Please don't call me sensei; it makes me sound awfully old. Yukimura will do fine."

The class chorused an acknowledgement, and the instructor began talking about the basic rules of driving. Yukimura watched intently, his head propped up against one arm and smiling serenely.

Driving was such an intriguingthing. He'd taught himself how to drive, simply because he wouldn't bear the humiliation of having someone else teach him. As the Demigod, he was expected to just sort of know certain things.

Like the way he just knew how to cook (even though he put his teammates in the hospital for two weeks after that).

Like the way he just knew how to style and design (even though he ended up making Akaya cross-dress).

Like the way he just knew how to be a camp counselor (even though he unintentionally traumatized five children and temporarily rid them of their senses).

Okay, so maybe his techniques weren't always entirely conventional. But he put his own spin on things, and nobody could really critique him for that.


Finally, it was time to drive. The instructor said, "We'll be taking trips. There will be five students per car, and we'll go one car at a time. Yukimura here will be driving, and the students will take turns. Muromachi, Kaguya, Jun, Kuragi, and Rin will go first. The rest of you will stay behind and take more notes on driving. When those students get back, the next five will drive with Yukimura. Understood?"

The students nodded.

"Let's get started then," Yukimura said warmly, and ushered the five students into the car. He drove quietly to the exit. "The first thing you do when you begin to drive is—"

He stopped abruptly, waiting for a student's answer.

Jun raised his hand. "We put on our seatbelts and check the rearview mirror."

Yukimura frowned. "Who taught you that? No, no. The first thing you do is turn on the radio to your favorite station. We don't need to put on our seatbelts. Those are for the lunatics who are too frightened to drive like a man." At that, he turned on the radio.

"Get ready," he said in that gentle voice of his. The students smiled and nodded.

"Oka-ahhhhh!"

Yukimura shot out of the driveway. "Driving is an art!" he called over the screams of his passengers. "For example, you can draw pictures with your car by driving really quickly."

He made an abrupt right, then an abrupt left, then a small U-turn. This repeated for about two minutes, until he shot off again. Behind his wake were the words RikkaiDai For the Win.

"Please, slow down Yukimura-san!" a student pleaded.

"Why?" he asked, his eyes fixed on the road ahead of him. "You must understand that driving isn't about driving."

The students were too busy fearing for their lives to truly hear what he said, so Yukimura elaborated.

"Driving is about completely crushing your opponents using all possible means, including emotional and physical states," he said casually, and made another abrupt turn. "For example, you can effectively scare the wits out of your opponent by doing a backflip with your car."

His face practically glowed. "Allow me to demonstrate."

With that, he bounced off of the car in front of him and miraculously did three flips in a row, before landing on another car and doing it all over again.

The students thought they were going to hurl.

"Look, a highway!" Yukimura said cheerily. "Now I can show you how to cause a car crash!"


The director of the school stared dubiously at Yukimura's approved application. He glanced at his young intern. "He's already working here, you say?"

"Yes, sir. Today was his first day."

"And he drove today."

"Yes, sir."

"We have about twenty lawsuits filed against us, thanks to Yukimura. He caused thirteen car crashes and nearly killed all of Japan's pedestrians."

"I know."

"…Who approved of his application?"

"I did, sir."

"According to his application, he's barely a year older than the students here. He got his license revoked thirteen times for reckless driving, and he's well-known for crushing his opponents in tennis. He put 'destroying civilians' mental states' as a hobby."

"I know, sir."

"Fuji Syusuke, why in the world would you approve his application?"

The brown haired boy tilted his head to the side and smiled sweetly.

"Saa…"