X-posted to my livejournal as well as the BigSlashTheory comm on livejournal.

All characters belong to NBC and Chuck Lorre, I'm merely toying with them for my own amusement.

Warning, mentions of slashy situations. The last line has been changed from the original as I deemed it too graphic for this site. If you would like to read the original in it's entirety you may find the link to my livejournal as well as the link to the story in my profile. Pairings included are a one-sided Howard/Leonard, and Howard/Raj. Mentions of Sheldon/Leonard, as well as Penny/Leonard and Penny/Leonard/Sheldon.


Howard knew it - whatever it was - was ending. Leonard had moved in with that weirdo Sheldon and he was still stuck at home with his overbearing mother. The looks Leonard gave the taller man, ones that showed admiration even when he was annoyed sent early warning bells to the engineer. When he spent the night with Leonard, their make out sessions didn't seem to be as much fun for the spectacled man. Howard knew it was slowing down, and any attempts to save it were made in vain.

Eventually it ended, a box of opened condoms appeared in their medicine cabinet one day, telling Howard it was over in ways words never would.

A year later, Penny moved into the apartment next door and quickly thwarted the plans that Howard had been making to recover the 'thing' he'd had with Leonard. He changed tatics, advancing on Penny in hopes that it would piss off Leonard into a jealous rage. That plan backfired when he realized that Penny was capable of deterring any of his advances and Leonard wasn't about to have the backbone to suddenly protect what wasn't yet his.

His plans were completely trashed when Penny advanced on both of her neighbors, involving them in a relationship that was cemented together with no signs of cracking in sight.

Ultimately, he made the decision of turning to Raj. The darker man had proven to be an excellent friend, so in theory advancing their already very close friendship made sense. The Indian was interested, leaving no room for Howard to change his mind. Their relationship worked and never seemed to be awkward.

So why was it that even when the two were cuddling on Raj's couch, a dark warm hand resting on his hip, did he feel a gaping hole?