Disclaimer: Yes, yes. We know I don't own Harry Potter.

Unless, of course, you can't read … this is a pervy!Draco fic. No slash. Mostly dialogue.


"Draco?" Blaise gasped, utterly shocked to find his best friend crouched at the doorway to one of the classrooms on the fourth floor, his ear pressed against the door. "What the hell are you doing here!?"

"Shh…" Draco hissed, grabbing Blaise's wrist and yanking him down to his level. "Be quiet and listen."

"Merlin, Harry," Blaise heard as he squashed his ear against the door. He recognised the voice as Ginny's. "Just put the thing in!"

"Where the hell am I supposed to put it!? I've never done this before, and you know it," Harry argued hotly, letting out a frustrated grunt. Blaise shot Draco a wide-eyed look, to which Draco smirked, mouthing "we can use this later."

"You make it sound so damn complicated," Ginny grumbled. "Just take hold of the thing and shove it in."

"Yes, but where?" Harry groaned.

"I'm getting pretty fucking bored, Potter," Ginny snarled. "You're taking forever."

"Then you do it yourself!"

"I can't reach all the way around there, and then use both my hands," Ginny argued.

"Then do it one-handed," Harry suggested, and Draco heard the sound of a desk being pushed out of the way. Blaise snickered.

"Argh, hurry it up!" Ginny sighed, exasperated.

"Then you do it," Harry cried.

"I'm not doing it, Harry. It's yours, you should at least know how to position the darn thing so it fits." Draco bit down on his knuckles to keep from laughing.

"Well, if the spot wasn't so darn small," Harry argued.

"My God, just shove it the fuck in already," Ginny grumbled.

"I can't."

"Ease up and give it here, Potter," Ginny finally sighed, and they heard shuffling. "I'll put the darn thing where it's supposed to go."

Blaise held up three fingers, to which Draco nodded enthusiastically. Lowering a finger, Blaise mouthed '2'. Draco murmured, "One," before flinging the door open and strolling inside.

"Well, well, well … What do we have here?" Draco drawled, taking in the room, strewn with one set of girls' robes and a girls' cardigan, before landing his eyes on the couple in the corner, pressed close together, fumbling with the clasp of a necklace.

"See? Wasn't that easy?" Ginny huffed, slipping back on her robes and slinging her cardigan over her arms and trudging into the corridor, past a frozen Head Boy and his best friend.

"How was I supposed to know that you just fit the hook in there," Harry griped, striding past Draco and Blaise to join his girlfriend in the hall, the latter of which sporting a tiny, blue charm around her neck.

"Well, damn, that was stupid," Blaise hissed, stomping away from Draco.


A/N: Yes, I know… Stupid, much? ): I was seriously tormented. And I don't want to study for my History test.