So. My DCMK plunnies aren't totally dead :D

One day I was listening to the song Angel w/a Shotgun and I was like "whoa this would make an awesome Ran AMV!" (cause Vermouth calls her Angel) but my laptop is a piece of shit that I can barely do anything on let alone make AMVs so I combined the idea with the various Destiel vids I'd been watching because Dean and Cas and Sam are my babies and there are so many good vids out there *whines* oh and Gabriel

GABRIEL MY DARLING *SOBS* and oh holy shit i just got the coolest idea for a DCMK/SPN fusion holy shit ENJOY THE ONESHOT

Angel with a Shotgun

Word Count: 694

Rating: T

This is how it ends, Kaito thought numbly. Not Koizumi or prison or Snake; a crazy American with a shotgun.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" The dark blond man cocked his gun. "Look, it's a good thing you're returning the stuff you steal, but you've gotta move on before we make you!"

"Uh Dean, he might not speak English," the taller man said quietly, laying a hand on the other's shoulder.

"No, no, I can speak some English," Kaito quickly informed them.

"Well then, you know that you should pass on," the taller man said softly, kindly even. "My brother's kinda trigger happy and you seem like a peaceful person, so it'd be best if we could end this without violence."

"Pass on?" Kaito asked, bewildered. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh great," Dean muttered. "He doesn't know he's dead."

"What?" Kaito blurted. "I am not dead!"

"I know it's a shock," the tall man said in a soothing tone. "What's the last thing you can remember before tonight?"

Kaito eyed the two a little dubiously, but hey, they weren't shooting, so maybe he could still get out of this unscathed. "Before tonight? I had dinner," he told them.

"A car accident of some sort?" the tall man theorized.

"Or maybe a mugging," Dean replied. "Doesn't look like he's got any wounds though. And he shows up in a whole bunch of different places, no real consistent haunting pattern..."

"Wait wait wait." Kaito held up his hands in a gesture for them to stop talking. "You think... you actually think I'm a ghost?"

"Well, that's what you're called," the tall man said.

"Yeah, but it's just a name!" Kaito said, his tone incredulous. "Kami-sama, you Americans and your ideas!"

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being American!" Dean protested.


"Shush Sam, let me do the talking here." Kaito snickered slightly. "Now listen up here, what's-"

Dean never finished his sentence because he suddenly went flying courtesy of a kick to the back from one karateka.

"Mouri-chan?" Kaito squeaked as the girl quickly dispatched Sam.

"Damn it, what the hell-" Dean had recovered himself and was standing up, his shotgun pointed at Ran while his gaze wavered between him and his brother's prone figure. "Who are you?"

"I think the more fitting question would be 'Why are you here?'." Ran glared at him and crossed her arms. "Where's Castiel?"

Dean gave a start at the name. "What? How do you-"

"Call him here before I have to," Ran ordered quietly.


Kaito stifled a yelp as suddenly there was a guy in a trench coat right next to him and how did he do that?

"Castiel, what are your hunters doing in my territory?" the girl glared at trench coat. "This is not your's or their jurisdiction."

"Cas, who the hell is she?" Dean blurted, looking from person to person before his gaze went back to his brother. "Sam. Sammy!" He gently kicked at him.

"Jesus!" Sam flinched back. "What the-" He sat up, looking from Ran to Castiel. "When did Cas-"

"She is one of my sisters," Castiel explained.

"Wait, she's an angel?" Dean asked incredulously.

"An angel?" Kaito inquired. "My, Mouri-chan, I didn't know you were that pure~"

"Trout, salmon, walleye," Ran replied coolly. She ignored the resulting whimper from Kaito's direction. "I know where you live KID-san, don't make me break my truce with Koizumi-san."

"You know her?" Kaito blurted.

Ran turned her attention back to Castiel. "Please keep your hunters out."

"They were working on a tip. I'm not their babysitter," Castiel replied.

"Yes, well when your charges threaten my charge's human boyfriend, there is certainly a conflict of interests."

"Wha-?!" Kaito squeaked. "Mouri-chan, you know that me and tantei-kun aren't really-"

"I grew up with him KID-san, you think I wouldn't realize his situation?" Ran smiled sweetly at the magician, who swallowed rather loudly.

"Does he know you-"

"No, and if you wish your life to be fish-free you'll keep it that way."

"Yes ma'am."

"It's not our fault we thought he was a ghost! The name was misleading."

"Americans," Ran muttered.

"That's what I said!" Kaito nodded in agreement.

Also I have a headcanon that Yukiko or Yuusaku either won or lost a game of some kind with Death and that is why Shin-chan is basically a corpse-magnet. Either that or Yuusaku's ancestry has some sort of curse or something, since the bodies don't seem to follow Yukiko.

On another note, was anyone else just going "...dafuq just happened?" in response to the latest like 10 chapters? Like seriously WHAT EVEN. GOSHO GO HOME YOU ARE DRUNK

however having read up to the latest chapters means that I want to write a ficlet or three concerning Sera and honestly I really hope the reason she keeps getting mistaken for a boy is because she's trans or genderfluid or something because we need more diverse characters in this series. Or maybe she's a nonsexualized lesbian because that'd be awesome too and DAMMIT GOSHO PLEASE JUST GIVE US SOME SORT OF ROMANCE OUTSIDE OF "OH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WILL THEY OR WON'T THEY" IT TOOK FUCKING FOREVER FOR JUST SATO AND TAKAGI TO GET TOGETHER JUST UGH AND THE FACT THAT IT'S BEEN CONFIRMED THAT FROM THE START OF THE SERIES TILL NOW IS CANONICALLY LESS THAN A YEAR IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT LIKE SERIOUSL H

I apologize for the rant, but having invested so much of my life in this series, I feel like it'd be nice to get a little bit of what I want y'know? Please review/comment on the oneshot, and if you have any complaints/agree with my theories, please contact me at my tumblr, which is sgchan :)