I dont own anything twilight...only in my dreams.

Chapter 1- Frustration

"No Bella!" I froze. There were two voices instead of the one velvety voice that I wanted to hear. The second voice was husky nothing compared to the one that I wanted. Then I felt two warm arms snake around my waist pulling me away from the edge of the cliff. I still couldn't move I couldn't believe that my moment was ruined.

"What were you thinking, there's a storm coming." Jacob said, as he turned me around to face him.

"Leave me alone, Jacob" I said with acid in my voice. I was frustrated that I didn't get to indulge Edward's voice as much as I wanted. I knew that Jacob was trying to help me, but I just couldn't help myself at being mad.

"What?" He said anger spreading across his face. "You were going to jump off a cliff while there is a storm…what were you… are you crazy."

I just stood there not knowing what to say, it was kind of true in a sense I did want to jump off a cliff to hear Edward's voice and I know that he didn't say in a literal way. I couldn't help but feel offended. Tears started forming in my eyes and they were going to spill over in any moment.

"Bella I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" I didn't let him finish his sentence as I ran towards my truck. I wanted to run away from everything; my nightmares, the painful hole in my chest, Victoria, vampires, werewolves and Jacob. Wait not Jacob he was the one helping me through this, how could I act the way I did with him.

Suddenly I tripped over a rock. I was waiting to land and feel the pain that I deserved. Instead I felt myself against something soft and warm. Even when I treated him badly he is always there to catch me. This made me feel even worse and I couldn't help but I cry even more.

"Shh, its okay, Bella." Jacob said as he rubbed my back, trying to calm me down.

"I'm…I'm sorry Jake." I said in between sobs. " I didn't … mean to…" Jacob cut me off before I could finish.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm the one that leaves you alone a lot. I should be the one apologizing." His warm brown eyes stared straight into my eyes that my sobs instantly stopped.

I had forgotten that he wasn't with me because Embry, Paul and Jared had found a new trail with Victoria's scent. I felt horrible, Jacob was out there risking his life along side with his pack and what do I do, I yell at him. I had to make up to him somehow.

"Did you find Victoria?" I asked hoping that they had finally stopped her, but then I shuddered at the thought of Jacob and the rest of the pack going against her.

"No" He said, as he pulled away and looked down to the floor. "She got away again." I could feel his disappointment.

"It's ok, Jake."

"No it's not. Its all that bloodsucker's fault that I can't spend time with you, that you're always alone!" I knew that he wasn't yelling at me but I couldn't help feel responsible for everything that was happening.

Jacob's hand started to shake and before I knew his whole body was too. Emily's face came into my mind and I knew that I had to calm Jacob down before he phase here, right now. I didn't what to say so I just hugged him. I wasn't sure if this was going to make it worst, but then I felt his arms around me and the shaking stopped. I was relieved.

"Sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have reacted that way."

"No problem Jake. Sometimes you just have to let it out." I said as I turned up to see his eyes. They showed care and tenderness.

I realized that I was staring at him and felt blood rise to my cheeks. Man, how long have I've been staring at him?

My stomach grumbled and it snapped me out of my thoughts. I guess Jacob heard it too. "You're hungry." It wasn't a question. "Come on I'll make you something." He said as he led to his house.

"When did you become a chef?" I said along with a giggle.

"Didn't you know, I make the best sandwiches in La Push." He said with a smile in his face. My smile, the one that I hadn't seen in a long time. I couldn't help but smile back.


Jacob wasn't lying, he made me one of the best sandwiches that I have ever eaten. We were just sitting on the couch finally having some peace and quiet. He had his arm around my shoulders and I was leaning against his side. If a stranger would see us like this they would think that we were together. This should have bothered me but I felt safe and whole in his arms. Jacob knew that I didn't feel the same way that he felt about me and he was okay with that. I know that I will never feel the same way that I felt for Edward with Jacob, but what we had now, I wouldn't change it one bit.

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