(This had to be the most enjoyable fanfic to write out of all of them. It's pure humour, with R/H fluff. I know, stop with the R/H you all think, but whateva. A Ron POV fic, Ron thinking about Hermione. Yes I know, I wrote one of those very popular going into the thoughts of Ron Weasley fics. So sue me!)

You know what happens when you sit down and think for a long time? What was it called...


Right! Pondering! Oh yes, I'm so clever. Ah ha.

Anyway. You know what happens when you sit down and *ahem* PONDER for a long time? You start pondering about the most absurd things. I mean, REALLY stupid. For one thing, she's like, one of my best friends, so I'm not thinking about her because I LIKE her or anything. Oh no. I'm thinking- oh excuse me- pondering about her because I'm just CURIOUS about what she's really all about. I mean, I don't think her bushy hair is adorable or anything, and I bloody well don't think she's got to be one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen ever since she got her teeth fixed up, and...

You're not buying any of this are you?

I swear I don't think of her in that way!! Really, I don't! She's SO not my type anyway. I like the tall, really thin girls, with long silky hair, and red lips, and a sexy voice If you know what I mean. And she's shorter than me, not really that tall, more on the curvy side (not fat at all...more uh...damnit! What's the word...)

'Oi! Harry! What's that weird word for curvy??'

'Voluptuous!! I knew that! Thanks.'

So anyways, she is definately more on the...voluptious side. I like blond hair way more than brown too. And blue eyes. I mean, her chestnut brown hair and those deep brown eyes with flecks of hazel and green that you could get lost into, aren't attractive at ALL.


You're not buying any of THIS either, are you?

Well I don't care what you buy or don't!! I don't like her, and she can date Viktor Buggering Krum if she wants to, that stupid god for friggen saken bastard of a bloke!!

He's a loser, and he's not THAT good at Quidditch.

It doesn't help that she's gotten really cute and Fred and George just KEEP ON flirting and flirting. Okay, we get the point! She's curvy and well endowed! Don't you think I'm uncomfortable enough with the fact I said that Neville was right about her being a girl, making it evident I hadn't really noticed she started puberty in third year.

I mean, I love her, yeah. But I'm not IN love with her! There's a difference.

When you're in love, you get like butterflies in your stomach, right? And your face turns hot, and you start blubbering like an idiot, and you get jealous and you make her mad because you're a prat and-

'Hermione, once sec! Can't you see I'm thinking!!??'

My stomach feels weird...

'No, I don't care if that bloody Transfig essay is due tommorow!'

My face feels hot...



'No Fred, Hermione does NOT want to help you chart your divination maps out in the dark, thankyou very much!!'

Stop flirting with her dammit!!

'And I will answer for you whenever I want Herm! Oh no wait, you probably WANT to go out in the dark with Fred, don't you? Well I wont stop you!!! Go right ah-OW!!!! Hey!!! You just kicked me!! Don't walk away from me!!'

Oooh, she's mad.

As I was saying, you get butterflies in your stomach, and your face turns hot and you start blubbering like an idiot and you get jealous and you make her mad because you're a prat and-