Once Upon a Time…

"... Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince, who was cursed by a creepy, slimy old man because the handsome prince was so much hotter than he was.

So the handsome prince had to sleep for a thousand years in old mansion in a haunted village, and while the prince slept, he had horrible nightmares and was very miserable, because that was all part of the curse.

Then one day, not quite a thousand years later, an awesome, treasure-hunting princess came to the village with her gang of side-kicks. She was looking for the ultimate treasure to save her hometown, and everyone knows that haunted houses have tonnes and tonnes of treasure in them.

But instead of gil or materia, the princess found the handsome prince and tried to wake him up. And although it took ages and he was grumpy and obviously not a morning person, he agreed to go with the princess and her friends to help her find her treasure.

So the prince and the princess found lots of treasure, and they saved the world (well, their friends helped out a little too), but the princess realised that the prince was still asleep, only on the inside, where it matters the most. You see, the prince had been asleep for so long and had so many nightmares, that he believed he deserved to be cursed, and so he hid himself away from all of his friends and especially from the princess.

But the princess wasn't having any of that, so she decided to track his ass down- uh, I mean, she decided to go and find him, wake him up properly, and bring him home to the people who cared about him.

It took the princess a long time to find the prince. She went on a dangerous journey for many days and nights, looking high and low, facing heat and cold, climbing mountains and exploring caves and all sorts of dive towns, but she eventually found the place where he had hidden himself away.

But even then, it wasn't easy to reach the prince. Firstly, she had to make her way through the terrible Forest of Ellipses! The forest was thick and almost impenetrable and the princess could barely fight her way through, but she was undaunted by this challenge. With each slice of her mighty shuriken (along with her wit and beauty, of course), a "…" fell to the ground and it became easier to get through to the prince. Eventually, she made it to a clearing where the prince was waiting and she could see him, and even talk to him.

But before she could reach him properly, and get him home, she had to face a fearsome, two-headed dragon! The dragon's heads were called Don't Call Me and Leave Me Alone. The brave princess nearly backed away from this giant obstacle, but she knew that if she did, the forest would grow back, and the prince would sleep in it forever, and he would still think that he deserved to be cursed and alone.

So the princess fought the dragon, again and again trying to get through to the prince. It took a long time, and lots of effort, but eventually the dragon fell dead to the floor, no match for her ninja skills (and wit and beauty, of course) and the princess could approach the prince.

So the princess ran across the clearing to where the prince was waiting for her, and she kissed him, a kiss meant to wake him up and break his curse for good!

So the prince woke up when the princess kissed him, all the way inside, and realised he had been an idiot for hiding away, and that he wasn't cursed anymore, not really. The princess realised she had found the ultimate treasure she had been looking for (though she kissed him again, just to make sure), and she took him home, where everyone was waiting for them…"


"So what happened next?" Ayame, her daughter, interrupted.

Yuffie blinked, so caught up in her fanciful story that she'd forgotten she had an audience. "Well…"

"They lived happily ever after, of course," a quiet voice came from behind them. Yuffie turned, flushing slightly. She hadn't realised Vincent was there; she'd never figured out how he managed to move so quietly in those boots all the time.

Ayame smiled up at her father. "Really?"

"… More or less, anyway."

After they'd tucked her in, checked under the bed for monsters, kissed her goodnight and pulled the bedroom door shut, Vincent raised his eyebrow at Yuffie. "That's not quite how I recall what happened," he murmured to her, but Yuffie could tell that he was amused.

Grinning, she rose to her tiptoes and wrapped her arms snugly around his neck, turning her face upwards for a kiss. "Meh. Close enough."

Uh, yeah. This was written under the influence of far too much cough medicine. The forest and dragon and stuff are obviously metaphorical but they're not supposed to be serious so don't worry about it.

Review, and I'll promise never to write under the influence again!