I don't own Naruto.

Man, I just tried a 29 minute long hypnosis thing to make me think I'm a furry, but instead I ache everywhere. This is a oneshot, with no follow ups, as I have decided to stop writing lemons until further notice.

"Hey granny! I haven't had any missions for ages! Even that Kakashi-sensei was getting bored, and I thought he was the lasiest Jounin sensei..."

"Shutup, brat! Go away or I'll have you back in the Academy!"

"Oh. Granny, are you drunk again?"

"HELL NO! GET SHIZUNE!" Tsunade threw a bottle of Sake at Naruto, which flew past his head. Naruto ran out of the door, seeing Shizune just outside, he told her Tsunade's condition. "It's a code Sake, Shizune-nee-san!"

"Code Sake? Fetch the Anbu, and Iruka! This is bad! Last time we had a code Sake, she almost killed Kakashi for reading his porn while giving in a mission report! Imagine what she'll do If Jiriya happens to peek through the window?"

"Yosh!" Naruto jumped through the corridor window to the academy. At times like this, you needed someone with good reasoning skills, A genius, and a meat shield to feel the force of her anger. He knew exactly who to choose. Sai to absorb her rage, Iruka to calm her down, and Shikamaru to figure out a way to get her sober ASAP. When he got to the academy he found Shikamaru and Temari kissing in the staff room. He explained the situation to Shikamaru, and he sighed, mentioned troublesome drunks, and jumped on to the rooftops. Next Naruto went to his old class, and pulled Iruka out through a window. Naruto simply said "Code Sake." and Iruka followed Shikamaru, pale as a sheet. Finally, he shouted "TINY PENIS!" and Sai's dick senses kicked ion. Moments later Sai jumped in off a large bird, and Naruto said "Tsunade wants dating tips from you." and broke into evil laughter inside. This was gonna be the best 'mission ever. When he got back to the Hokage building Sai was a couple of rooms away, visible only through several Sai shaped holes in the walls, Iruka was trying not to faint and Shikamaru's shadow was slowly edging towards Tsunade.

5 minutes later everyone except Naruto had either ran away or been punched through a couple of walls. Tsunade seemed to be getting tired and sat down in her chair panting. "Hey, brat, gimme a second and I'll kill you." Naruto stealthily snuck in through a hole in the roof which resembled Kakashi. Tsunade was thankfully, still sitting down with her eyes closed. Naruto walked slowly up to her, planning to confiscate any sake that might be remaining. He grabbed a half full bottle and threw it out the window. Thoroughly searching for any more, he checked all the drawers and cabinets. Satisfied he started to walk out the room, when a hand grabbed his shoulder. Naruto silently said his prayers. The hand started to pull him back. "Where are going, brat?"

"H-Home..."

What she did next surprised Naruto more than anything ever had. She pulled him back onto her desk, than started to rub his groin. Naruto attempted to escape, but that uneaarthly strength kept him down. "What's the matter Naruto-kunnn? Don't I turn you on?"

"Well, I always thought of you as more of a mother, and-"

"Shutup or I'll kill you."

"H-Hai!"

Tsunade pulled his head into her breasts. Still, he didn't get hard. Frustrated, she started rubbing his crotch faster. This finally made him slightly horny. Groaning, he tried to escape again, but she held him down firmly.

"Tsunade-baa-chan... please stop..."

"Okay – not! You're going to pleasure me, brat! Feel my breasts!"

Terrified, naruto started to squeeze them.

"Okay lemme go now,"

"No way, Brat!" Tsunade pulled down his trousers and boxers and started to rub his cock. Naruto started to get an erection, making him sweat. It seemed fitting for the Hokage to take the future Hokage's boyhood.

"NOW TOUCH MY BREASTS!"

Naruto flinched, then slowly started to rub her breasts, causing her to rub his dick faster in return. Catching on, Naruto, who had given in to temptation after a short internal battle, started to fondle her nipples. Naruto sat up, and started to suck them, making her moan. He bought his other hand to her ass, and started to pull down her tights. Keeping her pants on, he started to bub her vagina. She threatened him, so he took it to the next step and started to finger her. Tsunade had started to really start rubbing his cock and he couldn't hold it in. Feeling a massive tingling, he tried his best to fight it, as he thought he was gonna pee, but it was no good, and his cum spurted out. Tsunade mounted the desk, and positioned herself over his head. Taking the hint from Jiraiya's books he licked her pussy, quite enjoying the taste of the juices.

"Naruto you're sucking me dry!"

Bursting with pleasure, she came over his face, making her momentarily slump. By now Naruto had gotten hard again and was bursting to lose his innocence. Sliding into her warm, wet, vagina he pushed in, then pulled almost all the way out, before lunging again.

"Hey brat, you're so small. No wonder Sai calls you 'dickless'"

Keeping silent, Naruto continued fucking her. He decided in order to be a man, he would have to make her come first. With renewed speed, he kept up the assault on her pussy. Realizing he wasn't able to hold it much longer, he started rubbing her ass at the same time. Although not much was said, the two were having a secret battle in which even the loser seemed to win. At the same time, they came. Tsunade swore. A virgin had managed to draw with her, and make her cum twice. She must be losing her touch. Exhausted, and in Tsunade's case, drunk, they lay down on her desk, with Naruto still inside her.

Half an hour later, Tsunade had calmed considerably, and Naruto seemed to walk with the look of a man, not a boy. Everyone asked how he did it, and Naruto would simply say "I came into her orifice and exhausted her." By saying this, it sounded like he had 'come into her office and dodged her punches', and also, It meant he could fool the Sharingan and Byakugan.

After that, Naruto got his pick of the missions, and seemed to frequently enter the Hokage tower, stay for about an hour, then leave, looking slightly dazed.

YAY! I am a massive fan of NaruTsuna, and this pairing inspired me to write this fic. This is, by the way, my last lemony fic, besides All Crossed Up.