My first SGA fic. My first one shot. Please, be nice.

The reveiw gods demand tribute, or they will smite you.

Please review, we must appease them. =]

Hope you like it...


He was alone.

That was the first thing that he realised when he returned to the waking world. He wondered, for a moment, who he was, where he was, why, how...His jumbled thoughts were cut short, however, when he noticed something else, but it took a few moments for him to realise what was wrong…


The next thing was pain.

A lot of pain.

He didn't really know what to do with it all, but he knew he didn't like it. He lay, completely still, in silence, with the waves of pain washing over him. A few times, he tried to cry out, to whimper, to call for help, but he couldn't. He didn't really understand what they were. But the fact that he couldn't caused a new emotion in him…


Once he had registered that that was what the emotion was, he realised there was quite a lot of it. After that, once he really felt the cold grasp of fear, he felt his chest clutch into a tight knot. He didn't really understand what his chest was meant to do, but he knew this was wrong. He couldn't move it properly, it kept heaving I and out. It hurt. He didn't understand – it hadn't been having a problem a while ago. He was still scared, and this fear was made worse for the fact that there was only some reason he opened his eyes. Perhaps that was normal.


He didn't think it was an emotion, but he had only felt emotions themselves so far. Even I it wasn't an emotion, it flooded his head and he got more of that pain behind his eyes, stabbing and hot. He still wasn't breathing. He gasped, and a word suddenly formed on his lips, silent.


John? What was that? He was still gasping.


He needed air. The word returned, unbidden; "JOHN!" He became scared when a noise came out of his lips. He wasn't expecting that. He didn't really understand what a john was, but the word comforted him, slightly. Suddenly a new sound reached his ringing ears.

"Rodney!" Rodney? He wandered What's one of them? The, suddenly, right there, next to him, was warmth.


He found, suddenly, air in his lungs. He gulped loudly, finally able to breathe easily. The warmth was moving around, it seemed to be doing things, but He didn't really know what. He didn't really care – the warmth helped with the air. The warmth was good. He trusted the warmth. When he returned to his side, He could see a faint haze of darkness in all that light. He wondered if the warmth and the dark fuzz were connected.


There was only a very small amount of it, but it was new, so he paid attention. He realized the warmth, and the fuzz, which may be the same thing, caused this calm. All the other emotions he had discovered were bad. He liked calm. He wanted to keep the warmth, and the fuzz. He realized that the fuzz/warmth was making a noise, and he knew that if he could hear it, and could piece it together, it might make sense but it didn't. Suddenly, the tone of the noise changed, and the fuzz began to disappear. He couldn't follow it. Suddenly, the warmth by his side got cold, and then went away.


He didn't want to be alone again. Fear, loneliness, back again.


It was happening again. Fear. Fear.

"John!" It had worked last time… He didn't want the warm to disappear.

His eyes fuzzed up more, and he felt water on his face. Alone. Then, suddenly, the warmth was back. He lifted up his arm and grabbed the fuzz when it appeared. He could feel something. Warmth, calm.


He had moved… he wasn't just emotions. He had…parts… He could suddenly feel them, each of them. And with that feeling, came the pain again.


He didn't understand what the noise was. He wanted it to stop. He tried to speak, but his mouth was already open. He didn't understand. The warmth moved closer, and suddenly there was a warmth on his face.

Rodney began to calm down again, the noises began to make sense… he could feel emotions in them. But-wait…


"Rodney?" He asked. Suddenly, he could hear the noises clearly.

"No, I'm john. You are Rodney" Worry. Pain. Fear. Worry. The emotions were all he could understand. The noises didn't quite fit together yet. Had he caused the pain, the worry, the fear?

"Sorry" he said, just in case.


He clutched the fuzz harder. He wondered why it was black again. He tried to do the same as last time, but the light didn't return. He could hear the noises again, but he couldn't even single out the emotions anymore. He felt like he was floating, but could feel the warmth. It was still there, in his hand.



He returned to the blackness.

The warmth was still making noises, but he just let them fade away.

Please tel me what you think! I love responses. I have a few ideas of expanding this past a one shot - please let me know if you want me to? In a review! *pointed look* =]

Yours to command, always,

Kai xx =]