Straight up, if you so much as think 'Oh Tribble, you sure are weird' I must remind you: I live in Alaska. Enough said. I'm the sane one in this state.
The Awesome Beta: Platinum Rose Lady
Rouge Beta Of Awesome: enviousxbeauty
Be REALLY Careful
"This all your fault Sam." Dean hissed arching his back and puffing his tail up.
"You ate the cursed pie!" Sam growled pawing at the motel carpet.
"Guys!" Castiel whined flying only inches above them. "Guys! Can we calm down and fix this!"
Dean looked up. His feline green eyes traced Castiel's flying pattern for a second, and then his orange body pounced pinning the speckled ferret to the ground. Castiel's black wings, only three inches from wing tip to wing tip, fluttered uselessly at his side. "Relax Castiel." Dean hissed purring dangerously.
Sam howled. "Dean! Seriously!"
Dean looked up at the Doberman puppy. "Whatever." He stepped away from the squirming Castiel. "Later, ferret boy, later."
Castiel rolled around on his belly for a minuet then flipped himself onto solid footing. He started pacing, his lithe ferret body winding circles around the tabby kitten and Doberman. "What do you guys do when things normaly go wrong?"
Sam plopped down on to his haunches and scratched his ear with his back paw. He thought about it for a second. "Huh."
Dean licked his paw as he thought. "Why don't we just call Bobby?"
Sam licked Dean's face happily. "You're right!"
"Ew! Dog drool!" Dean squeaked.
Castiel jumped up and down and walked sideways. "I wanna hop on the buttons! Let me!"
Dean walked over to his leather jacket that was on the floor. He wiggled into the sleeve and pushed out his cell phone. Using his teeth he opened it to reveal the keyboard. "Go ahead."
Castiel squeaked and hopped on the key board. After several misdials to Dean's ex-girlfriends they finally managed to get the proper ring tone dialing.
Bobby nudged the ringing phone off the receiver. With one wave of his mighty head, his antlers hit the wall sending his precariously balanced hat flying out of hoofed reach. "Hello?" the giant moose grumbled.
"Hey Bobby! This is Sam!" Sam barked through the phone. "We're in trouble!"
Bobby scratched his hoof at the ground. "You don't say."
Dean's soft voice came on to the phone. "We've become, well…"
"I'm a ferret!" Castiel chirped.
"Something like that." Dean sighed. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"
"I'm a moose." Bobby lamented. "And I have no idea what this could mean."
"I do! I do!" Sam yipped. "Dean ate a pie which was cursed and we're animals because he ate the pie but I don't know where he got it only that he ate it!"
"That's nice Sam." Bobby said dryly. "Dean did you eat pie from strangers again?"
"No!" Dean purred indignantly. "We weren't strangers after he introduced himself!"
"Dean." Bobby said flatly. "Explain."
"I may or may not have met a Jinn and he sorta kinda asked me what's wrong and I said I wished people weren't such animals." Dean garbled the words in one breath.
Sam's ears flattened against his head. "Dean…"
Dean squeaked. "Okay, okay… And yeah, then the Jinn asked me if that's what I really wanted. So I was like, No- I just want people to be who they are on the inside."
"That's oddly sensitive of you." Bobby mused.
Castiel growled and bit Dean's ear. "I do not think ferret thoughts!"
"Ow!" Dean shrieked. "That's it ferret boy!"
"Hold on!" Bobby yelled. "Dean, do you still know where the Jinn is?"
"Maybe." Dean shrugged while smacking away Castiel's advances with his paw.
"Then let's go to his house and make another wish."
There was a collective Oooooh from the Winchester side of the phone call.
"Come over to my place, we'll go together." Bobby huffed before smashing his phone in a vain attempt to hang up.
"How are we going to drive the car!" Sam asked hopping up and down.
Dean swore. His cute button nose scrunched up in concentration. He looked up at the dresser that towered over his head. The keys sat on the cheap wood waiting for him. "That's a good question."
Castiel looked at Sam. "You know Dean, I think Sam's becoming more dog like…"
Dean's ears flattened back. He hissed. "Oh my god. You may right."
Castiel squeaked happily. Dean rolled his eyes, "Let's just go check out the car."
As they pounced outside, Sam leading happily, they looked for the Impala. To their dismay a chicken with a small red wagon attached to its harness clucked was where the Impala had been parked.
Dean circled the animal. "Impala?" he asked suspiciously.
The chicken clucked and jumped in the air, jostling the cart. "Hey!" Sam wiggled his nose at the cart. "It says Impala here! It must be our car!"
Castiel scampered under the wagon and popped his head up on the other side. His nose twitched anxiously as he timidly climbed into the car. He nodded to Dean. "It seems safe."
Dean gracefully hoped in next to him. Sam clambered into the cart, nearly tilting it over. Dean cleared his throat. "Um Impala, can you take us to Bobby's house?"
The Impala took off and clattered down the windy streets. The ride to Bobby's was mercifully quick. Dean and Castiel had to hold Sam back from leaning his head too far out the wagon.
At Bobby's house a moose was ramming itself again and again at the door way trying to get out. With a crack, the wood splintered and made way for his huge muscular frame to get through. "Alright." Bobby snorted. "I'm ready. Where do we have to go?"
Castiel looked at the space in the Impala. He flew up to Bobby's height and curled in the antlers. "Dean says it's an old house down the road." He whined. "But he's a kitten. And Sam's a dog. And I don't know what I'm gonna do…."
Bobby sighed. "Just follow me okay? And get down from there, these aren't for decoration."
Castiel whimpered and wafted back down into the Impala. Dean's eye twitched at the sight of the massive moose, his inner predator screamed at him to chase it. He stuck his tongue out. "Let's ride, Impala." He said firmly. "And get this over with."
They meandered down the road avoiding traffic and human population as they went. Finally they came across the house that Jack had built for the Jinn. Dean hissed. "That's it."
"We have to go there?" Bobby asked using his rack to point to the house across the road.
Sam, with his tongue hanging out as he panted, nodded. "Uh-huh, Uh-huh."
Dean yawned nonchalantly. "Yeah."
Bobby looked at them and sighed. He turned towards the road and lumbered across. The Impala hesitated and checked for traffic. She saw her target across the road.
With one brave step the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side.
The reached the old house in record time, and zoomed up the rotted stairs inside. The Impala stayed on the porch. As a precaution Dean told her to "Stay put."
Beside him Sam plopped down on his haunches and looked confused. "Come along!" Dean chided gesturing his brother inside.
Inside the Jinn sat at his desk flipping through Scheherazade's latest novel. He looked up as the motley crew entered. "Dean," he smiled throwing his arms wide, "welcome back. Enjoy the pie?"
Sam panted and looked at Dean. No matter how he tried to be angry, the feeling would not remain. "I can't believe you wished for this! I'm really excited but really angry!" he looked at the Jinn's lamp. "Is that a chew toy!"
Dean reached his paws out in front of him and sighed. "Look, there was pie okay? Whatever."
The Jinn smiled. "I take it you did enjoy the pie."
Dean meowed resentfully. "I wish I'd never eaten that pie!"
The Jinn winked. "Sorry Dean, only one wish per customer."
Castiel clawed at the desk and scrambled up one of the legs. "Oh!" he squeaked. "I wish.. I wish…"
He looked over at Sam who was chewing the desk leg and Dean who scratching the other leg. "I wish my wings were bigger!"
The Jinn shrugged his shoulder and snapped. Castiel chased his tails and did a little hop as joy overwhelmed his ferret senses. His wings grew until they were now three feet long wing tip to wing tip, triple his body length. He flapped them hesitantly and took flight with ease, soaring across the room.
There was small popping noise as his wish was completed and the wings turned gold with pink polka dots. "Aww." He squeaked sadly.
Distracted by his now fabulous wings he crashed in to the stair well of the house. The Jinn watched the ferret fall head over heels down thirteen stairs mangling it's new wings. He chuckled to himself and looked over his shoulder. He was startled to see Bobby huffing beside him.
"Yes Moose?" The Jinn sneered. He crossed his arms over his chest. "What is it you wish?"
Bobby thought briefly.
A new hat…
God like powers…
Revenge against Palin…
He shook his head and refocused. "I wish," he said slowly, "that we were human once more!"
The Jinn sighed. "You sure?"
Bobby stamped his foot. Behind him Dean had tackled Sam, and they were rolling across the floor. "Positive," Bobby said as he twitched his head.
The Jinn frowned and snapped. "As you wish, you all will be mortal once more just as you had been when the change occurred."
Bobby's antlers fell to the ground, his hooves disappeared, and his fur fell off as he stood up in his pajamas- dark jeans and a fleece tee shirt. He adjusted his hat and smiled. "I don't need sleep. I just read books, because reading is cool."
Dean and Sam, still wrestling, suddenly realized that they were human. Dean pushed Sam off him and stood up. He was wearing his jeans and dark green tee shirt that he'd last met the Jinn in. He smiled happily. Sam wiped drool from his mouth and looked down at his blue boxer shorts. He held up a finger at Dean. "We are not speaking of this. Ever again."
Castiel stopped wiggling on the floor as his body grew to mortal proportions. To Castiel's great disappoint his wings were still three feet long with an irregular color pattern. His distress was increased when he noticed that he was only wearing the black pajama pants he had put on before bed. He clutched a hand to his broad chest and gasped. His wings fluttered, but failed to carry him away.
The four guys in various states of dress looked at the Jinn. "Well, it appears there's one more wish left."
Dean looked at Sam. "Don't you dare mess with the Impala. She's been through enough today."
Sam looked over his shoulder out the living room window. Outside on the porch was the car in mint condition. Sam bit his lip. "You may be right."
Beside him Castiel shivered. "Just make up your mind. I'm cold!"
Sam thought about it. "I want a milkbone!"
Dean slammed his face into his palm. "Sam, damnit!"
The Jinn handed him a milk bone and waved his hand dismissively. "Now scamper away."
The group walked out of the house and got into the car. After destroying the patio they were out on the open road. Sam munched happily on his treat as Dean drove.
Bobby sat in the back seat next to Castiel.
"You know," Bobby said breaking the silence, "being a moose was kind of awesome."
Dean raised one eyebrow. "Well, it's gotta be better than wanting to sleep all day while wanting to take over the world."
Sam smiled. "I've never been this happy in my life!"
He wiggled his butt in absence of a tail. Castiel looked at them. "Clearly you guys have no idea what passes for sanity in the ferret community."
They all looked at Castiel strangely.
"Are you sure you're not secretly a ferret on the inside?" Dean looked at Castiel through the review mirror.
Castiel blushed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever Meow Mix."
After they dropped Bobby back at his place they went to their motel and surveyed the damage. Casitel's ferret rampage had shredded most of Dean's magazines, Dean had clawed the bedding, and Sam had drooled all over the weapons.
"I wish I didn't have to clean all this junk." Dean groaned holding up a sticky gun.
"Be careful what you wish for," Sam smiled, "…really careful."