"Hey, guys, guess who couldn't stay away! Miss me?" Wally's voice cheerfully called out as he zipped down various corridors. There were no answering greetings. No yells to be quiet or to slow down. Just barren aisles and communal rooms sliding past his peripheral vision. He searched from one area to the next without having any luck.
"Hello? Anybody home?"
Feeling a tad more anxious as each passing second slipped by without seeing or hearing anything of his friends, Wally tried running to and knocking on the doors of each of his team mates.
Goodness, but the Watchtower sure was kind of spooky.
Maybe he really shouldn't have watched that Alien marathon last week.
"Hello? Diana? Shayera? GL? Supes?"
Nothing from any of them. Well, nothing from the ones he'd knocked on so far.
Wally internally debated the necessity of trying the last door.
Yeah. The shadows were getting to him. Surely it couldn't get any worse even if the man answered?
Hesitantly, he tapped on the foreboding barrier that separated him from...
When the area continued to remain quiet, Wally wasn't sure if he should feel relieved about that or even more super freaked out than he was already.
His heart was beating so fast he couldn't even make out the individual thumps.
Where was everybody?
Wally hated darkness. Quiet too. Mix the two together and it was not a good scene. Everything got worse when someone switched off the lights and stopped talking. Monsters and aliens were allergic to light and noise.
Unless they were the ones making the noise because zap guns made zappity noises when they fried somebody.
Oh god...what if...what if there had been an alien takeover? Or a cosmic phenomenon of catastrophic proportions had struck out of nowhere so that everyone was just a pile of pearly dust comprised of assorted minerals lying about like in that ancient Star Trek episode where people had become super dehydrated and -oh man!- hadn't he just been running everywhere in the Watchtower at super speed and disturbing their glistening mortal remains? The particles were probably mixed together beyond separation now.
Oh crappity crappity crap!
Spectral Batman would not be happy to be part and parcel of anyone's mortal remains. Bats hated it when Superman hugged him. Lord knew how His Scariness would take this. The Dark Knight would try to reconstitute himself just in order to kill the last living Founder. In fact the whole League would be pissed and haunt him for the rest of his days like some sort of revengeful chimera, multiple-superheroes ghost of peevishness.
He really shouldn't have watched that Paranormal Channel last night.
Legs trembling a little, Wally decided to try one more time. If anyone would be able to escape dessication it would be-
"GAH!" Wally jumped back in fright at the disembodied voice. "Don't do that!"
The speedster paused a moment so as to see if his heart was already half way to Pluto or still with him before replying, "Answering in my mind from out of the blue with that ghostly tone when nobody else did and taking five years off my life. Jeepers, J'onn, It was like living a scene from a slasher movie just before the demented zombie gardener strikes with a pitchfork!" He nervously glanced around. "Bad enough it's so, like, eerily silent and kind of dark except for the glow from The Monitor Room. That is you, J'onn, right? I mean, I'm not speaking to your ghost or to some reanimated ghoul waiting to lull me into a false sense of security before he tries to eat my brain?"
"Wallace, I do not mean to be rude, but might I ask what it is you require?"
"Oh...yeah." He gave a nervous chuckle. "I was kind of wondering why I appear to be alone in the Watchtower seeing as I was the only one actually scheduled off today. Also about the whole creepy lack of proper illumination and deathly silent Watchtower thing."
"It may be because the rest of the League were expecting that you would try to take advantage of the situation by arriving unannounced and striving to make them uncomfortable."
"Situation? Make them uncomfortable?"
"That is what I said."
" J'onn," Wally did his best to sound affronted as he attempted to point out, "how could I possibly..."
"Then you did not intend to embroider "Batmen Do It In The Dark" on the back of Batman's cape with fluorescent pink thread?"
"Um..." Think fast, Wally! "Doesn't the Bat Family do everything in the dark? That's hardly incriminating or provable..."
"Or fill the Green Lantern's room with whole lemons?"
"To that I confess; but, that was so he could...you know...take life's lemons and make lemonade. And lemon chiffon pie. And lemon tarts. And lemon-"
"Or decorate Shayera Hol's domicile with chicken wire and hay straw with hen eggs in her bed with email announcements to all the League that she was expecting soon? Were you not going to glue a 'bunny tail and ears' onto Wonder Woman's shorts and tiara?"
"Or plaster my door with "Mars Needs Women" movie posters with yourself out front in order to test the lip texture of any female candidates wanting to apply?"
"Okaaay, those hypothetical occurrences may or may not have happened...I was on a bit of a sugar high at the time...memory black out. You can't judge me based on-"
"Or replacing the contents of Clark Kent's eyeglass case with spectacles sporting wire springs and plastic eyes?"
"Those glasses were classics! Classics! Anyway, it's not like I was going to do all that stuff today." Wally rolled his eyes. "Geez, what do you take me for? Have you no respect for my level of spontaneity? Besides that stuff that I may or may not have done was last year. It's spring...everything is supposed to be new and fresh."
"That's what we were afraid of. In any case, The League expresses their regrets at being presumptuous (not to mention preemptive) and placing the Watchtower on auto lock down for twenty four hours after your signal requested you wished transporting up there. Also for scheduling you for back-to-back monitor duty for the same period."
"Auto lock down during your monitor duty."
You can't do that! I'll starve!"
"Superman left plenty of TV dinners in the fridge."
"There's a keg of pink lemonade as well."
"Do enjoy your April Fools Day, Wallace."
A/N: title: April's Fool
Posted one day early just in case something goes haywire here tonight like it did with St. Paddy's.
Note: I actually dislike April's Fool Day, but imagine that Wally was less critical of it.