Mitsukai here. This is a giftfic for EpitsuOnna, who has guessed the meaning of my pen name and also just a simple gift. I tried, and I fail at smut, so this is just fluff. Sorry, Na. I also added a song, two songs actually, and listen to it, will you? You'll know if that's the song or not, Nana. I'll give you a hint about the second one. It's a duet and one of your favorites.
Thanks for being the best girl a guy could ever have.
Shishido Ryou fell bonelessly on top of his bed, never even bothering to fix his tennis bag, open the lights or even to change out of his school uniform. This day's practice was more exhausting than the others, Atobe was PMS-ing again (Shishido's words), and has ordered them to do 10 matches for this afternoon instead of the usual five. Reaching for his desk beside his bed, his hands groped for the remote control for the massive stereo in his bedroom, despite the protests of his aching arms. Finally feeling the remote, he grasped the remote and turned on his stereo, complete with mega subwoofers. He let the remote slip off his fingers and on to the bed, as he laid down again, waiting for the music to come forth.
At once, thudding music filled his room. He closed his eyes, relishing the loud, steady tempo, feeling his aching muscles throb with the beat. Only a select few knows about Shishido's apparent interest with music, as he prefers not to shout it out to the top of the world. Yes, he is being sarcastic. The only people who knew about this was Atobe (because he was a nosy little bitch to begin with) and his kouhai cum teammate, Choutarou (who has guessed correctly, and Shishido can't lie to his doubles partner, of all people, because lying to him is just… wrong).
The song shifted to the chorus and Shishido found himself singing along, but his voice was soft, muted, for fear that his older asshole of a brother would hear and then he would never hear the end of it.
Another fact about Shishido Ryou. He has a killer voice. And when we say killer, we mean killer. Killer as in when someone hears his awesome voice they could already die happily, with tears of happiness in their eyes. And his voice is to die for. Literally. He was scouted once by a talent manager when he was starting his second year, and he declined because, first and foremost, tennis was his love. And he didn't plan on making a living with his godlike singing voice. And so, to prevent other people from pestering him to at least try and audition for a producing company, he never sings. Most especially when he's around his teammates, the Hyotei Gakuen Tennis Club. And so, in result, even his partner didn't know about his hidden talent, which will stay hidden, thank you very much.
The song was slowly coming to an end, and Shishido parted his lips, a melancholic sigh coming through. He loved and hated that song. He loved it because it reminded him about someone. He hated it because it reminded him of his feelings. Even though the song was in English, he understood it well enough. Besides, he usually picks a song because of the melody, not the lyrics. But this song is the exception.
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside, it was a rush
What a rush.
As if on purpose, his cellphone rang, making him jump up in surprise. Sitting up on his bed, he stared at it, knowing already who the caller is. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he reached for it. He flipped it open and saw the number illuminated on the screen in semi-darkness. Fingers shaking, heart beating loudly, he pushed the loudspeaker button, so that he doesn't have to bother holding it. The phone fell on the bed and, a second later, a voice was heard.
'Hello? Shishido-san? Are you there?' Soft, tentative, melodious.
His heart almost stopped. Shishido bit his lip, trying to steady his voice.
"Ch-Choutarou?" Damn. His voice broke.
'Shishido-san! Are you busy? The phone was ringing for a while.'
"N-no… I dozed off and I woke up when you called." It was easier to lie to Choutarou when you're not face to face, but Shishido was praying to whatever deity up there that he wasn't damning himself to eternal damnation for lying to his angelic kouhai.
'I see… Sorry for disturbing you, Shishido-san!'
Shishido stifled a groan and buried himself in his bed, hoping that the sheets would suffocate him to death. His heart was out of control and he knew he was already blushing. Damn these feelings! Choutarou, do you know what you do to me?
Cause there's a possibility
That you would never feel the same way about me.
It's just too much
Just too much.
'Shishido-san? Are you still there?' Choutarou sounded concerned.
"It's- It's nothing. I'm just… tired, that's all." Shishido finally managed to get his tone to be the right mixture of cool and offhand, as he looked to his side and stared at his phone again.
'Tired? About today's practice, you mean?'
"… Yeah, that's right." The capped teen murmured, leaning against his pillow, thankful that his kouhai didn't hear the next words that followed. Not only that, Choutarou. I'm tired on guessing whether you feel the same about me or not…
Choutarou was apparently at a loss for words, because there was silence on the other line. Shishido waited for his kouhai's next words, but just actually wanting to cut the call and bury himself under the covers until the sun shines the next day, or at least to calm his racing heart.
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know…
'Shishido-san… are you alright?' Choutarou asked softly.
No, I'm not, Choutarou. And it's because of you. Shishido refrained from saying it aloud. He knew that the other teen would immediately feel guilty and in turn, make him feel guiltier. "I'm fine. I'm just tired. Sorry, Choutarou, but I'm hanging up now." He couldn't deal with this. Not when he knew his kouhai was listening to him.
'Oh. Okay. Take care, Shishido-san.' Is it just him, or did Choutarou actually sound… disappointed? Fighting down the almost hopeful ache in his heart, Shishido shrugged it off as nothing and ended the call. Despite himself, he found himself smiling at Choutarou's last words.
Take care, Shishido-san.
"Take care, he says." Shishido mused, already feeling the irony of the sentence.
I can't take care of myself… because now I need you to do it for me.
"Do you ever think, when we're all alone, all that we could be, where this thing could go?" He intoned quietly, already memorizing the lyrics by heart. "Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it real or just another crush?"
"Do you catch a breath, when I look at you, are you holding back, like the way I do…"
"'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away, but I know this crush ain't going away…" Slowly he dwindled off, feeling physically and mentally exhausted. He turned on his back and stared at his ceiling, where colors of orange and dark blue are starting to mix. Night was coming soon. He covered his eyes with his arm.
"Choutarou… you're making me crazy. And not in a good way." He muttered to himself.
Slowly, he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of warm brown eyes, silver hair and a soft, melodious voice.
That morning, Shishido was eating his breakfast, feeling a little more than depressed. Last night didn't help him at all. He kept dreaming about his kouhai (not in that way, you perverts), and it usually ended with either a rejection or with Choutarou burying a lot of tennis balls in his gut. He groaned in misery and tried to bury himself in his cup of rice.
Just then, the epitome of his nightmares appeared and he resisted banging his head against the countertop. His older brother stole the last bite of his eggs en route to his own plate, and, growling, Shishido flipped off his older brother, who decided to be a more than a jackass today. Shishido Ryuu took a seat beside his brother, despite of the patented 'fuck off, get away from me' scowl that was present on the capped teen's face. The older Shishido noticed that his brother is looking more moody today, and was clearly sulking at something important. Trying not to laugh at his brother's rather brat-like expression (he looks like someone stole his favorite toy car, for god's sake), he decided to risk it and play the 'stupid, ignorant older brother' card.
"Morning, 'lil bro!" He chirped, and the murderous aura blackened tenfold. "What the hell do you want with me, Ryuu?" Shishido asked coldly, trying to ignore his brother as much as possible. He loved his brother; he really did… if loving him meant that he was allowed to skin his brother alive and boil him in white hot oil and then sell his insides in the black market…
"What crawled up your ass this morning, Ryou?" Ryuu snorted. "Wait, scratch that. What rotting carcass managed to crawl in your ass and stay there?" He started eating.
"It's none of your business, Ryuu." The younger answered shortly, already polishing off the rest of his meal. The sooner he left the better. Or there would be murder in the house.
"Of course it's my business, bro! You're my one and only little brother!" Ryuu sing-songed, and a vein in Ryou's forehead twitched. He just had to say little…
"Go to hell, asshole!" A few appliances were already flying. A kitchen knife was clearly visible. Ryuu gulped. His brother is seriously pissed off. "Chill, Ryou!" He held his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I don't want to be killed yet!"
"Then why the hell are you annoying me at six in the morning?!"
"It's because I heard you singing last night, okay?! You never sing unless you're upset with something!" Ryuu hadn't meant to say that, but it was his life that is currently in danger at the moment, and so a distraction is needed.
And it, surprisingly, worked.
Ryou froze at the statement. Damn it, his brother heard him singing? He must be losing his touch. Unable to deny the statement, he opted to sit back down and glare at his emptied plate. Ryuu sighed, partly from relief that his brother wasn't going to kill him now and partly in exasperation, because Ryou's acting like a lovesick idiot. But he knew better than to ask and so he simply stared, knowing that soon enough, Ryou would open up to him and spill what's bothering him lately. After he's been threatened to an eternal silence.
"Hey Ryuu…" So he had been right. But there's no threat this time. The thought made Ryuu a bit surprised and more concerned. A not-threatening Ryou means that the problem that he has is majorly serious.
"What is it, Ryou?"
The capped teen fidgeted, and he actually looked… embarrassed. If Ryou wasn't so serious Ryuu would have teased him about it already… but not now. This would be excellent blackmail in the later years, but now is not the time to think about that.
"Howwouldyouconfesstoapersonyouliked?!" Ryou asked in a rush. Ryuu blinked at him, looking as if he has just spoken Greek. Ryou flushed darkly.
"Again, Ryou. Speak Japanese this time, okay?"
The capped teen gave him a half-hearted glare. The older raised an eyebrow. The younger gritted his teeth.
"Suppose… you have someone you like." Ryou started off slowly, damning himself for stooping so low as to ask for his brother's help. But he was already desperate. He knew that after this, Ryuu would continuously hang this conversation above his head for as long as he lived. But he didn't care. He has to find answers, now, or he'll lose his mind from thinking too much.
"And… you don't know what h-she feels for you." Ryou corrected himself, cursing for making another slip up. Nobody in his family knows of his… preference. And, again, he prefers to keep it that way.
"…I see." Ryuu said after a while, judging his brother's expression. His brother was in love. It was so glaringly obvious that you can tack 'stupid-in-love' in front of his face. Ryuu hesitated to roll his eyes. His brother is just fourteen, and yet he's already troubled by the complications of love. How cute. "Are you close to… her?"
Ryou noticed the implication in his brother's voice when he referred to 'her', and he had to school his face to hide his anxiety over being caught. "Somewhat."
"Ah. So, you want to confess, and yet you can't, correct? Because you're afraid that confessing will change the relationship that you already have." Ryou flinched as every single sentence stabbed though his heart. It was like Choutarou aiming, and hitting, his chest every single time with the Neo-Scud Serve. He nodded reluctantly.
"Tell me, Ryou." Ryuu leaned forward. "Do you really, as in really, like her? As in, you would do anything to make her happy?"
Now Ryou had to stop and think about his answer. Does he really like Choutarou? That was easy to answer. Of course he does. But does he like the younger teen in a more platonic way?
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging out, girl
Are we just friends, or is there more
Is there more?
'Shishido-san! Let's eat out!' Choutarou said to him after practice one day. Shishido agreed readily, but with a teasing remark, 'But you're paying this time, Choutarou.'
The second year pouted slightly, and it made Shishido laugh. He didn't want to admit it, but Choutarou looks... adorable. 'No fair, Shishido-san!' He protested, turning those puppy eyes on him. 'You told me that it's your treat today!'
Oh crap. Shishido felt his face heat up, stupefied.
'Fine, fine, my treat then.' He relented, shaking himself out of his momentary stupor. He was completely and throughly dazzled. Choutarou smiled happily. 'Thanks, Shishido-san!'
By the time they finished eating, it was already past dusk. Shishido insisted on accompanying his kouhai home, in which, this time, Choutarou was the one who gave in. Both of them walked side by side, letting the comfortable silence come in between them as they passed the destered streets. Their arms brushed against each other, and Shishido felt the blood pool into his cheeks, feeling the warmth of Choutarou's body through his tennis jacket. He sneaked a look beside his kouhai and found that the tall teenager was looking away from him, his cheeks tinted with red.
An awkward understanding passed through them. It made Shishido a little bit relieved to find that his kouhai was feeling the same at that moment. Just as they thought that things can't get possibly more awkward for them, fate chose to let the back of their hands touch.
It was perhaps the electrifying moment in Shishido's life. It lasted only for a second, but for him it was an eternity. The tough sent a pleasant shock to his system. Feeling a little bold, he stepped closer to his kouhai, with their jacket sleeves lightly touching. Almost hesitantly, he let his relaxed fingers to move forward.
Slowly, but surely, he felt Choutarou's fingers twine slowly with his own, forming a bond stronger and deeper than anything they had ever had before. It scared him.
But at the same time, as they walked together with only their fingers linked, he welcomed it as well.
"Uh-huh, I thought so." Ryuu mostly said to himself as he saw his younger brother's glassy-eyed expression. Dear God, his brother really was a lovesick idiot.
Better wake him up from his dreamland. The idiot's going to be late for school.
Which came on the form of a hand smacking the back of a smaller brown head.
"OW! The hell, asshole?!"
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Ryou. God, you're just fourteen and you already know about that..." Ryuu rolled his eyes, internally smirking at his brother suddenly spluttering at the mere thought.
"I'm not thinking about that, you goddamned pervert!" Ryou blushed brightly, glaring at his brother. "Anyway, are you going to help me or not?!"
"The answer is actually simple, Ryou." Ryuu stood up and made to whisk the emptied plates away. "You want to confess, right? Then do something that your crush would never expect you to do. And don't bother with a love letter, dimwit-" Ryuu interrupted when the younger opened his mouth to respond. "That's way too cliche. And don't bother with the flowers and chocolates and all. It looks like to me that your crush is the shy type. Don't go all out. You're going to scare him away."
"And what, my dear asshole of a brother, should I do then?" The capped teen asked through his clenched teeth.
"Figure it out, Ryou." Ryuu snorted at him. "And better mosey, lil bro. Clock's ticking." He gave a glance to the kitchen wall.
"Wha- Oh, shit! I'm gonna be late!" The younger Shishido saw the time and quickly rocketed out of his chair, grabbing his tennis bag and school bag on the way.
"I hate you, Ryuu!" The teen called out hatefully.
"I love you too, Ryou!" Ryuu answered cheekily. The older stared at the door in which his short brother had dissapeared to, chuckling. The chuckles disspeared, only to form a small, affectionate smile.
Go for it, Ryou.
Damn that stupid, moronic, sonofabitch asshole-ly brother of mine... Shishido thought darkly as he walked the halls of Hyotei Gakuen. He just had to be stupid for one measly second. What on hell possessed him to ask his brother for some love advice?! And that just got him humiliated and empty-handed to boot. He was never going to ask for his brother's help again. EVER.
Cursing his older brother to the deepest depths of hell, he went straight to tennis practice, muttering darkly to himself. By the time he had arrived, the rest of the regulars are already warming up.
"Oi Shishido! What the hell took you so long?! Atobe's bitching already!" Mukahi Gakuto yelled at him the moment he stepped into the tennis court. He scowled back in greeting, flipping off the acrobat. Gakuto folded his arms and glared at the capped teen. "What the hell crawled up your ass today, Shishido? Did Choutarou finally see light and decided to abandon you as his doubles partner?"
"Shut up, Gakuto." Ryou muttered, suddenly feeling very worried at that thought. Would Choutarou really abandon him if he told his feelings? The idea was almost unbearable.
"Don't say that, Gakuto." Oshitari Yuushi drawled out, draping one arm casually over the redhead's shoulder, apparently not seeing the bright blush that suddenly spread over Gakuto's face. "Ootori and Shishido are one of the best doubles team that we have. They are, shall we say, the... 'Silver Pair' of Hyotei Gakuen." Oshitari paused, and seeing the look on his doubles partner's face, he added with a smirk, "Only second to us, of course."
"Yeah yeah, whatever Oshitari." Shishido was too preoccupied with his thoughts to really listen. He was still stuggling on whether to confess or not. Oshitari raised an eyebrow in slight surprise. Shishido was, for once, not defending his and Choutarou's still unbeatable tennis combination. Oshitari was interested at this development.
"Shishido-san! You came!" Shishido stiffened at the call of his kouhai. He felt his body tense, feeling that familiar flight-or-fight response. He could almost see Choutarou walking briskly towards him, with that silly little smile on his face whenever they would face each other. The sound of footsteps were getting closer, and Shishido could only stay frozen as his kouhai was close to reaching him.
"Ah, I see." Oshitari said softly, the smirk on his face getting wider by each second. The look on Shishido's face was almost comical to look at. Shishido glared at him, but it was only half-hearted. Sheer desperation was on his face, and, while the blue-haired teen wasn't a sadist, he rather enjoyed the sight of Shishido literally squirming in front of him.
"Gakuto, let's go." He tugged on the smaller teen's maroon hair lightly, moving away as the tall second year took their place.
Good luck, Shishido. He laughed out loud.
"Yuushi? What's wrong?"
"Nothing... you look cute today, Gakuto."
Traitor! Shishido yelled in his mind as the pair left to do their own devices. Damn Oshitari, he noticed. Bloody asshole. Scowling deeply again, he turned, only to find himself colliding with a larger body. He grapsed the other's arms tightly, holding that other person close, preventing his fall in the process.
Slowly, Shishido looked up to see warm chocolate brown eyes. His heart stopped for a moment. Everything around him melted into a muted cacophony, and his senses were sharpened to the point that he could distinctly hear his kouhai's racing heartbeat. There was literally nothing between them, with Shishido holding his kouhai so closely to himself, Choutarou's body heat seeping into his clothes.
"Choutarou." Tentatively he reached towards his kouhai's face. He had to make sure he wasn't dreaming. That Choutarou was literally in his arms, and he wasn't pulling away.
"Shishido-san..." He whispered back, closing his eyes and sighing as his senpai's larger, calloused hand lightly grazed along his cheeks. Shishido wasn't dreaming. This was real.
It was now or never.
Do something that your crush would never expect you to do.
You see it's a chance we've gotta take,
'Cause I believe
That we can make this into something that will last forever
Oh, to hell with it!
"I was gazing over the court bathed in twilight," He started to sing quietly. "And my regrets were dyed crimson."
Choutarou's eyes widened in suprise. His senpai... was serenading to him?
The pride I sensed from my wavering back had taught me how to live.
"I won't lose to the ever changing rhythm of time. Not until I grasp in my hand true strength."
In this place where the wind blows through, the door to infinity opens.
"Everyone loses their way when searching for answers."
The seasons we spent together will never fade in my mind.
"Let's continue searching for the place we're aiming for, endless though it may be."
"Brand new my days, Choutarou." Shishido finished his song, saying the last line instead of singing it. "Please." He said quietly. Choutarou was speechless.
Then Shishido reached up and kissed him.
"This is so going on youtube..." A young man cackled, holding a video camera close.
"It's about time the world knows about your singing talent, 'lil bro..."
"Ryuu!!! I'm gonna fucking kill you!!! Why the hell is my confession to Choutarou in the Internet?! Asshole!"
"But Ryooooooooou... look at it, bro! It has 10 million views! And some media companies are calling in already! You're becoming famous!"
"YOU ARE SO GONNA DIE, RYUU!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!"
"I LOVE YOU TOO, RYOU~!"
I added an OC, and I hope you liked it, Nana.