SCREAM AND SCRAM

Ah…everyone's just crazy… xD

Ichigo swallowed hard.

He blinked and wearily watched the captains gathered in front of him.

So they wanna fight him huh…

Then again… WHY? Of all unlucky person in Soul Society why must it be him?

He can't remember messing with anyone this much! And for what? A piece of shit to be signed?

He never should have butted with the Kuchiki business… whenever he does, he can always see his right foot stepping close on his grave.

"Shit." He muttered eyeing Mayuri closely.

Why's that freak after me? He questioned himself, I did nothing! He's completely insane…I had enough insane people after me already!

He eyed Kenpachi next.

Why's he after me? He doubled question himself. Because he's insane that's all.

Ichigo silently nodded to himself in agreement.

His eyes then turned to Byakuya and a spark of nausea launched on his stomach.

He's after me coz he think I've molested his little sister with no apparent evidence except having her on the floor! That's totally ridiculous! I mean Rukia's a chick but she's as strong as me! Who in their right mind would hit on her?

His eyes then searched for Rukia who was silently standing behind his brother looking bewildered. They made eye contact.

'You stupid, stupid girl! You brought this onto me!' Ichigo eyed the message to Rukia who seemed to understand. She made a face and eye contact which seemed to say, 'Idiot fool! Why are you blaming me! You brought this upon yourself!'

'Then the least you could do is help me out!'

'How?'

'Distract your brother! Anything! And then I'll scram away from this place and live happily on my home!'

Rukia frowned. And then she nodded.

Ichigo was about to nod when he felt a coming attack and dodged with a shriek.

The attack hit a mountain and it crumbled to pieces with a loud bang.

Ichigo looked at his attacker.

Kenpachi.

Trouble trouble…

Kenpachi eyed Ichigo evilly added with a murderous look.

"You're spacing out, Kurosaki… You wanna die that much?"

"Shit head," murmured Ichigo. There was a coming blast from his backside and Ichigo jumped away to dodge. He looked at his second attacker and saw Mayuri, looking at him viciously.

"You're all insane!" Ichigo cried, jumping down the ground, "Three captains against me? I'm worthy that much huh?"

Three pairs of eyebrows rose at his comment.

I've hit a nerve. Ichigo thought triumphantly with a smirk although at the back of his mind he knew it was a bad idea/.

"You are too proud, Kurosaki Ichigo." Byakuya said in a cold demeanor, "You are asking for a much early death."

"But he's right." said Kenpachi, looking at Byakuya and Yayuri, "I can handle him on my own. You shitheads go and scram."

Uh-oh.

Byakuya's aura change from cold to icy cold. He made a dagger eye contact with Kenpachi.

"You have not the liberty to address me so informally, you low life."

"Huh?" Kenpachi raised his eyebrows "What did you say?"

"You chickens should run away while you still can. The Ryoka's mine." Mayuri hissed dangerously.

The three captains turned at each other.

Ichigo blinked. Oh. He was clearly left out.

Maybe it was a good time to escape?

"Don't move from where you are standing, Kurosaki." came Byakuya's warning and Ichigo knew why. Even though they were not looking at him, he could feel their very attention still on his movements. If he moved a single step he knew he'd die.

Crap.

He turned a look at Rukia who nodded at him. She was ready for anything and dropped herself on the ground.

Ichigo's eyes bulged, his jaws dropped open.

What the hell is she doing?

Byakuya looked behind him.

"Ugh..." Rukia moaned while clutching her stomach, "It hurts… my stomach…"

"Don't turn your back on me!" Kenpachi attacked suddenly from Byakuya's right. Byakuya turned with his sword at hand, meeting Kenpachi's blow head on with a furious look on his face.

They exchanged blows with incredible force and everything around them flew away, including Rukia who was faking her stomach pain. Byakuya only manage to look sideways but Kenpachi was keeping his hands full to jump after his sister.

Ichigo had seconds to think as he jumped to grab her.

What the hell was wrong with Kenpachi? Attacking so suddenly like that…but like hell… Kenpachi wouldn't care for a crap…

"Rukia!" he shouted reaching toward her flying body.

He had almost reached her when her body disappeared. Ichigo blinked.

What the-?

"This doesn't look fun at all." said a familiar voice.

Ichigo jumped down the ground and looked up a tree branch where the voice had come from.

"Yoruichi!"

Yoruichi stood straight with Rukia on her arms. She was knocked out.

"My my… your brother is pretty intense, Kuchiki-san."

She looked down the battlefield; Byakuya and Kenpachi were engage in a very mad battle. She then turned to Ichigo.

"You better get your ass ready." she told him.

Ichigo frowned.

"What are you—"

A blade slashed passed his neck.

"What the hell!" he shouted, kneeling on the ground with Mayuri standing before him, "Can't you tell I'm busy you asshole!"

"Stand up you undisciplined human!" Mayuri said coldly, "Those idiots are out of my league. You are mine after all."

Ichigo felt the hairs at the end of his neck standing up.

"Quit saying that you pervert!" He shouted back. He got on his feet and realized his sword was not on his hands. Shit.

"If I'm gonna fight you, will you at least let me have my sword?"

"It's your fault you lost it." said Mayuri grimly, "And it wouldn't make a difference if you had it, you despicable breathing-thing."

Ichigo took it as a 'no'.

"This is not fair…" he mumbled, looking for a way out.

"Don't talk about being fair in front of me." muttered Mayuri darkly, "You think it was fair when you trampled down and wasted my experiment in a blink of an eye? The experiment I had worked my life for to stand up proud in front of that sandal-fool-Kisuke Uruhara? D'you think it was all fair that he was smarter than me? What a fool you are."

Ichigo blinked innocently.

"…uh … what experiment?"

A vein popped on Mayuri's head.

"My EXPERIMENT! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"I can't remember any experiment!" Ichigo cried as he run around with Mayuri slashing and wielding his sword behind him.

"You'll do well to remember!" screamed Mayuri like a demented bat, "So that when your soul is send anywhere you can tell anyone the reason of your death!"

"Stop already!"

He tumbled down and continued crawling away.

As he crawled on the ground he noticed a feet blocking his way. He stopped and looked up slowly. He saw captain Unohana staring down at him.

"Uh…" Ichigo scrambled to get up. Behind him, Mayuri had stopped attacking.

Captain Unohana just stared at him for a second. She then raised her palms on his forehead and muttered, "You have caused enough damage for one day."

The last thing Ichigo remembered was a flash of white light and he was gone.

T T T T T T T T T T

Ichigo felt an aching sensation on his forehead.

God… who the hell knocked him down? His pop? Karin? Rukia? Who?

He could hear a voice whispering beside him… no…not whispering… more like shouting…

"…Wake up, dumbass!"

Ichigo grabbed Renji by the collar and shouted with his spit flying everywhere.

"I'm awake, moron!"

"How ugly…" muttered someone.

Ichigo looked around and saw Yumichika looking at him in disgust from the doorway. Ikkaku was beside him and was watching Ichigo half heartedly.

"What are you guys doing here in my room?" Ichigo asked frowning.

"Ch..!" snickered Renji as he brushed Ichigo's hands away from his collar, "So you feel this is your room huh?"

Ichigo blinked then looked around.

The whole room was definitely not his with everything white from the last mantel. It looked like a hospital ward.

"Kurosaki-kun!"

Ichigo looked at the door and saw Hanatarou coming in with a basin of water on his hands.

"What's going on?" Ichigo asked more confused.

"Can't you remember?" asked Renji, "You were knocked down cold."

Ichigo stared at Renji. Suddenly he remembered.

"It was captain Unohana too." Hanatarou supplied the silence happily as he put the basin down.

Ichigo remembered her alright.

"You did well to collapse." said Yumichika grinning suddenly that made Ichigo make a face. "The fight stopped. I wonder what'll happen if you die. Probably universal peace."

"Shut your mouth!" growled Ichigo as he stood up.

"Are you feeling alright now, Kurosaki-kun?"

"I'm fine." snapped Ichigo looking at Renji.

"What exactly happened-"

"After he collapsed-" added Yumichika evilly.

"Yeah, after I collap- damn it! Shut up!"

"Captain Byakuya and Captain Zaraki stopped fighting when Captain Unohana and her squad came." Renji related, looking down at Ichigo, "They were really engage in a battle I must say, Soukyoku Hill was not the same with holes all over the place. Captain Byakuya was mad for some reason and when he left you could clearly see death in his eyes."

"That's coz Kenpachi attacked Rukia." said Ichigo flatly.

"Yeah, well it's her fault lying around in the first place." said Yumichika impassively.

"It could have been a good fight." said Ikkaku suddenly, "I can imagine our Captain having the time of his life with Captain Byakuya."

"In a manner of fighting," added Yumichika wrinkling his nose, "What you said was ambiguous… it could mean another thing."

"What's the other thing?" drawled Ikkaku looking at Yumichika.

Yumichika grinned.

"Well… you could say it's an 'affair'."

Ikkakyu and the rest of the boys blinked.

"Oh you are all pathetic." sighed Yumichika shooking his head.

There was a moment of silence-

"What happened to Mayuri?" Ichigo suddenly remembered. If Captain Unohana didn't arrive he would have been running around with the mad guy until this moment.

"Oh, he disappeared." Renji answered, "Just after you were knocked down."

"He clearly doesn't want to have any interaction with Captain." said Hanatarou thoughtfully, "I wonder if it has something to do with the Captain confronting him about using her subjects as guinea pig for his experiments…"

"I know a certain person who was scolded by her." said Yumichika, nudging Ikkaku beside him.

Ikkaku gave him a piercing look before looking away.

Ichigo sighed. "What happened to Rukia anyway?"

"At the Kuchiki household, resting." Said Renji, "Come to think of it, I need to visit her…"

He looked pointedly at Ichigo.

"What?" Ichigo frowned.

"You can't come."

"As if I would!"

"Tsk tsk… you really have no heart for your girl." Yumichika drawled, shrugging his shoulders.

"She ain't my girl." said Ichigo stubbornly; she's not even a girl…

"I should be going." said Renji importantly.

"Yeah, thanks for worrying about me, you guys…" said Ichigo half smiling.

"You are welcome, Kurosaki-kun!" said Hanatarou delightedly.

But the rest of the boys were all staring at him in a funny way.

Ichigo knew he had said the wrong words… these fellows…

"Worry about you?" Yumichika snickered.

"Go to hell." said Ikkaku.

"As if you needed anyone to worry about you, dumbass." muttered Renji eyeing him.

A nerve twitched at the back of Ichigo's head.

"Then why are you all here?" he said through gritted teeth.

"Wishing you on your death bed." Yumichika glowered with honesty.

"Well… they said Captain Unohana had finished you off…" Ikkaku's words trailed on, "I was checking if she did a bit of slicing…"

I knew it… Thought Ichigo exasperatedly. He turned his eyes on Renji who blinked and said,

"Captain Byakuya sends you his regrets for not killing you earlier. He said he'll do it sooner so you don't have to worry."

Ichigo pressed a tight smile. This bunch of assholes

He turned a faithful smile to Hanatarou who smiled openly at him and said,

"The Captain said not to let you off the Hospital Ward because you'll be receiving her punishment for provoking all the Captains."

Ichigo felt using his bankai to kill the bunch of fools in front of him.

And use it he did.

-A day later-

"Yo! IcchiIIiiiIIigooo!"

Keigo jumped out of the classroom on to Ichigo's arms. He then found himself flying outside as Ichigo threw him off the window.

"YeoowwWW~"

"He's as energetic as ever." smiled Mizuiro who was standing on the doorway.

"He's a pain in the butt." muttered Ichigo as he walked on to the classroom.

"Kurosaki-kun!" waved Orihime brightly.

"Ah." nodded Ichigo.

He slumped himself down his chair and sighed. His weekend was full of shit.

Orihime had walked over and peered at him closely.

"Are you alright, Kurosaki-kun?"

"Mmm…" mumbled Ichigo not moving. Orihime blinked.

"Oh yes," she started again, "Why is Kuchiki-san not with you?"

Ichigo glanced briefly at Rukia's empty seat. His whole body ached.

"Damn…" he muttered looking ahead again, "She's back on her own house."

"Eh? But why? Did something happen? Is she not coming to the trip?"

"I dunno…Lots of things happened…" mumbled Ichigo, "Like usual her brother's a pain in the butt."

Orihime blinked.

Somebody appeared behind Ichigo and then strangled him- head lock.

"Oil!" Ichigo growled.

Keigo had reappeared and had his arms around Ichigo's neck.

"What did you do to Kuchiki-san!"

"What do you mean 'did to her'?" choked Ichigo, grabbing Keigo by the head and throwing him off. "You asshole! Are you trying to kill me?"

"'Killing' is an overstatement." said someone from the doorway. Ishida had appeared with Sado.

Ichigo threw him a dirty look. He then slumped back on his seat and sighed with a frown on his face.

Then there was Keigo again.

"Is it true Kuchiki-san's at her brother's house?"

Ichigo didn't respond.

"Did he approve of you?"

Ichigo made a face.

Chad came and grabbed Keigo by the collar. "You are too curious, Keigo."

Keigo slumped back on his seat.

"Well, curiosity kills me." he muttered.

Their teacher entered the room and Ichigo was glad his peace was back. He eyed Rukia's chair and made a face.

"All right, everyone?" started their sensei, "I'm going to collect your permission slip for the trip. Pass it forward, if you may."

Ichigo sighed. Rukia's effort and his near death experience were all for nothing then… She was late…

"All slips in?" the teacher asked the class, "Whose not here yet?"

"Well," started Orihime, half glancing on Ichigo's direction, "Kuchiki-san…"

"Hm?" said the sensei looking around, "What's with Kuchiki?"

Ichigo closed his eyes.

"I'm here!" said a voice.

Ichigo shot his eyes on the doorway as it opened revealing Rukia looking flustered.

"Kuchiki-san!" exclaimed Orihime happily.

Ichigo blinked. "Rukia…you…"

Rukia was red in the face and she was breathing unevenly. It looked as if she ran the marathon.

"Kuchiki, where's your slip?" asked the teacher holding her hand out.

Rukia swallowed.

"Allow me." said a deep voice that clearly wasn't stranger for Ichigo. His jaw dropped.

Someone was standing behind Rukia and as she went out of the way, the person wearing a black tuxedo entered the room with an air of coolness with him.

"No way…" muttered Ishida, his eyes opening wide. Chad and Orihime had the same expression.

"B-Byakuya!" said Ichigo in an alarming tone as he stood up from his chair. I'm going to get killed

Byakuya entered the room silently with every sign of aristocracy with him. He eyed the female teacher and handed from his side pocket a letter.

"This is Kuchiki Rukia's permission letter to attend the excursion you will be holding. I am giving you full responsibility of my sister and trusting everything will be well taken care of."

"Ah…yes…" mumbled their sensei getting pink as she took the slip from Byakuya.

There where whistles and love-cries from the class. Every female seemed love-struck by this cool, good looking fellow. Indeed, shapes of hearts started to fill the atmosphere, even the boys had to admire.

"Woow.."

"He's beautiful…"

"Who is he?"

"Is he from Hollywood?"

"Didn't you hear? Kuchiki-san's older brother!"

"They look so much alike!"

There were shrieks and faints as Byakuya lowered his eyes over the whole class.

Ichigo grabbed Rukia aside as the class started to crowd around Byakuya.

"What the hell is going on?" he snapped.

Rukia crossed her arms to think with a funny expression.

"I dunno what happened." she said as she made a face, "He suddenly wanted to give it himself when I told him about it."

"But bringing Byakuya here?"

"Don't worry, he's already over about your fight and I've explained everything to him." said Rukia shrugging.

Ichigo let out a relief sigh. He wasn't going to be killed after all…

Out of no where, a familiar voice floated…

"…so you should give him a try! I mean he's a good fellow even though he's a bit of a pervert at times… I usually see Ichigo staring at Kuchiki-san from time to time! But isn't that romantic? If I were you, nii-chan, I'll put my guard down and let him into the family! I swear he dreams of nothing but kissing your sister in his sleep…"

Ichigo turned his head slowly and saw Keigo talking to Byakuya and his jaw dropped.

Byakuya's eyes started to twitch.

"OI!" Ichigo screamed, reaching out and grabbing Keigo by the wrist. With great force he threw Keigo out of the window. "You're going to get me killed!"

Keigo had gone on to where the moon was located.

Ichigo was breathing heavily. Shit…shithead…

A deadly force suddenly made his whole body shake. He knew without looking that Byakuya had his eyes lingering on him.

Oh shit… Well…at least Kenpachi and Mayuri weren't there…

(Back at the Kurosaki House)

Karin stared dully at a huge person sitting across her from the dining table. The person was a man, wearing a black shirt and baggy pants. His hair was spiked and behind him a little child was clinging.

Yuzu happily set a tea in front of him.

"Please have a drink." She said smiling.

Kenpachi looked at the tea and then up at Karin.

"Are you a girl or a boy?" he asked.

"I'm a girl." said Karin with level eyes, "and why are you here again?"

"I'm looking for Kurosaki."

"I am Kurosaki." said Karin.

"The boy Kurosaki."

"He's still at school." smiled Yuzu, "He'll be back later."

"Then I'll wait for him."

"Don't you think this is breaking and entering?" suggested Karin, looking over their wreaked wall that Kenpachi used as door.

Silence filled her words.

"Ken-chan d'you wanna run around and look for Ichigo?" asked a pink headed kid behind him.

"Be quite over there…and you're ruining my clothes."

Karin and Yuzu looked at each other.

(Up the stairs on Ichigo's room)

Ichigo's room was dark. On the floor however, Kon was tied to the back and had a tape over his mouth. He was crying and mumbling but nobody can't hear or figure out what he was saying. He was sniffing as he looked wildly over the bed where a man was sitting down, waiting.

"Kukuku… I won't let you slip, you despicable boy…" Mayuri's words and laugh filled Kon with fear.

And Ichigo doesn't know of the predicament waiting for him at home as he skipped and run with Byakuya after him.

"Why am I always in trouble for other people's doing!" he screamed as he scrammed away looking for a way out.

But we all know there isn't one ;)

~END~