This is just a crack fic concerning the two characters Souji and Chie. This idea just popped in my head out of nowhere, and I felt obliged to write it down. Considering I've never written a humor fic before so it may seem a little awkward at first. Why did I choose Souji and Chie as the two main characters in this oneshot? Because I thought each would play their roles perfectly, at least in my opinion. This doesn't mean this story is about the Souji X Chie pairing. So, enjoy!
Disclaimer: ATLUS claims all the good things.
Warning : Terribly OOC, I think?
A very seemingly troubled teenager paced around for like the umpteenth time that day in the North Shopping District, and sighed several times in an attempt to find a conclusion to his trouble. He stopped in front of a barbar shop, and continuously rubbed his eyes in vain. But still, the sign taped on the door was real, and could never disappear, as far as he would know.
Barbar Shop closed down for the time being. Will reopen in two months.
The silverette groaned and crouched on his knees. He was looking forward to this day, the day where he could finally cut his bangs shorter so he could see more clearly. It was getting too long, and he couldn't cut them himself, in fear of wrecking his cool and leader-like image. He thought to at least refrain them from always getting into his eyes. But alas, the one and only barbar shop in Inaba was CLOSED. For TWO WHOLE MONTHS. Imagine how long his bangs would be in that duration of time. He was sure it would already cover his eyes. Damn Inaba for being so darn puny! The city he was from would have barbar shops at every corner.
A few minutes ago, he had taken the bus all the way to the Amagi Inn, just to ask if Yukiko or the staff inn could give him a haircut. It was a lame request indeed, but these bangs were killing him. The raven-haired girl stared in disbelief at the silverette and fanned herself slowly, trying to get over what she just heard. Then with her oh so sweet voice, she said, "I'm sorry, but our Inn doesn't provide a barbar shop for the unkempt. But there's one in the Shopping District. Though I think it is closed down for the time being. As for me, I'm... not really good at trimming and cutting hair. Or you might want to ask the others. Perhaps Yosuke-kun will be available."
"Yosuke-kun it is." Souji thought blearily and walked to Junes, where he hoped the brunette could help his best friend in times of need. Surely his closest friend wouldn't abandon him in misery.
The familiar tune of Junes kept repeating over and over until Souji's head felt like it would exploded into a thousand pieces. The leader found Yosuke stacking up on some house equipment and Souji lumbered over to him until he stood about two centimeters right behind the chestnut haired youth and waited patiently until Yosuke was finished.
After a while, the brunette mumbled a 'Finally done.' and turned around to get a shock of his life. There stood a mishap and miserable Souji, who looked ready to float to Heaven at any second. Yosuke shrieked a very girly shriek and tripped backwards, only stopping ever so slightly at the neat stack he had worked so hard on. People all around him were gazing at him with amused looks. After he had regained his balance he dragged the silverette upstairs to the more private section and released him with a hint of embarrassment on his cheeks. "Dude, were you trying to rip the life outta me!? What the hell were you doing standing there speechless behind me like a ghost?"
The dazed Souji then asked -more precisely demanded-, "... Cut my bangs, Yosuke."
The Junes boy was found almost in the same condition as Yukiko, yet a bit more composed. "Cut... your bangs? Why?"
Souji played dully with his tresses. "They're hindering my eyesight."
"But you look pretty cool with that bowlcut hair of yours. It's gonna be a shame to cut that. And why're you asking me of all people, partner?"
"... Because the only barbar shop in town is CLOSED!!! Why doesn't this freakin' town build another one? Is it that hard?" Souji whined.
Yosuke frowned. "Dude. This isn't the city. This is Inaba. Inaba is a small town, with not that many people living in it. Why bother having too many barbar shops?"
"Junes is enough to make people move here. And the Amagi Inn."
The brunette waved his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay. I get it. If you want me to cut your bangs so badly, then I'll do it. Just don't complain if I'm unlike those professional hairdressers from where you come from. I'm just a normal kid who cuts a dude's hair, just because he forced me to."
He pulled out a seat and sat the hopeful Souji down on it. "Wait a minute, I'll get scissors."
The Junes boy ran off somewhere and came back with the item. Just when he was about to take a snippet of Souji's hair, a realization struck the Leader's head.
The scissor paused in mid-air. "What's the matter? Having second thoughts?"
"No... Not really. I just wanna ask. Where'd you cut your own hair?"
"Me?" Yosuke touched his light-brown strands on his head and grinned proudly. "I cut them myself. That's why it looks so darn handsome, don'tcha think?"
Looks pretty darn stupid to me. "Oh... You cut them yourself? So that's why it's so disheveled..."
"Sorry partner, I didn't catch the last part. What was it?"
"Um..." Souji thought frantically for a reply. "N-No, nothing's wrong." He already imagined himself looking like a Yosuke-clone, the only difference was the hair color. He would be a silver haired Yosuke clone. He shivered heavily. He would rather spend a thousand years not having a haircut than having to have hair like Yosuke's.
"So can I continue?"
"Now that you think about it, I do have second thoughts. M-Maybe next time. S-Seeya!" And with that he shot out of the stool and raced away, leaving a stunned -and very angry- Yosuke rooted to the spot.
The silverette was so on Yosuke's blacklist.
After being snapped out of his dreadful flashback, he walked away from the Shopping District and mindlessly kicked pebbles in the Samegawa FloodPlains. He planned on going back home, since there was nothing left he could do. These bangs would stick on for much longer than he expected.
"Hiyah! Eat this, you disgusting black... squiggly worms!"
A familiar voice rang loudly across the Floodplains, and Souji could easily guess whose voice it belonged to. "Chie?"
The young silverette glanced down the steps to the riverbed, where he saw a figure fighting an imaginary creature with her unique 'martial arts'. She was extremely hyper today, though she was always like that everyday.
Souji thought it wouldn't hurt to strike up a conversation with Chie. It was obviously better than drowning into the deep depths of boredom at his Uncle's house. Nanako, his sweet young cousin, was out going to some friend's house. At first Souji offered to accompany her, but the pigtailed girl shook her head and refused. Souji sighed at the recent memory. Little girls these days are so intelligent. Or was it just Nanako?
The soft tapping of Souji's shoes descending the steps made the focused brunette snap out of her kicking frenzy and turned to see her familiar Leader walking down those steps. The expression on his face was unusual. It had boredom, stress, and misery combined into one expression. She could see that this was clearly not the best day of Souji's life.
"Souji-kun! Hi there!" The short-haired brunette yelled.
Souji nodded with a forced smile. "I see you're having a good day."
"A good day? I do this thing every single day," Chie frowned as she studied the Souji's face. "... But this definitely isn't one of the best days in your life. Why the long face?"
"Nothing," He replied grimly and thought of another subject to talk about. He totally wasn't going to let Chie take advantage of him. "Are you finished with your training yet?"
"Oh, sure I have. I was practicing my grand finale just now." She grinned and showed her white teeth.
Grand... Finale? Souji felt a small trickle of sweat underneath his brow. "O-okay... Wanna go somewhere?"
Souji's efforts to change the subject failed miserably. "Tell me what's wrong first."
"It's nothing that you can help out with. It's nothing anyone can help out with." The silverette answered curtly. He began taking walking back up to the Samegawa road. But before he could reach the top, Chie reached it first with long strides despite her short figure and stepped in front of Souji, blocking him before he could walk any further. "You tell me what's wrong, and I'll let you pass."
Souji was quiet as he silently studied Chie's moves, and tried to find a way to escape. The trained Chie took notice, and Souji failed in trying to flee as she blocked every opportunity to escape. He gave up and said, "Alright, fine. I'll tell you what's wrong. Just make a way for me to get through and I'll tell you."
She hesitantly complied and eyed the Leader with wariness in her hazel orbs. She walked pace in pace, stride for stride beside Souji, and impatiently waited for her answer. "So?"
The silverette sighed and pointed to his hair. "This."
"Why? They look pretty normal to me." Chie commented, a bit confused.
"My bangs are getting too long. I need someone to cut it for me, but the only barbar shop in town in closed, Yukiko refused to cut my hair and Yosuke threw me out of Junes because of it." The last part was a complete lie, but Souji chose not to say this. He didn't care if Yosuke would be angry if he knew what Souji had said behind his back, because Souji was sure that he was already on Yosuke's shit list.
"Why don't you cut it yourself? City boy can't do it?" Chie half-mocked.
The silverette's eyes flashed Chie an icy glare. "If I cut them, it'll totally ruin my image."
"... And you're going to ask me for help?" The brunette looked skeptical.
"I never asked you. You're the one who forced me to say it." Souji narrowed his eyes.
"Well, if that's what you want, then I'll do it for you!" Chie said energetically, ignoring the silverette's protests.
Chie was scary. Not just in martial-arts, but in almost everything she did. Souji shivered as he remembered the time Chie delivered a critical hit to Yosuke's... nads. Yosuke looked as if he was in tremendous pain. Something that Souji did not want to be.
... So what'll happen if Chie cut Souji's hair?
It was going to be a nightmare come true.
"Nooooo!!!! Chie, no! Forget what I said earlier, there's NOTHING wrong! Everything's absolutely fine!" The silverette stuttered in panic and tried to run away but was held tight by Chie's strong hands, which gripped him with no mercy.
"You're not goin' ANYWHERE." Her voice was as frightening as ever. All Souji could do was whimper.
"Um... what do you think you're doing?" An attentive Souji glanced at Chie alarmingly. Poor Souji was tied up against a television set Chie pulled down from three which served as a portal to the real world. "Why in the world are we in the TV WORLD? Are you nuts?"
The brunette rubbed her hands together in triumph. "No, I'm perfectly normal. Now I'm gonna give you a total makeover!"
The silverette swallowed hard. "Ch-Chie? Are you sure you're not affected by Rise? And..." Souji nudged the tight ropes encircling around him with his body, his hand tied in place. "Why'd you have to tie me up? You know this is indecent, right? And why do I have a really bad feeling about this?"
"Nah, it's just your imagination. Teddie!" Chie called out to a certain bear hiding behind the two remaining stacks of television sets.
The bear peeked from the edge and trembled. "Wh-What are you going to do to sensei? D-D-Don't kill him!"
"Don't worry. Well, here goes!" Chie winked a card appeared out of nowhere and floated gently on her hand before she spun around and kicked it full-force with a deafening pierce. "Tomoe Gozen! Come out!"
Souji and Teddie were paralyzed with shock as they stared bewilderingly at the summoned persona before them. Souji's eyes were wide, while Teddie's round ones were much wider. What in the hell was she summoning her persona for!? All Souji wanted was a nice and normal cut with scissors. Why has fate chosen this for him?
Chie grinned and pointed a finger at the petrified leader. "Charge! Bufula combined slash attack!"
Tomoe complied obediently and charged, her spear high up in the air, and blue particles formed at the tip of her spear. Souji was unable to think, all he could do was pray silently to himself. Have I met my end? Please... no... NOO!!
A loud BAAM rang in the air, followed by thick smoke surrounding the area, or more specifically, Souji's head. The young man scrunched his eyes shut, and already had visions of what Heaven might look like when he rested in peace. Souji couldn't feel any of his companion's presence, Chie and Teddie were nowhere to be felt. The smoke was too thick. Perhaps he was already taken by the Death Reaper? He was confused as to why he could still feel himself full, with no missing arms or legs. Or his head, in this matter. "Lord... forgive my condescension. Let me have eternal peace in your wondrous, heavenly realm with no such things as shadows... or TV worlds..."
"Oi! Open your eyes already! You're not dead yet!" A finger flicked his forehead and he jerked out of his blabbering nonsense.
He opened his eyes carefully and tried to adjust to his surroundings, where the heavy smoke finally lifted and revealed two figures. Something seemed off, though. It was still the TV world. Or did Heaven just look like the TV world? No, this can't be happening. "This... isn't Heaven, is it?"
Chie stared at him as if he was the weirdest person she had ever seen. "Well, of course not, you dope! You're still alive! It's not like I was trying to murder you or anything! That'd just make me the same as that heartless killer!"
"So I'm... still alive? Thank god..." Souji inhaled deeply, which made Chie even more irritated, but she concealed it as best as she could. Another thing felt different about him. His usually overlapped bangs felt damp and... lesser?
He wiggled out of the already loose ropes and stumbled before standing up, his uniform and hair completely drenched and dripping constantly to the ground. His eyesight also improved. Now he could look at any direction he pleased without having to brush away his bangs. But, how? He walked over to a blank TV and stared in awe at his own reflection.
He touched his newly cut hair in disbelief. It was none like the other hairdressers who cut them. It was always a bowl-cut, and nothing else. He needed a change, and Chie was his unexpected savior. The only problem was that he also looked alot like someone. "Is... Is this me?"
"Yep! How is it?" Chie asked nervously from behind him. She was clutching her hands behind her back and was tapping her foot for a comment.
"It's... cool. Although..." Souji felt a cold trickle of sweat running down his spine. "Is it just me, or do I look a lot like you, Chie?"
"Huh? Really?" Her face contorted into a look of shock and quickly turned the flabbergasted Souji to face her. "A... Ah..."
It was true. His hair was shaped in complete coincidence to that of Chie's, the only difference was the hair color. "Chie... How could you do this to me...?" He fell down on his knees and covered his face in shame. "There is absolutely no way I am going like this to school tomorrow. Nuh-uh."
The brunette chuckled apprehensively. "Well... I'm sorry... I really didn't mean for this to happen to you. Honestly."
The two fell into an uneasy silence, each wondering what would happen if the others found out about this. How would they react? What would be the first thing that came on their minds as they absorbed in Souji's new look which looked terribly alot like Chie?
After a few moments the young silverette stared at Chie in intent. She countered, "... What?"
"You should know the way out of this mess. You're the one who forced me to be your... experiment." Souji shuddered as he said the word that gave a cold shrill to him.
"I hate to tell you this, but returning you back to your previous state is way out of my league, even though I'm the one responsible for this," Chie winced. "Sorry, I'm not a magician. But there is one thing that I can offer you, if you're willing to accept."
"What is it?" Souji asked curtly and without delay.
"Promise me you won't kill me. Or hang me. Or curse me with Izanami's Thousand Curses."
Why would I do that? This is really starting to bug me. "Fine, spit it out."
What came out of her mouth was almost inaudible to his ears. "...W-We... We could swap..."
"Swap...? Swap what-..." His voice halted as a huge wave of realization crashed into him. "SWAP BODIES!?"
In the flash of an eye, Souji's comfortable and manly uniform was stripped from him and replaced with Chie's own garbs, a girl's typical black uniform overlapped with an unbelievably thick green jacket. Souji couldn't have felt hotter.
"Man, this jacket is killing me. Why can't I just take it off?" The silverette grumbled to himself.
"Don't. If you do, the others'll see your flat chest, and might think I'm not a girl!" Chie warned with a dark blush.
So what? It's not like you HAVE them. And of course they'll think I'm not a girl. I'm not YOU, for God's sake! Souji bit his lip in an effort to stay quiet and not blurt the words that would automatically end his life.
Taking his eyes off of his new outfit, he gazed at Chie, who was wearing his own outfit. Nothing felt different from her. Souji thought he was just looking at another reflection of himself. She had modelled her own hair to be like Souji's previous ones, which she did without fail. She also sprayed her brown hair silver-white, so she could look like a complete and utter clone of Souji. But something he hadn't noticed caught his eye.
There was a bulge on the upper side of Chie's body. "So you do have them after all." He said unintentionally.
"... Have what?" Chie glared at him with a dark look on her face.
Souji regarded this as the most dangerous situation he could be in, and decided to brush it off and pretended to look stupid but innocent. "No, nothing! I was just talking to myself. Um, shouldn't you button the jacket? S-So you won't look like a girl!"
Chie threw her head back and groaned. "Hey, it's not like anyone would see that. C'mon, let's just go back." She beckoned for Souji to follow as she stacked the previously seperated TV sets together and plunged in.
"Sensei?" The silverette turned around to the source of the familiar voice. Teddie stood a couple of meters from him and gaped. "Are you really planning to go back like that, sensei?"
"Do I really have a choice?" Souji grumbled in response, his patience running thin. "Let's not talk about this and just... walk." Without another word, the grim faced leader climbed inside the TV and was welcomed by the routinous moving black and white box-shaped spirals. Apparently a small snicker was within earshot.
Yosuke folded his hands irritatingly and shot annoyed glances at the few members of the team who had arrived. He eyes darted over Yukiko, Kanji, Rise and Naoto. Souji and Chie, who were usually the first to arrive, weren't there."So, where's the rest of the team?"
But deep inside, he was secretly pleased of their absence. It meant that he could unofficially act as group leader. Without the real leader there, or the bossy and sharp Chie, no one was there to stop him. Plus he wanted to get ready for his ultimate torture plan towards Souji, who had faithfully wasted him of his precious time.
"They probably had some sort of business to take care of. If I'm not mistaken Chie had to do one of her 'emergency' trainings and said she won't be back for a couple of hours, but I doubt she'll miss this meeting. She's always very devoted to her team." Yukiko smiled.
Kanji scoffed. "Ha, no offense senpai, but just now you sounded like a granny."
"Kanji!" Rise cried out.
The raven-haired girl gasped softly. "I did?"
"You don't need to take it so seriously Yukiko-san, Kanji was just joking. Weren't you, Kanji?" Yosuke added with an emphasis.
"Y-Yeah, of course I was jokin'. Don't take it so seriously, senpai." Kanji's face immediately fell.
"Why can't you just stay reserved and calm like Naoto-kun? Then Yukiko-senpai wouldn't have been offended!" The magenta-haired idol scolded the taller boy.
"As if YOU could."
Naoto was surprised at the mention of her name. "P-Pardon?"
"Well, I may be no different, but I at least I don't offend people! She was innocent!" Rise ignored the sleuth.
"Isn't annoying people just the same as offending?" He shot back.
"It's different, you knuckle-head! Annoying isn't as bad as offending!" She glared daggers at him.
"Well I think it's just the same! You offend people by annoying them!"
"That's not true!"
"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!!!" Yosuke's hands slammed on the top of the table with a loud BLAM! and in an instant everyone became as still as rocks.
The brunette sighed. "Look, I don't know what's gotten into you both, but please, just stop it! You both are like cats and dogs!"
"What about you and Chie?" Kanji and Rise growled in unison.
"Us? N-No, I mean..." The brunette's eyes suddenly grew wide. "... Is that Chie?"
"Don't try changin' the subject here, Yosuke-senpai." Kanji narrowed his eyes sarcastically.
"Actually, it's true. Look, Teddie's with her, too!" Yukiko added and pointed her finger towards the two aforementioned people.
From where the team sat, Chie(?) and Teddie were seen to be approaching them through hurried steps. Chie's(?) face was downwards.
Something was weird. Something was definitely not right about those two. Yosuke wasn't sure about Chie but as he caught a glimpse of Teddie's eerie grin he knew something was terribly out of place. "... Teddie? What's with that face?"
The bear giggled in an unearthly way. "Nothing is wrong, Yosuke! Absolutely nothing! Everything's fine! Completely fine!"
Rise frowned. "You're even more suspicious when you act like that."
"You're a bad liar, ya know that?" Kanji grunted.
Chie (?) didn't seem to register their talk and instead took a nearby chair to sit down sullenly, her (?) face still downwards.
Yukiko cocked her head to one side. "Chie?"
"What's wrong, Chie-senpai? If you are ill, it's best if you go home now." Naoto said.
"What? I can't hear you." Yosuke leaned over the table to take a closer look at the young teenager.
"It's... nothing. I'm... alright..." She (?) sniffed and finally lifted her head. Fresh tears streaked down her face, her eyes red and swollen.
"What's wrong? Why're you crying?" Yukiko reached her hand out and tried to caress who she thought was her best friend's cheek. Chie (?) flinched at the touch and backed away alarmingly with a dark blush crawling all over her face. "D-D-Don't touch me!!" Her (?) voice which was previously... well, Chie-like, suddenly became very manly and unChie-like.
Yosuke staggered backwards as soon as he heard the shout. The others also looked astonished."Whoa! You eat somethin' rotten this morning!? Your voice is scary!"
"I'm pretty sure it isn't because she ate something rotten this morning," Naoto recovered from her temporary shock and rose from her seat, walking slowly towards the startled person who she thought was Chie. "It's because you're not Chie."
"What!?" The rest of the Investigation Team gasped in shock and disbelief.
A very womanly voice rang throughout the household, to which Nanako was very confused to. "... Big B-Bro?"
"Howdy, Nanako-chan!" The teenager who claimed to be Nanako's older brother responded and appeared from the corridor. The young girl felt something was out of place, yet she didn't dare voice her inquiry, and rubbed her eyes instead.
No. It wasn't an illusion. Something was very different from her big bro, though she didn't know what it was. Maybe she was just imagining things. Yes, just maybe. But didn't she just say it wasn't an illusion? Of course it had to be; Souji's perfectly human, isn't he? But why is there something on his chest?
But no matter how many times young Nanako tried to convince herself that she was wrong, the suspicion wouldn't go away, not one single bit. Finally overwhelmed by her curiosity, she brought herself to ask, "Big bro? Why do you keep balls in your chest? Is it a new trend? And are you sick? Your voice sounds creepy."
Souji (?) winced at his cousin's remark. "Ah... uh, about that, Nanako-chan..." This girl is over the top innocent! I'd have to tread carefully... he made his way towards the young girl's spot on the tatami mat and sat down next to her. "Listen very carefully, Nanako-chan..." He said and leaned closer to Nanako's ear to whisper something, even though no one was around. "I'm not your Big Bro. I'm Chie. You know me, right?"
"Chie? I don't know any Chies..." Nanako frowned in thought.
As soon as the young girl said the only thing that made Chie's heart break into a million pieces, her face immediately fell. "You... don't remember me...?"
Nanako tapped her chin as her forehead wrinkled which Chie always found it especially cute. "I think I do... Oh! You're that martial artist and the one who likes Yosuke-senpai!"
Chie gasped in horror. "What!?"
"Big Bro said so. He told me that you two are practically husband and wife! Is that true? Is that true?"
No!!! That's SOOOO not true! Urgh, wait 'till I get my hands on him..." Ahahaha... well, maybe you shouldn't believe exactly everything your big bro tells you. I mean... he likes to exaggerate things a lot. Well, I do get into fights with Yosuke, but that doesn't mean we're a couple. I would give anything to not marry that ditto and... we're still way too young!"
"But I think you two look good together, too!"
Chie groaned. There was no way she was getting further into this subject. She had to think at least of some way to avert the young child's attention. Then she blinked. "Oh! Oh! I know! Nanako-chan, why don't we take a bath together? After all, we're girls, right?"
"... What?" Nanako was extremely taken aback by the offer. After a while she recovered and replied cheerfully, "Okay!"
Chie helped Nanako to her feet as the stood up. Together, they walked to the bathroom, which size was enough for two people, not forgetting to bring their new clothes. At least Nanako did. "Chie-chan, why aren't you bringing your spare clothes?"
Clothes...?"O-oh yeah. Silly me." Chie smiled sheepishly and ran up the stairs and brought herself to open Souji's room; which she had only seen once, when she and Yosuke were studying over. She rummaged through the Leader's wardrobe and took out the first T-shirt and pants she found. "Sorry for lending your clothes." The brunette muttered silently to Souji as she ran back downstairs, where Nanako was waiting patiently with a bundle of pajamas in her hands. "Ready?"
Chie nodded, and both entered the bathroom and stripped themselves naked. "Um, so where do I put my-- I mean Souji's-- clothes?"
Nanako pointed at a basket just outside the bathroom door. "Over there. That's where we put our dirty clothes in."
"Oh, okay." Chie slowly opened the door and peeked around cautiously around the empty house and aimed a successful throw into the basket. It was already piling with extra dirty clothes- which were probably Dojima's, so Souji's sleeves spilled over the edge.
"You're not Chie?! Wait, then who are you? D-Don't tell me you're one of those gay cross-dressers trailin' me before!" Kanji exclaimed.
"What? Someone followed you? Why didn't you say something earlier?" Rise cried out.
"... Kanji.... being followed by.... gay... cross-dressers... snrrk..." Yukiko covered her mouth with her hands.
"Goodness..." Naoto shook her head slowly, her hands supporting the weight of her head.
Yosuke, not having said anything, approached who he thought was Chie and pulled her (?) hair with enough force to make the person shriek.
"Ow! What the hell do you think you're doing!?"
"Oh, sorry. I thought you were wearing a wig." Yosuke apologized.
Naoto shook her head again. "No, it's not a wig, Yosuke-senpai. Can't you realize by the tone of his voice that this is our Leader?"
"Leader...?" Yosuke looked blank at first before finally processing the detective's words. "By hell, you mean this guy is Souji!? Our Souji?"
Naoto nodded silently. "Why don't you confirm it with him?"
"Uh... Souji-kun?" Yukiko gently called out the Leader's name, hesitation subtle in her voice. She studied the Chie look-alike's face before finally nodding to the young sleuth's deduction."I have a feeling Naoto-kun's right. The posture, his features, everything, calls out more to the evidence that this is Souji-kun."
"Geez, senpai..." Rise covered her mouth with her hands. "Since when did you become such a handsome crossdresser?"
The way she said the sentence made everyone gawk weirdly at her. Rise thought of this Souji handsome? What kind of drug did she take to make her change 360 degrees like this? Since when are male crossdressers handsome? Well, probably because Souji is always handsome no matter what he wears in the love-struck idol's eyes.
As they say, Love is Blind.
"... Could you please, um, not stare at me? It's not really... polite, you know." Souji finally managed to squeeze out, his tone wavering from feminine manliness and his usually smooth masculinity. He brought his hands down to his thighs in an attempt to cover his rather bare skin, similar to a diffident, subdued young woman.
"Dude, since when did you start cravin' these kind of things? It's so not like you." Kanji stated blankly, still lost in awe.
"She forced me to. Who else did you think would be this cruel and heartless towards me?" He whined and ducked his head, his voice still a blur between the two tones.
Naoto stifled a small laugh. "S-Senpai, it would be perfectly okay if you use your usual tone, wouldn't it?"
"Oh well. Someone help me change back, please?"
"Change you back? How're we going to help you change back if you don't have any decent clothing?" Yosuke scoffed.
Souji stared blankly at Yosuke, clearly not understanding for a minute what he was referring to.
"Sensei! Your clothes were taken by Chie, riiiight? So you're not going to be able to change baaack~" Teddie replied in a disgustingly high-pitched singing voice.
Another few seconds passed before a bolt of understanding zapped the young silverette. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Another few seconds of silence.
"Well, I guess either Nanako or Souji's taking a bath. But why won't the other open the door? There's only one bathroom, after all." Dojima lit his cigarette and rapped the door again. "Oi, Nanako, Souji, open the door! I'm back!"
"Why don't you use your spare keys, Dojima-san?" Adachi suggested behind him.
"Oh yeah, you're right. S'good to use your lazy brain for once." Dojima answered with a hint of amusement.
"Now what's that supposed to mean? I'm always smart, aren't I?" The messy dark-haired assistant mused.
The senior detective ignored him as he inserted the spare keys into the lock. "But that's strange. What are those kids up to?"
The door opened with a soft whoosh, and the duo stepped inside. "I'm home! Hey, why won't anyone open the goddamn door!?"
The sound of vague water draining indicated that someone was evidently taking a bath, although Dojima didn't know who it was. All of a sudden the sound of a child giggling resounded from the bathroom.
"Oh. That must be Nanako-chan in the bathroom." Adachi remarked.
"If so, then where's Souji?" The gruff older man glanced around the room, expecting to see a even just glimpse of him.
When both Dojima and Adachi checked his room upstairs, there was no one there. It was strange, why would he be out so late? Didn't even leave a letter, either. And he left his cellphone at home, too. How was Dojima going to find that nuisance of a boy?
Scratching his head and shaking his head slowly, he descended the stairs and Adachi claimed the sofa. Just when he was thinking of calling a reinforcement team did his eyes catch something in particular.
Souji's clothes. Souji's clothes lying on top of the basket, the sleeves falling over the edge. As Dojima bolted over to it and rummaged its filling, his mind began projecting quite... vulgar images.
Just as he thought. Buried right underneath Souji's clothes were Nanako's tiny, petite pink ones. What... was going on? Are they... The older man gulped and extremely large lump in his head, his thoughts taunting to him the terrifying -and seemingly impossible- truth.
Are they bathing together?
He nearly lost is footing as he gripped the bathroom door's handle for support. "No... No, it can't be... Then, there's no other way! I'll have to determine this myself!"
Just then a giggle came from inside the door. A giggle. Nanako's giggle.
Dojima brought his ear closer. He could pick out another giggle.
And a chuckle.
Dojima's eyes widened. That chuckle wasn't his daughter's. It was quite vague with the effects of the fog inside the bath, but it was deeper, and older.
And he realized that his worst nightmare was coming true.
He snapped out of his reverie and without any further delay -and as not much as a thought of the consequences that he will later suffer- he slid the door open so quickly it nearly fell, and letting the foggy mist out, clouding his face as it floated out leisurely.
"NANAKO! SOUJI! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! I CERTAINLY WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY FORMS OF INCEST IN MY HOUSE, DO YOU HEAR ME!?"
The sound of the door sliding open startled the two young women. Nanako shivered, her tiny body unable to handle the sudden evaporation of the warm heat. Chie's eyes glowed like daggers, ready to send any intruder that dared interrupt the brunette's most long awaited bath with the cute sister-like child to the lowest, most bottomest part of burning hell.
"NANAKO! SOUJI! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! I CERTAINLY WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY FORMS OF INCEST IN MY HOUSE, DO YOU HEAR ME!?" A high-pitched voice brusquely screamed from behind them.
Though the voice was indistinguishable, there all but one person who could misinterpret a situation like this. Souji's uncle. God, did she really have to deal with this now, of all times? She was taking a customarily amiable bath with the cutest little child in the world and he dared to interfere!? Already a plan was forming in her hot head.
Before she had any clue of what to do next, the fog cleared, and a figure stood standing in the doorway, husky and robust. "... Hah?"
What awaited him next was something he never envisaged. In front of him sat two naked women wearing nothing but carelessly wrapped towels, probably in a hurry to cover their bodies.
Nothing out of the ordinary was happening, but his eyes were kept glued to the scene.
The one thing that surprised him most, was that both of them were girls, Souji was nowhere to be seen.
"H-How... H-How can this be-"
"DIE, YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!!!!"
*crouches in a corner*
Er... long and pointless, I know...-_-"
But... would you still be a kind and generous reader by clicking the green button below...?