Alpha Fail 1/27

Author: Lifelesslyndsey

Fandom: Twilight (New Moon AU)

Pairing: Sam/Bella

Summary: La Push is vampire free, leaving seven teenage werewolves and their alpha nothing to do! What happens when Sam imprints on his Beta's broken, leech loving best friend? Alpha Win or Alpha Fail? Looks like Sam isn't so tough after all. N/C

Rating: M for language and lemons. I'm a crude dude what can I say?

Word Count: 2,226

Beta - Magos

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my thoughts which I have used to twist and manipulate The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyers, to my own satisfaction and if I am lucky, yours.

Chapter 1: The Monotonous Werewolf

A/N Hello there! Welcome to my seventh fan fic! I'd like to give a shout out to all my loyal readers, who have been anticipating this fic. I want to warn you, it isn't like my other stories. Sam is older and a little less comical. He's going to be broody and there is a lot of inner monologue. I plan on keeping this Sam POV only, but I make no promises.

A couple things to remember:

1. I adore reviews and I do my best to get back at ya when you leave me pretty things!

2. This is non cannon and I realize that like most non cannon, it's rather unrealistic. But before you haze me about it, think with that head that sits on your neck, yeah, you know the one. Think, we are after all writing about werewolves and vampires, it's pretty unrealistic in general.

BEGINS the summer after the incident.

Sam POV (Early June)


For some fucking reason I said the word out loud, into an empty room, in my empty apartment, occupied by only me.

I'm talking to the walls now, God I'm pathetic.

But, I said it and I agree. My life is monotonous. An endless cycle of same old same old. You'd think being Alpha werewolf would be cool and exciting. It's not. The vampires are gone and no more have shown up. Good fucking thing seven other Quileute kids had to be forced to submit to a life of freakish phasing, horrifically rapid puberty and a mind you must share. Hell, the gods even threw in a chick for good measure, because mentally sharing PMS is hilarious. Seven teenage werewolves and me. Isn't that just lovely? Biggest Pack in history, only to then have nothing to do. Eight fucking werewolves and not one fucking vampire.

Ironic, no?


The idea of leading seven gigantic werewolves into any kind of altercation with a fucking leech was a little nerve wracking. The idea of keeping seven temperamental teenagers in check was fucking terrifying. Where were the perks of being the boss? Sure I have the Alpha voice thing, but honestly, I wish I didn't. That responsibility was a loaded fucking gun.

The only down side of holing up in my apartment, or maybe it's an upside, who knows, is the fact it always smells like fucking birthday cake all the time. I had no doubt my mother was down stairs baking up one thing or another. I'm not chauvinistic or shit, but I wholeheartedly believe a good woman should know how to bake. It's just how I was raised. Momma said.

I tore myself up of the couch at the sound of rumbling laugher. The boys had decided to visit and were undoubtedly distracted in the bakery, where my poor mother had been left defenseless. I didn't even bother to get dressed, stumbling down the stairs in my sleep pants.

"Hey mom," I said, my voice still heavy from sleep. I had just woken from my mid afternoon nap, which was usually followed by my late afternoon nap. I stooped down low to kiss her on her floury cheek, ignoring the snide little snicker from my pack mates.

"Jared," I nod my head, turning my alpha glare to Quil, who has taken a particularly dirty liking to my mother. "Quil."

No one wants to see a sixteen year old's dirty little wet dreams about their mother. Sometimes I wonder if he does it to get out of the mind-numbing early patrols with me. But the way he stares at her while shoving free cupcakes in his mouth and his loose usage of the word milf often had me thinking otherwise. Fucking gross.

"What's up?" I asked, taking the nearest cupcake. It's sprinkly and pink and I really don't fucking care because my mother made it and it could spout a fountain of twinkly glitter shit, it would still be the one of the most delicious things in the fucking world. Cupcakes, cookies...momma made the best.

"The guys are headed up to Jake's to bang on the Rabbit for a while, nothing else to do," Jared explained, shoving his hands in his pocket to prevent him from eating another cupcake. Five or six of those and you start to feel the oncoming effects of a diabetic coma. Not even our toasty bodies could burn that amount of sugar fast enough.

I shrugged, "Yeah, I wanted to talk to him anyway, I got a job for him." I snatched another cupcake and gave my mother a pointed glance, "Momma?"

"Already done, darling," she said handing me a big white box. It's nice to have an endless supply of gourmet junk food when you're feeding a pack of bottomless pits.

"Quil," I snapped, drawing him from his mother-ta-ta-fixated glaze, "Carry that. I'll be over in twenty."

Quil gave my mother a wide wolfy grin before Jared forced him out the door.

"Mom! Don't fucking encourage him." I frown, staring at the little woman before me. Now I am a no nonsense kind of guy, but there are a few things I really don't like. I don't like leeches, I don't like bullshit and I don't like any one who disrespected their momma. Maybe not even in that order.

She laughed and stood on her toes to mess with my hair, "Awe honey, I like Quil, he makes me feel like a girl again."

"Ew, woman." I grunted, kissing her head once, "Alright, I'm gonna get dressed."

Twenty minutes and a pair of ripped jeans later I made my way across the little expanse that is La Push to the Black Residence and the tiny aluminum shack that we have taken to calling a garage. It was oddly quiet, no tell tale signs of obnoxious laughter. The guys must not be here yet, I thought.

"Jake!" I bellow, my voice resonating off the aluminum and plastic wall combo. This thing's so rickety that even the echo of my dulcet fucking tones loosens the bolts. It will come crashing down on us one day of this I am sure.

"In here, Sam!" He called out from beneath his Rabbit, but the ass and legs sticking out from the raised hood pleasantly distracted me. The ass was round and right and clad in tiny jean shorts, the bottom curve of the cheek peeking out the hem. A filthy, oil stained white shirt rode up, showing off two inches of a tiny, creamy, white waist accompanied the tiny shorts. The legs, long, lean and startling pale ended with a pair of ragged half tied purple high top converses. It made for a nice package, now what the fuck did the rest look like?

"Grab the wrench, honey," Jacob grunted, pulling me out of my reverie. He certainly wasn't talking to me, that's for sure. I'd punch him in the face if he called me honey and we both know it. Ass and Legs' slender fingers peak out from the hood, wrapping themselves around a wrench. Something about a woman and tools. Fuck my life. So hot.

I groan inwardly as I eye fuck the exposed bottom half of the girl who has decided to grace Jacob's garage. She isn't Quileute, so it's safe to say she ain't my cousin. Not with that perfect pale, creamy, white skin begging to be lic...Fuck is this all it takes to get me hard? Some ass and endless legs?


I take the God given moment that no one is looking at me and adjust my cock to a less incriminating position. I hadn't had to tuck my boner into the hem of my jeans since I was fucking fifteen. It created a dilemma however, though I was no longer visible for all the world, every time I breathed I was creating friction I really didn't fucking need. Shit. I hadn't even seen the rest of her. It would suck if she ended up being a butter-face.

"Okay, honey, hit it now," Jacob instructs.

"Just hit it?" A soft soprano asked and I was instantly riveted. What the hell is wrong with me?

Jacob chuckles, "Yeah, just hit it honey."

"With the wrench?"

"What else did I give you?"

"Shut up, Jacob!"

"Hit it already."

The loud clank of metal on metal signified that she did, indeed, hit it, whatever it happens to be.

Jacob fucked with something beneath the car, "Okay now drop the hood and turn the key."

I watched as the hood came down with a loud fucking clatter. The perfect round ass, long legs, and tiny waist were now accompanied by wavy mahogany locks and two of the most delectable pert breasts. She was staring at her feet but I knew who she was. How could I not? I had seen her fifty fucking different ways in Jacob's mind and he wasn't the most gentlemanly. I had seen her a catatonic mess on the forest floor. I had seen her passed out on the beach after her little cliff dive. I was pretty well accustomed to Bella Swan being that I was a complete fucking stranger.

"Quil said you had a job for me, you want me to come out to the shop?" Jacob elegantly interrupted my eye fuck.

"I uh...yeah where are the guys?" I ask, watching as Bella shifted from foot to foot, still staring at the floor like it owed her fucking money.

"They were here for all of five minutes before the ridiculous flirting, innuendos and blatant comments began." Bella blushed as he spoke, "So I er...ordered them to leave."

"So what time did you need me at the shop?" Jacob asked again, tossing Bella a red rag to clean her hands. If I hadn't seen her leaned over the engine of his car, I wouldn't have believed it. She was a tiny slip of a thing, small even by normal human standards. I had a suspicion that Jacob had somehow coerced her to help him, because she sounded pretty fucking confused under there. Not that I know anything about cars, I'm pretty much fucking useless.

The shop is a small building we store our crap for the handy-man service all the werewolves partake in. It keeps them busy in what I will refer to as an extended off-season and it helps them earn some cash.

"You can come by now, it's easy work. Just some shelving units for that book shop up on Cedar. She can come."

"No, Bella has to get home and cook Charlie dinner," Jacob replied with a sigh. Great, he'd phase later and I'd get to listen to him whine.

Bella shrugged her little shoulders, looking up at Jacob, "You're probably right. That man can't operate a toaster."

"Uh-huh," is all I manage because I was suddenly aware of the way her dirty shirt was clinging to her body. She looked like ever guy's mother fucking wet dream, with a grease smudge on her face, holding a goddamn wrench, wrapped up in those tiny, tiny cut-offs.

"Same time tomorrow, Jacob?" She asked, turning around to grab her bag out of the back seat of the car.

"Better make it noon, I uh...I'm gonna be up late tonight...working on the Rabbit." What he really meant was I have patrols until four in the morning.

"Mmkay, Jacob. But tomorrow, you don't have to send your friends away. I've been monopolizing your time all week, I think I can share you."

But the real question is can Jacob share you, Miss Ass and Legs?

Jacob grumbles, "Fine, whatever, but I warned you, they are trouble." He swooped down and kissed her cheek and I almost, almost growled. What the hell was up with that?

I heard Jacob hiss before I realized what was happening, "Bella!"

She stumbled forward on her shoelace, smacking straight into me as I caught her at the waist. She was ridiculously tiny and only seemed smaller pressed against me. I idly wonder if I could wrap my hands all the way around her slender waist. I think I could...I want to try...

"Oh!" She huffed, straightening herself. "Sorry Sam, I got you all dirty," she said, running her hands along my abs, now smudged with grease. I fucking shivered from the touch, from the slight trail of her fingertips. Imagine what else those little hands could do...

Her hand stayed pressed to my stomach, little fingers cool against my over heated skin. My hands told me to let go of her, but I was glued, frozen. I couldn't fucking move.

Because she was looking up at me with brown eyes I had never seen before. How had I not seen them?

I had seen her as the crumpled mess I found on the forest floor not nine months ago. I had seen her passed out at First Beech after being trudged out of the water. But had I truly ever seen her? Did I look at her at all? I didn't remember those big brown eyes that's for sure. The world seemed to shift beneath my feet, but she never wavered.

How did she not notice this sudden cosmic force begging to pull me to my knees? My ears were ringing and I thought I heard Jacob talking, but I didn't, because the only sense I had left was vision and all I saw was her. Something in me jerked, urging me forward to her and my legs wanted to move but I was cemented in place, incapable of forming complete sentences or even thoughts. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh shit.

"I...I have to go!" I panicked; dropping my hands so quickly she stumbled again.

"Sam?" Jacob asked, confused, "You okay?"

"I'm so sorry." I almost choked as I spoke, because really...I am so fucking sorry Jacob.

"Wait...what? What are you sorry about? Sam?" He asked.

"Are you okay?" Bella chimed softly, looking up at me with so much concern in her eyes it fucking hurt. So caring. She looked so worried and I wanted to just scoop her up and hold her. Shit. The urge seemed weird even to me.

I just imprinted.

On the leech lover.

On Jacob Black's leech lover.

"I...I have to go," I repeated, bolting out the door.

A/N Chapter One! I think you should play with the review button there. He looks lonely.