AN: Once the idea for this story popped into my head, I couldn't not write it. It wouldn't let me not write it then and there. It was very demanding.
On a side note, if you haven't read "Normal" by Lizzieturbo then you're missing out. It's awesome. In fact as soon as you're done reading this you need to pop on over and read it *nods empathically*
"Happy birthday, darlin'," said Logan.
"Thanks, Logan," she replied.
He was the first to give Rogue best wishes for her twenty-first birthday, but certainly not the last. He also was by no means the most surprising. The most surprising arrived in the mail, encased in a rather official looking envelope from a solicitor's office in Mississippi.
"Rogue?" asked Storm, noting the stunned look on her face. "Something wrong?"
"Not... not exactly," Rogue said slowly, putting the letter down. "Muh Aunt Irene died some years ago. She left an inheritance for me that Ah could only collect once Ah turned 21."
"They did a good job tracking you down."
"No, Aunt Irene was a mutant too, with precognitive powers. She just told them were ta send the letter," Rogue shook her head. "Ah just inherited two houses; one in New Orleans and one in Spain. Not ta mention the money ta go with them... Ah have ta go ta Caldecott County for a few days. Ah need ta sign papers and stuff."
"Yes, yes of course," Storm nodded.
Three months later:
Kitty and Pete stood up in front of everyone, hand in hand.
"Okay everyone," Kitty said. "We have an announcement to make."
Everyone was silent, and looking at them expectantly.
"Katya and I," Pete said, a little nervously. "Are getting married."
The room exploded with congratulations and well wishing. As the couple made the rounds, Kitty made a point of sitting besides Rogue.
"Hey congratulations," said Rogue, and with a grin added: "About time, huh?"
"He was so nervous he had to repeat the question a second time before I could understand a word he said."
"Hey, Rogue," Kitty went on. "I was hoping..."
"Would you like to be my maid of honour?"
"Ah'd be honoured, sugah."
One month after that:
"No," Gambit said firmly.
"Aww," pouted Lucy. "But -"
"It's for a good cause."
"Think of the children."
"You owe me a favour."
"I do not."
"Sure you do. I got divorced because of you."
"... Dat's the flimsiest excuse for a debt I have ever heard."
"Hey if James hadn't walked in on us -"
"If you hadn't been cheating on your husband -"
"If you weren't such a charmer -"
"Like I wasn't the only une yo' were having an affair wit'. And, if I recall correctly, yo' didn't even tell moi yo' were married. If anyone owes anyone fo' dat little fiasco, it's yo' owing me."
"Awwww but Remy -"
"Dere's no way yo' can possibly talk me int' letting yo' auction off a date wit' me."
"The idea of strutting down a catwalk into a room full of women doing catcalls while you take off your shirt doesn't appeal to you?"
"Really? Because it appeals to me," Lucy said wistfully. "I can picture it right now."
"Picture it all yo' want, Lucy," Gambit smirked at her. "Because your mind is the only place dat's ever gonna happen."
"Will you do it if I sleep with you?"
"No. And if dis conversation is just going t' go around in circles, I'm just going t' leave."
"Aww but... but... think of the challenge!"
Gambit gave her a skeptical look.
"What possible challenge could dere be in acting like a glorified stripper?"
"Well, it is an auction. A man of your... assets... could quite easily win a high price."
"Dat's a given, cherie, not a challenge."
"Of course, there will be other guys there. Sexy guys with commendable assets of their own. Never know, Remy, there might even be someone who can even compete with you."
"And here we come t' the flimsy enticement," Gambit shook his head. "I'm not interested, Lucy."
"The idea of seeing if you can not only get the highest bid of the night, but get the highest bid by a landslide doesn't appeal to you?"
"Sure it doesn't. I can just see your mind ticking over all the possible things you could do to entice higher bids out of all those women."
"And then, of course, there's the date itself."
"I do have to wonder about a woman who has to spend money at an auction t' get a date."
"What? It's a bit of fun for us girls," Lucy then snapped her fingers. "Y'know, I wonder if you could work things so you got the woman of your choice from the audience to buy you? Of course, that might be too much of a challenge, even for you."
"What makes yo' t'ink I'd want any of dem?"
"Well, there are going to be women of all ages and body shapes there..."
"This is a bad conversation. I can get any femme I want without having t' make a fool o' myself."
"Yeah, but can you get them to spend money on you? Large amounts of money."
"Ah ha! C'mon Remy, we both know you can't resist a good challenge. We both know I've just found the right buttons to tempt you."
"No, no you haven't. The problem lies in your definition of the word 'good'."
Lucy batted her eyes at him. Gambit sighed and rubbed his forehead.
"This is a very bad idea."
"Yay!" Lucy cheered.
She jumped up and gave him a huge hug.
"Thank you, Remy! I knew I could count on you."
"I have a condition."
"I want t' be last," Gambit paused. "And if anyone asks, I owed yo' a debt."
"I can't believe I just agreed t' dis," he muttered.
Logan stepped into Storm's office.
"And here he is now," said Storm.
"You wanted to see me?" he asked.
"I have a favour to ask," Storm nodded. "This is my friend Lucy Chancellor. She's running a charity auction for deaf and blind children."
"Children who are deaf and blind or deaf or blind?" Logan asked.
"All three," Lucy smiled.
"Well, that's nice."
"Lucy's just came to let me know and to find out if we have anyone we'd like to donate," Storm added.
Logan paused and raised his eyebrow.
"We're auctioning dates," Lucy said. "Well, dates with men anyway."
She batted her eyes at him. Logan gave Storm a pained expression.
"Would you mind?" Storm asked.
"Oh thanks so much," said Lucy.
"No, that was yes, I do mind," Logan corrected. "You're not going to auction off a date with me."
"But it'll be fun, Logan," Storm said.
"I'd bid for you."
"Hey, any time you want to go on a date darlin', you only need to ask. I'd take you out anytime."
"But think of the children," Lucy said.
"I have enough children here to think about."
"Bobby volunteered," Storm said.
"Bobby's young and desperate."
"Actually he said he thought it might be fun. Please Logan?"
Logan gave a low growl.
"C'mon," Lucy said. "If all the men are going to be young and desperate like Bobby, we're hardly going to raise any money. There are blind, deaf and blind and deaf children out there who need our help to gain their independence."
"Not everyone can heal fast like you can, Logan," Storm added, nodding sagely.
"Well, fine then. If you don't have time for children any more, then I guess I'll just have to let someone else start running the danger room."
"You can't do that. I'm in charge of training."
"Not all of them."
"You're always calling them kids."
"I... that's not the point. You know I'm there best here. They need to be trained by me."
"I was thinking of letting Bobby take over the danger room."
"Bobby? He's not ready for that kind of responsibility. He's not that good either."
"But he does have time for children."
"Fine, I'll do the auction."
Storm hugged him.
"See? I knew we could count on you."
Kitty looked at all the bridal magazines. With her were Rogue, Jubilee and Tracy.
"Aww, look at this one," said Tracy. "Isn't is gorgeous?"
Kitty peered over.
"Yes, yes it is," she sighed. "I'm never going to be able to chose. Never! Maybe I should wear all of them."
"Guess what ladies," Bobby said, coming into the room and flexing his arms. "The Iceman's gonna be at an auction."
"That's nice for you, Bobby," Kitty said.
"But not just any auction," Bobby went on cheerfully. "I'm going to be one of the lots. Yes, for a starting bid of one hundred dollars one of you can go on a date with me."
"Yeah, Ah went on multiple dates with ya, Bobby," Rogue grinned at him. "For free. It wasn't worth it."
"Oooh a date auction?" Jubilee said.
"Yep, in one month," Bobby nodded. "Some kind of charity. It'll be fun!"
"We should so totally go," Jubilee nodded. "Never know, there might be some cute guys there."
"Hey, I'm cute," Bobby said.
"No, he is cute," Tracy said. "Cute like a little puppy-dog, though. Not cute as in hot. There's bound to be some hot guys at the auction, right?"
"Oh, I'd say so," Storm said smugly as she entered the room. "I talked Logan into participating."
"Ah know. That's why Ah'm laughing."
"We absolutely have to go now," Jubilee said, nodding eagerly.
"Entry fee is twenty dollars," Storm advised them. "And even if you're just there for the... fun... there's a bar available too."
"And whoever goes," Storm went on with a smug look on her face. "We have to hang around until the last lot. He's an old friend of mine -"
"Gonna bid on him?" Tracy asked.
"No. I'm just looking forward to seeing him... at work," Storm chuckled. "I've seen him charm whole roomfuls of women before, but this is the first time I've ever had a chance to keep score. It should be most entertaining."