And here, we take a look into the reasoning of everyone's favourite Espada scientist, Szayel Apollo Grantz.

BNC Szayel.

Hello, Szayel.

Hey, aren't you that Arrancar 69.-

RIGHT YES WELL. I have a few questions to ask you, if it's not too much trouble.

Fire away.

Firstly, what was your reasoning behind the creation of your drugs?

Well, Poison Sparkler was obvious, of course. Even an amazing man of science like me needs a pick-me-up once in a while. As for Poison Pheremone…well, even I need help with the ladies sometimes.

I can imagine. Poison Lust, then?

Shut up.

Spoilsport. What about Poison Femme?

That's a bit more complicated. I created that a very long time ago, as part of my self-image. You see, the delightfully effeminate image you see before you isn't my true form. In reality, I take the shape of a much taller, muscular, all-round manlier man. I had an awful gravelly voice, and even Grimmjow had to look up at me. Plus, my hair was originally red, not pink, and I had this annoying stubble that wouldn't go away no matter how many times I shaved. It went against my sense of aesthetics. I looked a bit older too, so that's why I made Poison Immortal; I wanted to go back to my twenties. It was all to look good, like a more scientific version of makeup.

I think you just broke my brain.

What brain?

What was it like working with Ichimaru Gin?

I felt like strangling him. I honestly don't know how Lord Aizen does it .I swear that man is the devil himself.

And how did Grimmjow make you feel?

Pure and utter terror. I still have nightmares.


Wrong. Just. Wrong.

Mhmm. What about Nnoitara, then?

I actually quite like her. Nnoitara can be quite a funny person sometimes.

After all of this, what have you learned?

That padlocks are not enough to keep meddling fingers out of my lab. I have since invested in a DNA sensor that repels anyone except me, and my fraccion, of course. Also, I've learned to fear women. They're very scary.

I see. Do you have anything to say to your many fans?

Stop sending me mail.

Right. Well, you're not a very amusing interview subject, so I'm going to end things here. Thanks for reading this far, if you have, and if you haven't, then…you can't see this, can you?

Your lack of intelligence is really quite unfortunate.

How mean. Okay, everyone, that's it from me! Bai-bai!