Author's note: This is for my friend Berry's Ambitions as part of a story trade. I DONT NOT OWN, LEP OR SAMARA. Berry's Ambitions owns Fira Ray, and Roger Duane. I only own this one-shot. Enjoy.
Roger and Lep: Male Bonding
"Come on, Roger, just spend some time with him," Both Fira Ray and Samara Morgan tried to convince Roger Duane to 'spend time' with Lep, since Fira and Samara were going out for a 'girl's night'. "You and Lep don't have ANY male friends. It'd be good for you."
"If you haven't noticed, Lep is not a human… He's a six-hundred-year-old Leprechaun!" Roger pointed out, aggravated and extremely frustrated.
Lep, who was sitting on the sofa, heard Roger's remark. "You know, I'm sitting RIGHT here… I can hear everything your saying."
Ignoring Lep's comment, Roger went on, "And what do you mean by 'spend time with him'?" His voice mimicked Fira and Samara's tone.
Both Fira and Samara rolled their eyes, glancing over at each other. "What we mean, is have some male bonding time with Lep," Samara answered simply.
Roger stared at Fira and Samara, a blank expression on his face. "MALE BONDING?"
By that time Lep had gotten up from his seat and wandered over, wanting to join in the conversation, a confused look on his face. "Excuse me… I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, but what do ya mean by 'male bonding'?"
"Oh, my, Damballa," Fira shook her head. She couldn't even believe that Roger and Lep didn't even know what 'male bonding' even was. "If you guys hang out with each other, then you'll know what we mean."
Roger glanced over at Lep, who only shrugged. Are they from another planet or something, Fira thought. What man didn't know what 'male bonding' was? "Look, the point is, you guys are going to spend time with each other, whether you two like it or not!" With that said, Fira grabbed Samara's hand, and the two ran out of the dorm, leaving Roger and Lep, standing in front of the door, confused and nervous.
Lep, being a leprechaun, never 'hung out' with anyone, let alone someone of the same gender for 'male bonding'. Roger, having been so used to hanging out with girls, Fira and Samara, he never had an actual guy best friend.
Lep looked up at Roger. "So… What are we supposed to do now, lad?"
Sighing, Roger shrugged his shoulders. "Like I'm supposed to know." He walked over to the couch and sat down, turning on the TV. "I guess we have to wait for them to get home."
Without saying a word, Lep quietly walked over and took a seat next to Roger.
It was gonna be one long night for Roger and Lep.
It had been at least 30 minuets since Fira and Samara left, and since leaving Roger had been flipping through channels on the TV, seeing that nothing was on. Yet, he was determined to do something other than try to have 'male bonding' time, with a leprechaun, who was still sitting next to him, staring off into space, lost in his own thoughts. He was bored, and almost close to losing it. Fira would kill him if he left to do something that would actually pass time.
Letting out a huff, Roger threw the television remote onto the ground, annoyed. "Of couse, out of ALL DAYS, television decides to be an asshole and not have anything good to watch!"
Lep, as bored as he was, decide to speak up and give his ideas. "Well… The lasses don't come back for another hour or so and-"
"What are you trying to say, shortstuff?" Roger demanded. For some, odd reason, he didn't even want to have any 'male bonding'. He was perfectly fine having no male friends whatsoever. He was fine being surrounded by girls.
Lep cleared his throat, hesitating slightly. "What I'm saying… Is that maybe we can..."
"OH MY GOD!" Roger's eyes widened in horror, guessing what Lep was trying to say. "You want to have SEX with me?!"
Lep's jaw dropped at Roger's outburst. "What the bloody hell?! NO! I MEANT, maybe we should have some 'bonding male' time."
Roger, still trying to catch his breath from nearly flipping out, was able to correct Lep's mistake. "You mean male bonding time." It wasn't a question.
Chuckling nervously, Lep nodded. "Y-yeah… So the lasses wont beat our asses for not doing what they asked us too."
Roger, trying to ignore the words 'male bonding', laughed quietly at what Lep had said, "You said 'asses'."
Lep sighed and rolled his eyes. This was going to be harder than he thought. "I can see your trying to ignore what I'm saying… What I'm TRYING TO SAY IS-"
"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!" Shaking his head, Roger gave in to the idea of bonding with Lep, no mater how much he didn't want to, though he didn't know why he didn't want to, maybe it was human instinct? Roger sighed, "Fine… Do you know anything manly we can do while Fira and Samara are gone?"
Lep blinked, confused. "Manly?"
Roger smacked himself in the head. "I cannot believe you don't know what MANLY is! You're a leprechaun! You should know what 'manly' means!"
Lep thought for a moment. "Oh! I know! We can shine some shoes!" Lep smiled, while Roger stared at him, his eye twitching slightly.
"I meant, MANLY, not, COMPLETELY IDIOTIC!" Roger retorted, making Lep shrink back.
"Okay, my bad," Lep laughed nervously, and thought again for a moment. "Well… Maybe… I dunno." He sighed. He had no idea what they should do.
Roger thought too for a moment. Hmm… Maybe I can… Roger smiled. "I know!" Quickly, roger got up from his spot on the couch and ran out of the room, leaving Lep sitting there, wondering. Where the hell was Roger going?
His question was answered. Roger ran back into the room, holding a large guitar in his arms. Smiling proudly, he sat down next to Lep. "I know what we can do," he said, holding the guitar, "I can show you how to play a guitar."
"OHHHH!" Mystified by the wooden instrument, Lep reached out to touch it, when Roger slapped his hand, like a child who was not allowed to eat the cookies from the cookie jar.
"No listen here, MISTER," Roger's tone of voice was like that of a parent or teacher, and poor Lep, still staring at the guitar, was like the child, ALWAYS CURIOUS, "I'm setting some ground rules. ONE: Don't EVER touch, my guitar without my permission."
Lep rolled his eyes. "Stop treating me like a wee one."
Ignoring Lep's comment, Roger put the guitar down. "Now, I'm gona go get some snacks, and while I'm gone…" He got right up in front of Lep's face, "DO NOT TOUCH MY GUITAR. GOT IT?"
Letting out a small squeak, Lep nodded. "Okay… you have my word, lad." He gave Roger a salute.
Rolling his eyes, Roger got up and walked into the kitchen, leaving Lep alone with the guitar.
Seeing that the coast was clear, Lep began whistling, and started shifting closer to the guitar. Closer… Smiling in triumph, Lep grabbed the guitar, and held it with his hands. He was just about to make music when suddenly…
It broke in half in his hands, from the pressure his large claws were putting on it. Lep nearly screamed when he heard it shatter in his hands. Lep started to look wildly around for something, anything to fix Roger's guitar.
That's when he found the duct tape…
"Okay Lep, I got the food!" Roger walked back into the room, carrying bags of chips, some cans of soda, and some twinkies. Seeing that Lep wasn't there, and to Roger's shock, his guitar was gone as well.
Trying not to let himself freak out, Roger walked over to the corner of the room, seeing Lep huddled in the corner. Roger quietly snuck up behind Lep and tapped him on the shoulder. "Lep?"
Lep screamed, nearly hitting the wall as he spun around, holding Roger's guitar. Roger's eyes widened when he saw his guitar, dropping all the snacks and drinks.
Lep started shaking, as he tried to come up with an excuse for what had happened. "N-now, Roger… Lad, let me explain…"
Poor Roger's guitar was COVERED in duct tape, trying to hold the now broken guitar together. Lep had split it in two.
Roger, now mourning for his broken guitar, without saying a word, walked over and sat down on the couch, staring off into space.
Lep followed slowy behind, afraid that Roger was extremely angry with him. "Lad… It was an accident. I even tried to fix it meself."
Roger didn't answer but instead continued to stare off into space. Worriedly, Lep quietly sat down next to Roger. "Umm… I can make it up to you, if you want. I'll… I'll buy you a new guitar, made of gold!"
Roger said nothing.
"Wait…" Lep shook his head. "Nevermind. I'll keep the gold one, I'll make a new one for ya." Lep tried to smile, but he could see it didn't make a difference.
"You broke my guitar…" Roger shook with rage, but he didn't let it show.
Lep looked around the room in hopes of finding something that would make Roger not upset with him. Finally, Lep spotted something. "I know what will cheer you up!" Running over to the closet, which was close by, Lep went inside and grabbed a game.
Lep quietly opened the box, and laid the large mat with large colored spots on the mat, before grabbing the spinner.
"Okay lad, now watch carefully," Lep said, taking off his shoes and took a position on the corner of the mat, where it read, 'Twister'.
Holding the spinner in his hands, Lep flicked the arrow and made it spin, before it landed on… "Okay, left foot blue." Carefully, Lep put his foot on the closest blue spot on the mat. He flicked the arrow again.
"Right hand, yellow…" Lep put the spinner on the ground next to him as he put his hand on the yellow spot nearby the blue spot on the mat, where his left foot was.
"Okay..." Lep flicked the arrow again. "Right foot green…" Now struggling a bit, Lep managed to put his right foot on the green spot. Roger was starting to watch, hoping, just hoping, to see Lep fall flat on his face.
Which, of course, Lep eventually did.
After a long, but fun night, Fira and Samara came tumbling through the door, giggling and whispering to each other. They looked around, hearing Roger laugh. "Lep? Roger? Are you guys home?" They both looked around, and walked over towards the source of Roger's laughter.
When they saw what Roger was laughing at, both Fira and Samara put their hands over their mouths, trying to suppress laughter themselves, seeing Lep's body, twisted like a pretzel on top of a 'Twister' mat. Roger continued to laugh at poor Lep, pointing at him while Lep looked extremely annoyed. Fira and Samara fell to the floor, laughing hysterically at Lep.
"Umm… guys?" Lep asked, feeling his body go numb, with his feet over his head and his arms down where his legs used to be, thanks to that bloody 'Twister' game, gave an aggravated sigh. "I cant feel me arms and legs… Anyone wanna help a poor Lad like me?" Lep looked down and let out an angered yell over Roger, Fira and Samara's laughter, "DAMN YOU TWISTER!"
Fira, still giggling hysterically, turned towards Roger, who was trying to catch his breath from laughing. "Look's like you guys bonded today…"
Roger nodded, finally gaining control over his laughter. "Oh yeah… We DEFINATLY bonded all right."
Poor Lep, looked up at his friends. "Uhhh…. Hello? A little help here please?"