Safe and Sound
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. Unfortunately, I DO own Daisy Starbeam.
A/N: I promised my friend, Rose Oracle, I'd write her a Mary Sue parody for a while, and this is it. Yes, I have seen Sues in this fandom, but the Sue in this story represents a nation I totally made up. And this will contain mild Russia/China, so you have been forewarned.
Please don't whack me with Hungary's frying pan if anyone is OOC! This is my first attempt at anything for this fandom.
Chapter 1- A New Nation
Attending a World Summit Meeting would sound like something incredible to the average person. To a nation that's actually been to one, it's just one big headache.
The meetings would usually go something like this:
First, America would propose some ridiculous solution to a major world issue. England would reject said solution, and France would disagree with both just for the sake of disagreeing. This would result in a much larger argument. China had given up trying to stop them several years ago. Canada, at this point, would realize that he would never be listened to, and would begin to play with his bear. Greece would be asleep by now. Russia would be scaring Latvia with some help from Belarus. Estonia decided to write a thesis on why nothing ever got done at these meetings, and was currently on page 345.
One day, however, the nations got a break from their usual antics.
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and all was well. So far, the meeting was going as it always went. America had proposed that the nations should buy a giant thing of sunscreen to stop global warming. England disagreed. Just to shake things up a bit, Taiwan and Vietnam, who sat on either side of a rather apathetic Hong Kong, began to braid his hair. Hong Kong didn't seem to care and only let out a small squeak occasionally when either of the girls would pull too much on his hair, leaving Korea questioning his manhood.
However, all heads turned to suddenly Lithuania, who was in the middle of explaining to Poland why he refused to wear a miniskirt that was four sizes too small for him. The Baltic nation said that he could hear something that sounded like a horse down the hallway.
"Don't be ridiculous," Estonia said. "How could there possibly be a horse in the lobby?"
"It's probably one of Iggy's unicorn friends," America mused. "I was kinda hoping he'd bring a dragon one of these days."
England was about to make a witty retort when the door to the room burst open in a rather melodramatic fashion, startling most of the nations (except for Russia, who found it rather amusing). The person who opened the door proceeded to skip into the room, her long, sakura-pink hair gracefully flowing behind her, like curtains on a breezy- hold on, that is insulting me as a writer. I'm rephrasing that.
The person who opened the door had long, light pink hair that went to her waist. She also had golden eyes, which might have not been so strange, had they not gone from gold to blue in a matter of a few seconds. She was dressed in a short, hot pink mini-dress, and was not wearing shoes. As well as looking totally ridiculous and out of place, she was followed by a lilac unicorn with a rainbow tattooed on its butt (as well a nametag that read, "Hello, my name is Bob".).
"…Who the hell are you, and why the hell do you have a unicorn?" asked the oh-so-eloquent Romano.
"My name is Daisy Starbeam," she said in a musical, lovely voice, "I am from a small, tropical island off the coast of Russia-"
"Hold on," England interrupted, "How can there possibly be a tropical island off the coast of Russia?"
The mysterious new nation ignored him as she caught sight of Canada. Her eyes not only widened, they turned a deep shade of lilac as she proceeded to take a running start towards the Canadian, screaming "MATTHEW!!!" at the top of her lungs, and tackling the poor man off of his chair and on to the floor.
Canada let out a yell of surprise as he fell to the ground. Not only was it awkward that some woman he'd met two seconds ago had just tackled him to the floor, he was pretty sure he'd banged his head on the back of the chair fairly hard. For once, he was actually wishing that someone had ignored him.
"Dearest brother, I missed you!" she cried, now bawling into his jacket.
"I'm sorry," he managed, "I only have one brother. His name is Alfred."
"I have a brother?!" America cried, turning to England. "That's awesome! Why didn't anyone tell me!?"
To this, Arthur Kirkland promptly smacked his forehead.
"But of course! You have a brother and a sister! We were separated at birth, remember?! When England and France took you and Alfred, I was claimed by Russia!" Daisy Starbeam sat up, still on top of Canada, which shifted all her weight on to his abdomen.
"Maple!" he squeaked.
She ignored him and went right on with her story. "Russia really didn't treat me as his daughter, I was more like his girlfriend! He treated me different than Lithuania and the others because I'm a special little snowflake!"
China dropped the book he was reading on the floor. Did this girl just say that she was Russia's girlfriend?! No. Just…no. He couldn't imagine Ivan Braginski- or anyone else, for that matter-actually liking this girl. Poor Canada looked like he couldn't breathe and began to cough. Daisy didn't seem to notice him or the fact that China was staring at her from across the room.
"But then," she continued, "I declared my independence from Russia! He was heartbroken, of course, but he let me go! Then we promised that we'd see each other! Since my island has the world's leading glitter glue export, I worked as a glitter glue saleswoman in America for a year, then I lived on Mars for a while, and now I'm here!"
"…That never happened," Russia said simply. He folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, glancing over at China.
"Of course you wouldn't remember," she replied. "BECAUSE THAT MEANIE CHINA HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD, AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MEMORIES OF ME!"
"I never did that, aru!" China protested. "I've never even seen you before!"
"Yes, you did!" Daisy Starbeam persisted, "BECAUSE YOU'RE A MEANIE WHO HITS POOR, DEFENSELESS NATIONS OVER THE HEAD!"
Before China could reply, a rather annoyed Russia hauled Daisy Starbeam off of Canada, who at this point, was having trouble breathing. He nodded gratefully to the taller nation and sat back down in his chair, still coughing. Even America seemed concerned for his twin brother.
"You can't go around choking the America look-alike, da?" Russia said simply, smiling his creepy, childish smile. "It's just not nice. I'm sure he didn't appreciate it."
Daisy Starbeam was totally unfazed by Russia's…er, creepy-ness, and proceeded to hug him tightly around the waist, since he was so much taller than she was. She then started to cry, sobbing something about how much she missed her Ivan.
Russia, at this point, was considering how lucky he was that Belarus didn't act like this on a daily basis. Belarus herself wasn't able to attend this meeting. If she had, Daisy Starbeam would've resembled Swiss cheese by now.
China, on the other hand, was getting quite disturbed by all of this.
"…And THEN the unicorns were put on the endangered species list, and they killed Kenny!" Daisy Starbeam was sobbing, her tears now forming a lovely wet stain on Russia's jacket. The taller nation didn't mind the fact that his jacket was wet, it was the fact that this girl was now clinging to him. And she wasn't even intimidated by him, which was even worse.
"Hey, Aniki," Korea said suddenly, pulling on the sleeve of China's shirt. Korea had been strangely quiet through all of this, which was odd, given his personality.
"I think that girl's stealing your man." Korea mused, then laughed as China's face turned as red as the shirt he was wearing. Korea, like all the other nations, was disturbed by the girl, but was having too much fun tormenting his Aniki.
"Korea! It's not like that, aru!" China cried. He then noticed Daisy Starbeam glaring at Korea, who was too busy laughing. Her eyes turned dark red, but then she quickly brightened up again and turned back to Russia.
"Let's get married, Ivan!"
The whole room went deadly silent. Even Korea stopped laughing. All the nations turned to Russia, whose expression was unreadable. He looked like he wanted to kill something, which was odd, considering he was usually the one who went around asking everyone to "become one with Mother Russia, da?". This girl must have really gotten on his nerves already if he didn't want to become one with her, and he kept glancing at China.
"I…don't want to become one with you, da?" Russia said after the five minute awkward silence.
"Don't be silly! Of course you do!" Daisy Starbeam's eyes suddenly darkened, similarly to how Russia's did when he was upset. She spoke in a low tone, so only Russia could hear her. "Otherwise…I'll have remove someone. Someone who's wearing a red shirt and has a ponytail…or maybe even your big sister?"
Russia knew exactly who she was talking about- China and Ukraine. Of course, he wasn't afraid of her, and knew China was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He remembered China taking out Germany and Japan with a wok in World War II, among other things. If worst came to worst, he always had his pipe.
"I know what you're thinking," Daisy Starbeam continued, "And you can't defeat me easily. I have SUPAH AMAZIN POWAHS, and I don't think you'd want to challenge those. Here, I'll show you."
Before the taller nation could say anything, Daisy Starbeam snapped her fingers, and Latvia suddenly gasped in pain and fell to the floor. Lithuania and Estonia immediately went to the small nation's side.
"What happened to him!?" Taiwan demanded, looking over at the Baltic nations with concern.
"He…He just collapsed!" Lithuania cried, kneeling down at Latvia's side. "He's alive, but I can't tell what's wrong!"
"I could have done a lot worse than that," Daisy Starbeam grinned rather sadistically. "So…what will it be? Getting married to me, or will you risk the lives or your beloved China and Ukraine?"
For the first time in a very long time, Russia felt somewhat afraid.
A/N: What has Russia gotten himself into (or what have I gotten Russia into)?
This will be concluded in the next chapter, which will probably be up after I update my Death Note fics.