Safe and Sound
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, nor any of the other series I made references to here. Only Daisy Starbeam. Unfortunately. I also own Greenland, who is briefly mentioned. Any other characters belong to Rose Oracle.
A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT OVER FOUR MONTHS FOR AN UPDATE. Things have been quite crazy lately, and I've had no inspiration for this story…or anything, lately…so feel free to throw things at me as long as they're not too heavy. And feel free to throw stuff at me if anyone is OOC. As a small bonus for making you wait so long for an update, enjoy the mini-fluff at the end.
And yes, I have seen Sues for Hetalia. Guys, there are lots of countries, states, provinces, and micronations Hetalia hasn't personified. You don't need to make one up.
Chapter 2- Things Go Wrong
Francis Bonnefoy could be called a simple man- all he really needed to survive was food, water, shelter, and someone to constantly annoy. Clothing was optional. So he'd woken up that morning (after he'd fallen asleep at his computer reading some very naughty fanfiction) and realized that he'd overslept and was going to be late to the meeting. Or more importantly, he was going to be late to his scheduled "annoy Arthur Kirkland time".
So when France melodramatically burst into the meeting room and was about to announce why he was so late, his attention was drawn to Russia, who had a sparkly teenage girl hanging off of his arm screaming "MARRY ME, DAMMIT!" (France would've assumed that it was Belarus if the girl hadn't been sparkling). He also noticed an unconscious Latvia lying on the floor, and Lithuania, who was trying to wake him up. And then there was Hong Kong, who now had braided hair.
"Mon Dieu," France breathed, "I'm never going to be late for a meeting ever again. Hong Kong, that hairstyle does not work for you at all, mon ami!"
Vietnam started arguing with France about Hong Kong's hair, and England began to give up hope of ever getting this meeting back on track. He'd been hoping that France's arrival could straighten things out, but all in all, France's presence had just made things worse.
"EVERYONE, SHUT UP!"
All eyes turned to Daisy Starbeam, who was still clinging to Russia. The room turned deadly silent. France wasn't even sure why he was listening to a sparkly teenage girl clinging to a nation whose mentality was quite questionable, but she was almost glowing dark blue, which was beyond creepy on many levels.
"You're giving my Ivan-kins a headache!" Daisy Starbeam said, in a voice that was so sweet it probably would've caused a normal human to get diabetes upon hearing it. Actually, a normal human probably would've vomiting when hearing our lovely little heroine call Russia "Ivan-kins". Not even Belarus went there.
Speaking of Ivan-kins, he felt his eye twitch.
"Can we just adjourn this meeting? Please?" Taiwan asked. "This is getting nowhere. All any of us are getting is headaches."
"She's right," Vietnam agreed. She glared at France with a look that said, we'll finish this later on Facebook.
"No," replied a very, very annoyed England. "We started this meeting and we're going to bloody finish it! Global warming is an issue we're going to solve, annoying new nation or not."
Daisy Starbeam made at face at the Brit for calling her an annoying new nation, but decided to deal with him later. After all, she had already demonstrated her powers on Latvia, so why shouldn't they work on England? But it was beginning to bother her than people's heads weren't exploding from her sheer awesome, and none of the male nations were in love with her.
And, for the first time in a very, very long time, Russia wished Belarus was at the meeting.
The meeting dragged on as it usually did; America suggested that they should buy the world a giant sunhat to stop global warming this time, and England called him and idiot and told his to stop with the ridiculous ideas. Canada attempted to get the two men to stop arguing, but was ignored and ended up having a conversation with Greenland, who wasn't even quite sure who he was. Estonia continued on his thesis after Lithuania had managed to revive Latvia, and Vietnam and France debated over Hong Kong's hairstyle.
After England couldn't take much more of the meeting, he declared the meeting was adjourned. No one had any objections, so the nations began gathering their things in preparation to leave. Daisy Starbeam, through all of this, was still clinging to Russia. Unfortunately for him, he'd left his infamous pipe at home.
And then, the strangest thing happened.
For around the third time that day, the door to the meeting room was kicked down in a melodramatic fashion complete with a rather loud BANG as a teenage boy with short, reddish-brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a pair of goggles ran in. And the door, not able to withstand anymore kicks, promptly fell down on top of Latvia, only causing the remaining Baltics even more stress.
"Jazz! Stop kick down doors! It gets so annoying after a while!" a teenage girl from behind him sighed. She was a bit taller than him, and had short, dirty blonde hair and light brown eyes. She peered in the doorway and examined the room, where all of the inhabitants were staring at the two teenagers who had just ruined their door.
"Sorry, Lorelai," the boy, Jazz, said sheepishly. "Um, anyways. M-Moving on. Hi, there. I'm Jazz Runo, and this is Lorelai Heights. We're with the Mary Sue Slayer Force, and we're here to take that sparkly girl off of your hands, if you don't mind."
"You can have her!" said America from where he was standing. "Seriously! I think she almost choked my brother, what's-his-face!"
"Canada, you idiot!" England corrected.
"Gazuntite," America blinked.
Where did I go wrong with him? England asked himself as his smacked his forehead once again.
"Uh…" Jazz raised an eyebrow at England's dismay, no really sure what to say about that. "We'll just take the Sue and-"
"NEVER!" Daisy Starbeam roared, tightening her grip on Russia so much that she practically cut off the poor guy's circulation. Her eyes turned a dangerous shade of red- because really, who needs cheap mood rings when your eyes can make just as good ones- and she began to glow, royally freaking out almost everyone in the room.
Greece woke up, took one look at Daisy Starbeam, blinked, glared at Turkey, pet his cat, then when back to sleep.
"Crap, she's a powerful one," Lorelai grumbled, reaching into her bag. She pulled out two swords, and tossed one to Jazz. "We need to take care of her before she hurts any-"
"KILL ME AND CHINA AND UKRAINE DIE."
"…Nevermind. We're doing Plan B."
"What's Plan B?"
"I'll let you know as soon as I think of it."
"…Wait a minute," said Vietnam, rather suddenly. "What in the world is a 'Mary Sue'? And why are you two going around slaying them? I'm sure Russia doesn't have a problem with it, but still."
"A Mary Sue is a perfect character," Lorelai explained quickly. "That are perfect, sparkly, and generally annoying. They're unrealistic and you generally don't want them. We go around destroying them because they mess up universes. It's not too often you see one around here, but when you do, it's big deal."
"ARE YOU THROUGH?!" Daisy Starbeam yelled. She let go of Russia, and then waved her hand. All of a sudden, a giant sword that put Cloud Strife's to shame appeared in her left hand (because, you know, being right-handed is boring and average).
"…How does she lift that thing?" Jazz asked, raising an eyebrow."
"How does Sora's hair stick up like that, even when it's wet?"
Pretty ticked off at this point, Daisy Starbeam charged at the duo with her physics (and logic)-defying sword. The two barely had enough time to block, and sparks flew off from the clashing of metal. The nations stood there in silence, watching the fight, knowing there wasn't much they could do.
The Sue then flipped backwards, and waved her hand. Suddenly, a spider the size of a softball appeared on Jazz's shoulder. The boy, paled, made some sort of noise that sounded a lot like a scream, and fell over, trying to get the spider off. Lorelai had no time to turn around and help him as the Sue then charged at her.
"We have to help them! Or at least, the hero of the entire world should!" America exclaimed, striking a rather heroic pose. "Alright, you're all my backup!"
"Bro, do you want to get killed…?" Canada asked shyly. Kumajiro poked his face.
"Silly…whatever your name is! I'm a hero! I can't get killed!"
"Stay out of this!" Lorelai cried as she managed to slash Daisy Starbeam's arm. The swords she and Jazz were using were specially modified to hurt Sues, as normal weapons generally don't work on them. The Sue paused and waved her finger, like Lorelai was a five year-old who just did something naughty.
"Remember, if you kill me, China and Ukraine die, too!" she smiled creepily.
The expression on China's face was unreadable as he kept looking from Korea to Japan to Taiwan to Hong Kong to Russia.
And then, something of either a miracle or chance happened- your choice.
Daisy Starbeam when to shoot and energy beam at Lorelai, who ducked. The beam went flying, hit a mirror, and cut Iceland's check. The wound wasn't deep at all and he didn't seem to be in pain from it, but the beam did destroy to tissue box he was using for his cold.
Norway, who was sitting near Iceland, would not stand to see his little brother get hurt. He muttered a few words under his breath, and all of a sudden, Daisy Starbeam was knocked off her feet by some unseen force. The Nordic then went over to see if his brother was alright and to see if he had any spare tissues.
The distraction gave Lorelai just enough of a chance to get the upper hand and point her sword menacingly at Daisy Starbeam's throat.
"Undo whatever it is you did to China and Ukraine and get rid of the spider, or I'll recite decent literature."
"No…no…anything but that!" Daisy Starbeam wailed.
"Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene…" Lorelai said. England looked on approvingly.
"Fine, fine! JUST MAKE IT STOP!" the Sue screamed. She snapped her fingers and the spider was gone. "CHINA AND UKRAINE SHOULD BE FINE NOW! JUST LET ME GO! NO MORE SHAKESPEARE!"
"Sorry, no can do," said Lorelai, as she stabbed Daisy Starbeam. She screamed and exploded into pink, sparkly dust with Russian flag confetti.
"That was…something." said Denmark, after a good five minutes of awkward silence. "Well, Norge, what do you know! Your weird magic finally came in handy!"
"…I did nothing," Norway blinked. "What are you talking about?"
Jazz got up and brushed himself off, still recovering from the spider incident. "S-Sorry I wasn't much of a help there, Lorelai. You know how I am with s-spiders…"
The female Sue Slayer sighed. "It's okay, sweetheart. Now come on then, hurry up. We have to get rid of this Death Note Sue in ten minutes-"
"Death Note…?" Jazz repeated apprehensively.
"Yeah, where my brother disappeared," Lorelai said quietly, touching the blue bandana tied around her arm. "But we'll find him someday. I know it."
"Uh, well. If you two have to get going," England said suddenly, "We'd like to thank you for getting rid of that…erm, Mary Sue."
"It's our job. Oh, and sorry about your door," Jazz said sheepishly. He waved a little goodbye as his ran our the doorway, with Lorelai closely behind.
After the meeting, China was walking to the airport, with his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark jacket. He hated the cold weather, he realized, and wondered why he didn't just take America's advice and call for a taxi. After 5,000 years of being alive and taking care of his siblings, he should be entitled to be lazy every now and then.
The Asian nation spun around to see Russia walking towards him. That would alarm most people, but some how, it didn't bother Yao so much anymore. He stopped and waited for Russia to catch up with him.
"You are alright, da?" Russia smiled.
"Yes," China replied, and continued walking. Russia walked next to him. "That girl was crazy, huh, aru?"
"She made Belarus's obsession with me look normal," Russia nodded. "But you know I would have never allowed her to hurt you."
"Is that so…?" China asked. He'd fought and defended himself many different times against many different people, but never against a sparkly teenage girl who practically killed Latvia. "Ivan, that girl was dangerous, aru."
"I know." Russia stopped and bit his lip, thinking about something thoughtfully for a moment.
"What is it, aru?"
"…I don't think I would have wanted her to become one with Mother Russia."
China couldn't help but smile and roll his eyes. "How much farther is the airport, aru?"
"I am not sure. You might want to just wait for a taxi."
The smaller nation nodded and took a seat on a bench on the sidewalk. Russia sat next to him. He looked at China for a moment, then looked at his scarf. Then, he took off said scarf, put some of it around China's neck, and some of it around his own.
"What are you doing, aru!?" China cried.
"You seemed cold, da? Ukraine used to do this for me when I was young." Russia seemed hurt by China's sudden offense. "You do not like this?"
"…No, it's fine, aru. Let's just wait for the taxi."
"I think the rest of today will be a good one."
Meanwhile, back at the meeting room, only America, England, and Canada were left. The others had long cleared out. The room was in decent shape for a place that had just held a fight between a sparkly teenager and two kids with swords. The door was kicked down, there was a broken window, there was a pile of sparkly pink dust with Russian flag confetti in it on the floor, and the floor had scratch marks on it, but other than that, it looked perfectly normal.
"So, England, today I realized something!" America said.
"And what is that, America?" England sighed, checking his pockets to see if he had any headache relief pills left. When you know Francis Bonnefoy, you tend to carry these things around.
"That when France is late to a meeting, weird things happen!"
"Is that because the one time Papa shows up late, Russia gets a Mary Sue stalker?" Canada suggested.
"No! It's because Hong Kong let two girls braid his hair! Everyone knows his hair would look better in just a plain old ponytail!"
A/N: And we're done! I hope the fluff didn't suck too badly…I generally don't write those kinds of things.