"Watching him in this state, I wondered if I really had done the right thing in changing him back"

As a (fanfic) writer, and a huge fan of the series, I thought up this little "what-if" after reading the fourth book "Blood Promise". Book five "Spirit Bound" has yet to come out. I'm not sure where this little story of mine would take place. And once we, the fans, are able to read books five and six, this will probably be irrelevant anyway.

Points To Acknowledge:
Okay, so to save me writing tons of back-story to get to this "what-if" thingy. I will list these points. Go with it. Please read and keep in mind when reading the story.

. Lissa and Christian have made up. As we know they will.
. Rose, Lissa and Christian have graduated.
. They, along with Adrian share a house in the Royal Court. They're Housemates.

. In days just past, the four of them freed Victor, and went to find Robert. They found the information they needed to bring Dimitri back. A plan was set up, and by using the means of "Spirit" they set off to hunt down the man Rose loves, before he hunts them.

. Despite setbacks, and overwhelming odds, they did it, they found him. And, between the four of them, they undid Dimitri's darkness. Once again, the man rose loves walks in the light, once again he's a Dhampir. But with his soul whole again, he still remembers his short life as a Strigoi. The violent and bloody acts which he committed plague his every thought. Is he strong enough to overcome it? Will Rose be able to help him?

Read on to find out…


IT HAD BEEN ABOUT FIVE HOURS since we had arrived back at the house. Dimitri remained unconscious throughout the journey. A small part of me was grateful for that. Christian and Adrian, with my help, had half dragged, half carried him up to my room. Then, save for a few wise ass remarks from both of them, they promptly left. I was grateful for that also.

Dimitri had been changed back now for a little over twelve hours. I was still having trouble believing that we'd actually pulled it off. But, here he was, no longer a Strigoi, a Dhampir once again. Lying next to him on my bed, I watched him sleep. Slowly he had regained his normal colour. His pale Strigoi features fading, as if he'd never been one of those evil things at all. But he had, I knew he had, and for as long as I lived, even with him changed back, I'd never be able to forget that. I took in his gorgeous facial features and that dark chin-length hair, which partly hung over his face. This was the man I loved. This was Dimitri. Not Strigoi Dimitri. Dimitri, Dimitri. I silently thanked God for this moment. I seemed to be doing that a hell of a lot lately.

My mind travelled back to late last night. Our plan to change him back had worked, but barely. The change itself had been horrible, it had been painful for me to watch, but even more painful for Dimitri to endure. Robert had said, it was like being reborn, and if we could remember our birth, it was supposed to be painful. I wasn't a hundred percent sure if I believed him; after all, he was crazy. Dimitri had convulsed wildly, he'd cried out, and looked terrified. The change had lasted several minutes, and the four of us, me, Adrian, Christian and Lissa, had to hold him down during that time. It wasn't easy. And seeing the pain he was in, I had wondered if we were doing the right thing. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind, and decided that we were.

As I watched Dimitri sleep, I recalled what Robert had said about after the Change. "After it happens, for a while, they don't know who they are. Then their memories come back to them. It's like a tidal wave. It's like remembering your whole life within the space of a few seconds. In the case of your Dimitri, his Dhampir life and his Strigoi life, and that's not a good mix". I wasn't sure what he'd meant by that, 'not a good mix', so I'd asked him. "Think about it" he'd said, "He was, from what Victor has told me, quite the model citizen. Always doing the right thing", he flashed me a grin, "Well, mostly. Not so much when it came to you, I suppose". I glared at him; he really was Victor Dashkov's brother. It took all my will power not to punch him in the face.

He continued, "And once he was forcefully turned, he began to kill. He took innocent lives. He behaved in the exact opposite of his old life. When he remembers those evil deeds, well, that's not going comfort him, is it?". Robert sighed, "Moral compass can be such a fickle thing". Robert had been right, it had taken both Adrian and Lissa's healing abilities to calm him down, as well as my own presence. I'd talked to him, I'd try to explain what had happened, how we'd changed him back, but I don't think he took much of it in. He was sort of in a stoic-like state. And kept muttering "No… No… No…" over and over. Maybe he was in shock, I wasn't sure. I wasn't even sure, at that point, if he even recognized me. I voiced aloud if perhaps we should render him unconscious, everyone thought it was a good idea. Adrian said he'd oblige, and before I could stop him, he mustered all his strength, and clocked Dimitri hard in the face. I was not amused.

I lightly ran my fingers over Dimitri's hair, careful not to wake him. Robert had told me to not expect much over the first few hours. Then he told me, to expect a wave of emotions. "Every emotion under then sun", he's said. He ticked them off on his fingers, anger, depression, guilt, rage, sadness, disgust, fear, contempt, disgrace, torment, shame. On and on he listed. It lasted for at last two minutes. I didn't know that there were that many emotions for one person to feel. And those he listed were only the negative kind.

Suddenly, he woke. He opened his eyes and I looked straight into them; gorgeous dark brown, with no hint of red looked back into my own. For a moment, nothing was wrong, all of this had never happened. We were back in the cabin, and everything was wonderful. But only for a moment. Then, I saw something else in them. I couldn't quite make out what it was. I opened my mouth to ask if he was okay, but he spoke first. "Rose" he said. Dimitri saying my name was all it took for something to explode inside of me. It had always been that way – even, although I hated to admit it, when he'd been a Strigoi. It was like fire burning inside of me. In a good way. I raised my hand to brush some stray wisps of his hair out of his face, he caught my wrist. "Don't" he told me. His tone wasn't cold, as such, but it wasn't warm either. I swallowed. Why did it remind me so much of how Strigoi Dimitri had spoken to me? He must have sensed my unease, because he added, "Please. Don't". His tone was a little warmer, but not by much.

After a few moments, he let go of my wrist. He sat up, I followed in suit. I watched him scan the room, in that guardian-like way. Then, he stood up, but as he did, he lost his balance. I jumped up to catch him, or at least try. I grabbed hold of his arm, trying to steady him. For a brief moment, he took my weight to help him right himself, but then pulled out of my grasp. He took a clumsy step forward and almost lost his balance again. He would have fallen if I'd not been there to support him. Quickly, he shook me off – again. That hurt. The first time, I thought he was just trying to be the guy that I knew, the one who, if he could help it, didn't ask for help from anyone. Now, I realised, this was not the case. He didn't want me to touch him. There it was, the first emotion: disgust (with himself, not me, I realised). I pushed that to the back of my mind. I'd just got him back, he'd been though a lot, he'd been though hell, (and well, yeah, so had I), so I wasn't about to get angry with him.

I moved a step closer, but as much as I wanted to, I didn't touch him, "You're weak, you should be sitting down. Better yet, lying down". "I'm fine, Roza" he replied, without actually looking at me when he spoke. "Like hell!" I told him, I didn't shout, but I was firm in my words, "You've just been though a traumatic experience. You need to rest". He looked at me briefly, and then turned away. Again, that hurt. Now he didn't want to look at me. I was beginning to realise what Robert had meant. The Dimitri I knew would never act this way. "Come and sit down" I asked him. "No" was all he said. His tone was uneasy. Silence fell between us. Suddenly he made a move towards my bedroom door. But, no way was I about to let him leave. Not in the condition he was in. I caught his arm, "I don't think so, comrade". My own words surprised me. 'Comrade'. I'd not used that word on him in a long while. He tried to shake me off again; it wasn't going to happen this time. The small amount of force that I used, was enough to almost over balance him. In that moment, I realised how weak he really was. I held on to him, half trying to restrain him, and half helping him keep his balance.

"Stop this. Let me leave!" he snapped – very un-Dimitri-like. Another emotion: anger. The words left my mouth before I had time to think about what I was saying, "Yeah? Like you did?". That was the last thing I had meant to say. I knew he didn't need reminding of the awful things he'd done to me in Russia. Good one Rose, I told myself. My words had stopped him dead in his tracks. His expression immediately changed from anger to something else, guilt. "I didn't mean that" I said quietly. A moment passed between us again, then he suddenly jerked his arm free of my grip, and turned to the door. I meant what I said before; no way was I going to let him leave. Reacting fast, I grabbed him by the shoulders, pushed him into the back of the door, and grabbed his arms, holding them fast behind his back. Then using my full body weight I pinned him there. He struggled a little, but he was too weak to fight my strength, I had him well and truly immobilized. And he knew it. I suddenly realised my actions had mirrored his own when he had held me captive at Galina's. And, if I was honest with myself, that freaked me out. He'd been a Strigoi. What was my excuse?

My eyes travelled to the back of his neck, I saw his Molnija marks, and remembered what they'd once meant to him. Maybe they would again one day, but not any time soon, I figured. I took the pressure off him a little. I half expected him to try and move, he didn't. "Okay, so this can go one of two ways" I told him, "We can sit down, and talk. Or—" I came to a halt. There was no 'or'. I didn't have anything to threaten him with. I wasn't going to use any mind games to keep him here. I wasn't that kind of person. And I loved him too much to do that.

"Please, Dimitri" I seemed to be pleading, "Talk to me. Let me help you". He didn't answer me right away. But after a few moments, he spoke, it was almost a whisper, "You can't help me, Rose. Nobody can…". The next emotion: disgrace. Wow, Robert wasn't kidding, was he? Still holding Dimitri fast against the door, I craned my neck to get a better look at his face. My mouth almost dropped open. Ever since I'd known him, I'd never, never, seen that look on his face. He looked like he was about to cry. For someone who I'd always regarded so strong and able, even in the face of grave danger and great worry for me, this seemed totally wrong.

I think it was my shock that made me release him. I backed up a step, and he turned to face me. He saw the shock on my face. For a moment, I thought he was going to bolt out of the door, he didn't. Instead he walked over to the end of the bed and sat down. He rested his elbows on his knees and hung his head in his hands. I swallowed and then moved over to him. Kneeling down in front of him, I gently pulled his hands away from his face; he looked up at me, but said nothing. I held his hands in mine, glad that he wasn't pulling away from me. "I'm sorry" he breathed. "For what?" I asked. He swallowed, he was finding this hard. "For everything" he said quietly, "Everything I did to you…". More of Roberts list of emotions shone through. I shook my head, "It doesn't matter" I told him firmly. "It does," he argued, "It does matter, Rose. It matters to me". I didn't know what to say to that. He slightly shook his head, remembering, "The violence, the way I spoke to you… oh god, the feeding…" he looked like he was about to break down as he spoke, his voice barely more than a whisper, "You must have been so scared…" he carried on. I wasn't actually, most of my time at Galena's; I was too high, too happily drugged up on the endorphins of his bites. It sickened me to think I'd let him feed off me day after day. That I had willing become evil Dimitri's blood whore.

I repeated myself, "It doesn't matter" I told him, "It wasn't you". He stood up, pulling out of my grip once again. He sighed and turned to face me, "But it was. At least it was part of me. I was still aware of what I was doing. Even if I had a… different view of the world". I knew this was killing him, I could see it in his eyes. The thought of him hurting me, and others, but especially me, haunted his every thought. He avoided my eyes, "The things I've done… the innocent lives I've taken...". He swallowed, then looked up and our eyes met. "You should have killed me on that Bridge. I wish you had of done". His tone was hard, and almost angry. I didn't like it, and I didn't like his words. "No!" I told him. "Don't talk like that!" a surge of worry ran though me. When I had received his note a few days after 'the bridge incident', I'd been terrified, and at the same time relieved. It meant, I hadn't killed him, in some form he was still alive, and armed with the new information I'd had from Mark, I held on to hope that I could get him back. Which, with the help of my friends, I had done, hadn't I? In that moment, I wasn't so sure. This man standing before me did not seem like the Dimitri I'd grown to love.

He took a step back from me, "I can't stay here" he told me. And before I could stop him, he was at the door, pulling it open and rushing out. So much for his weakened state. Just as his skin had turned from that pale Strigoi colour, back to his normal tan, perhaps his Dhampir strength was coming back also. I wondered if he'd been playing me, like I had him in the Cabin. Had he just pretended to be in a weakened state, or had he in this moment found some inner strength? I bolted after him. "Dimitri, wait!" I shouted. I tailed him along the upstarts landing and down the stairs. How he knew where to go, I had no idea. He didn't seem to be slowing down. He reached the last step as I had made it mid-way down the staircase. He moved past the kitchen, and towards the front door. "Dimitri!" I shouted. He ignored me. He threw open the door as I reached the bottom of the stairs. The sunlight flooded the hallway, and I saw him draw back. It had been the first time he'd been swamped in daylight in a good long while, perhaps he forgot that he'd no longer burst into flames. It only took him a second to recover, and he was out the door. I picked up my pace, if that was possible, and ran after him, "Dimitri! Wait! Dimitri!" I shouted frantically. Behind me I heard movement. I ignored it; Dimitri was my priority at that moment.

My feet hit the grass of our front lawn. Dimitri was making his way across it. I lunged at him, with as much power and speed as I possibly could. It worked, we both hit the ground, I landed on top of him and pinned him there. "I won't let you do this!" I told him, "I won't let you just walk away". He tried to push me off him, with no luck. I looked down at him, into those dark eyes. And then, in typical Rose fashion, I said something stupid, "I love you, and I know you love me". I regretted saying it as soon as the words had left my lips. Yes, I did love him, with all of my heart, hadn't I just proved that these past few months? But, it was a wrong call. Right now, that was the last thing that needed to be said. "This isn't about love" snapped Dimitri. He was right. I think.

He struggled against me again, and this time, he managed to push me away. He quickly picked himself up and we faced each other. "Why won't you let me leave?!" he shouted. There it was, anger again. Dimitri never shouted. He was loosing control. Something he always worked hard at to avoid – unlike me. I stepped towards him, but he backed up. Then, I had no idea how it started, or who pulled the first punch, although, I'd take a wild stab and say it was most likely me, we started to trade blows. This was crazy. It was stupid. Neither of us seemed to be getting many hits on the other, mostly we were just blocking each others blows. It was sloppy, on both our parts. Even more so on Dimitri's. This wasn't like him. He never fought like this. He fought with grace and precision, even when he was a Strigoi. This was something very different. It took me a moment to figure it out. I immediately backed off when I finally did. This was Dimitri fighting in despair.

Breathing hard, he looked at me. For a second, I thought he was going to come at me for round two, but he didn't. The ounce of strength he'd seemed to have recovered was gone again. His face was full of mixed expressions: pain, sorrow, guilt. "Let me leave" he repeated, his voice almost breaking. I shook my head, "No. Not like this". Slowly I took a step towards him, "It's okay…" I told him, softly, "It's going to be okay". I reached out to him again, but again he backed up. "I know you're hurting. But you can get through this". He slightly shook his head, as if to disagree. "You can" I told him, firmly. "You can do this, Dimitri. We can do this. Together". I didn't really know what I was saying, if I was saying the right thing, if I my words were even having any affect on him, I hoped to God they were. I slowly reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder, "Talk to me" I asked softly. He lightly shook his head. From his expression, he looked on the verge of breaking down. Damn, what could I do to get him to open up to me?

Then, what happened next, stunned me to the core. He broke. He fell to his knees. Tears freely flowed down his face, and sobs escaped his lips. I froze. I didn't know how to react. His anger, I could handle. His violence, his struggling against me, even his words. But this? This I couldn't deal with. I didn't know how. This wasn't an upset Lissa. This was Dimitri. Brave, strong, able Dimitri. The guy, who around school had earned the nickname "god-like". No, I told myself, this I had to deal with. He needed me to deal with it. He'd always been there for me, taken care of me, protected me – arguably, even when he was a monster. Now, I knew, he needed me to be there for him. I dropped down beside him, and wrapped myself around his frame. After a moment, he reached out and held onto my arms, I think it was to stop himself from falling more than anything else. His hold on me tightened slightly as we knelt there. "It's okay… it's okay…" I said, trying to sooth him as he sobbed. I knew I was repeating myself, but, well, I didn't know what else to say.

"Shit…". I heard a shocked voice behind me. I turned my head to face the voice. There in the doorway stood Lissa, Christian and Adrian. All open mouthed at the scene before them. It had been Adrian who'd spoken. Still holding tight onto Dimitri, I just stared at them. No words were spoken between the four of us. We didn't need any, they could see I was in the same state of shock as they were. They'd all known Dimitri as long as I had, well give or take a few months with Adrian. They'd seen him in action, and like me, never in a million years would they have guessed this scene would take place. Dimitri just wasn't that type of person. Or so we'd all thought. Through our bond, I could feel what my best friend was feeling: apart from the obvious shock, she was sad and worried for Dimitri, and worried for me too. I tried to give her a smile, to indicate everything would be okay. I don't know if I managed it. I saw her tap Christian and Adrian on the shoulder. She beckoned them to go back inside, to give Dimitri and me some privacy. Dimitri – I didn't even know if he was aware that the others were watching. Maybe he was in too much pain to care. I don't know how long we stayed like that, ten minutes, thirty minutes, an hour?

Eventually, he let me lead him back inside and up to my room. It was like he was in a complete daze. A part of me was grateful for that, at last he wasn't fighting me. I slowly led him over to the bed. He was exhausted. He was already weak form the change yesterday, and everything that had happened today couldn't have helped. He laid back down, never letting go of my hand as he did so, which meant I had to lie down next to him. As we faced each other, I scanned his face, it was blank, I couldn't read him. But, I thought to myself, when had I ever been able to read him? The old Dimitri usually never gave much away. I wished I knew what he was thinking. If he was thinking anything at all. Watching him in this state, I wondered if I really had done the right thing in changing him back. Would it have been easier on him if I'd killed him when he'd been a Strigoi? At last then, he'd of been at peace. I looked into those perfect dark eyes, except, they weren't perfect right now. He was looking at me, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were kind of glazed over, and unfocused. They reminded me of the way Feeders looked. After a while his eyelids seemed to slowly close, and he fell into what I was sure would be a very uneasy asleep. I couldn't sleep myself, I had too much on my mind. I wanted to go and speak to Lissa, but I didn't want to leave Dimitri, so I visited her the only way I could, through the bond.

Though Lissa's eyes, I could see she, Christian and Adrian were sat in the lounge. Lissa sat curled up to Christian on the couch, whilst Adrian slouched in a comfy chair almost opposite them, and surprise, surprise, wine glass in hand. "I just can't imagine Belikov like that" Christian was saying, "It was…" he trailed off, apparently unable to finish his sentence. "He's been though a lot" said Lissa, "Oh, and poor Rose…" her heart was breaking for me. "Yeah. Poor Rose" muttered Adrian, as he took a gulp of wine. He'd mentioned my name, not Dimitri's, but I knew it was a stab at him and not me. His tone wasn't bitter as such, but it was something close to it. Was he still mad at me for rejecting him, and choosing Dimitri? I thought we'd got passed that. Obviously not, I realised. Lissa, I knew, could see this too, she jumped to Dimitri's defence, "Come on, Adrian. Give Dimitri a break, you know, he's been though—" Adrian cut her off, "A lot. I know, you said. I helped bring him back for her, didn't I?". Christian chuckled, "Yeah. And by the way, that was some display of power, man". Adrian waved his hand, brushing it off, "Nah. It was nothing". Nothing? Yeah, right. So why did he almost pass out afterwards? Lissa rolled her eyes. Christian chuckled again, "Sure it wasn't" he said, with a Christian-like grin.

Lissa sighed. Her mind was still on Dimitri. "What do you think we can do to help him? Dimitri, I mean". That was Lissa all over. She always wanted to help others – be it people or animals. It was a huge part of why I loved her. "Well, I guess you guys can heal him" said Christian. "Daily doses of Guardian healing. Oh what fun" said Adrian, dryly, sitting up in his seat. "You wouldn't do that for her?" Lissa asked him, "If that's what she wanted us to do?". Adrian sighed, "You know I would" he told her. Damn, he was still hung up on me. We'd have to have a conversation about that. "If that's what she wanted" he carried on. I thought about it, did I? Did I want that? And more importantly, would Dimitri let them? I decided that I'd heard enough, I knew how they all felt about the situation, so I pulled myself out of Lissa's mind.

I watched Dimitri sleep for a long while. I'm not sure how much of the day passed us. I told myself that I wasn't going to sleep, that I'd watch over him. I still wasn't completely sure that he wasn't going to bolt. But the next thing I knew, I was in one of those luxury guest lounges in the Royal Court. "Hello little Dhampir" said Adrian. Oh great. I had fallen asleep. And Adrian had decided to come and visit me in my dreams. Wonderful. I turned to face him. "Adrian" I offered, in greeting. We walked over to one of the lounge couches and sat down. He turned to me, "How are you?" he asked. He seemed full on concern. Right now, I think I'd have preferred the care-free Adrian, not the serious one. "I'm fine" I told him. "Yeah, and lets have a little bit of truth this time" he replied, obviously not believing me. He wasn't chastising me, but I think he was a little annoyed with my lie. I sighed. "What do you want me to say? I'm dealing. Okay?". I so didn't want to talk about my feelings right now. "If you say so" he replied. I knew he didn't believe me, but maybe something in my tone told him to let it go. I suddenly noticed that he had neither any alcohol or cigarettes on him. How very kind, I thought to myself.

After a few moments, he changed the subject, "So, how's Belikov doing?". I turned sharply towards him, "What? You actually care?" I asked. "Of course I care!" he scoffed, "The guy means a lot to you. So, here's me caring". I sighed again. "He's… not so good. I mean, you saw him on the front lawn". Adrian didn't say anything for a few moments, but soon broke his silence, "He'll be okay. Give him time". My voice was shaky when I replied, "You can't know that, Adrian". Adrian put his arm around me, "Well, he's got you, Rose Hathaway. And that is a big advantage. Besides, I'm sure Lissa and I can work our magic a little". I looked up at him, I was grateful for his words, then I said, "What, giving daily doses of Guardian healing? Oh what fun". He flinched. "Ah. You, er… you heard that then, did you?" he looked embarrassed. Which, if I thought about it, was new for Adrian. I nodded, "Yes, I did". He turned away from me. "So, are we a little jealous, then?" I asked him. He laughed. "Well, you do have a tendency to bring that out in us. And by us, I mean men". Typical Adrian – never answering the question directly. But, his words had made me smile. With all the serious Dimitri stuff happening in the real would, I couldn't remember smiling in a while. I needed that. It felt good.

Suddenly Adrian got up. He sighed, "Well, I think I'd better go" he told me. "Oh. Okay" I said, a little surprised of the shortness of his visit. He gave me one of his goofy smiles, and then he was gone. I jerked awake, and looked over to face Dimitri – except he was no longer lying next to me. I bolted up right, panic surging though me. I scanned the room, and saw him. He stood with his back to me, looking out of the window, into the night. Wow. I had been asleep for a while. I slipped off of the bed, and walked over to him. I touched him gently on the shoulder, he jumped. He hadn't sensed me approaching. Once again, something else that was very un-Dimitri-like. "Sorry…" I said. He turned to face me briefly, then back to the window. I slipped my arm around his back. "Tell me what you're thinking" I asked quietly. Once again, he didn't look at me when he spoke, "Nothing" was all he said. I knew that was a lie.

I took his hand, and led him back across the room. He let me with no fight. Was that progress? We sat back down on the edge of the bed, and somehow I ended up on his lap. I looked into his eyes, pleased to see they were no longer glazed over and unfocused – Just full of sadness. That made my heart ache for him. I cupped my hands around his chin, and then leaned in to kiss him. He didn't pull away, and after a moment he kissed me back. It was gentle, but passionate, not violent and hungry like it had been at Galina's. His lips and skin were warm, not that Strigoi cold. And, there were no fangs. After a few moments, he put his hands on my shoulders and pulled out of the kiss. "I can't" he told me. I knew he wasn't rejecting me as such; he was just in too much pain to, well, make out. I gave him a nod of understanding, and suddenly realised how selfish kissing him had been. And I hated myself for it. A part of me was just so desperate for him. Well, I told myself, I'll just have to wait. What he needs comes first.

After a few moments, he reached up and gently brushed away my hair from the right side of my neck, and slowly traced his fingers from my jawbone down to my collarbone. They were warm, and light on my skin. God, that felt good. I suppressed a moan. This isn't the time for that Rose, I chastised myself. He was deep I thought as he did this. I knew what he was doing, he was remembering. This had been where his Strigoi self had bitten me day after day. The bite marks had long since gone, and physically there was no trace they'd ever been there. Mentally they still were, for both of us. His gaze went from my neck up to my face, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry" he said slowly, in a pained tone. And he was, he meant it with every fibre of his being. I caught his hand in mine, "I know" I told him softly. His face showed that my words hadn't comforted him any. He swallowed, then looked at me, his expression looked as if he wanted to tell me something. After a few moments, he spoke, "I see them, Rose… Their faces…". This was it; finally, finally he was opening up to me, "Every single one of them…" he carried on. I didn't need to ask who he was talking about, I knew – those he'd killed. "I hear their screams as I—" he stopped himself, unable to finish. He closed his eyes, and squeezed them shut, trying to block out the images, I assumed. My heart broke for him. He was in so much pain, and there was nothing I could do to relieve it. I felt helpless. Hearing him talk like this, that old question came back to me, had I really done the right thing in changing him back?

After a moment, he opened them again. "Hey," I said, "I don't care what you say, that wasn't you". He opened his mouth to protest, but I held my fingers gently to his lips. I shook my head, "It wasn't you. I've seen you, and I've seen what you became, remember?" I told him, "It wasn't you" I repeated firmly. I wasn't sure if he believed my words or not. "We'll get through this. I promise", I carried on. He didn't say anything; he just continued to look at me. "I mean, I know it's not going to be easy. But we can do this. You can do this". He swallowed. "One day at a time, okay?" I told him. He didn't look very convinced. Which was why his words surprised me, "One day at a time" he repeated quietly. I nodded. Then I pulled myself into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. And after a moment he retuned the hug, wrapping his arms around me. "I love you, Roza" he said quietly. God, I'd waited so long to hear those words again. In that moment, it felt like the entire world had faded away, and it was just the two of us. "I love you too" I told him. We stayed in that embrace for long while, neither one of us wanting to let go.

Please let me know what you think. This is my first VA fiction. Please be kind.

Hey guys. Thanks for all the kind reviews. I was shocked that so many people liked this. So thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Many of you have asked if I will continue, well, this was always meant to just be a short one-shot type thing, never anything more. So, at the moment, I don't have any plans to continue, but, I may do more VA stories in the future. Thanks again for reading.

Okay guys, so I've thought of another few ideas to continue this story – as a lot of you wanted me to. So keep an eye out for part two coming very soon.