I'm back and better than ever! Well, not really. BUT…I was distracted enough from the horrors of my Intro to Humanities course (Philosophy in a clever-yet-sinister disguise) to write this lovely story for you. I've been hitting writer's block for a while now, and I figured that a good way to fix it would be through challenges and whatnot. Shoutout to brickroad16, who came up with the prompt idea over at the forums. This is for you, Glee fans. :)

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Chuck or Glee, no matter how obsessed I am with the two shows.

Chuck Versus the Closet Gleek

by crystalelements

Ding ding ding…

Sarah barely registered the sound, much too engrossed with the screen in front of her to pay it any mind. It wasn't until a sudden movement in her peripheral vision caught her attention that Sarah finally shot into agent mode. Panicked, she hastily ripped the wires out of her ears and tossed the contraption aside before plastering an all-too innocent smile on her face.

Chuck blinked in confusion as the door to the Orange Orange swung shut behind him.

"What was that?"

Sarah cocked her head to the side. "What was what?"

"You just…" Chuck trailed off uncertainly, pointing from Sarah to the discarded object behind the counter. His eyes widened, recognizing the white wires almost immediately. "Are those…earphones?"

Sarah simply pursed her lips.

Chuck strode over to the counter, a grin creeping onto his face. "If I remember correctly, Sarah Walker doesn't listen to music." He cast a curious glance at her iPhone. "Unless you actually took my advice on Arcade Fire? Auditory aphrodisiac, yes?" He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis.

Sarah laughed, leaning against the counter. "Nice try, but no."

"Governmental doo-higgy?"

"Not this time, thankfully."

Chuck's brow furrowed. "Then what were you doing?"

A secretive smile danced on Sarah's lips. "I'll never tell."

Chuck stared at her. "You're kidding. Come on, Sarah, it can't be that big of a deal – "

"It's not," she cut in, offering a nonchalant shrug. "And that's why you don't need to know."

Chuck stuck out his lip in an exaggerated pout. "Fine, Miss Super Secret Agent. Can I least help myself to some fro-yo so I can drown my disappointment in delicious, fruity orange bliss?"

Sarah rolled her eyes and motioned towards the machine behind her. Chuck happily obliged, his smile suspiciously cheerful as he overloaded the cup with a spiraling mountain of frozen yogurt. When he was done, he turned with a flourish and held it out to her.

"Toppings, if you may." He winked. "I'll let you decide."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "My choice, huh?" She reached for the cup turned to open the glass. "I don't see why you can't just – "

That's when it clicked.

Her eyes widened in horror. Shit! Smooth move, Walker!

Flinging the cup of frozen yogurt aside, she spun around and lunged towards her iPhone just as Chuck dove forward to grab it. He collided into her at full force, and they both grappled for possession of the device for approximately three seconds before Sarah was able to snatch it out of Chuck's grasp. She shoved it into her back pocket with a triumphant smirk.

"Think you can outwit a CIA agent, Chuck?" Sarah challenged, her breath a little winded from the sudden exertion.

Chuck was heaving as well. "You have to admit, I almost had you." He grinned. "Split second later and I would've had one more uncovered secret in my Sarah Walker file. So close!"

His grin was infectious; Sarah found her lips curling upward. "Not close enough, I guess."

Conveniently enough, it was at that exact moment that the irony of her word choice decided to hit her – Chuck had her pinned to the counter with his weight, both of them still tangled together in awkward positions from the scuffle. Smile fading, Sarah sucked in a shaky breath.

Or maybe too close.

Suddenly, she was short of breath for an entirely different reason.

Chuck, on the other hand, must have been thinking especially hard about the mystery on her iPhone; he continued to stare at her intently, completely oblivious of their…compromising proximity. Sarah bit her lip, cursing silently when her gaze flickered helplessly to that goddamned heartmelting smile.

His eyes instantly lit up, sparkling in obvious delight, and she bit back another curse.

Okay, so he's not as oblivious as I thought. I am seriously losing my tou –

The rest of the thought dissolved into mush as she felt Chuck lean forward; her eyes fluttered shut on sheer instinct, heart pounding wildly. Screw the damn cover – all it took was a few inches, really –

Ding ding ding!

The jingle of the door jolted both of them back to reality, and Chuck sprung up and away from Sarah so fast he nearly fell over backwards. Together, they spun to face the familiar scowling face at the door, their faces equally flushed in embarrassment.

Casey fixed his teammates with a glare. "Can't you two lovebirds keep your junk in the trunk for more than two seconds? One of these days I might actually be caught off guard and hurl my guts out." Grunting, he tossed a black dufflebag to Sarah, who caught it in surprise.

"Beckman's got another mission for us tonight. Briefing in five."

Sarah and Chuck exchanged questioning glances before following Casey into the freezer.

"Sooo…sappy chick flick?"

"Not now, Chuck."

Get in, flash, intercept intel, get out, Chuck chanted silently, stepping into the long hallway as the elevator doors glided open. Easy. We'll be out in less than an hour.

He stopped abruptly at the last thought. Whoa, I've been in this business for way too long. Not exactly a good thing. Chuck stole a glance at the sleek, black, CIA-issued tux he was currently sporting and cracked a grin, wondering what kind of dress Sarah would be slipping into for tonight's mission.

Well…not exactly a bad thing, either…

"Are you kidding me?!"

Chuck gave a violent start at the sound of Sarah's voice, eyes flying to her door in shock.

Mind reader?!

Wow, how stupid. As if she actually knew he was picturing her in various sexy outfits. Suddenly embarrassed, Chuck quickly shook the thought from his mind when he heard her muffled voice again.

"Oh my god…" She sounded panicked. "What are you doing?! No!"

The alarm bells immediately went off in Chuck's head.

Is someone in there with her?!

He slowly inched towards the door, the dread bubbling in his gut. No crashes or thuds, no sounds of fighting. Why wasn't she doing anything?


Chuck froze in utter bewilderment. Now she just sounded annoyed.

What the hell is going on in there?

He made the last few strides to Sarah's door. There were voices now; Chuck leaned forward, trying to distinguish the sounds.


Last time he checked, Sarah didn't watch television – didn't even own one, in fact – and on the occasions that she did, it was either for strict cover maintenance or the "mandatory sci-fi education sessions" he sometimes put her through. Why she would be reacting to a television show now, especially to such a passionate degree, could only mean…

Right on cue, the pieces fell into place, and Chuck's jaw dropped open in disbelief.

That's her secret!

Taking extreme care in being as silent as possible, he quickly plastered himself to the door, ear flat against the wood. If Sarah knew he was outside spying on her like this, she'd probably kung fu his ass right out of her hotel window. Of course, that would mean he'd never find out what show it was that she was so apparently enamored with, and…well, that was just plain unacceptable.

Speaking of which, why did it sound so vaguely familiar…?

"Sir, can I help you?"

Chuck barely held in the yelp of surprise. He shot away from the door like it was on fire, spinning around to gawk at a bellhop wheeling a room service cart.

"Sir," the man repeated tersely, suspicion written all over his face. "Are you a guest here, or should I be calling security to escort you out?"

Crap! "No, no, I'm a guest!" Chuck whispered hastily, backing up against the door. He let out a nervous laugh, wracking his brain for a plausible explanation. Where's the stupid Intersect info flash when you need it? "I…well, see, I forgot my room key inside, and my girlfriend…I-I think she might be sleeping, and I wouldn't want…well, of course I'll have to get inside at some point, but – "

Before he could finish his pathetic attempt at an excuse, the door to Sarah's room was yanked open, and Chuck toppled over backwards into the room with a startled yell.

Sarah barely flinched as he crashed the ground. Peeking around the door, she flashed a disarmingly cheerful smile to the bellhop, whose mouth dropped open in surprise.

"Hi! Sorry about that, my boyfriend can be a little strange at times." She stole a quick glance at Chuck, who was currently groaning on the carpeted floor, and rolled her eyes. "Oh, honey, you're fine." She turned and winked at the bellhop, who swooned against his cart, the beginnings of a lopsided grin appearing on his face. "Thanks for your concern. I'll take it from here."

With that, she closed the door, façade dropping almost immediately. Without turning, she folded her arms across her chest and sighed in annoyance.

"Chuck, what are you doing?"

Chuck, who was currently slithering his way across the carpet towards the open laptop on Sarah's bed, froze in terror.

"Uhh…" He shuffled awkwardly to his feet as Sarah spun around and pinned him with a frosty glare. "Meeting up with you for tonight's mission?" Speaking of mission…Chuck did a quick appraisal of her satiny emerald dress. Yep. Definitely sexy.

Sarah's eyes narrowed. "I'm a CIA agent, Chuck, not an idiot. I'm talking about – don't even think about it – " she growled abruptly, and Chuck's eyes snapped away from the bed and back to her – "I'm talking about your spy tactics, which really suck, by the way."

Chuck deflated, letting out a chuckle of defeat. "Yeah, I know. Two years in the business, and you'd think I'd be better at it." He cracked a small smile, trying to ease the tension in the room. "Then again, two years hasn't exactly taught me to stay in the car, either…"

Sarah's glare melted almost immediately, but not for the reasons he'd hoped. Sighing, she dropped her gaze.

"You were never meant for this kind of job, Chuck," she said quietly.

Uh oh. Let's not go down this road again. Desperate to stay away from the particularly depressing topic at hand, Chuck diverted the conversation away from turbulent waters the only way he knew how:

"It's a television show."

Sarah's head snapped up so fast he swore he heard a crack. Shedding her solemn mood like a coat, she fixed Chuck with a horrified look.

"How much did you hear?" She demanded, voice wavering, and suddenly all aspects of Agent Walker were virtually nonexistent. She was Sarah Walker, a normal 20-something-year-old woman with the biggest, most dreadful-yet-typical secret anyone could ever hope to have:

A guilty pleasure.

And let's face it – when you're no longer dealing with a highly skilled, dangerously kickass CIA agent, you'd have to be an idiot not to take the chance.

"Well, I didn't actually hear much before you caught on," Chuck replied, shrugging. "But it did sound like something I've heard before…"

Sarah clung to his every word. "You…" she breathed, eyes narrowing into slits, "you don't know, do you?"

Whether it was a statement or a question, Chuck couldn't tell. Instead, he smiled an all-too innocent smile and shrugged again. "Well, that would depend on you, I guess."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you – "

And that's how Sarah made her second stupid mistake of the day. Before the words were even out of her mouth, Chuck was already sprinting towards the bed, arms outstretched and reaching for –


With a primal shriek, Sarah flung herself across the room with speed that could only rival a cheetah.

"Don't you DARE, Chuck!!!"

She tackled him just as he reached the foot of the bed, sending the both of them flying onto the mattress in a tangle of limbs. The laptop skidded to the edge. Chuck's hands shot out just as it toppled over; miraculously, he snatched it midair and hauled it back onto the bed, eyes quick to search the screen. He found the minimized window on the bottom of the screen and clicked it.

Sarah, who was currently splayed across his back, twisted around with a snarl. She shoved his face into the mattress just as the window popped up in all its guilt-pleasured glory. Chuck furiously thrashed against her, trying to throw her off his back –

Suddenly the iPhone on Sarah's bedstand went off with a shrill, generic ringtone. Both Chuck and Sarah froze. Sparing a glance at the screen, Sarah cringed at the sneering face of John Casey staring back at her.

Crap! The mission!

"We're late," she hissed. "Dammit, Casey's gonna kill us!"

"S'ruh…m cn't breave…"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied, not in the least bit apologetic. Releasing her grip on the back of Chuck's head, she rolled off his back and brushed off her now-wrinkled dress in irritation. Agent Walker was back and in control.

"Come on, Casey's probably waiting for us downstairs," she said, not bothering to see if Chuck was getting up. Snatching up her still-ringing iPhone from the bedstand, she touched the screen and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Where the hell are you, Walker?!" Casey's voice barked. "You and the nerd were supposed to be down here two minutes ago!"

"We're leaving the room now," Sarah gritted, grabbing her gun from the counter.

"I swear to God, if you two were playing kissy-face or some other disgusting love game – "

Sarah promptly hung up on him. Yanking open the door, she spared a single hurried glance over her shoulder before disappearing into the hallway.

"Hurry up, Chuck!"

"I know," Chuck replied, no longer bothering to hide the gleeful grin spreading across his face. "I'm coming."

He closed Sarah's laptop and quickly followed suit.

And this concludes part one. Yeah, I know, I totally spoiled Sarah's television obsession from the title of this story along with the author's note and disclaimer, but you still want to see what happens, right? Right???