Disclaimer: I clearly do not own anything within...props to Disney and such.

A/N: So upon reading the prompts for the latest PHM challenge I was sold on this one and pelted this out quite quickly. I actually have two other responses to the other PHM challenges that I hope to get up sooner than later.
Also, sorry for the title. Seriously, that title was crazy clever/funny to my 3:25 am yesterday self. I'm just too lazy to think up another one now that I'm a little more alert.
I am SO behind in writing/reading fic. Dear midterms: you have killed me dead. I'm hoping to finish several of my almost there fics and finally get to posting and reviewing again within the next couple of weeks.

Challenge #4
Clichés or Sayings – #7


Kevin was zoning in and out during the last fifteen minutes of his trig class. It had been 3 hours since he'd last eaten and lunch was so close that he could taste it. Literally. It clearly smelt like the lunch staff was making mystery loaf with the weird maroon sauce-like substance. Kevin was so hungry at this point that just the thought of the normally gross lunch was making his mouth water.

"Thinking about Macy?"

Kevin blinked and turned to the desk to his left to see Leo something-or-other giving him this smug little smile that Kevin hoped wasn't causing his cheeks to burn red. He was pretty sure they were anyway though because even he knew what Leo was alluding to. Kevin reached up and wiped at his mouth just in case he was drooling or something. He wasn't. Apparently while he was hungry he wasn't that hungry. Yet. There was still 12 minutes to lunch. Who knew what would happen within that time.

"Don't blame you, though."

Right, Leo. Kevin shifted to his left again. They were talking about Macy, not food. Hm, he must really be hungry if he'd managed to forget about Macy. Before Kevin could ask what why Leo would blame him about anything, the other teen continued speaking.

"She's hot for a sophomore. Still can't believe you guys haven't made it official though. I know tons of guys who've been trying to date Macy."

They were a topic of conversation at the school? Amongst the guys?

Leo was right though. Kevin and Macy hadn't made anything official. They'd gone on several dates but the one time they'd been cornered by paparazzi at a movie premier and Kevin had been asked if they were boyfriend and girlfriend they both had let out a really awkward, embarrassed laugh and said "no".

Not that Kevin didn't want to be Macy's boyfriend. He'd just seen enough of his younger brothers' failed relationships to know he didn't want to hastily jump into anything with Macy. It had seemed perfectly logical at the time to try a few dates before they declared themselves madly in love and boyfriend and girlfriend.

Even though, 6 and 3/4 dates later (he couldn't count their fourth date as a full date because he'd eaten the bad burrito and ditched Macy at the baseball game to go to the hospital. Macy hadn't noticed until the end of the game so they both called it even and there were no hard feelings. Although Kevin had slipped $50 into her bag the next day to pay for the cab she had needed to call to get back into the city.) Kevin was pretty sure he was madly in love with her.

Wait a second...

Other guys have been asking out his almost-not-quite girlfriend? "Other guys have been--?"

"Why the hell would he bother, Leo? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Leo let out a whoop of shocked laughter before he tried stifling the noise behind his hands. Adam Higgs, who'd tossed the comment out, laughed and held his fist out for -- Kevin thinks Joe calls it -- props.

Why in the world was Adam talking about livestock ownage?


Kevin was still frowning in confusion over the conversation he had partially taken part in as he slowly made his way to the cafeteria.

The cow comment was still playing back in his mind. Why had Adam randomly brought up farm animals? How in the world had they moved from talking about Macy to talking about free milk? But the way Leo had laughed? There was clearly something Kevin was missing out on.

As Kevin walked through the food line he scanned the room for Macy. By the time he hit the cash register he'd finally spotted his petite almost-not-quite girlfriend. She was off in the far corner and appeared to just be settling in.

The lunch lady glanced down critically at Kevin's tray but handed his change over without comment.

Kevin greeted Macy as he slid into the seat beside her and couldn't help but be a little pleased that his siblings were eating in the hall today. He and Macy didn't tend to get much alone time when they were at school, so he looked forward to this next block of one-on-one time with her.

Macy gave him a sweet smile before her attention was drawn to his tray. "Eww, Kevin. Really? Mystery meat? No one ever buys that. Is it pig, is it cow? No one knows for, as its name suggests, it is a mystery."

Cow. Right. Kevin had been distracted by Macy and he'd nearly forgotten about Adam's comment.


"Huh?" Kevin glanced up at Macy and quickly swallowed his mouthful. The meat wasn't that bad, maybe it was cow. "Sorry, just thinking about...class."

"Blah, it's lunch time! I don't want to think about class! I only managed 94% on that history quiz yesterday. It's going to bring my mark down a half percent." Macy gave a heavy sigh as she placed a napkin across her lap and went about opening her lunch.

Kevin leaned over and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Sorry to hear that but 97.5% is still a pretty great mark, Macy." Kevin cut into his mystery meat again. Cows and milk. Free milk and buying cows...or, technically, not buying cows. What did it all mean?

"Oh, here. For you."

Kevin stared at the carton of chocolate milk Macy pushed his way. "What?"

"I wanted white but they only had chocolate left so I figured you'd like it," Macy explained as she picked up her veggie wrap and promptly pulled a chunk of tomato from within and popped it into her mouth.

"You're giving me milk?"


"For free?"

Macy frowned and finally pulled her attention away from her wrap. She chewed slowly on a cucumber as she said "yes".

Kevin never used to second guess any gifts. Least of all gifts that came from his almost-not-quite girlfriend. But the sound of Leo and Adam laughing still rang freshly in his mind. How weird. Had they known Macy was going to be offering him milk? Kevin glanced over his shoulder but couldn't spot either of his classmates.

"Oh, um, here," Kevin said, shifting in his seat to pull out his wallet.

"Kevin," Macy started, laughing, "it's just milk. Take it."

"But I think I'm supposed to buy it." Kevin frowned and pulled a confused face. "Or something."

"What you're supposed to do is say 'thank you, Macy' and enjoy it."

"Well, if you're sure..."

"I'm sure." Macy shook her head ruefully and picked up her bottle of orange juice to shake it.

Kevin kept thinking back to Adam's really random comment. And people thought he was random! Ha! He had nothing on Adam. Kevin took a slow, thoughtful sip of his (free) chocolate milk.

He was pretty sure Adam hadn't been talking about an actual cow. It didn't make a lick of sense when put together with what Leo had been talking about and it was quite clear that Leo had got what Adam was talking about. Kevin was also pretty sure that Adam wasn't a psychic and would have had no idea that Macy would be giving Kevin free milk barely 15 minutes after his off handed remark.

What Kevin did know was that Adam had butted in during a conversation about Macy.

Kevin glanced over just in time to see Macy take a large bite of her wrap. She seemed to realize she was being watched and she blushed prettily as she hastily brushed the shredded lettuce from her mouth.

Adam had butted in during a conversation about Macy and the fact that Kevin was dating her but not calling her his girlfriend.

Kevin speared a chunk of mystery meat and skipped the maroon sauce. 'Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free'? He hadn't had to pay for Macy to date him. Well he'd paid for a few of the dates but he was pretty sure that didn't count. So that meant, probably, that Macy wasn't the 'milk' in that conversation.

This only left one other option.

"I think Adam Higgs called you a cow, earlier," Kevin said as he squirted some mustard into the maroon sauce to achieve a rich orange color.


The mustard turned out to be a good choice, Kevin discovered as he slathered it over his mystery meat. So, Macy was the cow in the equation. Kevin was pretty sure he couldn't buy her, her parents seemed quite fond of her. So buying had to allude to something else. This also meant that milk had to stand for something too. Well unless Adam thought that the only perk to dating Macy was getting free chocolate milk.



Adam thought Kevin didn't want the hassle of an actual girlfriend and just wanted to see Macy casually!

Well that was just ridiculous. Did other people seriously think that too? That he wasn't bothering to make Macy his official girlfriend because it was easier just to get a few dates out of her?

"He called me a cow?!"

It again occurred to Kevin that clearly some of the guys at school, despite everyone knowing they were dating, were still asking Macy out. That thought bugged Kevin even more at this point. Oh, he knew Macy had turned down the few advances she'd received since they'd started dating but still! Had people no decency?

Kevin didn't go dating all willy-nilly around the school. He never had and never would. So why would other guys think it was ok to try asking out his almost-not-quite girlfriend?

Almost-not-quite, Kevin realized, is where the problem laid.

Looking up Kevin noticed some dark haired guy looking their way and sent him an angry glare. No more would Kevin stand for other guys trying to come all up on his farm to steal his cow away for her awesome milk.

"Miss Macy Misa, I was thinking that it's about time we made this official. I would be very much honored if you'd allow me to consider myself your boyfriend."

Macy giggled over the formal offer and leaned over to wrap her arms around him. "I'm not sure if that's just the mystery meat speaking but I'd be most honored too."

"Excellent," Kevin said, giving his head a nod. He speared the last of his mystery meat and dunked it into his improved non-maroon sauce. "Wanna sit outside for the rest of our lunch break, girlfriend?"

"I would love to, boyfriend." Macy crumpled up her used napkins and tossed them other her tray before slinging her bag over her shoulder and standing up.

Kevin quickly emptied Macy's tray onto his, picking them both up and ignoring Macy's eye roll. Kevin grinned as Macy slid her hand into his free one and started towards the exit. Suddenly a familiar blond head caught his eye and Kevin veered to his right intent on thanking Adam for his cryptic message that had helped convince Kevin to do something he'd wanted to do anyway for the last month.

He barely noticed when Macy grabbed his half empty milk carton from his tray and began muttering darkly under her breath.

"Hey, Adam," Kevin called out brightly but just as Adam looked up Macy stepped forward and upended the rest of Kevin's chocolate milk over Adam's head.

"Oh." Kevin cringed as Adam spluttered and wiped chocolate milk out of his eyes.

"What the hell, Misa?!"

"I think you know!" Macy said and chucked the empty milk carton at Adam's head.

Kevin opened his mouth to say something but Macy started tugging him back towards the exit. Kevin would thank Adam later.

It wasn't until they hit the hall that Kevin suddenly chuckled quietly to himself. His cow had just given Adam some free milk of his own.

Wait a second...