Author's Note: My first (posted) fanfic, so please excuse my bad writing style. I'm sure I'll get better soon. =)
I came up with this idea while watching a very boring news interview...I don't even remember who it was about...lol. Anyway, I just started thinking about that news reporter from the old Ratchet and Clank games, Darla Gratch, the one who's always being eaten or attacked by something. Then I started imagining what an interview with some of the characters would be like for poor Darla, and this is what I came up with. (Written in dramatic style, like a play.)
By the way, if anyone has an idea for a question I could ask a character, please share with me in a review. I'll credit you in the story. =)
Disclaimer: I don't own Ratchet and Clank. The rights for every aspect of the game belong to Insomniac Games.
Interview of Chaos
Chapter 1: Welcome, Heroes!
(There is a dimly lit room with four gray chairs and a simple wooden table sitting alone in its center. Cameras, light stands, and microphones are scattered around the room. Incomprehensible chatter bounces off the walls as numerous alien species dash around, looking busy.)
(The lighting gets brighter, revealing a cliché brick fireplace background. The crowd of aliens falls silent.)
(Enter Darla Gratch, Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark from stage left. They each take their seats. A cameraman signals to indicate that the cameras are rolling.)
Darla: Hello, everyone! This is Darla Gratch of Channel 64 News reporting live from our studio. Today, we're bringing you coverage of our interview with some of Solana's favorite heroes. I'm sure they need no introductions, but-
Qwark: Of course I don't need introductions! Who wouldn't recognize my awesomeness? (Flexes arm muscles)
(Ratchet smacks his forehead; Clank sighs.)
Darla: ...Right, well, I've been given the honor to speak with Ratchet, Clank, and Captain Qwark. Say hello to everyone, guys!
(Ratchet and Clank both smile and wave.)
Qwark: (Jumps on top of chair and waves arms) HELLOOOOOOO!!!!
Darla: Alright, pretty soon our phone lines will be available. If you have any questions for these talented, young heroes, then please do not hesitate to call (000)-1NEWS64. Please limit your questions to three per call.
Ratchet: Yeah, we don't want Qwark's head to explode. (Looks thoughtful) ...Or do we?
Clank: Ratchet! We're on television! Mind your manners!
Ratchet: Oh come on, Clank! It's just a joke. Look, he's not even paying attention!
Qwark: (Looks backward) Hey, why didn't anyone ever tell me that green makes me look fat? Turn off the camera! I'm hideous!
(Qwark tackles the nearest cameraman, who falls to the floor with a surprised look. The camera crashes to the floor.)
Darla: My goodness!
Ratchet: (Stands up looking thrilled) Yes! Finally something interesting happens! 20 bolts on the cameraman!
Clank: (Sighs) This isn't worth 25 bolts a day...
Ratchet: Hey Clank! The cameraman has Qwark in a choke hold! HA HA! (Points at Qwark)
(Skrunch appears out of nowhere, looks at Ratchet, and jumps on his head. Ratchet runs around the room, screaming and cursing, while Skrunch nibbles on his ears.)
Clank: (Looking amused) Hehehe...Karma...
Hope you guys enjoyed it! Sorry that it's so short; I promise the next chapter will be longer.
Just as a reminder, if anyone wants to leave a question for me to use, please write the question in a review. Also be sure to add the character you want to ask. If I use it in the story, I'll credit you with your username, unless you leave a different name for me to use (like a nickname).