Author's Note: Well, it's been a while... I sincerely apologize for the wait. The last few months have been pretty hectic for me; I'm starting to prepare for college, which is still a year away... But from what I've heard, that year goes by fast! lol So, enough of my lame excuses; on to what you came here for! But first, the most important part of any fanfiction: the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I do not own Ratchet and Clank, Insomniac Games does. Also, I do not own Aero; this OC belongs to Itman496.
*waits* Ok, I haven't been sued yet...
Special thanks to everyone who left me questions: Itman496, Wandering Outlaw, Decimator, Fangs D. Snakeman, free the sky's Clouds, powerseeker35, a guy, Perfect Phantom, 62warewolves, and Wrenchy, a.k.a. Goodnight little everything. Also, thanks for your immense amount of patience; I didn't receive one complaint on the wait. So, to make it up to all of my faithful readers, I've made this fic extra long, ignoring the new "Three Questions Rule". Of course, by the next chapter, that rule will be in effect once more. Get ready for an extremely long chappie... O.O
Interview of Chaos
Chapter 12: Wherefore art thou, Ratchet?
[Everyone is sitting quietly in their seats, shuffling around a bit. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, an ancient looking robot enters the room.]
Clank: *jumps in surprise* Sigmund? What are you doing away from the Clock?
Sigmund: *taps his fingers, looking insecure and a bit confused* Well, some people convinced me to come here for some kind of "interview." *makes air quotations* I don't know exactly what that is... But I came anyway.
Clank: *listens intently, eyes half closed in worry* Who is watching after the Clock?
Sigmund: The Zoni are, silly. I trust them, kinda.
[Darla enters from right, startling Sigmund, who rushes to sit in Clank's chair. Clank shuffles over to make room, nearly falling off the chair. Cameras start rolling.]
Darla: Welcome back, viewers! We're back from our hiatus; thank you for your patience!
Ratchet: What happened, anyway?
Darla: Oh, we just had a few slackers who forgot to leave room on the schedule for our program. *shoots an angry glare at the director, who's standing nearby* 1
Director: *ducks and runs off*
Darla: *turns attention back to camera* Alright then, let's start answering questions; there's a lot of them! First up, we have a guest here to ask questions; one who is familiar to the set. Please welcome back Aero.
[Young human child enters from the right, taking an empty seat next to Darla. Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark wave a greeting. Azimuth acts indifferently, arms crossed, as he hasn't met Aero before. Lawrence also remains indifferent, but Nefarious flinches slightly, bracing for the appearance of Aphelion.]
Ratchet: *silently calls Aphelion, who appears next to Nefarious*
Nefarious: *slips off chair, immediately jumping to his feet, pointing threateningly at the ship* Damn you! Would you stop doing that?
Aphelion: *ignores Nefarious*
Aero: *faces Aphelion* Hm... Aphelion, if you could be a Lombax, what would you look like?
Aphelion: Well, I am not entirely certain of the answer, since I am clearly not a Lombax. However, I would hope my Lombax appearance would at least loosely resemble my current one. *sighs* I'm a little bit glad that I am not a Lombax, considering that Lombaxes are not very aerodynamic.
Aero: *turns to face Ratchet* Ratchet, if you could pick one weapon to have infinite ammo on, which would it be?
Ratchet: *grins* The RYNO. What else competes with that? If I had infinite ammo for that thing, you know how quickly I'd finish a job? *points invisible gun at Nefarious* BLAM! ...And he's dead. *smiles*
Nefarious: *crosses arms* Even with the RYNO, you'd still need a hell of a lot of skill to beat me!
Ratchet: *laughs* I think I've got more than enough. *grins* Just look at what happened last time. And the time before that.
Nefarious: *glares menacingly* Shut up, squishy...
Aero: *faces Clank* Would you like it if you got painted blue?
Clank: *shifts in seat* Well, I honestly do not care much for appearances. However, I have grown quite fond of my current appearance... So I guess that would mean no, I would prefer not to be painted blue.
Ratchet: I don't think Aphelion would agree with you.
Aphelion: Hmph... As if I had a choice.
Aero: *turns to Nefarious* How do you keep coming back from the dead?
Nefarious: *crosses arms* One such as I does not simply "die". When faced with a superior supervillian like me, death runs away in fear! *laughs*
Ratchet: Mhm, of course that's what happens. *snorts* It's more like death couldn't put up with you, so he sent you back!
Nefarious: *glares, clearly unamused*
Darla: Alright Aero, thank you for your questions.
[Stagehands escort Aero backstage.]
Darla: Okay, Wandering Outlaw is second!
Wandering Outlaw: Greetings robots, Lombaxes, and whatever Qwark is. I have a few questions that you could answer. Ratchet, how do you stay on the grind rails so easy?
Ratchet: *crosses arms, looking arrogant* I've just got a lot of skill. And I've been practicing, too, so there's no chance of me falling off.
Qwark: *leans toward Clank, whispering* We should push him off next time.
Clank: *laughs, nodding*
Wandering Outlaw: Clank, I've seen you put things in that slot in your chest; just what is the limit that you can store?
Clank: Hmm... I am not sure of the exact limit, for I have never reached that limit. *pauses to think* In fact, I have never been informed of any existing limits on my capabilities.
Ratchet: *shrugs* I guess we'll find out later if you have a limit. Hopefully, we won't be stuck in a dangerous situation when we do.
Nefarious: *rubs hands together, grinning*
Wandering Outlaw: Alister, since the clock can open small time rifts, is there anything you would like to fix or get rid of?
Azimuth: *gives Ratchet a side glance* Well, it would be nice if I could fix that little comment you made earlier, Ratchet. I recall you calling me a "bastard", or something to that effect.
Ratchet: *flicks an ear uncomfortably* Uh, I think you have me confused with someone else...
Azimuth: *sarcasm* Right, that's it.
Wandering Outlaw: Qwark, what happened to Snowball?
Qwark: *smiles goofily* Oh, I kept him. He's my pet! He stays at my apartment, and I feed him, and I give him water, and I love him, and-
Ratchet: Wait, you kept that thing? And how did you convince the apartment owners to allow you to keep him there?
Qwark: *stares in awe before speaking* I'm Captain Qwark; who would have the audacity to tell me no?
[The room falls silent, broken by a cough from Ratchet.]
Darla: ...Thank you for your questions, Wandering Outlaw! The next caller goes by Decimator.
Decimator: 'Ello chaps, good to be 'ere. I got meself a few questions and comments and I hope you would be so kind as to answer 'em. Qwark, you imbecile, I'm a pyromaniac and I know as a fact that when I get matches, gasoline and/or plastic explosives for me birthday I don't go crazy with them.
Clank: I believe he used that as a figure of speech. I am certain he had no intention of offending anyone.
Qwark: *blinks* ...A figure of what?
Clank: *sighs* Just ignore him...
Decimator: Ratchet, dude, I'm a big fan 'o yer work; how you felt when you first got your hands on the R.Y.N.O is what I really wanna know.
Ratchet: *smiles* When I first got the RYNO, I felt like blowing shit up. Plain and simple.
Clank: I believe that question requires a more in-depth answer.
Ratchet: Hmm... Nah, I'm sure you know what I mean.
Decimator: Clank, if you could choose ta retire from the hero business with Ratchet, would you just kick it ol' school or stick to the movie biz?
Clank: *laughs* "Kicking it old school" is a thought, but I do rather enjoy my side career. I do not think I would ever have the heart to simply give up on acting. *smiles* It is my passion.
Decimator: Lawrence, if I gave ya a Rainbow Afronator (mind control and cranial damage weapon manufactured on Daxx Weapon Facility) who would ya use it on and why?
Lawrence: I am aware of what the Rainbow Afrolizer is, thank you. And am I really only limited to one victim...? Oh well... I suppose you could guess who I'd choose as my target of torture. *glances at Nefarious, who doesn't seem to be paying attention*
Decimator: Skrunch, how do ya feel 'bout having Qwark as a sidekick (seeing as you are obviously the smarter and more useful of the duo)?
Skrunch: *glances up curiously* Ah...?
Qwark: *launches himself out of his chair* Oh, I can translate for you! *sits on his knees, gazing expectantly at his primate companion*
Skrunch: Ah ah...
Qwark: *glances to the camera, grinning* He says, "I wasn't given much of a choice; the idiot keeps following me around!" *looks back at Clank* ...What was the question, again?
Clank: *smiles, holding back laughter* Oh, it was nothing, Qwark.
Darla: Alright, thank you for your questions, Decimator! Next up we have Fangs D. Snakeman.
Fangs D. Snakeman: To Alister, what was Tachyon's social status in your society on Fastoon? Was he cared for, kept close watch on, outcasted, or were you too busy to notice? If so, what would be your best guess?
Alister: From what I've heard, Tachyon was well cared for when he was young. We wanted to properly instill Lombaxian values in his young mind, in hopes of creating a well-mannered future citizen, who would disregard our differences. After he had grown, he acted as a normal citizen. When I met him, he seemed to be nothing more than a scientist who was eager to learn, up until the time he attacked us, that is. Of course, I'm sure there were some who distrusted him from the start, such as Kaden, but the majority of Lombaxes treated him as one of their species.
Fangs D. Snakeman: Alister, why did you guys take Tachyon in, other than, in the little guy's words, pity him? He was a Cragmite after all. Shouldn't it have been better to simply smash his egg?
Azimuth: Lombaxes do not believe in killing in cold blood; their victim must be a legitimate threat in order for a Lombax to attack him or her. What Tachyon's species did was in no way his fault; the son must not be punished for the crimes of his father, in other words. So, we decided to take our chances.
Fangs D. Snakeman: Ratchet, what will you do once you find the other Lombaxes? Would you stay and try to fit in, or you would continue to have wild adventures with Clank?
Ratchet: That's a tough question... Well, maybe I can have both; I can have "wild adventures" with Clank when our help is needed, and in between those times, I can try to become more familiar with my own species.
Fangs D. Snakeman: Nefarious, did your time with the Fongoids really help you at all, or did you continue to wallow in your defeat?
Nefarious: Oh, yes, my short walk through the serene wilderness certainly helped me change my life's ambition. *snorts* Of course not! Those stupid Fongoids must take me as an idiot!
Lawrence: I do believe their speculation is spot on, sir.
Fangs D. Snakeman: Lawrence, what did you do with the Fongoids? Did you just accompany Nefarious everywhere or did you also engage in your own activities there?
Lawrence: I mostly spent my time cleaning up a bit. Those Fongoids are disgusting creatures... They live in filth! Although, I did accompany the "doctor" on a small part of his spirit walk. Did you know he is allergic to certain types of pollen? Apparently, a part of his previously organic self stayed with him after his "modifications".
Nefarious: *sneezes* OH GREAT AND POWERFUL ZONI! LAWRENCE! I THINK THAT BLASTED PLANT IS FOLLOWING US!
Lawrence: *is playing with a small flower* Don't be ridiculous, sir. A plant cannot follow us. *flicks the flower behind Nefarious' chair*
Nefarious: *sneezes again*
Fangs D. Snakeman: Qwark, how did you get Snowball onto Nefarious' Space Station when we last saw you tied up when Nefarious used his asteroid launcher thing on Ratchet and Clank?
Qwark: Oh, yeah, there's an interesting story to that...
Ratchet: Oh great... story time. *covers ears*
Qwark: *speaks in a heroic tone* There I was, strapped to a meteorite, facing certain death. As I was launched into deep space, I took a deep breath and hoped for the best. After what seemed to be half-an-hour, me meteorite smashed into a passing space cruiser. It slowed me down immensely, changing my direction of travel at the same time-
Clank: *raises hand sheepishly* Excuse me, but was the driver of the space cruiser alright?
Qwark: Oh, him? Don't worry about him; he'll just plummet through space until be lands on something... *pauses* Or he can hit a space cruiser, like I did. *waves at Clank* Pssh, don't worry about it.
Clank: *blank stare*
Qwark: Anywho, I happened to be redirected towards a black hole, which warped me to the Agorian Battleplex. When I got there, I found Snowball near the entrance, who was enjoying a delicious snack of defeated adversaries. I attached a leash to him (in a rather ninja-like fashion, may I add), which happens to match my outfit, and stuffed him into someone's ship, where we flew towards Nefarious' Space Station to once again do battle with the crazed villain.
Ratchet: Uh, actually, I defeated him. You didn't do anything.
Qwark: *swings an arm over Ratchet's shoulder, pulling him closer* Well, buddy, better get used to being a sidekick.
Darla: *remains silent for a few seconds, in awe over Qwark's story* Hmm, I don't remember ever covering that story... *clears throat* Anyway, thank you for the questions, Fangs D. Snakeman. Next we have a few questions from free the sky's Clouds.
free the sky's Clouds: Question for Ratchet and Clank, do you have feelings for each other? I don't mean to be rude but I've seen the way you look at each other sometimes, just glances that portray your feelings. You don't have to answer if you're embarrassed. If this is not the case, then could Ratchet perhaps form a relationship with a fellow hero or a heroine, (depending on which way he swings of course) as then he wouldn't have to worry about protecting them from danger (they'd probably be fighting by his side in future adventures anyway).
Ratchet: ...Dude, we're just friends. *blank stare*
Clank: Ratchet, do not be so harsh. I believe this question calls for a mature answer. *pauses briefly* To answer your question honestly, yes, we have feelings for each other, but-
Ratchet: *sits up, screaming* Wait, WHAT? Dude, maybe you feel that way, but I definitely don't! Not to be mean, but you're a robot, and-
Clank: *glares* Ratchet, please allow me to finish speaking before you blurt out like that.
Ratchet: *goes silent, staring at Clank in confusion*
Clank: *pauses to ensure Ratchet is done speaking, then continues* ...As I was saying, yes, we do have feelings for each other. However, they are not the same type of feelings you are implying. We feel protective of each other, and sometimes we act upon it. We also enjoy one anothers' company. However, just because these statements are factual does not mean they are in any way romantic. It is possible to care deeply for someone without having a romantic attraction to them.
Ratchet: ...I have an urge to hug you now. *pauses* But only as a friend.
Clank: *laughs* Oh, and about the second half of your question, I do not think Ratchet would not worry about his significant other, despite whether they are a fellow hero or heroine or not. Ratchet always worries when the people he cares about are in danger, no matter how minor.
Ratchet: *crosses arms* There's no such thing as "minor danger". There's "Yes, I'm in danger" and then there's "No, I'm not in danger". *sticks out tongue*
free the sky's Clouds: Just for Ratchet now, do you know who you'd be with and why?
Ratchet: There's a lot of relationship questions today... *sighs, then shrugs* I don't know... I've just gone through flings before. Besides, I'd much rather be on the battlefield than play "The Bachelor".
Darla: *giggles* Thank you for your questions, free the sky's Clouds! Next up is powerseeker35.
powerseeker35: To Alister, first off, you're my second favorite character in the game. You rock. My question is, since you're a close friend of Kaden, do you consider him as a brother or so?
Azimuth: *bows head in modesty* Thank you for your praise. I cannot say I agree with you, but I won't elaborate; that would put us off-track. *straightens posture, looking directly at the nearest camera* To answer your questions, yes, I suppose I do see Kaden as a brother. We have always been dependent on the other; we've seen each other as idols. I've always wanted to be like Kaden, and he's always wanted to be like me... *averts his gaze quickly, eyes half closed in sadness*
Ratchet: *frowns in concern*
powerseeker35: To Ratchet, out of all your armors from your previous adventures, which is your favorite and why?
Ratchet: Well, I pretty much like any armor, as long as it keeps me alive, you know? *laughs and pauses* I know for sure that my DreadZone armor was my least favorite... I'm not allowed to say the words which describe how much I hate it. *pauses again* If you're asking which one was the most comfortable, I actually prefer a regular pilot suit over anything. It won't protect me very well, but at least I have freedom for my tail. But I think the coolest armors are those which have special effects to go with them, like the Wildfire Armor. *pauses* The Stalker Armor was kinda nice...
Qwark: *sinks in his chair a bit, eyes wide* ...Ratchet's a stalker?
powerseeker35: To everyone, what are your thoughts about this video? 2
[Everyone gathers around laptop to watch.]
[TIME SKIP!] 3
Ratchet: *closes laptop* ...What was I watching?
Clank: Hmm... It was certainly well made.
Nefarious: I hate it! *crosses arms* I don't act anything like that!
Lawrence: Indeed, sir. You are the antonym of "random".
Qwark & Skrunch: *dancing in the background*
Azimuth: *eye twitches*
Darla: *yawns* I hate working overtime... *feigns a smile* Thank you for your questions, powerseeker35! Next we have a person who prefers to be called "a guy".
a guy: To all, what is your favourite ship? (Not including Aphelion cause she's a character).
Ratchet: My favorite ship is one that works. *pauses, then laughs* No, I love most ships, but my favorite is the one I was building when I first met Clank. *frowns* It's too bad it didn't last very long...
Nefarious: *laughs mockingly, and speaks with sarcasm* Oh, you're so funny, Squishy! *turns toward camera* The only ships I like are ones which easily annihilate my enemies!
Clank: *glares at Nefarious briefly, then turns away* Aphelion is the only ship we have properly become acquainted with, but since you are not accepting her as an answer, I must agree with Ratchet. That ship was the start of our friendship; without it, we might never have become good friends.
Qwark: *jumps back into chair* I don't have a preference! Any ship with a dashing hero such as myself as the pilot surely beats all others!
Ratchet: *snorts* Skrunch is more dashing than you.
Azimuth: I prefer my current ship over all others. I do realize she is very similar to the Aphelion you are referring to, but I have honestly never truly connected with any other ship.
Lawrence: *looking bored* The only ship I like is a clean one. *pulls out feather duster and dusts Nefarious' chair*
Nefarious: *sneezes, then growls*
a guy: To all, how does the Plumber know so much?
Ratchet: Pssh, how am I supposed to know? Maybe plumbers are supposed to be geniuses or something.
Clank: I see the Plumber as a very philosophical creature. Philosophers are very observant and calculating; perhaps he is knowledgeable due to his experiences. Or maybe he questions his surroundings, rather than simply accepting everything as it is. What is there to answer if there is no question, after all? To better understand things, he could be creating his own questions.
Qwark: *utter confusion etched on face* ...Who's the Plumber?
a guy: Ratchet and Clank, what is your opinion on the theories of you two being together romantically? (I think it's sick).
Ratchet: *jumps out of chair, brows scrunched in anger* Another romance question? Okay, let me make this clear, I do not support that claim! At all! It's not true! *paces behind chairs*
Clank: *gazes worriedly at Ratchet* ...It is only a question, asked out of pure curiosity, Ratchet. Please clam down. *turns attention back to camera* As I said earlier, there is nothing romantic between us; we are simply friends. And as for my thoughts on the matter, I am indifferent. They are simply theories; conclusions people make based on their observations. They do not concern me; many theories made before have been proven false.
Darla: Thank you for the questions, a guy. With the exception of Ratchet, we all appreciate them. The next viewer with questions is Perfect Phantom.
Perfect Phantom: First, Qwark, have you ever heard of Peter Griffin from Family Guy? If not, watch the season four episode titled, 'Petarded'.
Qwark: No, I haven't heard of him... *pulls out laptop*
[TIME SKIP THE SECOND!]4
Qwark: *stares at laptop in awe, then points accusingly at the screen* You, sir, are an idiot! *closes laptop*
Lawrence: *looks at Nefarious* Perhaps you relate, sir.
Nefarious: *sniffs before answering, fighting off a sneeze* Yes, I can! For once, I agree with the imbecile.
[Ratchet giggles furiously.]
Perfect Phantom: Second, Sigmund, what was your first act as Senior Caretaker of the Great Clock after CiT?
Sigmund: My first act? Um, does dancing in happiness count?
Clank: I believe he means "act" as in job, Sigmund.
Sigmund: Oh... Well, I finished cleaning up the damage from that big, scary fight, with help from the Zoni. Then I watched that orientation video. And then I wandered around the Clock and fixed a few time rifts. *pauses thoughtfully* And then I danced happily some more. *smiles*
Perfect Phantom: Third, Clank, Aphelion, do you think a relationship would work between you two?
Aphelion: ...A romantic relationship? Definitely not! I'm not interested in sappy love troubles.
Clank: *looks crushed*
Aphelion: *notices, and nudges him gently with a wing* It has nothing to do with your personality, sweety.
Ratchet: Lemme guess; it's not you, it's me?
Aphelion: *points blaster at Ratchet half-heartedly* Watch it, buddy.
Perfect Phantom: And last, Ratchet and Clank, what is more important, finding the Lombaxes, or finding Orvus?
Clank: As much as I would like to search for Orvus, I believe our main priority to be finding the Lombaxes. After all, we were searching for them before we were alerted to the disappearance of my father.
Ratchet: *ears droop* I'm sorry I couldn't save him, Clank...
Clank: *eyes narrow sympathetically, and he puts a hand on Ratchet's arm* It is all right. I know you could not have done anything more than you tried.
Ratchet: *manages a small smile*
Nefarious: *snorts* Why must everything be sappy with you two? HONESTLY! *turns away in disgust, then sneezes*
Darla: Thank you for the questions, Perfect Phantom. And now, we have some questions from 62warewolves. *sighs and mumbles* I don't want to be here anymore...
62warewolves: Ratchet? Can you hold Qwark down while I make him ingest the 'smart milk'? I want to know how smart he could have been.
Ratchet: Um, I don't know what that is, but okay... *stands up and moves towards Qwark*
Qwark: *jumps onto the back of his chair, balancing precariously* N-no! Don't come any closer! I don't know what's happening, nor what's going to happen! *chair tilts slightly, but doesn't fall*
Ratchet: *stops, mouth agape, and points* Whoa, wait... How are you doing that? You're defying gravity... *takes a step forward*
Qwark: *jumps off chair, running* I'M LEAVING! *runs past cameramen and launches himself out the door, slamming it shut*
Ratchet: *stares in awe*
Clank: I believe Qwark's exact IQ is the Eighth Wonder of the Universe. *giggles*
62warewolves: Oh and could you give me a hand with this 'squishy' suit? I want to put it on Nefarious. *Evil grin*
Ratchet: *turns to face him*
Nefarious: I SAID NO!
Ratchet: *takes a step forward*
Nefarious: Back off, squishy! If you take so much as another step, I'll annihilate you and your tin can!
Ratchet: *hesitates, then raises a leg, attempting to take another step*
Nefarious: FINE! *stands up* I'm leaving! We've been here long enough already! Come, Lawrence, it's time we put a stop to this nonsense! *drags Lawrence towards the nearest door* Don't expect us to return!
Lawrence: *allows Nefarious to drag him along* Oh, how upsetting... Now how am I supposed to spend the evening?
[Door slams, leaving a silent (and stunned) audience. Faint sneezing can be heard behind the door, and a loud swear follows.]
Ratchet: *shrugs* Don't worry, I'll put this "squishy suit" to use. *grins*
62warewolves: Well I guess I should ask one more question, Clank; If your mother made those big robots (Ratchet and Clank 1) then how come you are a 'Version 7.66' when she shut down afterwards? And how can you have a father and a mother? 0_o
Clank: I am a Version 7.66 because I was the latest version to come off the conveyor belt. My design, as well as a few of my features, were based off of the bigger robots who preceded me. And I have both a mother and father because they both created me. My father, Orvus, created my soul; my spiritual self. My mother created my body; my physical self. So, in a way, they are considered my mother and father; I would not exist without either of them.
Darla: Thank you for the questions, 62warewolves. Next we have our final caller, Wrenchy. *mutters* Finally... 5
Wrenchy: Ratchet, have you longed to know how to write your name in the Lombax language? I know it's a sensitive topic, being that it's about your origins...
Ratchet: Nah, it's okay; feel free to ask whatever you want. I guess it'd be pretty cool, being able to write my name in my "native language". *air quotes* But, what'd be even better is being able to understand all of it.
Wrenchy: Ratchet, did Percival Tachyon's comments right before the final battle with him bother you? You know, about the Lombaxes leaving you behind intentionally, about them not giving you a name... etc.
Ratchet: Well, yeah... They bothered me a lot. In fact, I talked with Clank right after we defeated him about it. But he helped me ignore them. *shrugs* We've learned to never trust the villain.
Sigmund: *crosses arms* Well, duh. Villains are bad.
Azimuth: *sarcastically* What an astute observation.
Wrenchy: Ratchet and Clank, have you seen all the pictures and fanfics with the two of you together romantically?
Ratchet: *ear twitches* ...Again? I swear, today must be national "Torture the Heroes Day". *rolls eyes an slumps in his chair*
Clank: *shifts uncomfortably* I saw one picture, once. *pauses, shivering* I never want access to the internet again after that...
Ratchet: *widens eyes* Wait, you SAW a picture of us...? *sticks out tongue* Yuck... Don't go into detail, pal...
Clank: I was not planning to.
Sigmund: *dramatic tone, hands clasped together to match* For never was a story of more woe than this of Clank and his Ratchet.6
Ratchet: *eye twitches* ...I think I need to leave.
[Ratchet stands and leaves, quickly followed by Clank, who glances apologetically at Darla as he passes her.]
Clank: I am sorry, ma'am. I am sure he will be more... mentally stable in time for the next episode.
Darla: *looks ecstatic* No, no, take your time! We certainly don't want our guests traumatized. *stands up and looks at the remaining guests* See ya next time! *whispers* Get out! *leaves in a hurry*
Sigmund: *looks confused* Was it something I said?
Azimuth: *stands up slowly, then heads for the nearest door* Of course not.
Sigmund:*looks relieved* That's good. Well, see you all next time! *waves happily*
1: Yes, that "director" is me...
2: If anyone is interested in watching the video powerseeker35 mentioned, the link is a YouTube link. Just search "ratchet's cwazy cinema ratchet and clank parody". It should be the first video. (I'd post the link, but you probably won't be able to see it. And I hate writing (dot) in everywhere... it's annoying.)
3: No time rifts were created during the writing of this fic.
4: Really, there are no time rifts. Relax.
5: Wrenchy is also known as Goodnight little everything on ffnet. Also, she is my good friend and beta-reader for this chapter; and she also helped me with a few tough questions. Extra special thanks to her! =D
6: Extra credit to whoever can correctly guess where this modified quote originates. Hint: The title comes from the same place. (Wrenchy, you can't guess cause you already know. =P)
...This chapter's word count is 4,625; not including the AN's. O.O Kudos to everyone who managed to read through it. *claps* And also, I hope the new format I used wasn't confusing... It was far less confusing for me to write.
So, it seems that Neffy and Lawrence won't be returning... At least not for a while. I'll let them have their break. =) So, don't leave questions for either of them, as they won't be featured in the next chapter. I plan to bring them back later on, though, so don't worry. ;)
Next chapter, I hope to introduce a new character. See? I have a reason for Nefarious' and Lawrence's departure. =)
Now please, review! I promise to update this as soon as I receive a decent amount of them. And remember, for the next chapter as well as those after it, I'm enforcing my new rule. Only leave three questions. If you can't decide between four questions, randomly pick one to save for the next chapter. There will be no exceptions. *waits patiently for reviews* :3
P.S.: My friend I mentioned earlier, Goodnight little everything, and I have started a collab account, called Qwark Confusion TM. We're planning many different fics, which we write through role plays. Our first project is one similar to Interview of Chaos, in that it is an interview fic. However, there are significant differences between the two, so it definitely won't be a re-write! I have a link to our account in my profile. We would really appreciate some reviews/questions! =D