I have become addicted.
As a younger man, I had dreamt of the day that I would possess her. Writing the words here brings another chuckling roll to my shoulders; I could never truly possess her! I could posses no force of nature as untamed and ferocious as she who is now my wife.
No, I am her bound love, her shared heart, her witness, her protector, savior, victim. With her, I am never alone, even when miles lead us apart or circumstances necessitate an absence. She is with me.
I remember the day I first kissed her lips, warm and silken. I remember the day I first kissed her lips fiercely; warm, silken, hungry and responsive as was I. I remember my body awakening to her touch, the thrill of our union and the satisfaction of lying in her arms.
But the first day I kissed her and heard her as I kissed her; that day, that hour, that moment was the day of my truest birth and the moment of my addiction.
The depths of my love for her knew no bounds. My silent heart awakened to her rhythms, throbbing in my ears. My love was an endless shelter, safe and secure. But the vision that accompanied her voice as she kissed me transformed the shelter into a palace of delight and need. I felt my love; I felt her love; I felt our love magnified and resounding, and knew I must have more.
She bends to kiss our sleeping daughter, and her hair slides up her back to tumble over her shoulder. She is perfection, she is beauty! I rest here, bare and vulnerable to her. She's noticed me now, staring in wonder at her sensuousness, and smiling, lifts her shield…
I am flooded with visions of myself as a angel of love, beautiful and desired. Her thoughts fill me: Edward, you are magnificent naked and I want you. I can feel the warmth spreading through her hips, my hips she leans to kiss me her breast is bare and I am reverberated back to myself until the desire is too much I cannot breathe…oh!
Oh Bella, must I wait for another embrace?