Okay, here is the first chapter of Second Chances. A lot of you have been asking for it for several weeks, and here it is. We have worked really hard on this first chapter, and have spent hours on the phone and on Yahoo IM going over every detail.
We would like to thank a fellow FanFictioner and real life friend of ours for being our beta.
Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight…
Our relationship started like something out of a fantasy. We were madly in love and wanted to spend eternity together. I closed my eyes for a moment and remembered that at one time, there had been an unexplainable chemistry between us. Mine and Bella's electricity could light up a dark room.
Both fresh out of college, we met at the editing company where I went to work. She was a young aspiring author, and I would become her editor. I found her to be fascinating, smart and incredibly sexy. After working together on a daily basis for over a month, I finally decided to ask her out.
At first, I hadn't really planned on it being a date, but I knew I wanted to spend more time with her. Going home to an empty apartment and jerking off to my visions of her beautiful body, luscious lips, and gorgeous face was no longer enough. We hit it off so well and truly enjoyed being together; finding we really had a lot in common. We continued dating and took our time getting to know one another. Each date ended in a fabulous make out session; since neither one of us could keep our hands to ourselves.
Eventually, one thing lead to another and the fireworks flew. I swear to God her body was made for mine. I never knew sex could be so fantastic. Somehow she anticipated my every need and desire. Since most women usually threw themselves at me, sex was never a challenge. Bella on the other hand made me work for it. I had to wait for the sex until I was on the verge of explosion, but she was worth every minute of the wait. If I'm being honest, I loved the chase. She could get me hard just walking into the room, but sex wasn't the only great thing between us. She was the most amazing woman in and out of the bed. Bella and I complimented each other; bringing out nothing but the best.
We dated for about six months and decided to make it forever. We had just purchased our house and invited our family and close friends over for what they thought was a black tie house warming party coupled with a formal dinner.
We sent out detailed invitations instructing everyone to dress appropriately and to arrive promptly at 8:00 pm for the dinner and surprise entertainment. Talk of the "surprise" overtook the elaborate candle lit dinner; creating a buzz in the atmosphere. By the time our guests had finished with dinner, they were completely consumed with anticipation.
Finally, Bella and I stood at the head of the long dining room table and made the announcement to the frenzied group. They waited with baited breath as we explained that we had actually invited them over to witness us declare our undying love and devotion. And, that we would be honored if they would gather together in the backyard to attend our intimate candle lit wedding.
The crowd gasped in chorus and all but ran to take their seats surrounding the pool. Overjoyed with excitement, they never even noticed that Bella and I had disappeared to go change into our wedding attire.
Alice, Bella's best friend, and her husband Jasper were in on the plan. As soon as dinner had begun; they went to work in the backyard creating the most romantic wedding backdrop you have ever seen.
Continuing with the candle light theme, they littered the pool, the waterfall, the deck, and every other possible space in between with what seemed like a million lit candles of varying sizes. This magnificent sight brought tears to my eyes as I waited for my Bella to join me before the altar.
With only the light of the moon and the flickering candles, we said our vows and were graciously welcomed as husband and wife by the delighted crowd.
Following the ceremony, Bella and I mingled separately never removing our eyes from each other; both imagining our first night together as a married couple. Alice is one sharp cookie and noticed our eagerness to be alone. Our ever present chemistry and love we felt for one another consumed us both that night; making it impossible to focus on anything but each other, even if it was from across the room. As soon as it was appropriate, Alice started ushering people out the front door saying, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."
Eventually, people caught on and started leaving at their own accord.
As we said our 'goodbyes' to the last of our guests, I shut the door trapping Bella against it firmly; smothering her with long deep kisses letting her know how much I loved her. My hips were drawn to her and I brought our bodies together. My arms instinctively wrapped themselves securely around her waist, "God, I have been waiting all night to do this to you. You don't know how hard it has been to have to share you." I closed my eyes and tilted my forehead to hers.
"I know, God I know. All I can think about is having you in me," she breathed out between kisses, letting her sweet breath hit my face.
I scooped her up and carried her bridal style into our bedroom. Her breath hitched at the sudden movement, and she clung tightly never breaking our kiss. Bella's hands curled around my neck and grabbed hold of my hair as we made our way back to our room.
I gently placed her on her feet at the foot of our bed and slowly slid her silky form fitted gown down along the curves of her breathtaking body. "I will never get used to your beauty. You amaze me," I said as her hands feverishly removed me from the confines of my shirt. I smiled at her urgency. Her clothes, along with my shirt, eventually floated to the floor and pooled at our intertwined feet.
Seeing her stand there wearing nothing but the ring I had given her earlier in the evening, made my heart melt. I kissed her and covered her entire body in delicate loving touches. The sounds of our breathing and lustful murmurs filled the otherwise quiet room.
I released her from my hold and dropped to my knees; "Sit down baby," I instructed as I gently guided her back onto the bed. I gently spread her striking legs; exposing her glistening essence, so I could feast on her delicious juices and take in her wonderful scent.
I palmed her lovely foot and softly rested it on top of my shoulder to make my work easier. We locked eyes, and I began placing delicate feather light kisses; starting from her ankle and working my way up. I groaned at the satisfying taste of her sweet skin, and added to her sensation by using my teeth to graze and bite my way up her inner thigh.
"Mmm Bella, I bet you taste so good." I knew exactly how she tasted; I just wanted her to know where I was headed. I wanted her to wallow in anticipation for me.
I traced my way along her outer folds; teasing her with my lips and tongue, causing her to writhe and groan in delight. "Edward, please, I want you to taste me." She was barely audible, and I smiled against her hairless lips. I loved it when she begged me like that. I could tell she wanted me and was ready to take me in her extremely wet pussy. Not wanting to give into her yearning just yet, I simply danced my tongue around her clit applying varying degrees of pressure.
Her head was thrashing from side to side, and she was begging me to find a rhythm.
"P-l-e-a-s-e," she said with each letter drawn out; yeaning for more. "Edward, eat me now. Make me come, baby," even though she said it in a breathless whisper, I could tell this was not a request, it was a demand.
Holy shit! God I love this woman, Bella had never said that before. Her words made me harden further, and I groaned against her sensitive flesh. I ran my tongue slowly from her entrance to her clit, "Mmm, I was right. You taste delicious." I glanced up in time to catch a smile stretching across her face because of my compliment.
"Edward," she pleaded.
"You are going to have to wait, sweetheart. I am not finished with you yet."
I could tell that if I continued to tease her clit she would lose it, and tonight I wanted us to come together. I continued up her body, stopping momentarily to plunge my tongue into her belly button; swirling it around a time or two. The sensation caused her to gasp for air and arch her back; lifting her torso up off the bed.
Using the tip of my nose on her soft skin, I traveled up toward her stunning breasts blowing cool bursts of air; ultimately causing goose bumps to form on her skin. My hands gracefully moved from her hips on up to the sides of her breasts, before taking her arms up over her head and pinning her hands to the bed.
Ravaging one of her hardened nipples with my mouth, I took one of my hands and tweaked the other between my fingers. "Ahhhh Edward. I love the way you touch me." Her voice was ragged and desperate, and I smiled; loving the way her body responded to me.
I felt the sudden urge to tell her how I loved her, "I love your body; your curves, your smell, the way you taste, and the way you sound when I am pleasuring you. I need to feel every part of your outside, before I feel the inside."
Bella moaned and pleaded breathlessly for me to get to the point; craving her release. I wasn't sure how much longer I could go without being inside of her. I furthered my journey, licking my way along her collar bone and on up her eloquent neck.
Following her jaw line, I nibbled and kissed until I landed at her ear lobe. Taking it into my mouth, I grazed it with my teeth and bit down slightly. The pain mixed with the pleasure sent a shivered moan sailing through her luscious lips. Her sounds shot straight to my cock. I was more than ready to submerge myself in her.
I teased her further by trailing my hand down her lovely body and slid a finger into her pussy. My unexpected action, combined with the sudden attack of my mouth on hers left her teetering on the edge. "Yes Edward! I want to come for you. Please let me."
That's right baby, it's for me, always for me. I broke our passionate kiss and leaned my forehead to hers. "Are you ready baby?" I asked my perfect angel; while looking deeply into her eyes. The strained sound of my voice didn't surprise me. It was taking everything I had to take keep from ravaging her.
She nodded, begging me for more with her lust filled eyes. Her hands instantly moved to remove my pants; pushing them down my legs with her feet while grinding her hips into my rock hard erection.
I whispered in a voice full of seduction, "Do you want me to fuck you hard or soft tonight, my love?" Her sexy eyes said one thing and her innocent smile said another. God she was beautiful, laying there wanting nothing but for me to fulfill her every need.
"I don't care; I just need you inside me. And I need you now!" My feelings exactly. My need to bury myself in her became too much for me to handle, so I set myself into motion. I lightly ran circles around her clit with the tip of my cock and added a little more pressure with each pass. She groaned and begged as I followed the wet trail down to her awaiting entrance. She grabbed my ass with her heels and vigorously pulled me toward her, as I forcefully penetrated her. She clenched her walls around me, and it sent chills all the way down to my toes. I had to close my eyes tightly to keep from coming right then.
"God, I love the way you feel inside me. I want you to fuck me, and don't stop until we can come together," Her voice was demanding and sultry. Fuck, I loved it when she talked like that.
I knew I would have to move slowly or her firm grip on my erection would force me to come sooner than I planned. "God sweetheart you are so tight." I whispered as I kissed and nipped along her neck. When she finally adjusted to my size, I steadily thrust using her "G" spot as my target. I felt my impending orgasm start to creep up on me, so I used my thumb to focus on the bundle of nerves between us. Bella responded with an insistent moan. She was on the verge, just like I was, and I bent down taking one of her lively nipples into my mouth. I bit down; while swirling my tongue around the tip.
"God, yes! Ahhh…harder baby. Fuck me harder, Edward," she said, with a strained and breathless whisper. I did as I was told; slamming into her with force.
Whenever the position allowed, I insisted on watching her lose control. To watch her lovely face as she hit her peak was a reward in itself.
There was something about her face when she came, and the fact that I had been the one to cause the gorgeous spasm, that nearly turned me inside out. My need for release was building, and my thrusts got harder; as I desperately tried to get her to go first.
"Oh God, baby!" I groaned, as I felt her start to clench, "That's it Bella. Come hard for me baby." Seeing her writhe beneath me and feeling her walls tighten around me harder than ever, launched my own climax.
We called each other's names in unison as we both enjoyed the moment. We lay there together exhausted, sweaty, and breathless, contemplating the absence we knew we would feel once we were no longer connected. Her fingers combed through my dampened hair as I kissed the salty moisture on her forehead and then licked her bottom lip; igniting an affectionate kiss.
As she pulled away, her eyes closed and a familiar smile filled her face. I rolled over, grazing her shoulder with my lips, "I love you, Mrs. Cullen." I loved the sound of her new name rolling off my tongue. Swan would still be her Pen Name, but legally, she was a Cullen.
She looked up at me; smiling through her sleepy eyes, "You are the love of my life. You are everything I never knew I always wanted, and now I have you forever."
Her endearing words took my breath away. I knew that her skills as a writer had allowed her to come up with something greater than anything I could have ever come up with on my own. "Ditto," Was the only thing I could say. We laid there kissing softly for several minutes before sleep finally over took us both.
It had been a little over four years since that day and now here I was, sitting at a local coffee shop; waiting on her as usual. Saying this was going to be a great day would have been a lie. In the grand scheme of things, the last year of our marriage had not played out the way I intended. If someone had told me that within five years, we would be going down this road, I wouldn't have believed them.
In the beginning, Bella and I were so in love; happier than either one of us had ever been before. We could not wait to get married and live our happily ever after. That beautiful thought was apparently not in the cards for us. I can't exactly pin point when things started going bad, and damn it to hell, if it did not take me totally by surprise. It was literally so gradual, that neither of us noticed that we were falling out of love, until it was too late.
Today was the day I would be free from her, from us, and free from the confines of the unrecognizable thing that our marriage had become. I knew that a sense of relief was about to wash over me, and it gave me unwelcomed butterflies. An unimaginable amount of pressure would be lifted from my shoulders today. I would be free to move on with my life.
God help the bastard who gets her next.
The thought of her being with someone else didn't even seem to bother me; like it once did. I was officially over it; over her.
Bella and I had become vindictive and spiteful toward each other; saying anything we could to cut the other one as deeply as possible. We were each other's own personal punching bag, and neither of us seemed to feel the slightest bit of remorse for intentionally saying hateful things.
At this point in her career, Bella was a bestselling author. At first I felt nothing but pride for her; for both of us really. Now, all I felt was contempt for her and her fucking career. She didn't care about anything but her writing. She lost herself in it completely, leaving me alone without the Bella I once loved and adored.
As the path of an author goes, she started to go on more and more book tours; which meant that she spent less and less time at home. I began to resent the fact that I was her editor. In my eyes, I was the one enabling her absence; helping to tear us further apart.
As the old saying goes….absence makes the heart grow fonder, yeah, not so much in our case. The more she was gone, the less she even seemed to notice me as her husband. We would send short texts here and there, and we would have short phone conversations while she was on the road; but nothing meaningful. The conversations consisted of nothing but work related issues. Eventually, we even stopped saying "I love you" when we would end our phone calls.
We had totally given up even attempting to make love. Neither of us seemed one bit interested in each other. We hadn't done 'it' in over a year. Sex is an unappealing concept when you don't even like your significant other.
As I strolled down the preverbal memory lane from hell, I couldn't help but let the memory of our last heated argument seep into my thoughts. It was one of our nastier fights; causing me to believe that we should just sever all ties.
While out on her latest cross country book tour, we argued over the phone and agreed that a divorce was the only thing that would help us both regain some semblance of happiness. As the discussion escalated, we both admitted that we were no longer in love. With the conversation becoming more and more vicious, we ended up hanging up on each other; leaving no hope for reconciliation.
We decided that life was just too short to be this miserable. I never thought it would come to this, and it saddened me significantly to know that I had somehow failed her.
The night I knew she would be returning from her tour, I waited in the kitchen for her to get home; so I could tell her I was done with all the bullshit. I was really just tired of trying and getting nowhere with her. She was not going to change, and I knew it.
She walked in and leaned up against the counter in front of me with her arms folded condescendingly across her chest. I could tell by her body language that her stance was a defense mechanism and knew that this was not going to go well.
Can't say I'm surprised.
"So, do you have anything to say?" She asked with a hint of venom in her voice. She was attempting cool, but I knew better.
Did I have anything to say? Was she implying that this was my fault? Did she want me to apologize for something? Is she fucking kidding me?
I was instantly infuriated, but tried to control it. Just say what you have to say and get the hell out of here, I told myself.
"Yes, actually I do," I took a deep breath. "I got my own apartment while you were gone, and I have already moved out." The lack of surprise on her face didn't shock me. As I was saying the words, I reached in my pocket to grab my keys. I flipped through and found the one for the house. Opening the jaws of the circular metal ring, I quickly removed the house key and tossed it across the counter where she stood.
The satisfied smile that spread across her face only fueled my fury.
"You know? That was good thinking on your part," she laughed sadistically through her words. "Because, you have lost your goddamn mind if you think I am moving out of the house that was purchased with my money." She gestured to herself.
I shook my head begrudgingly. We were back to her throwing her money up in my face? We both made fantastic livings, but she made a little more than me. This fact was thrown up in my face on a regular basis now. Over the past year, the words "our money" no longer applied. It was either my money or her money. She had developed somewhat of a superiority complex, and that was just one more reason I resented her.
I felt my blood begin to boil. "You know what Bella? Without me editing your crap, "your" books would never make the best seller list; much less sell at all." I took a deep breath and aimed right for the jugular, "You couldn't make two sentences flow together if you threw them into a raging river. We made our money together. So, this whole your money my money bullshit, is a ridiculous argument." I didn't need to take another breath. The heartless words flowed like poetry from my mouth, "But, I guess I shouldn't hold that against you. After all, it is the only leg you have to stand on when trying to find something to use against me."
Neither of us was yelling yet, but that didn't mean that what we were saying didn't leave its mark.
Her voice was the first one to increase in volume, and I considered this a point for team Cullen.
Cullen: 1 Swan: zip
I watched as her fingers dug into the skin of her arms that were still folded across her chest, "It's the argument I use, because I know you can't stand it!" She didn't even take a breath before continuing. "I hate you for pressuring me to take some time off; to stop writing when you know it's the one thing I love."
"I never wanted you to quit writing! All I wanted was some sort of balance between our work and our personal relationship! You clearly can't seem to manage both. What the fuck happened to you?" I shook my head, when I realized that I was now yelling at her too. I didn't know what pissed me off more, the situation, or the fact that she knew precisely how to push every last one of my buttons.
"Happened to me?" She gestured to herself with a look of shock on her face. "What the fuck happened to you? I'm not the one who changed. You are! You became this needy overbearing asshole!" Her arms were flailing about, and she was pointing sternly at me every time she used the word 'you' when referring to me.
"If I have changed, it's only because you changed me by becoming a cold hearted bitch! You shut me out completely; ignoring me and focusing solely on your writing. You have become the most selfish and spiteful person I have ever met!" I was now yelling at the top of my lungs, and I could tell my face was red because of the heat radiating from it.
Cullen: 2 Swan: 1
DAMN! She is such a bitch!
She gasped because of my words, "Fuck you! You give me way too much credit. People change because they want to; not because they are forced! And, to be honest, I don't even care anymore. You don't affect me the way used to. I have grown absolutely bored with you Edward."
Ouch! That one stung. If she felt any remorse for that last sentence, she sure as hell didn't show it. I felt my teeth clench together, as I remembered how she used to melt when I gave her certain looks, and the way her skin would respond to the slightest of my touches. Wow, things have certainly changed.
We sat there for a moment glaring at each other, letting the sounds of our heavy breathing fill the room.
This was the same broken record; the fight that went nowhere. Winning the argument was the only thing we cared about, and it didn't matter what we did or said to gain the upper hand. Bella and I blamed each other for every little thing that had gone wrong in our relationship and did our best to point the finger at each other any chance we got. We were too damn proud to admit that we had both played equal parts in our demise.
I decided to go ahead and end this round of arguing before it got any worse. I broke the tense silence, "Look, the only reason I am even here tonight is to tell you that I got my own apartment, and I have moved out. As far as I'm concerned, we are done!" I turned to walk away and delivered my final jab, "You'll be hearing from my attorney."
Bella of course, had to have the last word. "No! I think you'll be hearing from mine!"
As I closed the large cedar door behind me, something heavy hit the wood from the inside. It was clear that whatever she threw, didn't survive the impact. I heard the sound of glass shattering as it hit the floor. I looked back at the door and stared at it for a moment; thinking about how disappointed I was to be in this situation. I thought we were better than this, but apparently not.
I closed my eyes when I felt a knot form in my throat. Part of me wanted to go to her and apologize for everything I said. Well, almost everything. The part about her being a horrible writer wasn't true, and I really did feel bad for that sorry ass comment. I was just so mad and once again hit below the belt.
I couldn't go back in there now and apologize. I'm sorry. I said silently. The 'I'm sorry' wasn't just for her and tonight. It was for everything. I got in my car and headed back to my empty apartment to wallow in my misery.
I didn't bother turning on any lights once I was home. I went straight to the freezer and grabbed the fresh bottle of vodka. I sat down on my new leather sofa and took a swig straight from the bottle. Sitting there; drowning my sorrows, I continued to think about her and all I was sorry for…..I'm sorry for everything, for not being enough, for whatever I did that made you bored with me. I'm sorry for telling you that you couldn't make two sentences flow together. You're a beautiful writer. You know you are. I'm sorry for not telling you that I loved you more; for not kissing you more, for not hugging you more.
My brain was fuzzy. I pressed my palms to my eyes trying to push it all away. I knew it wasn't all my fault, but I would take the blame if it would fix things.
In my blurred state, I grabbed my phone and let my thumb hover over her speed dial button. Reluctant to make the call, I changed my mind and decided I couldn't do it. It was too late. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. She was gone. We were gone.
That night I drank myself into a drunken stupor, trying to overcome my impending loss. I was mourning us, and the end to what we once were.
Coming back to reality, I felt a deep lingering sorrow. The memory of that day still pained me. We hadn't always been this way. Was I sure this was what I wanted?
Think about what you are about to do Edward.
I was getting ready to divorce the woman who at one time had loved me with such fire and passion, that no one else could ever be her equal.
Have we tried everything? Have we said everything we needed to say? Is divorce the only way out?
Yes, was the answer to all of those questions. There was no way to fix it. Even if it wasn't what I wanted, I knew it was what she wanted.
The vicious things we said to each other over the past year and our equally shared resentment made this a done deal. We had been verbally damaged by one another. We swam so far away from the shore without looking back, that we were drowning by the time either of us realized how deep the water was.
I had thought through all of this at least a thousand times. I searched for the solution, but came up empty handed each time. I deeply wished there was actually such a thing as a 'do over.' A chance to go back and change it would have been welcomed with open arms.
I had moved out two months ago, agreeing to leave her with all that was once ours. Truth be told, I didn't care. I just didn't want to fight anymore. Since separating, I had come to the sad conclusion that we were better off away from each other; away from the turmoil of it all.
What Bella didn't know was that I had been dating someone else for the last five weeks. It was nothing serious, but I found myself feeling numb and lonely; needing something to occupy my time.
I met Tanya at the gym one night after work. She came up to me and asked if I could help her with a weight machine; which of course I did. We started talking and hit if off. She laughed at my jokes, flirted, and smiled; seeming genuinely interested in me. It was the first time I felt desired in such a long time. It felt nice. I knew it wasn't the same as being with Bella. No one could make me feel the way she did, but Tanya was nice and she made me feel good for a change.
I needed to be with someone who wanted me for me; not someone who used me as a business associate. Though, I had made it very clear to her on several occasions that I wasn't looking for anything serious, Tanya didn't seem to care. I was really just in this little fling to try and fill a void. Was I in love with her? No. Was she a warm body to fill another need? Yes.
Part of me wondered what she thought was going to happen once I was divorced. The other part of me didn't care. Tanya was well aware of the nasty divorce I was going through, she knew that there was no chance of another marriage for a while, if ever. Sometimes I felt guilty, like maybe I was just using her; but again she had been warned.
The fact that I had been living in my own apartment for the two months helped me justify this infidelity, so to speak. I knew it was over with Bella. I further justified my actions by the fact that we had already agreed on a divorce and the papers had already been filed.
We had agreed to meet at 10:00 am this morning at our local boutique coffee shop. It was decided on as neutral ground; leveling the playing field so to speak. She had asked me to meet at "our" house, but I didn't want to give her the home court advantage. I had suggested my apartment, but I guess she didn't want me to have the advantage either.
As the minutes passed while I waited for Bella, I grew more and more frustrated. This was so typical of her. The fact that Bella was late only proved that we were in fact making the right decision. She didn't even care enough about me to be on time to sign our fucking divorce papers; damn her. I sat there sipping my coffee and shaking my head, figures. I glanced down at my watch; noticing that it was already 10:30. I had been waiting for thirty minutes. Fuck, she doesn't care about anyone but herself.
I looked out the window; trying to see if I could get a glimpse of her passing car.
Nope! No Bella.
It was early May in Dallas. The weather gets pretty nasty in the spring time; complete with horrible thunder storms and countless tornado warnings. Today was a typical spring day, and a spontaneous thunderstorm shadowed over the city. The thick cloud cover made it dark and the sky almost had a green tint to it. I tried to look through the downpour that hit with such torrential force that it ricocheted back off of whatever it hit.
Finally, I spotted her standing across the street, holding a flimsy umbrella and making a pointless attempt to shield herself from the sideways blowing wind. She was getting drenched despite her efforts.
Even though I was on the verge of hating her, to say she wasn't beautiful would be a lie. She had a perfect body, long dark hair that most women would kill to have, and the most lovely milk chocolate eyes you have ever seen. Even windblown and soaking wet, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on. I actually shook my head when I realized that after everything we had been through, my body still reacted to the sight of her. I had to remind myself that her beauty, as far as I was concerned, was overshadowed by her newly developed callused attitude and selfishness.
I couldn't help but chuckle as I saw her lift one of her wet feet to examine her high heeled shoes. Yeah that's right, they're wet. Maybe if you cared about everyone else the way you care about yourself, you wouldn't be ruining a pair of shoes that probably cost you three hundred dollars.
She put her foot back down and glanced across the street to the coffee shop and seemed to spot me instantly. When we made eye contact, there was something different about her. She smiled the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Her eyes were sparkling and her face was filled with happiness. She appeared softer and more tender than she had in a long time.
What the hell is she thinking about, did she run over a small child or something?
I was instantly confused. Well, this is a mind fuck! Was she happy to see me or was she feeling and looking this way because she was relieved to be putting us behind her?
Is this really happening? Am I misinterpreting her expressions? At that moment, I didn't care. I couldn't help but smile. I gave her the most loving and affectionate grin I could. The sudden thought that we may be making a mistake crept into my mind. Do I still love her?
She pulled her eyes from mine and looked both ways to make sure there weren't any cars coming, as she prepared to make a run for it. I watched as she stepped out into the street right into a huge puddle of water; further ruining her high dollar shoes.
Her tight pencil skirt and heels made running more difficult than she had anticipated. I shook my head and sighed heavily as I watched her. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew through, nearly knocking her over. The powerful gust whistled through the crack in the door of the coffee shop and simultaneously turned her umbrella inside out. I stood briefly on gentlemanly instinct, thinking I should help her. For some reason, I felt the need to run out and protect her. In the end, my childish need to prove a point took precedence, and I decided against it; sitting back down in my chair.
She had to stop running half way through the intersection to try and get control of the situation. Meanwhile, one of her shoes had come off, and she hobbled back a few feet to pick it up. She was bent over grabbing her shoe, when I saw it out of the corner of my eye.
Does that driver see her? I furrowed my eyebrows trying to get a better look. Bella was standing directly in the car's path. I glanced between Bella and the car several times, trying to will it to stop. Look up Bella! Look up! My heart skipped several beats, and I stood quickly; spilling my coffee all over the floor. I winced when I realized she wasn't going to see it.
She was still standing in the middle of the street; losing the battle with her flimsy umbrella. I reached the door and pushed it open with excessive force. Now standing outside in the heavy rain, I hollered desperately, "Bella!" She looked up at me questioningly, completely oblivious to her surroundings.
It happened so fast; mere seconds. The car skid across the slick pavement and turned its wheels in an effort to avoid hitting her head on. Oh my God! I screamed her name one more time, "Bella!" My adrenaline kicked in, and my hands balled themselves into fists at my sides. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block out what was about to happen. No, no, no, no. Then I heard it, the skidding of tires working hard to gain traction when there wasn't any. I was too late.
The sound of crushing metal mixed with Bella's screaming, forced me to open my eyes. I was barely able to comprehend what I had just witnessed. I blinked several times trying to change the scene before me. I felt terror and pain as I let the mayhem sink in. Devastation crept through me, and I ran for the woman I loved.
Okay, everyone just relax. I know it's hard to read but trust me, it's going to get really good!!
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Most of you probably already know that this story has a blog. The link is on my main site. Feel free to check that out, teasers, pictures and music will be updated as often as possible.
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