Hi :) I got a bit bored without Adult Tony lol, and I couldn't be bothered with my other stories (I'm sorry, but I promise I'll get back on them soon). So since right now I'm obsessed with Scrubs, I thought - why not combine the two?

Plus, I wanted to see what would happen if Dr Cox and Gibbs met each other lol. You don't have had to have watched Scrubs to understand, I don't think, but it'll probably help :)

"Hey Boss?"

Gibbs sighed wearily, "What now, DiNozzo?"

"I think I see something." This made Gibbs sit up and pay attention. They had been staking out for at least 4 days, swapping shifts, eating cold Chinese food, getting annoyed with one another… Although that was mainly just Tony and McGee. Eventually they had just swapped so that it was Tony and Gibbs, and Ziva and McGee. They had been on the look out for someone who had raped and murdered 6 women of varying statures in the Navy, and had recently gotten intel that the man they were searching for more than likely lived just opposite where they were holed up.

Now, Tony had abandoned the comfy little nest he had made for himself with various rugs and blankets (It was the middle of winter, and they had no heating) and went over to the binoculars they had positioned by the window. He and Gibbs had both been watching the cameras they had placed outside, but he thought he saw someone just on the side of one of them.

Gazing through the binoculars, he moved them slightly, and spotted something he thought just might crack this case,

"Boss, I think you might wanna take a look at this…" Gibbs got up as well, cursing himself for being sat down for so long, having seized up. Looking through the binoculars as Tony moved out the way, he cursed as he saw a man in the distance, pulling a woman's arm and trying to pull her into the wooded park area next to them,

"I can't see properly, but I think she might be wearing a Navy uniform," Tony told him, "Do we get him?" Gibbs nodded and they both abandoned the cold flat they were in and pulled their guns out of their holsters.

Silently running out towards him, Gibbs gave Tony the sign to run deeper into the shadows, to go slightly in front of him. Just as they were getting closer, both Agents heard a sickening crunch and they looked at each other in horror, before sprinting over to the scene,

"NCIS, freeze!" Gibbs shouted, both he and Tony pulling their guns up and training them on the man who had the woman's neck in his grasp, her head weak and floppy. He grinned at them and dropped her body, in an apparent gesture of surrender. Tony went forward hesitantly - not trusting the man - his gun still pointed at him,

"Relax NCIS," He sneered, putting both hands in his pockets as if stood there casually, just talking to some old friends, "I'm cool - I've had my fun for tonight." He winked at them.

"Take your hands out of your pockets," Gibbs demanded, "And put your hands in the air!"

"Sure thing." The man grinned, and whipped his hands out of his pockets, bringing with them a gun,

"Put down the gun!" Tony yelled, while Gibbs wondered where their back up was. McGee and Ziva should have been warned when someone went in or out of the building they had been in (Some sort of mechanism McGee had set up). They should at least have been driving down the street by now.

"Put down the gun, or we will shoot!" Tony threatened, his eyes flickering towards Gibbs. The man grinned at them again, before casually pulling the trigger. Gibbs heard both his and Tony's guns go off at the same time, and saw the man fall to the ground, riddled with bullet holes. He breathed out before hearing a slight gasp and, turning, saw Tony fall down in a similar way to the murderer,

"Tony!" He cried out, and ran over. He crouched down next to his fallen agent and quickly put him in the recovery position, before ripping his jacket off and covering the younger man with it, who was shaking horrendously.

"H-hey B-b-b-Boss," He gasped out, trying to stop his teeth chattering, "D-did we g-get h-h-him?" Gibbs just nodded and pressed the jacket down on the wound in Tony's stomach, which was bleeding profusely,

"You're gonna be okay DiNozzo," He tried to reassure, "Just keep breathing for me."

"Will d-do Boss," He replied, trying to smile, "W-wouldn't want to s-s-stop; that wouldn't b-b-be very g-good…" Gibbs tried to make himself chuckle and he nodded,

"That's right, so you're not allowed to stop - got it?"

"Ah-huh…" Tony groaned, gritting his teeth to stop himself crying out in pain. Gibbs looked up when he heard the sounds of a car racing down the road. It pulled up just in front of them and he heard two sets of feet running up to them,

"Boss!" McGee exclaimed, drawing up, "What happened?"

Gibbs tried to answer calmly, "We saw the suspect trying to get himself another victim, so we came down. He pulled out a gun and shot DiNozzo, so we shot back."

"What happened to the victim?" McGee asked, vainly trying to not to look at Tony.

Gibbs shook his head and yelled, "What are you standing around for? Call an ambulance!!"

"I already did Gibbs," He heard Ziva say, "ETA is 4 minutes. But they said we're too far away from Bethesda, so they're taking him to the closest one."

"Which is?" He demanded, his eyes fiery with anger and fear,

"Sacred Heart." She replied.


"Newbie!" Dr Cox yelled, as he walked past the nurse's station to find JD stood there chatting with Carla. He felt rather than saw JD finish his conversation and hurry so that he was walking next to his mentor,

"What's up…"

"Pricilla if you say 'What's up Doc' I'm going to have to pummel you into the ground and use your organs for several of our transplant patients who have yet to be given their own. Now I know, it's probably so exciting to be walking along next to me - to actually be stood in my presence, but if that means you end up quoting from whatever cartoon you happened to be watching this morning, then I'm afraid you're going to have to walk at least 10 feet behind me whenever I call you." JD, well familiar with Dr Cox's rants, merely answered,

"What's…" Dammit, what can I say? I haven't actually said 'What's up Doc?' to anyone here yet, which is weird seeing as I'm surrounded by doctors all the time, so if I haven't done it yet, that means they probably haven't heard it that often so…

He was brought back to reality with a sharp whistle directly in his ear,

"So not got time for this Giselle!" Dr Cox yelled, "Now pay attention! Since we've been quiet all day today and Bobbo seems to enjoy my pain, he's decided to chum us together while we get stuck with a certain patient. I'm sure by this point you've probably gotten too excited to listen to me anymore, and are imaging us as some sort of crime-fighting duo with our own theme song and matching uniforms, so I'm just gonna go ahead and flick ya on the ear until you answer me, m'kay?"

With that he flicked JD (Hard) on the ear and watched in satisfaction when the younger doctor yelped in pain,

"It was a good theme as well," JD lamented, "And your cape said…"

"Don't care!" Dr Cox yelled, "Now listen up Selena, apparently we've got a patient coming in, gunshot to the abdomen and a Federal Agent to boot - so you should be able to guess what that means…"

"We're not allowed to leave him to treat other patients?" JD guessed, sighing. Their chief of medicine, Dr Bob Kelso, made sure that any patient who had leverage over the hospital should get extra special care. In his case, it would mean actually talking to them for once - as a rule he generally didn't go near the patients unless they could give the hospital money or put in a good word for them somewhere,

"Right on the mark Cassandra!" Dr Cox replied, smacking him on the back way too forcibly, "So we need to go out to the parking lot and greet him in the ambulance, otherwise he may complain to his Boss, who in turn will complain to our Boss, and… Oh dear Lord… You're actually happy I referred to something as being 'our'."

"No… no I'm not." JD tried to deny, hastily blinking his tears of joy out of the way. Dr Cox rolled his eyes as they made their way outside, just as the ambulance pulled up,

"Remember there, Newbie - nice. Otherwise he'll pull the whole 'I'm a Federal Agent which means I'm better than you and I will be treated better than anyone.'" JD nodded, not really agreeing with what his mentor was saying. He was sure not all Feds were that bad - when Dan was charged with impersonating a federal officer they had been very nice to him,

"Although he was only 7…" He mused out loud, causing him a clip round the ear.


Just as the doors opened, JD looked up to see someone inside the ambulance get exactly the same treatment as him,

"What was that for?" The man on the bed gasped,

"For not being more serious!" The man who hit him barked. He looked up as the paramedics started to wheel the bed out and caught sight of the two doctors. He looked unsure of the younger one who smiled too much, and much preferred the more serious looking one who looked completely aware of what was going on, and was already talking at a rapid rate with the paramedics. To Gibbs, the younger one looked rather lost, hurrying behind the bed and only observing, not being allowed to get involved.

He was immediately joined by Ziva and McGee, who had been speeding right behind the ambulance the whole time.

"How is he?" McGee asked,

"Well he's still talking," Gibbs said, trying to keep the chuckle out of his voice, "And he's beaten all the odds and stayed awake to annoy whatever doctors they've given him."

"You do not like his doctors?" Ziva asked.

Gibbs shrugged, "I just think they've given us one who's probably barely out of med school, and another who looks like he'll kill DiNozzo as soon as he opens his mouth."

"So he looks like you then," McGee mumbled, before he hastily flipped his phone open, seeing the look on Gibbs's face, "I'm gonna call Abby and Ducky…" He stuttered and wandered off.

"We called out more agents," Ziva told him, "And Ducky should already have the two bodies."

Gibbs nodded, "I should go and check DiNozzo in." He told her, and headed off to the hospital.

Getting inside, a man in a white lab coat walked up to him. Immediately, Gibbs could tell this man was extremely experienced in kissing asses,

"Bob Kelso, Chief of Medicine here at Sacred Heart," He introduced himself, shaking Gibbs's hand, "I hope your agent will be comfortable, and I assure you we'll do everything we can to…"

"Cut the crap and tell me where my agent is." Gibbs said wearily, just as the doctor who had firstly taken Tony inside walked past. He stopped and grinned widely,

"Well now how d'you like that Bobbo - someone who agrees with me that everything you say is worthless! Dr Cox," He said to Gibbs, sticking his hand out for it to be shaken, "I'm the doctor in charge of your agent. Have you signed him in yet? 'Cause we need his medical information."

"You have to watch his lungs," Gibbs blurted out, "He once had the plague." Dr Cox gave him the same look everyone did when he said that, and said,

"You wanna run that by me again?"

"Some nut-job sent an envelope full of Y-Pestis to the Navy Yard and Tony opened it. He was only given 15% chance of survival." Dr Cox was, for once, speechless. Dr Kelso even looked shocked, but soon walked away muttering,

"It had better be muffin day at the nurse's station…"

"Jethro!" Gibbs turned round to see Dr 'Ducky' Mallard and Abby walking towards them,

"Gibbs!" Abby yelled, flinging herself at him and hugging him tightly, "How is he?" A small cough alerted them that Dr Cox was still stood there. He had his arms crossed and his stance showed he didn't appreciate being ignored,

"Are you Tony's doctor?" The young Goth asked him, "'Cause you should know he doesn't do painkillers, and you have to be careful not to aggravate his lungs, 'cause he had the plague, and you have to make sure Dr Brad Pitt knows, 'cause he has all of Tony's notes, and you have to be careful 'cause Tony hates hospitals, so he'll try and escape, and…"

"Enough Abbs," Gibbs hushed her, and said, "Why don't you go check him in, and then they'll see his notes." She blushed and nodded, waving to Dr Cox, who was wondering what sort of freak show this was.

"Ah… Doctor, this is Dr Mallard, our ME." Dr Cox nodded and reluctantly shook the older man's hand. He pinched the bridge of his nose as two more Agents walked into the building.

"Okay, well this has been super fun, but I'm going to leave you in the slightly feminine hands of my lovely assistant Belle." He paused and seemed to be counting down, before they all heard a very enthusiastic voice come round the corner,

"Dr Cox! I pulled some strings and Turk's doing the surgery, and since we'll have to wait until he's out of there before we have to do any work, I thought we could maybe go and grab some…" The young doctor pulled up at the sight of the strangers clustered round the reception, "Erm… hi. I'm Dr Dorian; I'm Tony's doctor…"

"Clarice," Dr Cox said, his smile sarcastic, "Maybe you could escort these people to the family room while they wait."

"Oh… okay," He said, the smile gone for a second before it lit up again, in a bright 1000 watt beam, "Hey, maybe after we could…"

"No, Newbie," Dr Cox said as he walked off, "I re-hea-heally don't want to go for a coffee with you."

JD shrugged, before muttering, "It would have been nice…" He looked up at the expectant faces, "Oh… um - Tony seems stable for the time being, I had to wait with him since surgery's backed up a bit, but he was still lucid and he didn't pass out, which we're pleased about. We talked for a while before he went in; he mentioned someone called 'Gibbs' - is that one of you?"

"That's me," Gibbs said, "What did he want?" JD shrugged,

"He said something about you watching his six - does that make any sense? 'Cause he might be in shock, or have concussion - he said his doctor, 'Brad Pitt' should be informed…" Gibbs chuckled at the young doctor and said,

"Abby, come and explain DiNozzo's history to Dr Dorian." Abby looked delighted as she gazed at JD (Who was young and attractive),

"You can call me JD." He told her, sounding nervous but trying to be flirty at the same time,

"Why? Your initials?" She guessed. JD nodded,

"My name's John Dorian. So, does Tony really know Brad Pit?" Abby giggled and pulled him away, presumably to get coffee with him. Gibbs glanced at Ducky, who sighed and said,

"Surgery is usually this way." And sure enough, led them to a door that you could see through, and through there, there was a window into the surgery.

"Duck, you go see Dr… Cox. See if we can't have a complete overview of Tony's condition - that Dr Dorian seemed way too young to know anything about it." Ducky chuckled and nodded, walking away - his lab coat still on so no one asked him what he was doing in this part of the hospital,

"Can I help you?" A calm voice asked, causing Ziva, McGee and Gibbs to turn around and face it. The voice belonged to a nurse, who looked vaguely Spanish. Her pink scrubs looked ruffled, as if she'd been here a good few hours already,

"No thanks, we're good." Gibbs replied, turning his back so that he could see into surgery. Ziva tutted and she answered the nurse properly,

"My name is Office David, this is Special Agent McGee, and Special Agent Gibbs," She pointed them all out in turn, "We're trying to get an update on Special Agent DiNozzo, do you know?" The nurse smiled benignly,

"This is Bambi's patient isn't it?" She asked, "I'm Carla by the way. Dr Dorian should have gone through it all with you."

"Erm… he got a bit side-tracked by our lab tech," McGee told her, "She took him for coffee…"

"It's okay Carla, we're back," A cheerful voice sounded from the end of the ward. JD and Abby came back, and approached them, "Listen, you really shouldn't be here, there's a family room just down the hall, and…"

Gibbs turned to give him a glare, and he soon shut up. Carla, on the other hand, put her hands on her hips and said forcefully,

"There's no point standing here Special Agent Gibbs. Your agent will be in surgery for a good few hours more, and there's nothing you can do stood out here, is there? And if you glare at my Bambi one more time I will end you…"

"Okay, Carla thanks for that," JD stuttered, pulling her away, "But like she said Sir, you can't do anything. Go to the cafeteria or something."

"Yeah Gibbs, they've got nice coffee there!" Abby enthused, "And they had Caf-Pow machines as well!"

Eventually they managed to get Gibbs to leave, and slowly, all of them left the window, presumably all going towards the café.

JD breathed out and gave a sigh, "Why does his Boss have to care so much?" He moaned, rubbing at his temples. Carla snorted,

"His boss probably cares the right amount Bambi; you're just not used to that."

"Hey, Dr Cox referred to something as being 'ours' this morning!" He argued, before sighing and pressing his forehead against the window of the surgery, waving mournfully at his best friend, who was performing the surgery and was at this point removing the bullet that got lodged in the agent.

"If you distract my husband and get him fired JD, it will not be Dr Cox you will have to fear anymore…" Carla warned him. JD sighed again,

"Right now, Carla, it's not Dr Cox that I'm scared of."


"Jethro!" The man in question looked up after being deep in thought. He saw Ducky hurrying towards him,

"What is it Duck?" He asked,

"Anthony is out of surgery now, and that young Dr Dorian is sat with him. He said it's fine, and we can go and see him." Gibbs at once pushed the table back and stood up, leaving his coffee on the shiny surface.

McGee went to put his disposable cup in the bin, and found it was too full to put in,

"Don't they clean this place?" He muttered, bringing his cup with him. A mob handle whacked into his knees and stopped him going anywhere,

"I'm sorry," The man said, "Did you just say something?" McGee at once shook his head. The man was tall, taller than Tony, and was holding a mop threateningly in his hand. He was wearing a grey jumpsuit, and it was obvious he was the janitor,

"Because you know," He continued, "I don't like people saying I don't do my job properly. It makes me feel… What's the word?"

"Sad?" McGee offered, trying to inch away.

"Of that's right. Because I'm a janitor I can't think of the word 'sad'. What did you think I was going to say, 'mop'?"

"That's not what I…"

"No, no, go ahead - I'm mopping."

"Maybe I shouldn't bother…" McGee stuttered, as the man finally moved out of his way,

"Maybe you mopn't." He replied.

"Made a new friend McGee?" Ziva asked him, as he caught up with the others. He made an odd, strangled sound and stayed quiet. Both he, Abby and Ziva opted to stay outside Tony's room as Gibbs and Ducky went in.


"He's fine, he's stable and…" JD was cut off from explaining Tony's condition to Gibbs and Ducky as Dr Cox walked into the room. He grabbed the chart off the end of the bed and said,

"Newbie if you don't shut up in the next 5 seconds I'm gonna put a bullet in your abdomen myself." JD shut up and looked down as Dr Cox explained what was going on with Tony,

"The operation went smoothly, even with Ghandi doing it," He shot at JD, having a dig at his best friend, "And he is indeed stable, as Kiara just told you. We're slightly worried about some of his internal organs, as the bullet ripped through his small intestine. The surgeons repaired it, and we're pumping him with antibiotics to combat any infections that may be caused by that. Still, we want to keep him here for observation." Gibbs nodded and stared down at Tony. He looked so goddamn young

"Can I talk to you outside?" He asked Dr Cox, as the man was about to leave. He looked surprised but nodded, saying as he did,

"Louise - hold the fort." JD said enthusiastically,

"I'm your wingman..." He tailed off when Dr Cox glared at him and instead busied himself with settling more comfortably on his chair while Ducky started telling him stories.

"Why do you do that?" Gibbs asked, when they were out of earshot of everyone.

Dr Cox raised an eyebrow, "Do what?"

"Belittle that kid in there. Call him girl's names."

"I'm simply pointing out his girly flaws," Dr Cox pointed out, "I'm trying to make him into a man… or a woman… or something."

"He's not a bad doctor." Gibbs argued, thinking that, even when he was treating Tony, JD was friendly, and knew his name before they were given it when he was signed in,

"He cares too damn much." Dr Cox muttered, glancing back into the room that all the agents were now squashed into,

"And that's a bad thing?" Gibbs asked, "That kid in there, in the bed - he's my best agent. And he cares too much."

"And look what happened to him!" Dr Cox argued back. They both glared at each other in an attempt to scare the other and make him back down,

"Admit that you care for that kid. People like that can't do their best work unless they know they're appreciated." Gibbs said,

"Admit that you care for your kid. That if he died I don't think you'd have the guts to stand up to me. You're only doing this because you're frightened of losing him, so you wanna make sure I know how amazing it is to have a kid aspire to be like me. Well I got news for ya there 'Special Agent' - I know, and he knows I know. For some twisted reason he finds the girl's names some sort of bizarre affectionate gesture."

"Well for some reason my agent thinks that whenever I slap him on the back of the head it's some sort of bizarre affectionate gesture." Gibbs growled back. They both glared at each other, grinding their teeth,

"What's the point of this?" Dr Cox growled,

"To make you realise that it's important to value your team." Gibbs growled back, equally angry. He knew he was only saying this because he saw himself and Tony in Dr Cox and JD. He was terrified of losing the agent, yes. And now it was some sort of admission - yes he cared about Tony, and the only way he could say that to someone was by turning it around.

"Listen Gibbs, I don't have time to stand here and play 'Who hates humanity more'," Dr Cox snarled, "Unlike you I have a real job to do here, so why don't you let me do it." Gibbs glared at him, his worst one - one not even unleashed on his agents. But Dr Cox could glare too. It was this bizarre staring contest that greeted JD as he ran out of his patient's room,

"Dr Cox!"

"Newbie, if the next words out of your mouth aren't…"

"He's coding." Dr Cox abandoned Gibbs and ran into the room, pushing everyone aside as he reached the bedside. Abby ran out and clutched Gibbs desperately,

"He's not breathing Gibbs!" She cried, "I don't know what went wrong!" Gibbs shushed her and was soon surrounded by his agents as they gathered around him, not knowing what happened and having all been pushed out the room to make way for the nurses with their crash cart.

Gibbs watched both doctors working together to try and save Tony's life and he felt ashamed. What was the point of the argument he'd just had with Dr Cox? Why bother with insulting him about how he treats his colleagues, when he was working as hard as possible to help Tony?

His head snapped up when he heard JD breathe out and laugh happily,

"We've got a rhythm!" Gibbs heaved a sigh of relief, and hid a smile as Dr Cox grinned as well and, extremely quickly, ruffled the other doctor's hair. At once he snarled as he did so and immediately rushed out the room, trusting JD to help Tony.


Only a few hours after this Tony started to murmur and toss. A few minutes after that he woke up, opening his eyes and blinking,

"JD?" He asked groggily, seeing the young doctor sat with him, "Where is everyone?" JD grinned and answered,

"Gibbs just went to see Dr Cox about something, and everyone else is waiting outside. Tony nodded and leant back on his pillows.

"Do you want them to come in?" He asked. He was surprised when Tony shook his head and answered,

"But if you can find some cute little nurse to come and check on me, I'd be much obliged." JD grinned and said,

"I can get Carla to come in and check on you."

"Is she hot?" Tony asked,

"Hell yeah!" A shout came from the door. Both JD and Tony looked over to see a black surgeon stood there, looking confident and happy,

"Hey Turk," JD said happily, "Tony this is Turk; he did the surgery on you."

"Cool," Tony said, "Hey Turk. So er… this Carla..."

"Is all mine, man." Turk said to him, his eyes glittering. He turned his attention to JD, who said,

"Hey C-Bear, wazzup?" JD put his hand up and was given a high 5.

"Oh jeez Marie would you stop?" Dr Cox pleaded, walking in, "I know you and your black girlfriend don't want 'half-caste' children, but I keep telling you - acting black isn't good enough," He looked over at Tony, "So your Boss made me come in here and see how you were."

"Oh," Tony said, looking slightly taken back, "Okay. Where is he?" Dr Cox simply shrugged,

"We got the bullet out, no lasting damage and you seem fine after your little incident a few hours ago."

"What happened?" He asked eagerly, his smile could have rivalled JD's at that point, making Dr Cox groan. Hoping to dampen it a bit, he said,

"You died. For a while. We got you back. Gave all your little friends quite a turn." Tony's eyes widened,

"I died?" He repeated, before grinning widely, "Woah… This is like 'Ghost Town'… Maybe I'll start seeing dead people and all sorts…" Dr Cox groaned, before JD piped up,

"You like movies?" Tony nodded and grinned,

"Name any actress," Turk said, "JD can tell you which film she appeared in naked." Tony burst out laughing, stopping when it hurt his stomach too much, but hastily stepped up to the challenge.


This was how Gibbs found them a few minutes later. His glare silenced everyone in the room, but it softened and he said,

"How you feeling DiNozzo?" Tony nodded and waved as both Turk and JD left the room,

"I'm good." He replied.

Gibbs sat down and said, "I don't know how you do it. How do you go from being in danger of dying to sitting up in bed and laughing, just a few hours later?"

"I dunno Boss - defence mechanism?" Gibbs rolled his eyes and said,

"You're damn lucky DiNozzo. A few inches upwards and he'd have hit your heart."

Tony nodded and replied, "I know Boss… I know. Listen, sorry - for… y'know - getting shot."

"Sign of weakness," He reminded the agent, who grinned, before continuing, "Just so you know," He paused, not sure how to say it, "I would've been really unhappy if you had died." Tony spluttered and started laughing,

"Well I'm glad of that Boss," He chuckled, "How nice…" Gibbs rolled his eyes but both he and his agent knew that he'd meant every word.


Merely a week later, Tony was given the go-ahead to leave. Given shed boat loads of drugs, he limped slightly to the doors, waiting for Gibbs (He was being given a lift back to his place).

"Listen…" Gibbs began, looking at Dr Cox, "Thanks. For… everything. You saved his life." Dr Cox just shrugged,

"It's my job." With that, he stuck out his hand, and after a few seconds, Gibbs grasped it and shook it.

"Hope I don't you see you again." He growled, to which Dr Cox replied,

"Oh I couldn't agree with you more there." With that he watched the agent walk towards Tony, giving him a small slap to the back of the head when he said something uncalled for,

"Dr Cox?" He turned around to see JD stood there, looking uncertain,

"Come on Newbie…" He huffed, trying to look as though he hated it that he had this annoying kid hanging onto his every word and practically worshipping the ground he walked on.

JD grinned, "What's up Doc?"

"Dear God make it stop…"

The point of this? I have no idea. I don't know why I did it, I know it's probably the worst thing I've ever written, but I had fun, and that's the main thing… Right? Anyway, I had fun doing my first ever Cox-rant :D Please review? xxx

P.S The lines I've given the Janitor are, in my opinion, the funniest ones he's ever said ;)