AN: Hi, this is metalmiked48 again, starting a completely new story with a plot bunny that flopped into my head approximately 10 minutes ago. I know I've left all my Heartbreaker readers hanging for the past week or so and I apologize for that, but the reason is that I sorta don't know where to go with it besides a possible love triangle idea (those are always fun) but other than that I made the mistake of setting myself up to deliver with serious drama which I still know next to nothing of how to write. Anyway, I'll try to do something with that soon so until then, here's a really angsty fic from Naruto's first person view. I'm still trying to straighten out where this falls in the timeline, but I know this will be a very sarcastic, somewhat bitter view of Naruto under the mask that we see so often. Depending on how you read into Naruto's personality this could be way, waaaay OOC, but I'll try my best.
*beep* *beeeep*. Fuck. *click* Another day. I sat up in bed thinking of what to do today. Gotta go train if I wanna be Hokage. Of course. Hokage. What else. I got up and summoned a clone to go make some breakfast while I went to go tidy up. I got to the bathroom and looked in the mirror while I got ready to go brush my teeth. God you're an ugly motherfucker. Low self esteem, you must be thinking. Well, shit happens when the one girl that you'd worked endlessly for treated you like dirt for the longest time in favor of a dick with no redeeming social traits besides looks apparently. Of course not moving on since with her doing the same hasn't helped much either. Despite the fact that said dick has sworn to kill her, me, and everyone in the village.
Feeling decidedly fresher, I went to the prepared breakfast of ramen. I don't know why I'm addicted to the shit, but I am. Maybe I'll go to Ichiraku's for lunch. But I gotta pick up Sakura-Chan's present first. Ah, yes, Sakura-Chan's birthday. The one dependable day when she's in a good enough mood to give me a hug even without a present. Who knows what will happen when I show up with the sushi of one her favorite restaurants, which also happens to be one of the most expensive in Konoha. Wishful thinking indeed. I'd ask her on a date there, but I don't want to put her through the agony of the somewhat more apologetic turndowns she's implemented since I came back from training with Ero-Sennin which essentially consists of her floundering for some sort of lame excuse. That, and the fact that, and this brings a pit to the stomach, I'm not sure they'll serve me on account of "demonic issues." Guess I'll find out. Besides, this is the good stuff.
Not wanting to put forth the effort to teleport, I got my crap together, sage cloak and all (the one thing I've ever worn that made me feel like a badass), and took the rooftops direct to the training grounds. I sat down and meditated. All was calm. There it is. I felt the waves of natural energy flow to me, penetrate my being, and continue through, mixing my chakra on its way. I noticed the disturbance of air flow caused by the flutter of a butterfly approximately thirty meters away. I stood, noticing the different feeling in my eyes, and the new vibrancy pervading my vision. Being the Toad Sage kicks ass.
About two hours of practicing frog katas and my new senjutsu and I was still raring to go. I knew I needed to stop though. With a combination of the toad healing chakra and the kyuubi chakra, I could pretty much be hit by a boulder the size of Chouji's juggernaut and be ready to run a marathon 30 seconds later, but if I didn't keep it short and sweet my mind would turn off and I'd be a lumbering mass of ninjutsu stumbling through worthless training. I decided to turn in and run my main errand.
Ah, Konoha... I love this village. I can even walk down the street nowadays and only get three random death glares per block! There's Ichiraku! I have to wait though! I resisted temptation offering the "I will later" wave to Ayame Nee-chan who knew it was too early for me to be coming by for lunch. I think the place is up here a bit. Ah! Here it is! The place was huge. Already feeling nervous, I wandered inside. I went up to the hostess to ask to order some takeout. Oh shit... Thewoman visibly paled when I came up to her, but in an odd way she seemed more sorry for me than scared for herself. "I'm so sorry, Naruto-sama," she said as she reached for a little red button inside of her podium.
"It's not your fault you work for a bigot..." I half mumbled half whispered in response.
Almost immediately upon the button being pushed, a short, stubby old fart that looked to be three rice balls from a cardiac arrest came storming out of his lair in the back of the restaurant shouting, much to the shock of many of his customers, "Get out Demon! Get the hell outta my shop!!!"
"Please sir, I'm just picking something up for a friend. I'll pay double." I had to get something from this shop. This was Sakura's favorite. The same customers were again shocked at the astronomical price I was willing to pay with no hesitation.
"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY SHOP!!!!" There was no talking to this guy. If that vein on his forehead got any bigger it would burst. The pretty young hostess looked on the verge of tears, obviously in the generation that has no idea why this charming hero of the village is treated like less than dirt by some of its more conservative citizens.
"I'm sorry to disturb you," I said as I turned the other cheek, desperately trying to keep my bitterness from affecting my tone while stretching my proud mask across my face as quick as possible. My bitterness and sense of right and wrong, however, was greatly appeased, however, when a couple of groups that were still in the early stages of their meal were paying for their stuff and leaving. After hengeing my way through that little ordeal, I put it in my fridge back at my apartment and went back out to train some more.
Time to practice Dad's jutsu. I once again felt the sage chakra flowing through my body and I began doing katas at about four per second. I should really work on getting my speed up with those. Miroi Senka no Jutsu! *tsyu* There we go. *tsyu* Workin fine. What a convenient jutsu. I'm so lucky dad put down the basics for it. The only next step was to cut the metaphysical link to a medium like a kunai. Some kage bunshin training and viola: transportation senjutsu. Their faces when the image in front of them but an instant before suddenly has a kunai to their neck...priceless...
A couple hours of that and I was done yet again. Half hour till team practice. What to do. Ah! Of course! A genuine smile on my face, I began to mosey on over to my favorite restaurant in all of the world. "One miso, Jii-san!" I lit up as I went underneath the awning to be greeted with my two childhood caretakers and his daughter.
"Comin' right up."
"Oi Naruto! How you been?"
"Just fine Iruka-Sensei." I paused, considering how to keep the small talk with my former sensei interesting. "Had a bit of a run in with a sushi chef earlier but other than that I'm great."
I watched confusion, amusement, and finally half-joking concern pass his face. "You didn't do anything did you?"
"He almost got me with one o' those big ol' cleavers but a rasengan in his nutsack showed him who was boss." I said as I began slurping up my ramen with vigor.
"That's the hero of the village. This one's on me."
"Thanks a ton." I finished up my surprisingly human amount of ramen that I've tried to get used to having. "I wish I could stay and talk but I've gotta go train with Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei."
"I won't keep you. Give 'em hell, Naruto."
"See ya Iruka sensei." I got up and began my rooftop journey to good old, overly nostalgic training ground 7. There she is... And thus my mental composure was almost completely ruined. Luckily I've trained myself to the point where I can train against her while almost completely forgetting that I could maim her at any moment, but I can't help but hold back even the tiniest bit beyond the reasonable sparring point and it pisses her off to no end. But today... today she was absolutely glowing. That shining face... That shiny pink hair... Those eyes... That ass... The perkiest C-cups you ever did see... What I'd give to-- Down boy!! Now is definitely not the time to randomly pitch a tent!
"Hi Sakura-chan!" She was leaning lazily on the railing of the bridge on which we always reconnoiter, only making those legs look even better.
"Hey Naruto-kun," she responded with almost as much inthusiasm. Hearing the suffix was like feeling her very breath on the tip of my--
"Happy Birthday!" I said, trying my best to walk up nonchalantly.
"Thanks!" she said, as I got the contact from her I'd been waiting for all day. God she must really love it when it's her birthday. As they pressed up upon my lower chest, I tried to summon to mind any complicated science problems to at least cut the blood flow halfway. After three seconds I looked at her face to make sure she hadn't had a seizure and passed out or something. As much as I was enjoying this, she couldn't have been all that much... could she? God she's pretty... When I looked, my sight was greeted with, among other things, closed eyes and a content, almost joyful smile. Is...Is that...? Two seconds later her eyes snapped open as if remembering something and she quickly, yet still gently pulled away with a playfully shameful and demure smile on her face. The four extreme centers of my mind wanted to ask her on a date, ask if she was feeling okay, turn her around and mount her right there, or ask if she was huffing. My mind somehow finding reason I, as always, went with none.
"Umm... I... I don't have your present with me, but I promise to get it to you right after we're done here." I said, slowly regaining composure.
"Promise?" I put on my best shit-eating grin.
"That's the promise of a lifetime!" She giggled in as much of a school-girlish fashion as a deadly ninja can.
"Heh heh heh..." Oh shit. And right after I nailed it too. That was a man's voice so it wasn't Sakura, and I don't even know how to laugh that creepily so that only leaves--
"Kakashi-sensei... how long have you been there?" Sakura inquisitively chimed in, obviously hoping he hadn't witnessed our personal moment.
"Long enough to know how happy you are that it's your birthday," he said with that eye smile. Bastard. She quickly moved about five feet away, much to me and my hormones' dismay. "Sorry about C-blockin' you Naruto but I believe in you. You'll get some eventually." It was as if he had gathered up all of the redness that had been on her face, put it on mine and replaced it with confusion. SHE'S RIGHT THERE ASSHOLE!!!!! "Anyway... let's get to training."
After three hours of surprisingly not that awkward training, we decided it was time to end for the day. "We're gonna have morning practice tomorrow so be here at eight."
"Only if you do." I recalled the countless years of getting up at ungodly hours (as compared to my regular crack of noon anyway) only to wait endlessly for an uncommitted sensei.
"You know I can't promise that. What if an old lady needs help across a road? Dismissed." He disappeared in the signature swirl of leaves, leaving no chance for further arguments.
"Bye Naruto-kun," she said loftily, baiting me for the walk home and the present she obviously hasn't forgotten about. I obliged.
"Let me walk you home!" She turned as if in victory with that deceptively demure-over-cheer expression to let me walk alongside her. We were lucky enough all this time that my house was actually on the way to her house.
She looked as if she was happy to just be in my company. That couldn't be the case, could it? Laughing at all my dumb jokes, chuckling at the really dumb ones. It's almost as if... No, don't get your hopes up man... We came upon my apartment eventually. I told her to wait at the door and when she looked surprised, confused, and a little hurt, I quickly explained that I wanted it to be a surprise, it would only be a second, and my place was messy as all get out, knowing that if she kept that look up for another couple seconds I would crack. I quickly located the ornate box in my fridge and brought it down. I swung open the door and her eyes lit up like a little kid on... well... his birthday (wow... metaphor block...). I grinned from ear to ear.
"Oh my God Naruto! From Mizuryu! This must've cost a ton! I hope this didn't put you out of house and home..." My grin dispelled her worries. "Oh thank you Naruto-kun!!" She was hugging me again. E=mc... Oh god... I couldn't help it. I returned her hug and she melted into my arms. I thought she was gonna go to sleep or something. Fuck it; if she was gonna flounder, then she was gonna flounder.
"Sakura-chan, you wanna go have dinner with me tomorrow night?" I asked, and congratulated myself in my head soon after for saying it perfectly: not too aggressively, not too apathetically.
She looked up with a shimmer in her eyes. "I'd love to." ...YES!!!
"Awesome," I said, trying to keep some of the elation out of my voice. "I'll pick you up at seven!" The rest of the short walk to her house was filled with comfortable quiet.
"Right, I'll see you tomorrow morning Sakura-chan!"
"Bye, and thanks again, Naruto-kun!" Ahh. What a night. The one girl I've ever felt anything for is actually giving me a chance!
I walked back to my front door. Ah shit... I felt the slightest chakra pulse, the indication of an oncoming Anbu squad undershooting the detection range of a target shinobi. That target shinobi was me. Immediately I was flanked by three Anbu who surrounded me in a triangle with kunai ready to go toward my vitals at a given word. "What's the meaning of this!!!" I tried my best angry distinguished ninja voice and rightfully so.
Another Anbu with slightly more distinguished looking robes came up behind the one in front of me and held a scroll. "The Rokudaime Hokage has demanded your presence immediately. This is a warrant for your arrest."
"On what grounds!?"
"Endangerment of the citizens of Konoha." My anger at this point was being mixed with confusion.
"Based on what actions!?!"
The Anbu was getting peeved at my inability to follow an order. "All will be discussed when you are in the Hokage's office."
"eeh whatever..." I was speaking through my teeth. How dare they ruin this wonderful moment of mine!
We roof jumped to the Hokage's office, with two of the Anbu having kunai drawn at all times. We made it inside the office of Danzo, the sixth Hokage. "Ah, here he is." His sickeningly content smile twisted into a serious expression. "Namikaze Naruto, on account of your status of a jinchuuriki no longer being dangerous to you outside of the village and the danger to the citizens it poses while you are still here, you are hereby exiled from Konohagakure-no-Sato. You are forbidden to enter within one hundred meters of the walls and you must be gone by 3 A.M. this morning, never to return. Speak of this to no one. Clear?"
AN: Ah a good old fashioned cliffhanger. This is a product of fused plot bunnies and I think this turned out pretty well. Sakura seems OOC to me writing it so please dont rip me a new one because of that but anything else please help. This might end up being pretty epic. Romance, while it will be a large part of this, will take a second seat to the angst and adventure. Thanks for reading and please review and tell me what you think.