For those of you who have me on alert (and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it), you may decide not to read this one...I promise I won't be offended. I hope the kiddies are in bed because I have a racy one for you guys this time. I won't tell you how many times I blushed while writing this. It's a song fic to this awesome song called Sometime Around Midnight by Airborne Toxic Event. It is an M rating because apparently Future Freddie is a little more naughty...mr. Potty mouth, drunk pervert. LOL
This is a future fic. The gang is about 22-24 here, I would guess. Freddie made a horrible mistake in his relationship with Sam and he's been spending the last 3 months regretting it. Now at his friends bachelor party, he's forced to face her and the mistake he made. This is Freddie's POV. Italics are memories (in 3rd person) or Freddie's thoughts. Hope it's not too confusing.
And as for the Disclaimer: Yeah, the characters aren't mine, and if Dan Schnieder wrote them this way, he wouldn't be working for Nickelodeon anymore either. Maybe Showtime would have him.
I hate clubs. Let me rephrase that, I really hate clubs. The only reason I was there was because my traitor roommate Seth is getting married next week, and he promised Kate no strippers. Whatever. I hated the music, but the drinks were free, so L'Chayim!
It was sometime around midnight when I saw her. A hot redhead had pulled me aside, and I could hear the guys cheering behind me as we stepped onto the dance floor. My God! She had a hot body and was probably the best dancer I'd ever been with besides… I tried to shake the stray thought of her from my head and concentrate on the girl that was grinding against my hips at the moment. I was actually successful for a while and was really getting into it. I had my hand on her ass, and hers was running under my shirt and up my back. Maybe it was the 4 beers that I'd already had, but I felt completely reckless. I grabbed a handful of the fiery hair behind her head as I stole a hungry kiss. I was lost in this heat that I'd denied myself for the past three months as I felt her soft tongue run against mine. There were no thoughts there. Just her mouth against mine, and staggered breathing, and her hands pulling me into her, and the loud music pumping, pumping, pumping through my ears, making my heart beat faster, and the familiar feeling of ecstasy as she ran her fingers through my hair, and... then the music changed, my thoughts changing with it. This song would always remind me of her.
The song was playing loud when he walked in the door. She was wearing only his green shirt and tie, and those lace boxers that he bought her for his birthday. There was a fire in her blue eyes and a smirk spread across her pink lips as she pushed him into the chair. She straddled his legs quickly before he could react and was kissing him senseless as she deftly undid the buttons of the shirt he was wearing and took off his tie. She sat back and smiled as she took his hand off her hip and put it against the arm of the chair. He began to chuckle as he felt the silk fabric of the tie wrapping around his wrist, and binding him to the chair.
She grabbed the front of the shirt she was wearing and ripped it open, sending buttons flying everywhere. He was momentarily appalled at the destruction of his favorite shirt, but then he saw the porcelain skin exposed underneath. He reached out his unbound hand and cupped her breast. His body vibrated at the soft moan she let out as he ran his thumb across her small pink nipple. He grabbed her tie and pulled her to him; he needed to taste her. She shrugged off the torn shirt, as he rolled his tongue around the small bud of her breast and lightly nipped it with his teeth. Her breath hitched and she arched into him, running her nails through his hair. The scent of her body and the tickle of her blond curls against his face was sending him into a lust filled bliss, so he was slightly saddened when she pulled away.
She ran her fingers along the neck of her tie and pulled until she was free of it. She stepped away from his lap for a moment and then grabbed his hand. She gently sucked at each of his fingers, and then settled herself in his lap again, this time with her back toward him. He could feel the silk tighten against his wrist as she was binding his other hand to the chair, but he was too busy watching her in front of him. He studied the way her golden hair spilled delicately across her back. His eyes followed the curve of her hips down to her lace- covered bottom, which he could feel like a magnet across his groin. When his wrists were finally bound, she turned and delicately kissed him. He groaned with pleasure as she slithered off of his lap and onto the floor in front of him. He sat back and relished the feeling as she peppered his chest and stomach with kisses, and began to undo his belt…
It was all wrong! Wrong lips, wrong taste, wrong smell! "No!" I pushed her away; I couldn't do this. I stood looking at a pair of anonymous angry and confused green eyes. I offered a quick apology and walked back to the bar as quickly as I could. I drowned out James' yelling as I ordered another beer, and quickly took a drink. I needed to get rid of her foreign taste. What the hell was wrong with me? The guys were totally giving me hell, but it was nothing compared to what I was doing to myself. I couldn't listen anymore. I grabbed my beer and excused myself to the head. I rounded the bar, and that's when I saw them. Six girls in white dresses and her in the middle of them all. The colored lights bounced like little electric halos off of her blond hair, and I suddenly felt like I'd been punched in the gut.
Three months isn't a long time, but it felt like an eternity without her. She was even more beautiful than I remembered, and I stood there mesmerized by her. She was talking with her friends, her drink dangling delicately in her hands. She's definitely grown more graceful in the years that I've known her. She looked absolutely perfect; the way the neckline of her dress gracefully danced across her chest, lightly grazing across her perfect sweet breasts, the slit in her skirt that every so often revealed a bit of her creamy thighs, inviting me to take a nibble at them, like I know she loves. Carly saw me and gave me a little wave. Sam turned to see who she was waving to, and caught my eye. I stood there locked in her gaze, her smile faded. I knew the moment would come where I'd have to face her, but I figured it would be next week at the wedding, amid a load of chaos, and I wouldn't have to deal with it. Why here? Why now? Stephanie brushed her arm, and her eyes left mine as she was pulled back into their conversation.
Shit! Beer wasn't gonna cut it. I headed back to the bar and ordered a double shot of Jameson. I threw a ten on the bar and downed the rest of my beer while waiting for my shot. I knew I shouldn't mix drinks, and I'd probably have one hell of a hangover in the morning, but it couldn't be any worse than how I felt right then. I saw the bartender heading back with my drink, and I felt someone brush against me. I smelled her before I saw her. The intoxicating smell of plumeria and ginger let me know whe was there. She pushed her way in front of me and leaned over the bar to yell a drink order to the bartender. The slight contact from her skin against mine, and the smell of her perfume sent memories reeling through my head.
His nose was buried in the crook of her neck. The scent of her flooded his senses, and his fingers dug into the skin of her thigh, as he used his weight to pin her against the wall. He adored the feeling of being inside of her and the feral sounds she made as he drove in, out, in, out, in, out, slowly pushing her into madness. He could feel the sting of the scratches she'd left behind as she clawed at his skin, pulling him into her, begging for more…harder, deeper, in, out, in, out, the screams becoming louder and more primal. With one final scream of his name her body clenched around him and he drifted into madness with her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and her body draped over his. As they came back down to earth, they were melded together in a sweet bliss. He had never felt closer to another soul in his life, and he didn't want to break the connection. He placed a sweet kiss on her forehead and, without breaking contact, he wrapped her other leg around him, and carried her to his bed. He delicately placed her on the pillow. Her blond hair fanned lightly behind her, framing the bliss that was evident on her delicate face. He wanted to see her; to see all of her. She gave a little sigh of displeasure as he pulled away from her. He ran his fingers over her lightly as he stood back to take all of her in.
Her toes curled slightly as her muscles were still not completely relaxed from her recent climax. He gently massaged her foot then pulled to his mouth. He suckled each of her little toes and the giggles she gave sent bubbles of joy coursing through him. His hands traveled across her calves and up her thighs taking little nibbles along the way. He found himself at her center again. He inhaled the earthy smell of where the two of them had been joined, and smiled, knowing he'd be going back again before long. His fingers traveled upward and danced across her stomach. He felt the muscles tighten beneath them, and they both giggled at the sensation. He looked at her chest. It was pink from heat and exertion. The sweat still covered her body, casting a light sheen over her skin that made her appear to be covered in satin. As he arrived at her face, he lay down next to her. He ran his hand over her blushing cheek, and his thumb brushed her moist pink lips. Her eyes were deep pools of blue and she looked at him with utter tenderness; a side of her that very few people get to see. He was amazed that she couldn't understand how beautiful she really was. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her. He gently kissed her forehead, her cheek, her chin, her eyes, finally finding her lips and kissing her tenderly. He knew in this moment how he felt about her, and he wanted to scream it from the top of the Space Needle, but instead he said it in a soft deep voice, just for her… "I love you, Sam."
She turned to face me and rested her elbows on the bar. "Didn't expect to see you guys here," she yelled above the noise.
"Yeah, well it was Joe's idea. Seth promised Kate no strip clubs." I was beginning to think we might actually get through this conversation being cordial to each other.
"Nice to know they can be faithful to each other." The words were shot like an arrow right through my heart. Cordial was out. The bartender came back with her drinks. "So, how is Rachel anyway?" She asked with the tang of venom in her voice as she grabbed the glasses and turned to leave.
I absolutely meant it when I said I loved her, but I fucked up that drunken night that I slept with Rachel. I grabbed Sam's arm; I couldn't let her leave. "I told you I made a mistake, I love you! Rachel was nothing."
"Well apparently she was enough for you to piss away everything we had." She jerked her arm from my grasp, and then she was gone. I almost forgot how good she was at slinging the arrows, but she was right. In one careless moment, I undid everything we had worked so hard at building together. But the pieces were still there. I could see them; I could feel them, and if I had any chance at rebuilding, I had to salvage them.
I grabbed my shot and downed the glass of liquid courage before forcing my way through their little hen's nest and grabbing her out. I could feel the girls' eyes on me, ready to pounce on me to protect their own if necessary. Carly seemed to be holding them back, though. It seemed maybe I still had an ally in this little messed up war.
"What the hell are you doing, Benson?" She jerked her arm out of my grasp. I grabbed onto her shoulders to keep her there; I had to stop watching her walk away from me. Now, for the right words.
"Sam, I…" I looked into her eyes, and suddenly I was lost. How can anything I say undo the hurt that I caused? How can it adequately express the torture I've been through every night without her? "…I…"
I watched as her waiting eyes turned into fires beneath the blue. "That's it? You grab me out, make a scene and then all you can say is 'Sam, I…?'" As if the words didn't sting enough, she reached out her hand and slapped me hard across the face. The numbness that I had been creating all night with the beers and the shots…it was all gone. The girl may be small, but she's mighty, and I was suddenly feeling all the pain and hurt, sharp as a knife.
She turned to go, but I pulled her back. "No Sam! No more walking away!" Again I was left searching for words. "I…"
"Is this guy bothering you?" What the hell? Some asshole had just stepped between us. Who is this guy?
"Look, dude. Don't worry about it, I'm her boy…"
"He's nobody!" Sam's eyes were narrowed in a warning to me. "And he's leaving." That was it then? Game over?
The sleaze bucket grabbed her hand and started pulling her away. He clapped me on the shoulder as he passed. "Why don't you just go home, buddy. And don't worry about this one. She's in good hands." I could hear his slimy chuckle as he walked past.
"Yo, Nub!" Her voice was like a beacon to me, and I turned to follow. "Next time you feel like pulling that Macho Bullshit, try keeping a hold of your balls, Benson." Ouch, another arrow.
I stood and watched them as he pulled her to the dance floor. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and he was grinding his body next to hers. Her eyes were locked onto mine in a defiant stare while his hand was slowly moving up her thigh. Her eyes closed and her head tipped back, as it dipped under her skirt, and he began to nibble on her neck. Another arrow, Bulls eye! I was going to be sick. I couldn't watch anymore.
I didn't get far before I was stopped by Carly. "Freddie, she's just hurt." Carly said tenderly. "Don't give up." Carly has always been a good friend, but even she can be wrong sometimes.
"I appreciate your trying, and I'm glad you don't totally hate me too." I took a glance back and saw them kissing on the middle of the dance floor. "But, I think she just made it perfectly clear where I stand." I pushed past Carly and headed back to the guys. The waitress was already there, so I ordered another double shot of Jameson and slunk down onto the stool.
"Dude, what's with you tonight?" Joe asked as he nodded his consent to the waitress.
"You're white as a sheet, man. I've never seen you drink this much."
"The girls are here." I said plainly as I grabbed Jason's beer next to me.
"Aw, shit dude, Sam's with them?" Scott asked straining to find them.
"Yup, and she's getting off some asshole on the dance floor as we speak." My stomach lurched as I said it. It was supposed to be me out there with her. The guys all stood up to see where she was. I was just relieved to see the waitress finally heading this way with the drinks.
"Uh, oh. This can't be good." I turned to see what Seth was looking at. Sam wasn't on the dance floor anymore. I looked over at the guys, but their attention was on something else. Carly, Kate and some random club girl were walking toward us.
"Hey ladies, what's going on?" Joe always was the cheesy one. I just wish he'd stop always trying to hump Carly's leg.
"Back off, butt face!" Good girl Carly, way to neuter him. "Guys we think that Sam may be in trouble." I pretended not to listen, I mean, she made it very clear where I stood.
"Guys, this is Daisy." Kate introduced the club girl next to her. "She saw Sam dancing with that guy and came to warn us."
"Yeah, the guys bad news." Carly was looking directly at me. I knew my face was going to betray me, so I turned to my drink. I closed my eyes to try and block them all out...Big Mistake! I could see flashes of it clearly as if it were happening all over again. She's laughing with her friends until she sees him, then her smile fades. The look of hurt filling her eyes as she says, "Apparently she was enough for you to piss away everything we had." I feel my hands gripping tighter to my glass. She's dancing with that other guy. His hands are groping everywhere and she's letting it happen, as long as he is watching.
"…This guy looks for girls like her who have just had a fight." I can hear the club girl saying. "He takes them someplace secluded, fucks them, then leaves them there. He's already done it to two of my friends."
She's naked and straddling his hips. Her hips are rolling against his. I can feel my breath quicken. She's with him! His hand snakes between them, and her screams get louder as he massages her clit. She reaches up and grabs her breasts hard, turning her fingers white against them.
I clutched the back of my head. I could feel the vein in my neck pulsing under my thumb. I was still trying to drown out Carly and Kate, and now Seth, who were all yelling at me. "She doesn't want me," I heard myself mutter, but it was distant, like it was coming from someone else.
"Oh my God! You're so damn blind!" Carly's voice echoed behind me. "She's only doing this because she still loves you, and she wants you to feel the same hurt she did." She was getting her wish.
Hips bouncing, hair bouncing, breasts bouncing, the pitch of her voice getting louder, higher as the tension builds inside her.
"Dude, she wants you to chase after her," Seth slapped against my shoulder, breaking the trance I was in. "It's still game on, and the ball is in your hands. Don't lose her again, bro." I hate jocks and their stupid metaphors, but he had a point.
"Shit!" I slapped my drink aside, and charged toward the door. I was knocking aside anyone who stood in my way, and I could hear angry voices of people behind me, that I'm pretty sure, I just pissed off. I didn't care, though; I had to find her.
I ran through the door and inhaled the late night air, gathering some of my senses. There was still a mist left over from the earlier rain, and it set off a million little lights all over the place. How was I supposed to find her in all of this? I saw one of the valets pull up to the station. "Hey, have you seen some creepy dude with a blond girl in a white dress come out here?" He pointed about four rows over and said he saw them heading that way.
I had no idea what this sleaze bag even drove. I ran through the row trying to look everywhere at the same time. I was keeping an eye out for headlights, and ducking to look inside cars, too. Where the hell could they be? God, don't let me be too late. Finally, I saw movement inside a Silver Volvo C60 further up. Bingo, that must be it! Nice car asshole!
As I got closer, the Volvo started rocking slightly and the windows were foggy. Oh no, no, no. Don't be stupid Sam. I was ready to tear the Skeevy Son of a Bitch out of the car if I had to, but he wasn't going to have her. I finally reached the door and tried the handle, but it was locked, so I started pounding on the windows. I could see them together through the haze. He had his back to me. I couldn't see her face, but I could tell she was fully exposed to him from the waist up. He had his face buried in her neck and her head had been pulled over for better access. "GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER, YOU COCK-SUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"
I jumped back a little when the guy suddenly tore away from her and was facing me in the window. Shit that was fast. His hair was light brown and messy, and his eyes were so dark they almost looked black. The dude's skin was completely pale, and the way the light bounced off the misty windows made him sparkle, like some fairy. I don't know who this dude was, but he wasn't the one that left with Sam. I looked over at the girl. She turned her head toward me and started to pull her shirt back on, a small smirk was pulling at the corners of her streaked lips. It was the redhead I had danced with earlier. Wow, good thing I stopped. Guess all she needed was a warm body after all.
It hit like a ton of bricks. It wasn't me. It was never me…except to Sam. To the other girls, I was nothing more than a convenience. Good old reliable Freddie, always there when you need a warm body. I shook my head and smiled, not bothering to hide my relief. "Sorry, Dude, wrong girl!" I wasn't angry anymore, just more resolved to find Sam.
I had only stepped back a few steps when suddenly I found her. He was guiding her by the wrist, as they looked over the tops of cars to find his. Cheap assed sucker; can't even find his own car in the parking lot. I ran to her as quick as I could. "Sam, Please don't leave." I caught up to them and grabbed her arm to pull her away. "Don't make a mistake and leave with this asshole because you're pissed off at me."
She spun around to yell something at me. I hit a nerve. Yes! Finally! She opened her mouth, but the nut sack wrapped his arm around her neck. "Come on Baby, I see it. It's over here." Sam reluctantly pulled herself away to follow him.
Baby?! Nuh-uh, not his! As much as I wanted her to come with me, I'd take her from him if I had to. I ran up and shoved him from behind. "Her name is Sam, and she's not your baby."
I watched as he balanced himself after my "little nudge". He stood up and chuckled. God! I hate when people chuckle while I'm pissed off! I was ready for anything he'd throw at me, except that. He straightened out his jacket and smiled. "From what I hear, she's not your baby anymore either, Junior."
I looked over at Sam. She was just standing there. Why is she letting this nub speak for her? She never lets other people fight her battles for her. She loves the challenge too much. She doesn't even know this guy! "Sam?" I searched her face for answers, but she wouldn't look at me. Instead she allowed herself to be dragged away by this butt munch. Have I broken her?
I stood there reeling at the thought as it twisted around my gut. Sam broken? No, it can't be. She's the strongest person I know. If she was broken, I had to fix it. I ran to find them again. I saw them a few cars up getting into a yellow Camaro with a black racing stripe down the middle. A douche-bag car. Of course! "Sam!" I was almost to her, but Skippy tried to step in again. I pushed him aside. I was so done with this guy.
I had to make her listen, but thinking always trips me up, so I had to do this fast. "Sam, I know I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I'd totally take it back if I could, but I swear it didn't mean anything, and I know I've said all these things before, but I need you Sam." It wasn't working. She was totally shutting me out. He opened the door for her and she rounded the door to get in. I know how much Sam hates begging, but desperate times call for desperate measures. "Sam I'm a wreck without you, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate to do anything. All I think about is you. I love you, Sam!" She stopped. Yes!
She stepped back from the door and slowly strode toward me. My heart felt like it was flying. She had heard me, and she was coming back to me! I stood there in front of her unable to hide my goofy grin. She took the last few steps and was standing in front of me. "Sam, I…" I didn't get to finish. Her fist reeled back and she hit me with a whallop that knocked me backwards and took the breath out of me.
I was doubled over trying to catch my breath. Funny, I almost think I was a little relieved; I had been expecting for this to happen for so long. I heard her growl the words "liar" at me before she marched back and got into the car. The sleaze ball closed the door for her and started to walk around to his side.
Liar? No, Sam! With renewed determination, I hopped on the hood of the car and stood on my knees to face her. My hands were pressed to the cold slick glass. I'm not leaving without her. "I love you Puckett, and I'm not running away anymore." Her eyes locked with mine for a moment, and I thought I saw a softness in them. The engine rumbled below me and she suddenly looked away, softly shaking her head. "No!" I pounded the glass to get her attention. I didn't care if it shattered. "Please, Sam! Please stay here with me." I felt the car shift into gear, and the asshole started gunning the engine. Sam looked over at the driver confused, and I turned to follow her gaze. The snake gave me a little smile then I saw his body jerk as his food slammed on the gas.
The car shot into reverse. I flattened myself against the hood, and tried desperately to grab onto anything, but he quickly turned the wheel sending me flying off, and slamming against another car, before skidding along the ground. I caught one quick sight of Sam's shocked expression, and yelled her name, before the car peeled out leaving a trail of smoke behind. I heaved myself off the ground, ignoring the cuts and bruises that were already throbbing below my skin. I wobbled to my feet and tried to chase after her, but they were already gone. The only thing left of them was skid marks, and the smell of burning rubber.
I flinched as I suddenly felt a bunch of hands grabbing at me. "Freddie, dude, are you alright!" I barely registered Seth's voice over the car alarm I must have set off when I hit it. "I got his license plate," Scott called as he started punching the number into his phone. "Come on," Ben said, pulling me back toward the club. I couldn't even react, I felt so numb. I just let them guide me while I blankly stared at the gravel below.
The lights from the club were getting brighter, and we were almost there. I suddenly heard the sound of heels running towards us. I looked up just in time to see Carly jump toward me and fling her arms around me. I winced at the pain it caused, and she pulled herself away. "Oh My God, Freddie! I'm so sorry! Where are you hurt?"
She started checking my hands and face and body, looking for injuries. I knew she was concerned, but I didn't really want to deal with all of the attention right then. "I'm fine Carly, just go back with Kate and have fun." I lightly pushed her away.
Her demeanor switched in an instant. "Fine? You were just thrown off of a car, Freddie. You've got cuts and bruises all over you, not to mention the fact that Sam just left with some strange guy! Don't you dare tell me you're fine!" She was right, but I still wanted to be left alone. Kate gently pulled her back, and the guys finished bringing me back to the club.
They led me to the door, but I pulled away. I wasn't going back there. All I'd be able to think of is her with that slime bucket. I was being suffocated, and the only thing I wanted was to be out here alone so I could breathe. "You guys go in, I just need to stay out here for a few minutes." I managed to get it out calmly, even though I felt anything but. Seth pulled Kate in and Scott and Jason followed behind. I love my bros. They have my back any time I need them, but they also know when to step back.
I took a deep sigh and collapsed onto the curb. I dropped my head between my knees, and began to inhale deeply. My nerves were going haywire, and I felt like I was going to puke right there. I could feel the pressure against my eyes as the tears were welling up behind them. I ran my hands through my hair, and suddenly felt a pair of hands lay delicately against my forearm. "Freddie?" Carly's gentle voice was meant to be a comfort, but right then it was holding me back from the release I really needed.
She was squatting in front of me, and her eyes reflected the concern she felt. Shit, I must look as horrible as I feel. "I'm fine, Carly, go inside." I lied. She waved off my request and started examining the scrapes on my hands and face again. The anger inside of me was building, and I grabbed her hands and yelled in her face, "GO!" She jumped away and her eyes went wide, as if I had just slapped her. I love Carly to death, and would kill anyone whoever treated her this way, but right now I didn't care. I only wanted one person, and she wasn't it.
I looked at the shock on Carly's face and that was it. The dam broke and all of the tears started flooding out. Carly wrapped her arms around me to control the sobs, but for once, I didn't want them controlled. "Please Carly. Just go." I whispered. I could feel her nod against my shoulder. She gave me a kiss on my head before she stood up. Joe wrapped his hand around her waist and started guiding her away. I was finally left alone to feel all the rawness and the pain that Sam left behind. I let out a frustrated wail, and could feel the eyes of the patrons on me as they walked into the club. They didn't matter; nothing mattered anymore.
So that was it? I had been reduced to a crumpled heap on the side of the road. No better than the steaming pile of dog shit next to me. The tears left my eyes red and stinging, I sat there with my head in my hands staring at the pavement in front of me. I had been beaten, battered and bruised, so that finally my outside looked like my inside had felt for the past 3 months. I have no idea how long I sat there, but suddenly a pair of 4" strappy heels were standing in front of me. I didn't have to look up. I'd recognize those feet anywhere.
She sat down next to me brushing her shoulder against mine. She was really here. I still couldn't bring myself to look at her, but I let out a little smile. "You're going to ruin your dress."
She kicked off her shoes and stretched her legs out in front of her. "Eh whatever, It's Emily's dress. I hate Emily. I'm only wearing it because Kate made her loan it to me." I chuckled at her candor. Some things would never change. I could feel her shift beside me to look at my face. "Are you alright?"
I wipe at a scrape I feel burning across my chin. "I'll survive." I wanted to grab her and hold her next to me forever. She came back, but there was still no guarantee she'd stay. "So, he let you go?"
"Not exactly. Let's just say he's not going to be in the mood to do anything active for a while."
I had to chuckle. Of course he wasn't, the douche. I nudged her a bit. "That's my girl."
I heard her chuckle softly with me, and then it drifted again into awkward silence. Her hand was next to mine. I reached over and softly stroked my fingers across the back. Surprisingly she let me. In a few moments, she spoke again. "You know, what you did hurt a lot."
I froze again. Why was it that in these moments when it's the two of us, I'm too scared to say anything? Not anymore. I had her next to me, and I wasn't going to lose her again. "I know, I'm so sorry, Sam." Damnit! More tears! I hate being such a girl. "If I said it a million times, I can never say it enough." She wasn't pulling away, so I grabbed hold of her hand and brought it to my lips. It felt good to be kissing any part of her right then.
She was sniffling. I could hear the thickness in her voice. "Three months, Freddie! Why did it take you 3 months to get here?"
This was it. This was my chance to tell her what an ass I was. "I made a horrible mistake. I was ashamed." I took a chance and looked at her face. Her eyes were rimmed in red, and I could see tears welling up. I reached up to catch the tear that was starting to fall. "I never meant to hurt you, and whenever I looked at you, all I saw was how I betrayed you." I closed my eyes to get the courage to say the next words, the words that could decide our fates. "You deserve better than that."
"Yeah, I do!" The words should have been an arrow. They were shot like an arrow, but for some strange reason they didn't have the same sting. She sat silent for a moment, leaving her words bouncing through my head. "Freddie, did you mean what you said at the car?"
"Every word, Sam." I turned my head, searching for her eyes. I had to make her see the truth. "I know what I did was horrible, and I deserve all this torture I'm feeling." She finally looked at me. She finally looked past the words and was seeing my heart. "I miss everything about you! I miss your feel of your skin, and I miss your laugh, I miss the way you make fun of the way I wear my hair, and I even miss when you randomly pinch me on the ass, just to see how big of a bruise you can make." I could see a smile forming on her lips, her beautiful smile. "Its like part of me has been gone, and I've been so miserable without you."
"Good!" She turned to face the road again. She had that confident little demeanor that, in the midst of occasions like this, I always found irritating. Right now, I found it completely intriguing. "The truth is, Benson, that I've been miserable without you…except, you know, without all the mushy stuff." I smiled at the comment. Only she would take me pouring my heart out to her, and call it mushy. She picked up a small handful of pebbles, and started tossing them at the headlights of the Lexus in front of us. Her confident tone fell a little. "I'm not sure if I can forget what you did."
I watched as she dinged a couple more pebbles off the hood of the car. "You know, I'm not sure you should forget it…I know I never will." This whole situation was messed up. I rubbed my eyes. This whole thing was making me tired, and I hated talking about it, but I needed to. "The sad thing is, I was so drunk that I don't even remember that night. The only thing I remember was the look on your face when you walked in the next morning, and that I can't get out of my head."
She sat silent for a long time after that. I wanted to shake her until she told me what she was thinking, but in my position, I didn't have a right to expect anything from her. I just waited silently with her, and jumped every time she switched positions. I wasn't sure it was a relief, but she finally spoke, and her voice was soft. "You know, I may not be able to forget it, but I think I might be able to forgive it…if that was really it." She turned and looked straight in my eyes. There was no disguising the intent in them. "I mean it Benson. If there's a next time, I won't just break up with you, I will break you apart."
I breathed out such a sigh of relief, that I think all the air left my body. She was giving me another chance. That's all I ever wanted, and was way more than I ever expected. I scooped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. She was mine again, and I wasn't planning on letting go again. "There won't be a next time. I was so scared that this was it forever! I had no idea what you were thinking."
Her head was buried against my shoulder, and her voice muffled against it. "Wanna know what I'm thinking now?"
She pulled back away from me. "I'm thinking you reek, Frediline!"
I sat back and took a good look at myself. I had dirt all over me from rolling on the pavement. Streaks of blood were covering my scratches and I smelled like a brewery. "Oh, God I'm a mess! I think maybe I should go home and take a shower." I started patting myself to find my keys, but I soon lost track of that thought when I felt her lean over and start nibbling at my ear. "Or, you know, maybe a bath?" Bath would be nice. The tub is big enough for two, and I do love when she scrubs my back. Her mouth moved down my jaw and started for my neck and chest. "But then again, sometimes dirty is good."
She was mine again, why should she be the only one having fun? I lifted her up and straddled her on my lap. The dress tore just a bit, and she snorted in laughter. God I love her laugh. I wrapped my fingers in her hair, and began to kiss her greedily. Man I've been waiting so long for this.
She broke her mouth away from mine, and we both took a deep breath. She leaned over and whispered in my ear. "So I hear your room mate will be out for a while."
I couldn't help but smile. She knew how to drive me crazy in about a million different ways. "Uh huh." But, I knew how to drive her crazy too. I started kissing behind her ear, and grabbing her hips and pulling them toward mine. "Maybe all night." I was supposed to be trying to drive her crazy, but then I felt her hands moving down my hip and reaching into my pocket. She was so close, I might have exploded right there. I know I let out a groan, because she gave me that throaty chuckle that drives me insane.
Her hand was reaching closer and closer to danger, when she suddenly pulled it away. My head jerked up to see what was stopping her, and all I could see across her face was the famous Puckett smirk. She held up my keys next to her, and jangled them in front of me. "Let's go, Benson! You drive like a grandma. I'm in control tonight."
I couldn't help but laugh at her cheekiness. I stood up and lowered her to the ground. I gave her a small peck on the cheek, and whispered. "You always are, Mama!"
Ok there you are. This is totally not my writing style. Way more angsty than I'm used to. Thought I'd try something new. So how was it? I got a lot of handholding help from Panda Hollows and Fictions of Legends. Thanks Guys, I so totally owe you! I was mentioning to a regular reader (Johnny) that I think I have a problem with giving them unhappy endings. I might have to work on that, but I don't feel guilty about this problem at all.
FYI: I'm feeling really needy right now as far as feedback goes. Was it good, confusing, too much, not enough, totally shocked and horrified, wish I would give up everything else and only do this for the rest of my life? Were you thrown by my random cameo appearance in there (which I usually hate, but couldn't resist)? It's my birthday. (Yes really, for 32 more minutes anyway). So why don't you give me a little birthday present and review? Please!!!