Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest

Name of story: A Secret Love (If It Kills Me)

Pen name: Fates-Love-Queen

Song story is inspired by: If It Kills Me (The Casa Nova Sessions)

Artist: Jason Mraz

Category: Newbie : )

Main Pairing: Edward and Bella

POV: Edward.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns any and all Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. Copyright 2009 by Fates-Love-Queen. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

To read the rest of the entries, go to the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest on the Writer's coffee shop website/forum.
If you want to see the rules for this contest, go to the website.
If you have any questions about the contest, contact them either via PM or their email:

or go to

A/N: Ok, so this is Chapter 1. As per the contest, there will be four more Chapters to come : )

If you would like to hear the musical inspiration for this song, here it is: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=KBBMNJPk5qo

Such a beautiful, heart-felt song.

A huge shout out and thankyou to my super beta kyla713, who makes my words pretty and Americanised. Thanks heaps hun! : )

(If you haven't read her stories, do yourself a favour and read them. I wouldn't mind stealing her Armyward for a few 'drills' haha)

OK, I hope you enjoy : ) Thanks for taking the time to read.

"Well all I really wanna do is love you, A kind much closer than friends use,

But I still can't say it after all we've been through,

And all I really want from you is to feel me, As the feeling inside keeps building,

And I will find a way to you if it kills me, If it kills me..."

If It Kills Me (The Casa Nova Sessions) by Jason Mraz.


I watched her eyes widen in shock as she covered her mouth.

Oh god, that's not a good sign...

"Please, Bella. Please say something," I pleaded with her.

"I don't… I mean I didn't…"

She was cut off by a group of her friends calling her name from the parking lot.

She turned to walk toward them but I grabbed her wrist, the familiar current flowing between our joined skin.

"Please, say something. I'm sorry Bella. I don't care what just happened, just please don't go with him," I begged.

She looked down at my hand enveloping hers and then returned her eyes to me, her tears spilling over onto her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Edward, I have to go…"

She let go of my hand and walked toward the parking lot where her friends were waiting, talking loudly between themselves.

I watched him grab her waist and pull her into the car next to him.

As the car screeched away, she looked over her shoulder and met my eyes one last time before the car turned the corner and disappeared from my line of sight.

I dropped to my knees, my eyes filling with tears still staring at the spot where she left.

What have I done?

I had just made the biggest mistake of my life, and I could never take it back…She was gone…


Edward's POV:

When you ask most people what age they met their soul mate, I'm sure the majority of answers would be varying ages of adulthood, some might have even married their high school sweetheart.

Not me.

Nope, I, Edward Cullen, fell in love when I was just ten years old with the girl next door.

As clichéd as it sounds, it's true.

I still the remember the first day I met her as if it was yesterday…

The Summer of 2001:

I was in the backyard playing with my worm farm, when I heard my mother's voice.

"Edward, time to come inside. We're going next door to introduce ourselves to the new neighbors!"

I internally groaned as I stood and rubbed my dirt-covered hands on my pants, running into the house.

Our new neighbors had moved in yesterday and no one had seen or heard from them, and I knew 'introducing ourselves' was my mother's secret way of snooping.

"Oh lord, look at you! Edward you're filthy!" my mother exclaimed as I met her in the living room.

"Leave him be, Esme. He looks fine to me," my father replied, winking at me from behind my mother.

I smiled at him as I pushed my glasses back up on my nose.

"Oh fine. Alice, come on, let's go."

My twin sister came down the stairs in her best party dress and shoes, standing at the front door and smirking at me.

"Suck up," I said to her and she turned around to poke her tongue out at me, as we were pushed out the front door.

"Alright now, remember your manners," Mom said as she knocked on the front door.

I was shocked when a girl around my age opened the door.

She was just as dirty as I was; her pants and t-shirt covered with mud. She had long brown hair tied up in a ponytail and big brown eyes.

Naturally, I knew all girls had cooties, but not this one; she was beautiful.

She smiled at me and I dropped my gaze to the ground, blushing.

"What's up?" she asked, taking us all in.

"Oh, hello, dear. I was wondering if your parents were home."

"Yeah, hang on. Dad!" she yelled at the top of her lungs and I had to stifle a giggle.

"No need to scream, Bells. I'm right here… Oh, hi," an older man said as he came to the door.

He had the same hair and eyes as the girl with the addition of a moustache.

"Hi. Sorry to barge in unannounced, but my wife and I wanted to formerly introduce ourselves. We're the Cullens, your next door neighbors. I'm Carlisle, my wife here is Esme and these are our two children Alice and Edward."

"Em! Come down here!" the girl turned around and yelled again.

"Oh right. Ah, well I'm Charlie Swan, this here is my daughter, Bella, and the oaf behind me is my son, Emmett," the man, Charlie, replied, looking around uncomfortably.

A boy much larger than me, with the same curly hair and brown eyes, came and stood behind the girl, Bella. They both took in my dirty clothes and smiled.

"And is there a Mrs Swan?" my mother asked.

I saw the girl's face fall and I could tell she was upset.

"Mom!" I hissed at her.

The man rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"Ah, no. My wife passed away last year."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Please, forgive my wife's tactlessness."

"No that's fine, you couldn't know," the man replied in a soft voice.

We all stood in there in an uncomfortable silence.

"Hey, you wanna come in and play Dungeons and Dragons with us? We have a tree house and everything!" the girl asked me, practically bouncing with excitement.

"I don't th…"

"That would be fine," Dad said, cutting of my Mom.

"Edward, would you like to play with Bella and Emmett? If that's alright with Mr Swan, that is."

"Please, call me Charlie, and yeah that's fine. I'm just unpacking anyways," the man answered.

"That sounds awesome!" I replied.

"How about you, Alice?"

"Climb trees? In my best party dress? I don't think so, Dad," Alice scoffed and my dad chuckled.

"Alright, Edward, I'll come back and get you before dinner so you have time to wash up. Remember your manners and don't bother Charlie."

"I won't, Dad!" I yelled as the girl pulled me through the front door and to the backyard.

"Wow, this is so cool!" I said, taking in the huge yard.

They had everything, from basketball hoops to sandpits, but the thing that caught my attention was the massive tree house sitting in a large oak tree.

"I know huh! My dad brought the tree house with us from Phoenix. Wanna see?"

I nodded and followed her up the ladder. It had a flap on the floor that pushed up so you could climb through and close afterwards.

The tree house was almost as big as my bedroom!

"I'm Bella," the girl said as she held out her hand to me.

"I'm Edward," I replied as I took it gently to shake.

We both gasped as static electricity passed between our joined hands and we both pulled them back quickly.

We both looked at each other and laughed.

"How come you're covered in mud?" I asked, as she looked down at her clothes.

"Em and I were playing football before, and the grounds still wet and stuff from the weather," she shrugged.

"Yeah, it rains here a lot…" I laughed.

"Wanna play? Em loves football, I'm sure he'd love to play another game."

"Oh no, I can't. I have grass allergies, so stuff like football is out for me. I break out in hives and stuff…" I whispered, wringing my hands self-consciously.

"Oh, that's ok then. We can just play something else!" she replied and I smiled gratefully at her.

"How come your dirty then?" she asked.

"I was out playing with my worm farm and rubbed my hands on my pants."

"You have a worm farm? That's so cool!" she exclaimed.

"I know! You can come over and see it sometime, if you'd like."

"Really? That would be awesome, thanks!" she squealed as she leapt forward and hugged me.

I immediately stiffened and she let go, pulling her arms around her back.

"Oops, sorry. I get kind of over-excited sometimes."

"No, that's ok. I just… I was just surprised that's all."

I felt my cheeks blush at my bold-faced lie, hoping she wouldn't call me out.

I wasn't going to tell her that that was my first contact with a girl…

"Come on, I wanna show you my room," she said, dragging me down the ladder, through the house and up to her room.


From that day on, Bella and I were inseparable; we became a package deal.

We spent the whole summer together, in the tree house, at the park (away from the grass of course) or in our yards. I showed Bella my 'Operation set', she even let me put on my doctor's coat and practice on her, and in turn, she showed me her baseball card collections.

Alice tried to get Bella to play dress-ups, but Bella would just laugh and give my sister a hug before running to the yard with me.

My parents even turned our spare room into Bella's, and Charlie did the same from me.

We accepted each other for who we were and looked past the faults.

She accepted me for who I was; a reserved, glasses wearing, multiple allergy-ridden bookworm.

And I accepted her for who she was; an over-excitable, unpredictable tomboy who loved to play sports and get dirty, but was still beautiful to me.

We were complete opposites but together we made the perfect pair.

We always stood up looked out for each other, no matter what.

Although some times were more difficult than others, it only proved to make our friendship stronger.

September 1st 2001 – Bella's first day of school:

As Forks was a small town, Bella and I were lucky enough to not only to go to the same school, but to be in the same class as well.

Emmett was a year and a half older than Bella, so he was starting in middle school.

As Alice and I are the same age, my mom offered to take Bella with us, saving Charlie from having to make two trips. Charlie was already running late to the station so he took mom up on her offer.

When we pulled up at the school, we got out of the car and my mom hugged as all, telling us to have a good day.

I had never seen Bella nervous before but I could tell she was on her first day of school by the way she was biting her bottom lip between her teeth, so I grabbed her hand.

The spark of electricity was back, but this time it didn't startle us; we were used to it.

I held her hand as we walked through the school gates.

"Thank you," she whispered and smiled at me as we walked to our classroom.

"Ooh look everyone, Cullens got a girlfriend!"

I looked up to see none other than James Creedie and his gang, Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley standing in front of us taunting and making kissing noises.

"Nobody touch him, he's probably got cooties from all of the kissing!" Mike yelled.

"Who's your girlfriend, Edward?" James asked as he walked up to me.

"This is my best friend, Bella. She just moved here," I said.

"Ooh, Edward and Bella sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Edward with the baby carriage!" Tyler sang in the background.

"Bella, you shouldn't really hang out with Edward, you should hang out with us instead. He's a major nerd. Has he shown you his 'Dr.' set yet? I wouldn't touch him Bella, he might be allergic to you!" James sneered.

Everyone started laughing and I immediately looked down at my shoes, feeling the heat spread up to my cheeks.

Bella let go of my hand and I was sure she was listening to them, that I had lost my best friend.

When I looked up, I was shocked.

Bella had walked straight up to James and stood right in front of his face.

"Yeah, well at least he's a nice person unlike you, you pimple-faced dork! Leave him alone!" she screamed at him.

James took a step back as everyone started laughing at him, including his gang.

"Look, James is scared of a girl!" Mike laughed behind him.

"I am not! I'm not scared of you, you're just a loser like Edward," James yelled.

Bella stepped forward and punched James in the stomach.

"If you ever pick on Edward ever again, I'll get my big brother to kill you."

I stood there shocked with my mouth hanging open and looked over at Alice; her face reflected my own.

Bella walked back to me and grabbed my hand.

"Come on Edward, let's go."

I nodded and followed her, still shocked. That was the first time anyone had ever stood up for me.

"Bella! That was so cool! I mean, did you see his face?" Alice squealed.

I pulled Bella closer to me as we put out backpacks in the bag room.

"Thank you Bella."

"That's what friends are for," she said smiling, and I couldn't help but smile back.


That night I slept in my room at Bella's house.


I sat up straight in bed at the sound of the voice, scared.

"Edward, it's me. Are you awake?" I let out a sigh of relief when I heard Bella's voice.

"Yes, I'm awake," I whispered.

The bedroom door opened fully and I saw Bella standing in the doorway in her pajamas with a flashlight.

"Come with me, I want to show you something," she said.

I reached over to put my glasses on, shoved the covers back and put my slippers on.

"Where are we going?" I whispered when I met her in the doorway.

"It's a secret, follow me," she said and I did.

It was dark, but we managed to make it downstairs and to the backdoor with only a few trips.

Bella unlatched the back door, leading us outside and through the yard.

"Here, hold this," she said handing me the flashlight as she started climbing the ladder to the tree house.

I held the light on the ladder for her so she could see where she was going. She lifted the flap and slid in.

"Your turn," she called as I put the flashlight in my mouth to climb.

"What are we doing?" I asked once inside.

"Do you trust me?" she asked, taking back the flashlight.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Good. Now, hold out your hand," she demanded and I did.

She pulled out a small knife from her pocket and started to move it towards my hand.

"Bella, what are you doing with that knife?" I all but yelled.

"Ssh, you'll wake up my dad. You said you trusted me. Now do you?"

I took a deep breath and gulped; this was Bella, and she would never hurt me.

I nodded.

"Good, then hold still," she said.

She held my hand in her left as she pushed the knife into my thumb, drawing blood.

"Ow! What was that for?"

She shook her head as she let go of my hand and pricked her own thumb, also drawing blood.

"It's a blood oath. When we touch our thumbs together our blood will join together and make us friends forever."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yep. You ready?"

I simply nodded, as we pressed our bloody thumbs together.

"I, Bella Swan, swear to always be your best friend and to always protect you. Your turn."

"Um, I, Edward Cullen, swear to always be your best friend and to always protect you."

Bella smiled at me as she moved our thumbs together.

"Now we have each other's blood, we will best friends forever. You'll never have to be afraid ever again, Edward," she said as she pulled her thumb back and put it in her mouth.

"Thank you, Bella. You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for," I smiled as I put my thumb into my mouth, sealing the cut.

That night we fell asleep in the tree house.

Charlie wasn't too happy that he couldn't find us, but it was okay.

I couldn't be happier; I would never have to be alone again.

That night I fell in love with Bella Swan. I knew for the sake of our friendship, I would never be able to tell her. But that was ok; at least I knew.

And that was enough for me; for now.

A/N: I'd LOVE to know what you thought!

What are you thinking of their friendship? Are you liking Nerdyward? I love him!

Reviews are much appreciated, I read and reply to each and every one, they really do make my day.

As per the contest, the next chapter will be up by next Friday : )

So, thankyou for reading, and don't forget... REVIEW PLEASE! Ta : )