Story: It's Only Fair
Summary: Damon and Caroline haven't spoken since she broke him out of captivity. Now Caroline wants out too, she just needs to convince herself.
Rating: T ( swearing...sexual themes blah blah blah)
Because she was never the type to take things sitting down, she seeks him out. She rationalizes it out loud, muttering to herself in the car. They never really got a proper breakup, it's only fair that she gets a word in, it's only fair that he gets chance to explain himself- and if she's being perfectly honest she has a thousand fucking questions she'd like to ask. But she's not an idiot, she knows he won't answer her questions, she's aware he won't assuage her need for something tangible with simple explanations and hopes of closure – and if she's going to be brutally honest, she probably wouldn't be so drawn to him in the first place if he gave anything but his usual dosage of mystery and vague threats.
He's complex, she gets that. She gets that he wanted her because on the surface she is simple and she knows he knows she plays it up for him. He treated her like crap and then it was over and he was there but he wasn't in her world anymore, wasn't returning her calls, or meeting her gaze when they happened on the same place at the same time – it is a small town after all.
So finally- because she is tired of acting like some pathetic lovesick loser, because she is tired of thinking about him all the time, because she is tired of tracing the scars on her neck and her back with something akin to a masochistic desire- because she is tired of this obsessive, needy girl, she goes to see him. Just to talk, just to clear the air, or whatever, it's only fair and maybe things will go back to normal once she does, whether she likes it or not.
She cuts class and no one seems to notice her slip away. Like any good drug, her addiction to him has left her withdrawn and internal and suddenly those high school things don't matter as much as getting the next fix – but he's stopped and she can't stop wanting it- She can't stop wanting him. This is another issue in itself, one time back when she was a freshman, she did E with her then boyfriend, and despite the fact she was grinning like a maniac and declaring her love for life, she knew she was in control and she knew that once she came down she wouldn't need another fix again. She's lost that clarity and she's hollowed out her routine; he's gone and she can't get enough of him.
It's only fair, she should be able to get back her life, he might not admit it but he owes her that much, seriously. And she might not admit it but she doesn't want to get back to her life, because somewhere along the way, he sucked the fun and excitment out of everything she used to love. Her driving is erratic and she keeps swerving as her thoughts drift off the dotted line and back to his stupid haunting beautiful fucking face. Somehow, she knows he's at the house and maybe she is just clouded by her frustration or maybe she gained some bravery in all of this because she walks up without hesitation and lets herself in without bothering to knock.
He's on the couch watching tv and the normalcy of the situation freaks her out. Of course the screen is blank and he is in front of her before she has time to process it, but later on that night she tries to analyze it in her favour...could he be bored without her?
He's just staring at her expectantly and she feels a surge of irritation: the least he could do is a hello – besides she has been practicing the perfect cold but seductive greeting the entire drive. He is just staring at her; blue eyes and dark lashes and an eyebrow cocked as if to say "and?"
This throws her off and she forgets her script and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.
"Why'd you stop feeding on me?"
He chuckles darkly and she swears he looks surprised if only for a second, but she takes what she can get when it comes to Damon.
"I mean, I could ask you why you broke up with me – but I'm not going to kid myself with a boyfriend, girlfriend fantasy- I just want to know why you decided to... switch restaurants, so to speak. Considering the fact I gave you a little more than just blood, I feel you owe me an explanation"
For about thirty seconds she feels empowered and she feels in control, but then he spins her around and pulls her to him in a painfully tight hold and his teeth graze her neck in warning.
"So Caroline, if I bite you now will it make it all better?"
She is petrified but somehow that mouth of hers has decided to keep moving and words are bubbling out faster than she can try to stop them.
"You know what I mean. And I think you owe me the tiniest bit of an explanation – I mean I did willingly give you blood every night for a month"
He growls into her ear; she struggles against him. "So?"
Her lips continue to babble frantically even though every single cell in her body is screaming 'shut up, shut up, shut up, caroline, don't kill me, don't kill me, I'm too young to die'.
"So, I know you think I'm an idiot Damon, I know you think I was with you to fulfill some stupid Bella/Edward fantasy, but I'm not some child. I know when I am being used and I went along with it anyways... can you blame me for wanting to know why you stopped?"
She tries to turn to face him but he holds her tighter and tighter until it hurts to breath.
"Nobody wants the same meal every night Caroline, don't try to make anything out of this – I got bored"
Again her mouth betrays her mind which just wants to slip through his arms and run out the door. or puddle on to the floor and seep through the cracks, whatever's faster.
"Please, I know bored, I know bored because I am bored ninety percent of the time and I know you weren't bored the last time you bit me"
He laughs again and the sound is terrifying and strangely arousing, so she reacts in the only way she knows how at this point; she lets out a soft squeak and begins to shake. She is frightened and at the same time she is basking in the tight grip of his arms and the press of his chest and the feel of his teeth almost grazing her neck. She wonders when she became a masochist, she wonders if she cares.
The laughter stops and she closes her eyes tightly and waits for his teeth to sink into her neck. Times like these remind her he is a vampire, he is a fucking bloodthirsty vampire and maybe she is stupid for making him up to this misunderstood brooding bad boy because he can hurt her, he has hurt her and now she is very aware she could die.
His teeth never break her skin, instead they snap shut on themselves and he pushes her away forcefully so that she hits the door with a bang. His eyes are black and he is breathing heavily, she doesn't think twice and opens the door fast and runs to her car. He could catch her in a heartbeat but she makes it out to the driveway in one piece and speeds down the road on a rush that lasts to her house and then she collapses.
He is waiting on her bed when she enters her room and part of her was expecting this, but the other part had been scolding her for dreaming, so naturally, she reacts with more surprise than she wants to let on.
"What are you doing here?"
He smirks and takes her hand, pulling her towards the bed. He is on top and she is grinning like a fool underneath. She doesn't doubt that all those feminists from the last century are spinning in their graves, but frankly she doesn't give a fuck, in all honesty she feels light headed and happy and she isn't in control of this drug but she doesn't care.
Damon looks at her with a sadistic grin; half charming and beautiful, half frightening as the bloodlust clouds his eyes.
"Just treating myself to an old favourite snack"
Part of her is tempted to construe his words into something meaningful, into something more and although she prides herself in being driven, in being cunning, in being able to get what she wants, she can't escape her girly nature and what she wants is him.
Instead she has this moment, and it might be the last time ever, so she takes every moan, every scream, every inch of skin kissed, licked and bitten and takes it heart so she won't forget.
I wrote this a few days ago.....played around with it and didn't really change anything. I'm still getting the feel for writing these two - on the show they are both so strong and it's hard to add to it without altering their characters so much that they lose their charm.
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