AN: This is yaoi. Read on ur own responsibility. Don't say I didn't warn u.

This little smut is about two famous Akatsuki immortals. Yeah, u all know who I'm talking about ;) (just like u know that I don't own them). So I guess I just let one of the main characters tell u the rest. Here it goes:

Yo fuckers!

Since you reading this I bet you watch/watched Naruto (yeah, everybody just keep enthusing over that little fucker, I have absolutely no idea why? What is so special about him? That shithead killed Kakuzu, damn it!... What? You were watching the show for me too? Oi, I'm fucking flattered!). Anyway, what I was gonna say was you all know that scene where we (meaning Kakuzu and I) sitting in the rain for three fuckin' days on the rock, 'couse that shithead of a leader called us from some really good battle, where we were just about to kick that Konoha fucker's asses, to seal some damn bijuu, right? And when the sealing was over we just stretched out, then Kakuzu was being a nice guy and gave me back my headband, and then we walked away towards Konoha, right?


The producers cut out very fucking nice scene from there. They were mumbling something about children watching the show (I never liked fucking kids, luckily I don't have any… as far as I know).

Anyway, here it goes. The scene you're never gonna see in the show. Fucking enjoy!

Oh, and that bitch of an authoress said something about reviewing this when you're finished, so please her.

Oh, thanx Hidan :) I knew I could count on u!

Yeah, yeah. Just shut up now and let them read.


Agh… My whole body's stiff…

"Sitting still for three days sucked. Time to let loose" I stretched my neck, bones cracked. "Just you wait bounty guy…" I looked at him, he began to walk. "Kakuzu, where the hell're you going? The exchange point's this way, right?" I pointed another direction.

"Are your brain dead?" there he went again.

"Say what?!"

"Our target is the Jinchuuriki. Just because we said we'd be back doesn't mean we're required to waltz right into an ambush. We'll take a different route to Konoha. It's been three days. The bounty's probably been sent back to the village" Kakuzu turned back then to face me again "That reminds me…" he reached into his sleeve

"Wh-what now?"

"That wound on your neck is ugly. Cover it up" and with that he passed me my headband.

"Wow. You actually picked it up for me? Kakuzu you can be a nice guy when you try!"

"Shut up, Hidan! Come on!"

"Hey! Wait a sec!" I tied the fabric behind my neck. "Yo, Kakuzu! You may act like a prick, but you really like me, don't you?"

"Keep talking and I will kill you"

"Aw, don't get shy on me" I jumped down from the rock and then something cracked in my back. "Oh, shit. Just wait a bit Kakuzu. I gotta stretch a little more. My body is fucking stiff…" I said as I bended backwards and heared more cracking sounds.

"Shit, Hidan, you getting old" he grunted.

"Shut up fucker! Who's old here?"

"Lie down" he sighed.


"On your stomach. I'll help you"

"Wow. Aren't you nice today" I looked at him uncertainly. It was the second time within a couple of minutes. But, the hell, I'm immortal! Even if he was up to something it couldn't kill me.

I did as he said, tossing my scythe aside.

Then I felt it.

Oh, fuck…

Shivers ran down my spine as his fingers touched my shoulders. They were hard and cold, so I assumed he had hardened them using his jutsu. I relaxed enjoying the massage.

"Oh, Kuzu…AHHHH!" I yelled when he instantly increased the pressure "You breakin' my ribs asshole!"

"Stop whining. I'm loosening your muscles. And don't call me that"

"How?" I looked at him over my shoulder.

"You know how"

"Oh.." I sighed at his touch again and closed my eyes. Oh Jashin… If heaven existed I was there now. My whole body just melted under Kakuzu's fingers. I could die there and then.

Then some more shivers ran up my spine, through my neck and limbs and to the ends of my hair. My whole body twitched. Those wonderful fingers went lower. I could feel them just above my waistband. My toes curled.

"Fuck… it feels so good.." I groaned with appreciation.

I opened my eyes and looked at Kakuzu's face. He didn't raised his eyes from my lower back. I could barely see this but I was sure, he smirked. That old prick. Just what was he thinking?

"Mmm…" I couldn't stop a moan escaping my mouth and my eyes shut again when those fingers suddenly lowered to my tailbone. Blood rushed down my body.

Fuckin' shit!

I tilt my head to the other side feeling my cock growing harder. My face getting a bit hot.

"Shit, Kakuzu…" I mumbled.

"What is it, Hidan?"

"Just…" I wanted him to stop that.

Fucking no!

I wanted him to continue! I wanted those wonderful fingers to wander around my whole body. To explore me. To…

Suddenly he stopped.

My mind hit back reality. I shot Kakuzu a disappointing glare. He smirked under his mask and stood up leaving me there at the gate of heaven and tossing away the keys.

"I bet you're better now" he stated starting to walk.

"Wait!" I stood as well, my body strangely light. "We're not finished yet"

"Huh?" he looked at me, his gaze a little bit suspicious. Thank Jashin my coat hid well my the bulge in my pants.

I wasn't to give up now. I got an idea, and one way or another it just had to work.

"How about you? I bet you too have some tensed muscles here and… there" I smiled awkwardly trying to hold back a smirk.

He frowned at me.


My smile grown wider. Way to go Hidan!

"Wanna loose them? I've never told you that, but I was taking some lessons at one time, from a very fucking good masseuse…"

"I guess I wouldn't wanna know" he crossed his arms over the chest. "But… I guess I might give you a chance to impress me"

Hell yeah!

"Sit down and take your coat off" I demanded.

He frowned.

"C'mon. It'll work better without it. And besides you were rubbing my fucking bare back"

Kakuzu shook his head, sighed and finally did as he had been told sitting back to me.

Shit, I completely forgot about these.

The four masks on Kakuzu's back were looking at me now. I sighed and reminded myself of what I was to do. And no friggin' masks could foil my fun. I placed my palms on the tan stitched shoulders and began to rub.

Kakuzu's skin was surprisingly soft, even more by contrast with rough stitches. I traced the lines of threads. My touch was delicate at first, then harder as I put pressure on hard muscles. Then I ran small circles at the back of his neck with my thumbs listening a quickening breath. Kakuzu's pulse was growing faster. I placed my hands of the masks and could feel his hearts beating irregularly. I felt hot as blood rushed through my veins.

Then I ran my hand down his spine earning a quiet throaty groan. His reactions were turning me on like hell. I didn't thought he was so sensitive. I began to massage his lower back in the way I knew I'd get the reaction I wanted. Kakuzu's body twitched as I started to go lower almost touching his buttocks. He bended forwards even so slightly. I smirked.

I ran my hand down to his tailbone sliding it between his pants and underwear. He didn't protest, instead bended forwards more. Encourage by this reaction I let my hand wander up his spine and under the cloth cowering his head. My fingers tangled between the dark strands. Kakuzu sighed deeply.

I couldn't wait any more now.

I jerked his head slightly backwards leaning over his shoulder and met his hazy gaze. Jashin damn it if it wasn't the most arousing sight I've ever seen.

In one fluent motion I torn his mask and hood off his head and sank into freshly revealed thin lips yanking his head more backwards. He gasped and opened his mouth for me.

I immediately began exploring that hot moist cavern, threads tickling my palate. My hand slowly wandered down Kakuzu's chest soon finding his nipple.

"Mmmhhhh…." Kakuzu moaned into the kiss.

That was it. I went completely crazy, not to mention my little friend down there.

I broke the kiss and shoved Kakuzu on his back. He hissed, but didn't protest.

I looked down at him and met his defiant gaze. He smirked, eyes covered in lust. He was giving me complete control, and I'd be the biggest damn fuckin' idiot in the world if I hadn't seized the opportunity.

I ripped my coat off and straddled him.

"Time for some real fun now" I rolled his shirt up and kissed his muscular stomach, sinking my tongue in his navel. He arched his back a little, panting.

I went lower and nuzzled his clothed dick.

"Ahhh.." he moaned and placed his hands on my head.

"Impatient, are we?" I smirked and pinned his hands to the ground on his sides as I leaned over him and captured his lips again.

Our clothed erections were teasingly rubbed against each other. Oh Jashin I was hard as rock. We both moaned into the kiss.

I began kissing and nipping his neck.

"Mmm.." he moaned and groped my ass. I smirked against his neck and raised myself a bit to take off his shirt.

I went down his chest tracing the line of stitches to his erect nipple. I began to suck at it greedily earning more fucking turning on moans. Kakuzu started to wriggle beneath me. His hands wandered over my sides and back, sank in my hair. I knew he was getting impatient. And so was I. But that whole ministrations were too fucking pleasurable for their own good. I decided to tease Kakuzu some more and slowly kissed and nipped my way down his chest and stomach.

Finally I unzipped his pants slowly and took them off.

I held a hem of his boxers with my teeth and slowly slid them down looking into those hazed emerald irises. I made sure to brush my upper lip against his freshly revealed cock. He inhaled sharply at the contact.

"Oh Jashin, Kuzu… Aren't you happy with me now…"

I took a quick look at him before taking his tip into my mouth and sucking hard.

"Agghh… Hidan…" he arched his back and sank his fingers in my hair.

If seeing Kakuzu like that wasn't the best turn on ever I didn't know what was.

I took a deep breath and slid his rock-hard dick all at once into my mouth. Damn, that cock was huge. I could feel it sink deep down my throat sending a strangely pleasurable sensation down my stomach and lower. I let the shaft slip out of my mouth and devoured it again. It began pulsing. I sucked harder, nipping. I was totally into it, bobbing my head up and down.

Suddenly his hand tangled in my hair jerked at it. My head felt backwards and I met his gaze, feeling a mixture of pre-cum and saliva run down my chin.

"This.. is not how you want it.. is it?" he smirked, panting.

"You fuckin' readin' my mind!"

I quickly stood up and ripped off my pants along with the boxers and leaned down again. I moved my hand to his ass but he stopped me before pulling me into a kiss.

"Bupfyufnniiprepfiissinmm.." I mumbled into Kakuzu's mouth not even knowing myself what I wanted to say.

"Skip it" he said as we broke apart. My dick twitched in anticipation.

"Oi, Kuzu-chan want it rough? Be my guest then" I instantly shoved my cock up his ass without preparation.

He winced with pain. I didn't move though everything I wanted right then was to screw him senseless. To thrust into that tight warmth until we both pass out.

"Ka-kuzu.. you tight ass…" I breathed out.

"Move" he demanded.

I gladly obeyed and began to pound into him hard.

"Aaaahhh… Hid-aaan.." he cried out and I knew I hit that sweet spot.

His facial expression showed pure ecstasy. I become jealous remembering how it feels to have that spot inside abused. I wanted that feeling. Now.

"Kuzu.." I panted "Your threads.."

"Yeah?.. Ahh.."

"Sh-shove them i-into me"

His eyes widened slightly at my request.

"Please Kuzu… stick them u-up my ass.. ahh"

"Hidan… You're.. ahh.. kinky bitch!"

I smirked. He grabbed my ass widening the buttocks and second later I felt my ass ripped open.

"Aaaaghh.." I cried out as a sudden wave of pain spread across my whole body.

I began thrusting harder.

Soon Kakuzu's threads found my spot.

"Mmm.. oh.. fuck.. Kuzu.." I moaned as he filled me up. The threads were hitting that sweet spot within me over and over again, pounding hard. "It feels… ohh.. so… fuckin'… good… Oh Jashin… oh… yeah….Kuuuzuuu…"

"Shut up.. H-Hidan.." he shoved more threads into me. His nails dug in my ass.

The pleasure was almost unbearable. My fingers and toes went numb. Uncountable sparks of pure ecstasy rushed through my veins and skin. My heart felt like it'd break my chest any moment now.

Kakuzu began to pump his neglected weeping shaft in times with our thrusts. I watched it pulsing in his hand. That was too much. My eyes rolled back. There was no way I could hold it any more.

I exploded. My vision went completely white as my body convulsed in extreme ecstasy. I could feel my every cell pulsing with bliss as I spilled the last drop of myself inside Kakuzu's ass. If I could die, I almost certainly would have then.

The last thing I could feel was Kakuzu's walls squeezing me for extra measure and his cum spraying all over my chest and stomach.

I went completely numb. My body left me for several long moments and so did my mind.

"Hidan.." Kakuzu's voice echoed through my head. I finally got my conscious back. I was lying on the stitched chest. My body slowly returned to me. I finally pulled out of Kakuzu and felt on my back next to him.

"That was.. just wow.." I breathed out.

"Yeah" he admitted and stood up. "Come on. We're going"

"Whaaat?! You heartless bastard, just give me a minute to catch my breath! And besides, my ass hurts! How come yours not? You're looking like you've just gotten up from fucking nap"

He zipped up his pants and looked down at me.

"We have to go. And I'm afraid you won't be able to go anywhere soon if you lie like this any longer"

"You fucker!" I was still a bit sore and angry, but then widen my legs ever so slightly and smirked

"Bring it!"


2nd AN: Thank you so much for your reviews, dears! *big hugs* You're giving me energy to keep writing.

And no, there's no chance to change the seme-uke roles in this one *evil smirk*. I also think that Kakuzu would be more of a seme but Hidan isn't quite an uke material either, so it says like it is. (But I'm gonna change roles in some of my other stories, so check them out :))