Hey you guys!! I decided to write this little fan fic because I love this song, and it makes me cry every single time I listen to it. Let me know whatcha think about it. It's about Bella, and her struggles through life…hope you like it!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight…or the song Goodbye I'm Sorry
(A/N: first song fic)
Goodbye I'm Sorry
As I slowly woke up from the blissful darkness, I became aware of my surroundings. I faintly remembered what happened last night, and a look at the bruises that were already forming on my stomach, and the fact that I am naked just proves it. My father who is supposed to be the protector of this place and be loving and caring, my father raped and abused me. . .again. Sighing, I got up and had to hold back the tears from the pain. I was almost certain that I had a couple of ribs broken. But even though the pain was unbearable, and the bruises were noticeable, I had to continue. Making my way slowly into the bathroom, I took out my first aid kit and began my daily ritual. It has always been like this. Ever since she left. I can't say her name anymore or else the beatings will be that much worse. Once I was done cleaning my injuries, I went to my room and got dressed, slowly. This was just another day of my life. My pathetic, worthless life.
As I thought about the things that have happened to me over the years, my breathing hitched. I knew what I needed then. Almost running for my dresser, I pulled out the razor blade that has become my lifeline. Holding the blade to my wrist I slashed down. I sighed as I felt the hissing of the blade slicing through my skin. I waited until I felt calm enough to treat those injuries also. When I was done, I looked into the mirror. With who I was, someone would have expected to see a smiling, vivacious, bubbly girl, but all I saw was a dead girl whose sole purpose in her life is to be a worthless slut who forced her mother to leave her at a young age. My name is Isabella Marie Swan. I am 17 years old, and I am a junior at Forks High School. I love with my father, Charlie Swan, who is the chief of police and the protector of Forks. Ever since I was 5 years old, my father has beaten and bruised me. When I turned 12, he raped me. This has been happening every chance he gets. Sometimes it puts me out of school for a few days.
School. I hate school, and yet I am at the top of my class, not that anyone would care to notice. I have no friends, and whenever Charlie doesn't get to me first, Tanya and her posse, or the school jocks, Mike and Tyler would beat me up because I was a freak. I had no one at school that I could talk to, and even if I did, they wouldn't listen. AS I make my way to my truck and drive to school, I remember the first time Charlie ever hit me. . .
It was a rainy night. I heard my mom and dad downstairs arguing. They always argued. I heard my mom say that she was leaving, that she couldn't handle "it" anymore. I heard my dad pleading with her to stay, but she was already gone. I heard the front door close and as I ran to my window I saw that a yellow cab was outside, and as she put her things in the car, I saw her act like she couldn't get out of here fast enough. I started crying. I didn't want her to leave. Who was going to tuck me in at night? Give me extra sweets when dad wasn't looking. I was kneeling in front of my window when I heard my dad coming up the steps. He barged into my room and came sauntering in. He came over to where I was, grabbed a fistful of my hair, which made me scream, and threw me out of my room, down the stairs. I screamed as I hit each step, and when I hit the last step, I was sobbing and hurting all over. But all he did was pick me up and slap me across the face. He told me that I was never to tell anyone what happened and that I was worthless, and a whore for making my mom leave. He made me swear never to tell or else. I obliged very reluctantly. The last memory I had was of my father unbuckling his pant buckle. . .
I had pulled up to the parking lot and by now I was crying from the memory. I had made my mother leave me and my father, and I was a worthless slut, and didn't deserve to live anymore. I was a plain Jane, a loner, nothing special. All the girls hated me because I was skinnier than them; all the guys hated me because the girls hated me. The only person in the world who ever liked me moved last year, and left me alone. His name was Jacob Black. I got a call 6 months ago saying that he died in a car accident. I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral. Charlie would have killed me. I was still in mourning over my lost friend. He was my best friend, and yet he didn't even know that Charlie beat and raped me.
Sighing I decided to get out of the truck, even though I was an hour early. But as I got out of my truck, I looked and saw that there were two new cars in the parking lot, each one a couple spots away from me. A red M3 with spoilers on the back, and a silver c70 Volvo. Must be the new kids, I thought to myself. I had heard from some preppy bitches (no offense intended) talking about some new kids that were coming to school this week. I guess they are here now. As I made my way of of my truck, I saw five of the most beautiful people in the whole history of the world. Each one of them was very pale, and even from a distance, I could tell there was something unique about them. There was a big, burly one with dark curly hair, and at his waist was the most drop-dead gorgeous blonde I have ever seen. Standing next to them was a short, pixie-like girl with short black hair that looked like neat chaos. That one made me laugh. And having an almost restraining arm around her was yet another blonde, but this one was male, and looked a little bit like the blonde girl. As far as I could tell each set of two was together. And then off to the other side was a bronze haired god. When I looked at him, I found that he was staring at me, with his brow furrowed. Almost as if he was either glaring at me or concentrating on something very hard. His scrutiny made me cower in fear. My breathing came in little gasps as I looked away. I had to get out of there soon. I bolted up away from the bench I was on and ran to the only safe haven in this hell hole: the music room.
Once I reached my safe harbor, I exhaled in slight relief. I looked up at the clock and saw that I had only 10 minutes before class started. Well at least I can look at my beautiful piano. I said as I made my way to the baby grand piano that sat as if it were waiting for me. It probably was. I was the only one who played it, let alone had the skills to play it. The music class was small, and only a few people were in it, myself included. I can play many instruments, I can even sing. My favorite instruments are the piano, guitar, flute, and singing. I stroked the ivory keys of my beautiful piano and remembered the notes I made last night in my head. It was a song, called River Flows in You. A beautiful piece, if I do say so myself. Hearing the bell ring, and knowing that I had to go to Advance Literature, I sighed. I didn't have music until the end of the day. Sighing once more, I made my way to Mrs. Rhoads class (couldn't come up with teacher so used my own). As I was walking I heard giggles and footsteps from behind me. The laughter was too girlish to be a guy, but the footsteps were too hard for them to be a girl. I was the only girl at this school who didn't wear heels. As I quickened my pace, so did my follower or followers. I didn't dare look back to check. When I turned the corner I saw Mrs. Rhoads class, and I was nearly there, the closed door at my fingertips, when I suddenly got pulled back into the girls' bathroom. I tried to scream, but the guy, I now knew it was a guy because of his hands, covered my mouth, choking off any screams that I might have let out.
When I was finally thrown in the bathroom, I saw my worst nightmare: Mike, Tyler, a rope, and Tanya with a camera. I knew my fate then, but I still tried to get away from them. When I turned to run Mike reached out and grabbed my shirt, keeping me there. He then began to drag me back by my hair. I let out a screech of pain, but was silenced by a slap across the face. Mike threw me on the floor then and Tyler grabbed the rope and with Mike's help, tied me up. And while all of this is happening, Tanya is recording it. I also noticed that Mike and Tyler wore masks, and I realized why. They didn't want anyone to know they did it, but everyone already would.
When they had finished, Tanya brought out a mask which she preceded to place on her head as well. She handed the camera to Mike and she came over to me with bright red lipstick. I tried to shy away but Tyler held me in place. On my forehead she wrote "loser" and across my face she put "go die" and as she did I could only cry, which made me her only that much more pleased with herself. Tyler snickered along with Mike and Tanya. And then Tanya did the unthinkable. She went back to where Mike was and grabbed a spray paint can, in red. I tried to squirm away, but that only made Tyler angrier. He tightened his grip on me, and Tanya sauntered over and painted on my chest of my shirt "I am a slut" and when she was done she slapped my across the face, and motioned for her little gang to follow. And with a "bitch" and "slut" they left. Once I heard the door close I let the tears that had been threatening to fall, pool over in a nonstop cascade down my face. But I knew that I had to hurry up, and when I looked at the clock to see how big of trouble I would be in, I realized that I was only five minutes late. I quickly got the lipstick off, but I didn't know what to do with the shirt, so I turned it inside out and ripped the tag off of it. With a look in the mirror I sighed because this was as good as it was going to get.
As I walked to class, I couldn't help the limp that came with me. During my torture, I had been kicked in the stomach and when I was thrown onto the floor, my leg had twisted in a very sick angle. Oh well, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. And as I opened the door I saw. . .
Hahahaha...I know I am evil, but let me know what you thought, and please review!!