Scene opens in Monica and Chandler's bedroom. Monica and Chandler are lying in their bed, asleep. The phone rings. Monica wakes up, turns on the light, and answers the phone. Rachel screams from the other end of the phone.
Monica: Oh my god!
Monica screams into the phone. Chandler wakes up, grimaces, and covers his ears. Scene cuts to Rachel and Ross, in the planetarium. Rachel is screaming into her cell phone. Ross is covering his ears. Theme song and title sequence play. Scene opens in Central Perk. Rachel, Ross, and Joey are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the two chairs at the end table. Monica is sitting in the armchair.
Monica: Rachel, show us the ring!
Joey (sarcastically): Ooh, yeah, we're all interested in some ring-
Rachel holds out her hand towards Monica. Joey looks at the ring.
Joey: Ooh, shiny!
Rachel: I feel so great! I can't believe we're finally engaged. It's like, "Why have we waited eleven years?"
Monica holds out her hand and holds it next to Rachel's hand.
Monica: Eh. Mine is bigger.
Rachel draws her hand back.
Phoebe: Hey, we should throw you guys an engagement party tonight!
Monica: Phoebe, we're having a Halloween party at my house tonight. Did you, um, forget?
Phoebe: Well, I was thinking that since Ross and Rachel got engaged, we weren't going to-
Phoebe notices the angry expression on Monica's face.
Phoebe: I mean, I was thinking we could combine the two parties.
Joey: I don't know, you want to have your engagement party in the week of Halloween?
Chandler: Are you scared?
Joey: No. I mean, yeah, but not as scared as I would be if they had the party on, like, six-six-six.
Chandler: Yes, it would be terrifying if we went back in time to 2006.
Joey: Very funny, but they might still get married in 3006.
Chandler: You realize that's almost a thousand years from now?
Joey: Well, I thought that people were living longer now.
Chandler: He's got a point.
Monica: So, tonight, my house-
Chandler: It's our house.
Monica: Of course it is, sweetie! Okay, my house, six o' clock.
Rachel: Okay! We will be there.
Rachel and Ross kiss. Chandler pretends to gag. Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe quietly stand up and exit. Rachel and Ross come out of their kiss.
Rachel: Hey, where'd everybody go?
Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is dressed up as Frankenstein, standing in the kitchen.
Ross: Rachel, are you ready?
Enter Rachel from her bedroom. She is wearing a bridal gown.
Ross: Hey, wait, I can't see the bride before the wedding!
Rachel: Why don't you have your costume on?
Ross: I do.
Ross gestures to his Frankenstein costume.
Ross: Did you think this is what I wore to work?
Rachel: No, I mean, why aren't you dressed up as a groom? I mean, it's not like you've never had a tuxedo.
Ross: I'm not going as a groom, I'm going as Frankenstein.
Rachel: Oh, God, I'm Frankenstein's bride! Ross, will you please change?
Ross exits. Enter Joey, wearing his bathrobe.
Joey: Hey, Rache. Ooh, I like your costume. Scary.
Rachel: It's not scary! I'm a bride!
Rachel: What are you supposed to be?
Joey puts his fists on his waist in a Superman pose.
Joey: I am… Not-Ready Man!
Rachel: Well, you better get ready.
Joey: Hey, speaking of brides and not being ready, I think I'm gonna propose to Erin.
Joey: It's just that I really like her, and with you and Ross-
Rachel: ARE YOU INSANE?!
Joey: No, I've just never proposed, and I want to do it now…
Rachel grabs Joey by the ear and pulls him.
Rachel: No, no, NO! You cannot propose to her after dating her for, like, two weeks!
Joey: Ross did, with Emily!
Rachel: Ross! Joey, you're comparing yourself to Ross? Do you know Ross?
Joey: Hey, I can rush into things if I want!
Rachel: No, you can't! You can't just propose whenever you kind of like a girl. You know what happens then?
Rachel: You get divorced, and you keep getting divorced until you finally end up with me!
Joey: We still talking about me, here?
Rachel: No, I'm talking about Ross!
Joey: Okay, but Ross doesn't need your help.
Rachel: Now you're asking for my help?
Rachel: DON'T PROPOSE!!!
Exit Joey. Reenter Ross, in a tuxedo.
Ross: What was that all about?
Rachel: Joey was just pulling a…a… a Chandler.
Ross: What's "pulling a Chandler"?
Rachel: A euphemism for "pulling a Ross".
Rachel: Nothing, sweetie!
Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's house. Monica is standing in the kitchen over several large bowls. Enter Chandler.
Chandler: What are you making?
Monica: Just some snacks for the party. I had to combine a lot of engagement and Halloween themes.
Monica holds up an onion ring with ketchup on it.
Monica: See, these are like wedding rings, but I put ketchup on them for blood, so they're "Corpse Bride Wedding Rings". Cute, right?
Chandler: Terrifying. But, yeah, sort of cute. What else did you make?
Monica: Wilted edible corsages, red velvet wedding cake, and lady fingers.
Chandler: What's so scary about lady fingers?
Monica: Chandler, they're disembodied fingers.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, maybe I won't eat those.
Monica: Hey, have you decided on a costume yet?
Monica: Remember, we all have themed costumes this year.
Chandler: I know that.
Monica: We're all going as bugs.
Chandler: Not Rachel and Ross.
Chandler: Rachel and Ross are going as a bride and groom.
Monica: But… how could they do that? It's so selfish!
Chandler: Mon, they just got engaged.
Monica: Well, now the themes will be all messed up! They can't have a two-person theme! Then it's just a set, and sets are never any good.
Chandler: No, I'm part of their costume theme.
Monica: What? What are you going as, a ring bearer?
Chandler: No! Rachel's a bride, Ross is a groom… I'm a broom.
Monica: Is that supposed to be funny?
Chandler: You're just mad because you don't get it.
Monica: Chandler, are you seriously going as a broom?
Chandler: Of course! I made a hat with yellow straw all over it and everything!
Monica points at Chandler.
Monica: You better-
Monica pauses, takes a lady finger, and points it at Chandler.
Monica: You better go find a different costume.
Chandler: Or what? You throw an onion ring at me?
Monica: They're corpse bride wedding rings!
Chandler: Onion rings!
Monica: Corpse bride wedding rings!
Chandler: Onion rings!
Monica: Corpse wedding rings!
Enter Phoebe and Mike. Phoebe is dressed as an ant, Mike is dressed as a ladybug.
Monica: Corpse rings!
Mike: Did we miss something?
Chandler: Monica and I were just having an argument. She's mad that I picked Ross and Rachel's theme instead of- Are you a ladybug?
Mike: I was not aware that we were dressing up until today! They didn't have any centipede costumes on such short notice!
Chandler: Mike, I don't think they would have had any centipede costumes in January.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, you're right, because people dress up as centipedes for New Years!
Phoebe: Don't scoff at my family's traditions!
Mike: Wait, wait, so what are you dressing up as, Chandler?
Chandler: Rachel's a bride, Ross is a groom, I'm a broom.
Mike fake laughs.
Phoebe: Oh, I get it! Because at weddings, they use brooms to sweep the aisles!
Monica: Chandler, you have to go out and get a bug costume.
Chandler: I can't do that! You heard Mike, I'll end up being a ladybug, or a katydid or something!
Monica: Chandler, I doubt they have a katydid costume.
Chandler: No, I'm not dressing up as a bug. I want to be a broom.
Chandler: Come on, Monica, it's not like anyone's going to be paying me any attention when we take the kids out trick-or-treating!
Chandler: Well, they're not! If Jack and Erica are looking all cute and getting candy, then-
Monica: No! They can't go trick-or-treating! They're barely one year old!
Chandler: So they don't get any candy?
Monica: No! Never! They'll get fat, and everybody will make fun of them, and they'll… they'll be too big to play on anything at the park… and… and everybody will call them "BFG".
Phoebe: Big Fat Goalie.
Chandler: Honey, that won't happen to them. Nobody gets fat after one night of candy.
Monica: Not when you go to every neighborhood within driving range and demand candy!
Chandler: Sweetie, it's okay.
Mike: Every neighborhood in-
Phoebe elbows Mike in the ribs. Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's living room. A long table laden with a punch bowl and various other treats is near the back. The room is decorated for Halloween and an engagement party. Phoebe and Mike, in their costumes, are standing by the punch bowl. Monica, dressed as a butterfly, is sitting on the couch. Chandler is wearing white pants and a white Polo shirt. The doorbell rings. Chandler opens the door. Enter Ross and Rachel, dressed as a groom and bride.
Chandler: Hey, guys.
Ross: What are you?
Chandler: I'm a larvae.
Ross: I mean, ugh…
Monica: Hi! Good, now everyone's here!
Rachel: What about Joey and Erin?
Monica: Oh, I forgot about them. Well, that's a relief, I was afraid this party was going to be lame.
Phoebe: Excuse me?
Monica: No, guys, it's not you, it's just that any party with such a small number of people would be boring.
Rachel: Wait, so if Ross and I weren't here, but Joey and Erin were, you'd be bored?
Monica: I- sure!
The doorbell rings.
Monica: Oh, thank God, it's them.
Monica opens the door. Enter Erin, dressed as a bee, and Joey, dressed as Batman.
Monica: Joey, who are you?
Joey: I'm… Batman.
Monica: Joey! Batman isn't a bug!
Joey: But… but bats can fly!
Monica: Please, Joey, can you try to change it, look more like a spider or something?
Ross: Actually, spiders are arachnids, not-
Monica: You shut up!
Joey: Bats can fly!
Monica: Joey, I think if you just turn the mask around, and with a little… come on.
Monica begins to lead Joey towards the kitchen. Joey turns, looks back at Rachel, Ross, Chandler, and Erin, and mouths "Bats can fly!" confusedly. Monica and Joey exit to the kitchen.
Rachel: Hey, Erin, Ross and I are going to Disney World-
Ross: What? Since when?
Rachel: I told you about it on the way here!
Ross: You did?
Rachel: Well, no, but we're getting married, you should understand my body language by now. Anyway, Erin, we're inviting everyone else, and we were wondering if you'd like to come.
Erin: Sure! Sounds fun. You're bringing your kids, right?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, that's the whole reason, really.
Chandler: Yeah, that's why we're going. Sure.
Rachel: Chandler, it's okay to be excited.
Chandler: DISNEY WORLD!!!
Chandler exits to the kitchen.
Erin: But, um… I mean, that wouldn't be weird, right? With Joey? If all of you are going. I mean, we've only been dating for two weeks, and I really don't want to go too fast.
Rachel: Yeah, I don't think you'll have to worry about that with Joey.
Ross: What? Joey? Our Joey?
Rachel (to Ross): Shut up.
Erin: It'll be okay.
Rachel: Definitely. (To Ross) In fact, by then, she might have run away from him screaming.
Rachel: Monica makes really scary costumes.
Erin (sarcastically): Yeah, that's why her husband is a worm.
Ross: It's a larvae!
Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's kitchen. Monica and Joey are standing by the sink. Monica is taping antennae on Joey's head. Chandler is standing near the door.
Chandler: Monica, we're going to Disney World!
Joey: Disney World?!
Joey jerks away from Monica, who has tape stuck in his hair.
Monica: Chandler, I don't know about going all the way to Orlando, I mean-
Chandler: Monica, I am the man in this house and what I say goes!
Chandler: Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please???
Joey: Awesome! Maybe Erin and I can have our engagement party in Disney World!
Monica jerks the tape back.
Monica: You and Erin are engaged?!
Joey: Shhh! We're not engaged yet, but I'm thinking of proposing to her.
Joey: See, all you women have the same reaction!
Monica: That's because all of the guys are idiots!
Chandler: This is the part where you say, "Except for you, Chandler."
Monica: Come here, Joey. Do you want to see what you get when you propose too early?
Monica takes Joey by the elbow and leads him out of the kitchen. Scene follows them to the family room. Monica points to Ross.
Joey: He's happy! He's with Rachel!
Monica: Okay, forget Rachel. Think about that time in London.
Joey nods, smiling.
Monica: Not the bridesmaid!
Joey: I'm not!
Monica: Or your hat.
Monica: Do you remember how hard it was for Ross, when Emily left him?
Joey: That wasn't because he proposed too early, that was because he said the wrong name!
Chandler: Monica! Come over here, we're talking about Disney World!
Monica: Phoebe, can you yell at Joey for me?
Monica walks over to where Ross, Rachel, Erin, and Chandler are standing.
Phoebe: Bad Joey!
Phoebe throws her drink in Joey's face.
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, what are you doing?
Phoebe: I don't know. Monica told me to yell at Joey. I don't know why.
Rachel: He was planning to propose to Erin.
Phoebe turns, takes Mike's drink, and throws it in Joey's face.
Joey: Dammit, Phoebe, that one had ice cubes in it!
Rachel: Joey, we want you to swear you won't propose to Erin.
Rachel: Or we won't bring you to Disney World.
Joey: Okay, I really mean it this time! I won't propose to her.
Rachel: Okay. Then we should probably start- Mike, are you a ladybug?
Credits appear on the screen.
Scene opens on a plane. Joey is sitting in an aisle seat. A flight attendant walks past him.
Joey: Excuse me, could I get some peanuts?
Flight Attendant: Sure.
The flight attendant hands him a bag of peanuts.
Joey: Sorry, I meant pretzels.
Flight Attendant: Certainly.
The flight attendant hands him a bag of pretzels and waits for him to return the peanuts. Joey turns away.
END OF SHOW
A/N: Here it is! Beginning of the twelfth season! I hope all of my faithful readers from Friends, Season 11 have tuned in. Hope you all like the next season! Happy Halloween!!!