Htaed: Heya! We're back already, and dragging Tess along for the ride!
Grimm: And we've got HP peoples this time around.
Tess: Hola! Gracias a mi papa, mi mama…
Htaed: -whispering behind hand-She's not actually Spanish, by the way. She's blonde and blue-eyed and a smart cookie and an odd duck.
Tess: -grins- I like to throw people off like that. Also, I don't even know if my Spanish grammar and language is even correct, so- AUGH!! –ducks projectile thrown by Spanish stagehand- -glares- Hey! That could've mortally wounded me!
Htaed: No, it couldn't. You're a dead girl walking.
Tess: Well, yes, but that's besides the point. And like you're one to talk, you soulless fiend.
Htaed: I prefer Evil Overlordess of the Soulless Variety.
Grimm: -rolls eyes- You're both retarded. If you're too distracted to do it, I'll-
Htaed & Tess: COME ON IN!!
Grimm: Ow. I tell you what, ow. –rubs ears- That was loud.
Htaed: OMG! Tess! He's channeling Bartok!
Tess: OMG really?!
-Draco, Sirius, Harry and Voldemort come in-
Htaed: -shrieks- SIRIUS!! –glomps- YOU'RE ALIVE!! THE SEXYNESS LIVES!!
Draco: Uh… -looks uncomfortable-
Harry: SIRIUS!! –glomps- YOUR'RE ALIVE!!
Sirius: -is suffocating from lack of air-
Grimm: -pries Htaed off Sirius- Let go, moron. You're killing him. Again.
Htaed: He's fine.
Harry: -lets go- OMGSiriusareyouokay?!
Sirius: WHEEZE. –massages ribs- S'all good.
Voldemort: -brandishes wand threateningly- Harry Potter! I shall now-!
Htaed: -snatches wand- JACKED!! Haha, Tess, I got Moldy-shorts' wand!
Tess: -grabs Harry's wand- So? I got Harry's!
Both: -look at each other- Let's duel!
Htaed: -waves wand around aimlessly- -makes a green light shoot out-
Tess: -brandishes wand with purpose- -makes a red light shoot out-
Both: LIGHTSABER BATTLE!!
Htaed: -looks at her green light- Hey, no fair. I wanna be a Sith!
Tess: -shrugs- 'Kay. –trades wands with Htaed-
Both: -get into battle-ready position-
Grimm: Are you ever going any questions?
Htaed: -lowers wand- Oh. Yeah, better do that before the battle. No telling what'll happen. –throws wand over shoulder- Alrighty! First question! Moldy-shorts! –points at Voldy-
Moldy-shorts: Moldy-shorts?! How dare you-! You insolent-! You little-! (The deleted bits have been CENSORED for the sake of any accidental curses flying out of the screen)
Tess: Ooh, he called you insolent! That's a new one. Add it to the list, Grimm.
Grimm: -sighs and scribbles in a notebook-
Htaed: -frowns- He also called me little. Not good, Moldy-shorts. I don't appreciate being ridiculed for my height. –pulls out gunblade-
Tess: Ooh, are you gonna kill Voldy? –claps excitedly-
Harry: Hey, that's my job. –pouts-
Htaed: Damn. You're right. –pouts- Oh, well. –throws gunblade over shoulder-
Sirius: -picks up gunblade- -examines curiously-
Htaed: You'd better kill him for good this time, Potter. –looks threatening- Anyways, the question. Moldy-shorts, why do you have an unhealthy obsession with harry?
Moldy-shorts: I do not! –indignant-
Tess: Obsessions are bad for your health, you know. It stunts your growth. –is very serious-
Htaed: No, that's cannibalism. That's why cannibals are always so puny. –eyes widen- Are you planning on eating Harry?!
Moldy-shorts: WHAT?! NO!
Harry: No! I refuse to be eaten!
Draco: -grabs Harry possessively- MINE.
Harry: -grins- Except by Draco. –make out session-
Htaed & Tess: -applauding enthusiastically-
Htaed: Okee! Next quextion to axe!
Harry: What's a quextion? And why do you axe it?
Htaed: Question to ask.
Harry: Oh. Why didn't you say so?
Tess: Next question! Who you gonna call on?
Htaed: GHOSTBUSTERS!! That's my ringtone, yanno. Love it.
Tess: -facepalm- Seriously. You're notoriously easily distracted, so let's try to get in a couple questions, kay?
Htaed: Hmm…Next victim, next victim… IDEA!! –picks up Harry's wand- Point me! –wand spins and finally points at Htaed-
Htaed: -throws wand across room- USELESS!! I am disappoint.
Tess: Do not want?
Htaed: -agreeing- Do not want. Okay, next quextion. –snickers- SIRIUS!! –points imperiously-
Sirius: -looks up from examination of gunblade- Hm?
Htaed: When are you gonna get with Remus?
Sirius: -drops gunblade-
Htaed: Hey, that's mine! –grabs gunblade and holds to chest protectively-
Sirius: -coughs- …
Tess: Yeah, you two like, belong together. –smiles brightly- Like Harry and Draco!
Harry & Draco: -make out-
Htaed: Observe the hot gay slash in its natural habitat.
Tess: Quickly now, imitate so as to not frighten it off! –shoves Remus, who we have magically summoned, at Sirius-
Sirius: -catches Remus- -leers-
Remus: -has no idea what's going on-
Sirius: -kisses Remus-
Remus: -eyes bug out, then close- -make out session-
Htaed & Tess: -cheers- YAAAAAY!! TOGETHER AT LAST!!!
Moldy-shorts: -twitch- So…much…gay…-twitch- -assumes fetal position-
Htaed: -ignores Moldy-shorts- -pulls out video camera- HOT. So keeping this tape forever.
Tess: -also ignoring Moldy-shorts- Can I have a copy?
Cameraman: Yeah, hi, it's me again. Since the only guest not engaged in the…-coughs delicately, searching for the word- …activities to our right, has gone, for all purposes, temporarily insane, this session is now terminated. Yes, mom, I see you. You can stop waving now. –shakes head-