A/N: It's my boyfran's birthday. You know, that day the bible talks about, when the world was created? Yeah, that's today. And my boyfran turned thirty-six, so to celebrate, I'm buying a half lid and smoking every ounce of it. Then I'm gonna watch a Decade of Decadence thirty-six times, and bake a cake. Then we're gonna screw. Because he's my boyfran, and I hope everyone knows that. NOT YOURS. Liking Cena and Edge is like worshipping both the devil and God. You can't do both.
If it were any other day, being woken up by fireworks going off in a garbage can in your bedroom would be both frightening and ridiculous. But today was Adam's birthday, so he knew it was to celebrate the gift of life.
When the explosives stopped, and the room was slowly filling with an ominous smoke, Adam sat up and squinted. "Mack, where are you?"
A figure flew onto the bed, wearing a tradition Native American headdress, and started thrashing around to shake it. "WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!"
Adam fell back. "How did I know it'd be you?"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Jay started beating Adam's covered knees. "YOU'RE OLD!"
"OW! Stop that!" Adam fell out from beneath the covers, knocking his head against the nightstand. His vision blurred. "Great, now I can't see."
"Probably cataracts." Jay nodded. "You know why?"
Adam blinked a few times. "Cuz I hit my head—"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD! OOOOOOOOOOOLD!"
Adam glared at him, looking up at the clock. "It's midnight!"
"I know! Get up, birthday boy, we've got a surprise for you!"
Adam grumbled, but pulled himself up, getting his bearings before he followed a bouncing Jay out into the living room.
Adam smiled in spite of himself. "How funny."
Mack looked at the big card she was holding, nodding at the huge 63 on the cover. "That's how old you are, right?"
Jay clapped loudly. "And Kait and I got youuuu… Vanna, show him what he's won!"
Kait rolled herself over in a wheelchair with a big red bow tied around it. "This'll help you get around when your knees give out! …Again!"
Adam just stared at them.
"And Cody and Becky have given you..."
Cody came over and handed him a white box. "I just want to say that I don't think you're old, and that these bitches are really mean."
Adam nodded, clapping a hand on Cody's shoulder. "Thanks, man."
"He just has a crush on you," Becky said, smiling. "Happy birthday, gramps."
Adam pulled the top off, laughing. "Aw, a medical alert bracelet! You guys are so thoughtful."
"So when your hip breaks in the night, you won't die."
"Thanks, guys." Adam put the stuff down, yawning. "Grandpa hasn't had his usually fifteen hours of sleep, so if you don't mind—"
Adam paused in the doorway. "What? There's more?"
"One more, in the kitchen."
Adam groaned inwardly when Mack grabbed his hand and pulled him into the kitchen. She sat him down in a chair right in the middle of the room, then rang a bell that was placed on the counter.
Ted came from the other room and rolled an enormous cake over to him. "Happy birthday."
"Uh... thanks. Ted."
"Jay made me wear this."
"No, no... you can… dress like a butler if you want."
Mack snorted. "A slutty butler."
"A SLUTLER!" Jay shouted. He slapped Ted's ass. "Go get us some crumpets, Hazel!"
"Don't spank me!"
Adam covered his eyes. "Please stop this conversation, Mack."
Mack looked around quickly, then started singing Happy Birthday. Everyone soon joined in, and by the third verse, Adam was actually smiling.
And then more fireworks exploded out of the top of the cake.
And Jericho came out with them, throwing confetti in the air.
Adam just shook his head.
"Hap-py birth-day, Mr. Copeland," Jericho winked playfully, pointing at him. "Hap-py birth-day." He fixed the Birthday sash he was wearing, and ran his hand up his leg. "Tooooo you."
Adam looked up at Mack. "That's my present?"
"Yeah, can't you tell?" Kaitlyn nudged him. "Jericho's coming out for you birthday."
Jericho's eyes were as red as tomatoes as he came over to Adam, sitting on his lap with a piece of cake in his hand. "Eat up, Mr. President."
"GET OFF ME!"
Jericho pouted, standing up. "Well, so much for that!"
"What did you expect me to do?"
Jay appeared. "I'll eat it."
Jericho handed it over without looking at him. "I throw you a nice birthday party, and this is how you repay me?"
"Jericho, shut up. We're going to Denny's."
Adam glanced at Mack. "Why?"
"So you can get the Senior menu."
Kaitlyn nodded. "So that means you need to put some clothes on, Jericho."
"Can I wear this?" Jay tugged at one of the feathers on his headdress.
"Then I'm wearing a sailor hat." Jericho turned away with a huff. "And I refuse to wear pants!"
"That's okay, Randy's meeting us there. You'll be in good company."
"Randy?" Jericho tapped his lips. "I know what I'll be eating for dinner!"
"Are you openly gay now?"
"I'm not gay at all. Randy just reminded me that I want pancakes."
Adam covered his eyes and shook his head. "I'm getting too old for this."
A/N: Happy birthday, boyfran. My life—the world—would not be the same without you. I LOVE YOU! Review.