Disclaimer – I do not own Naruto or any of the characters there from; also I do not make any money off of these writings.
Warning – Man on man smexings, creatures of the undead variety, a tiny bit of violence and some blood.
Beta'd – Sadly this is very much unbeta'd. As usual I didn't get it done until the last minute and I didn't want to miss deadline. I hope you can overlook my mistakes.
This fic is for the sweetest cutie-pie in the universe namely Dee aka Blueh! She has been a huge help with the inspiration for this little ficlet not to mention she's awesomeness personified!
AN - This is written for the From the Darkness contest over at Y! Happy Halloween everyone!
Sweet, Tricky Prankster.
Naruto squeezed out a dollop of hair-gel from the tube and ran it through his thick blond hair. The product didn't completely tame his wild strands but hey Naruto looked good of he could say so himself…and since he was alone in the bathroom he certainly could. He grinned at his mirror reflection and squinted his eyes lined with black eyeliner; he liked the way they made his blue eyes pop. The blond gave his reflection the thumbs up and turned away from the mirror.
Naruto walked out of his tiny little bathroom and strutted over to the bed where his shirt lay. He picked up the black sweater and pulled it over his head, it was a tight fit and the hem of the shirt just reached the top of his tight leather pants. Naruto sat down and pulled on the heavy black boots and his black leather coat. He was going to go out and make the town unsafe dressed as David from the movie 'The Lost Boys'. David was a badass vampire in Naruto's book, besides he was hot…an added bonus.
Naruto was well aware that most people thought he was way too old to be out trick or treating but he didn't care. Halloween was the greatest day of the year, the one time it was allowed to go all out and be as crazy and outrageous as you liked. Halloween was all about pranks, sweets and tricks…and if there was one thing Naruto Uzumaki was, it was a sweet, tricky prankster…
The blond picked up his wallet and walked out of his apartment, this evening was all about having fun and Naruto was going to squeeze every drop out of the celebration, people could call him childish and immature as much as they wanted…at least he still knew to have fun. Whistling to himself Naruto walked out on to the sidewalk, getting ready to have some fun and raise a little hell.
Naruto laughed madly as he ran from the old man chasing him…why couldn't the geezer take a joke? It wasn't as if he had actually done something bad. It wasn't his fault the man was a chicken jumping at shadows, all he'd done was knock on the door and ask for a kiss. Granted…he was a full grown male dressed in black leather and make up on his face but still…There was no need to get that upset was it?
Naruto jumped over a hedge and ran onto a side street, the old man would never be able to catch up with him now. As he stopped to catch his breath he heard hands clapping and two shapes stepped out of the shadows.
Naruto grinned and held out his hand. "Alright guys, pay up. I did what you asked."
"Yeah, yeah…fine." Kiba gave the blond a five dollar bill.
"Easy money." Naruto pocketed the cash with a smile. "You guys give the lamest dares ever…Ask an old dude for a smooch…I mean come on."
"Okay then hotshot…how about a new dare?" Kiba said and Lee nodded eagerly. It was fun watching Naruto make an ass of himself after all. "There's this abandoned house or temple or some freaky shit up on Broad street and inside it there's this forbidden plaque…it's said to be able to raise the dead if read out loud…I dare you to go to that temple and read the plaque.
Lee was starting to look scared. "That doesn't sound youthful or rewarding at all, you don't have to go through with that Naruto, there's still time to go to Sakura's party instead." The dark haired boy breathed Sakura's name with reverence making the other boys roll their eyes.
"Pffft, what are you…ten year old sissy boys? Why would I be afraid to read an old sign in some rickety house? Lead the way, gentlemen…I feel the urge to pick your pockets for more easy cash." Naruto gave a mock bow that earned him a punch in the shoulder from Kiba and then they were on their way.
Sometimes Naruto wondered about his taste in friends, here it was…Halloween and the chance to transform yourself into anything. Still Kiba was unsurprisingly dressed as a dog and Lee's green turtle suit was just plain freaky…why on earth would a grown man in college want to dress as a turtle? Naruto just didn't get it. They were good guys though and the only ones who were nearly as crazy as Naruto and the only ones willing to go with him on his pranks.
The walk up to Broad Street was uneventful, the boys spent it making fun of each other and riling each other up. Finally Kiba stopped in front of a small ordinary looking house.
"This is it?" Naruto asked in disbelief as he eyed the tiny house, it looked like it could belong to any ordinary grandmother. "A bit anticlimactic."
"Don't let appearances fool you," Kiba whispered hoarsely. "It's said that this house belonged to a secret cult of some sorts and the best way to keep a secret is to not be noticed, not be out of the ordinary." The boy dressed as a dog continued in a gravelly voice.
"Kiba, have you been watching reruns of 'Tales From The Crypt' again? All that's missing is the flashlight under your chin." Naruto scoffed.
"Fuck you Spike!" Kiba growled back.
"How many times do I have to tell you…I'm not Spike, I'm David, an actual cool vampire." Naruto hissed back and fought the urge to pout and stomp his feet.
"Whatever, are you going to do this while we're still young or are you too chicken-shit?"
"Don't argue my high spirited friends, why don't we abandon this quest and go get something to eat instead?" Lee's large dark eyes were almost glistening with tears at the thought of his friends not getting along.
"Oh I'm doing it alright, I've never backed down from a dare and I'm not planning on starting now." Naruto jumped over the fence and walked up to the house. Getting inside was easy since none of the windows were locked, Naruto started to wonder if this was just some set up arranged by Kiba but the house seemed quiet and empty.
The blond walked to where Kiba had told him the plaque would be and after a bit if rummaging Naruto found it. It was made out of smooth, dark wood and not much bigger than the palm of his hand. Naruto lifted it off the wall and carried it with him outside; he was going to read it in front of his friends so that they could see that he wasn't cheating.
He crawled out of the same window he had entered through and hurried back to his friends with a triumphant smirk. Naruto showed them the plaque and snickered when both of his friends took a step back from it and looked at the piece of wood with weary eyes.
Naruto wiped the dust of the plaque and moved to stand under a streetlight so that he could get a proper look at it.
"Um guys…I have absolutely no idea what this says or how it's pronounced." He watched the red doodles on the wood with a blank expression.
"Just sound them out then, it's not like it really matters." Kiba said as he fidgeted, for some reason this didn't feel right and all he wanted to do was to go home.
"Alrighty then, here goes nothing." Naruto said as he started to read.
Abriel, Calabor, Nestiel, luth…Samhain…something, something Nuth.
Mors ultima ratio…something cashmere bumblebee.
Naruto finished his chant with flourish, raising the plaque over his head with both hands and waited and waited and…waited.
Kiba broke down into wild giggles when it was clear that nothing would happen, he could finally relax again. "Cashmere bumblebee…that's the scariest incantation I've ever heard." He laughed and wiped away the tears of mirth running from his eyes.
"Well it looked as if that was what it said." Naruto pouted, what a bust, not even a tiny spark to add to the Halloween mood. "As I said, you guys give the absolute lamest dares ever, now pay up and let's go home…I've lost the mood."
Both Lee and Kiba nodded and handed Naruto a ten dollar bill each. "See you guys later then, walk carefully home and don't let the ghouls catch you." The blond said and wriggled his fingers at his friends dramatically.
"Loser." Was Kiba's fond reply. "Take care dude and get home safe." Kiba and Lee started to walk towards the dorms where they lived while Naruto went in the opposite direction towards his apartment. Without thinking he put the plaque in his coat pocket, not noticing the letters started to glow an eerie red.
Naruto had only walked for about five minutes when he realized something was wrong…very wrong. He was being followed, by a group of people and they didn't look normal at all as they closed in on him with their waddling gait. Naruto reached into his pocket and felt that the plaque was burning hot, he pulled it out and tossed it away but that didn't seem to deter the creatures from following him. He looked at their sickly green, decaying skin, the holes where eyes were supposed to be and the mindless moaning that came from their gaping mouth that were filled with something that looked suspiciously like fish teeth…rows and rows of sharp fish teeth.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck and a million times fuck!" Naruto broke out in a run and cursed when the creatures did the same. "Why the fuck does shit like this always happen to me?" Naruto asked himself quietly as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him.
Police officer Itachi Uchiha abhorred Halloween with his entire being, this was the evening when all the freaks and all the crazies came out. Not to mention the drunken teens and that one or several of those devil-spawn always managed to throw up on his shoes. He straightened his blue uniform and sighed. Why did he always get stuck with the shittiest shifts imaginable?
Kisame, his partner had went to a nearby coffee-shop to get them both some much needed caffeine. That was the only way they would get through this cursed night. Itachi had already had to deal with two crying and lost children. A drunk Tinkerbell and an old lady that refused to believe that he was really a cop and had groped him repeatedly in a very private place and only squealed excitedly when he'd threatened to handcuff her. Sometimes Itachi thought that police brutality could be highly justified but he had managed to hold back his suddenly violent tendencies and Kisame had helped him pry the lady off him…For some reason she hadn't doubted that Kisame was a real cop even for a minute.
Itachi stretched his long legs out in front of him as he leaned against the hood of the police car, it was nice with a quiet moment. He reached up and scratched his neck where his long ponytail was stuffed inside his blue hat. Itachi wanted to go home, have a beer and just lazy around his apartment but he knew he had half his shift left before that dream could come true.
Where the hell were Kisame with their coffee? Itachi was growing impatient and was just about to chase after his wayward partner when he heard shouting and the sound of running feet. Whipping his head around Itachi saw a black dressed blond come tearing down the street chased by some guys in the ugliest costumes Itachi had ever laid his eyes on. What kind of people wanted to dress up in something that made you want to throw up?
"HELP!!!" Naruto flailed his arms as he ran towards the police officer. "Help me for fucks sake!"
Itachi's hand went to his gun by reflex as he watched a blond being chased by…well whatever they were came bounding down the hill towards him. Itachi would have played this off as another lame Halloween joke except for the fact that the blond looked genuinely scared.
Naruto ran towards the police officer as fast as he could, he was on his last breath by now but the cop should be able to help him…at least he really, really hoped so. The creatures were just behind him as he reached the police officer's side and slid to a stop panting and wheezing, felling like he was about to cough up his lungs.
Itachi drew his firearm and pointed it at the pursuers who were still closing in on them in their weird waddling gait and with snarling growls.
"Stop it right there and place your hands on your heads!" Itachi ordered in a firm voice. The Uchiha felt frazzled, he had never encountered anything like this before and he did not like not being in control of a situation. Besides the panting blond next to him felt strangely familiar and that was impossible, Itachi was certain that he had never met the other before.
The strange beings ignored Itachi's warning completely and continued to close in, by now Itachi could see their hollow eyes and the gaping mouth filled with their rows of teeth.
"What the fuck?" Itachi couldn't think of anything else to say.
"They're not human." Naruto turned to the cop and spoke. "I don't really know what they are but they're not human and I swear it was an accident…I didn't mean to raise them." Shocked and unhappy blue eyes locked on disbelieving black ones.
"You see it was a dare and I read the plaque but nothing was supposed to happen and nothing did happen and then the wood got hot and they came and they started chasing me and…and fuck you Kiba!" Naruto continued to rant without seemingly breathing as he pleaded with the police officer to understand him.
"Shut up you idiot!" Itachi glared at the blond. "I don't give a shit what you did to get them here, we need to find a way to get rid of them." The creatures had almost reached them now and Itachi had to make a decision. He released the safety on his gun and shot the ghoul closest to them in the thigh. The creature didn't even startle as it continued on his way, a long black, slimy tongue came out from its gaping mouth, licking the nonexistent lips and if anything the creature seemed to smirk at them.
Itachi knew that it was probably pointless but he had to try so he shot the ghoul in the chest and in the head too but it didn't make a difference, it just kept coming.
"Fuck…okay so guns won't work. You said something about a wooden plaque that you read from, where is it?" Itachi turned to Naruto, maybe there was some counter spell on it, some way to send these creatures back where they came from.
"Um…well," Naruto averted his eyes and shuffled his feet a bit. "You see, when it got all hot and these dudes came after me I…I sort of tossed it, I figured they would go for the plaque and leave me alone." Naruto's ears colored a bit with embarrassment.
Itachi sighed deeply and quenched the urge to turn his weapon on the blond idiot instead. "Well at least now we know that they're not after you for your brain…as it appears that you don't have one." He supposed he couldn't blame him though, he might have freaked too if he had been the blond. "Okay, then we have to think of another and plan and quickly."
"My suggestion is to run!" Naruto said a bit shakily, the zombie/creature/ghouls were right upon them now.
"We have nowhere to go." Itachi answered calmly although his heart was racing. He pulled back from Naruto a bit, got in position and kicked the ghoul closest to them as hard as he could in the chest. The creature stumbled back a bit and that seemed to be the all clear signal for the other creatures to rush forward and attack.
Fists, kicks and disgusting fish teeth were everywhere, Itachi was actually mildly impressed by the blonds' fighting skills but it was clear that they didn't stand a chance, the creatures were gaining on them and it was only a matter of time before they would be overpowered and…eaten.
Itachi and Naruto had moved closer and closer to the police car in their attempt to stay alive and not become a late night dinner. Itachi noticed that the ghouls seemed apprehensive about the vehicle and that they seemed to shy away from it a bit. One ghoul lunged for Itachi and sank his teeth into his upper arm, tearing out a large chunk of flesh. Itachi hissed in pain while Naruto turned and kicked the ghoul in its knee cap, sending him sprawling before he slowly crawled towards them again…Itachi's blood dripping from its teeth.
"Quickly…get in the car!" Itachi jerked the door to the backseat open and pushed the blond inside before crawling in after him and slamming the door shut, locking it tightly after them. This might only be a slight reprieve until the creatures found a way to get to them but it was all they had.
Naruto turned to the police officer. "Are you okay Sir? Take off your shirt and let me look at the wound."
Itachi gave Naruto a funny look but did as he was asked. He had already lost his hat somewhere in the fight and his look black hair had come loose from its ponytail and hung freely around his shoulders. Itachi took off his uniform shirt and the plain white tee-shirt he was wearing underneath.
The wound on his arm was deep and ugly but most of the bleeding had already stopped, luckily it didn't seem like those needle-sharp teeth were poisonous. Naruto paled a bit at the sight of the wound and he hurriedly wrapped Itachi's tee-shirt around Itachi's arms as a makeshift band-aid.
"Sorry, I'm a bit sensitive to the sight of blood." The blond said sheepishly.
Itachi did reply as he rested his heat on against the seat and tried to regain his bearings. The creatures growled and howled outside the car as they circled it again and again trying to work out a way to get to the tasty treats inside of it.
"I never thought I was going to die like this, eaten by creatures that I summoned by mistake along with a complete stranger." Naruto said as the car suddenly shook as the ghouls got closer.
"We're not dead yet." Itachi answered softly, he was still feeling frazzled and very much on edge…and for some reason he was very much aroused. He knew it was wrong and that it probably had to do with the adrenaline coursing through him and the fact that they would die shortly if a miracle didn't happen but no matter the reason the feeling of arousal was still there. The hot blond next to him with his coal rimmed eyes and leather pants didn't help either.
"Naruto," The blond said suddenly. "My name is Naruto; if we're to die here together then you should at least know my name."
"Hello then Naruto, I'm Itachi." For some reason Naruto's name rolled off Itachi's tongue as if he had always known it. He turned to look at the blond and was met with blue eyes that shone with the same feverish heat as his own, it seemed that he wasn't the only ones affected by strange sensations.
Itachi didn't know who made the first move but suddenly they were kissing, there was nothing soft or gentle about the meeting of their lips. It was more like a battle between tongue and teeth as their mouths met again and again in something that was almost desperation. They couldn't get enough of the other.
Itachi pulled the heavy leather coat off of Naruto's shoulders and tossed it aside, Naruto's black shirt followed quickly.
Naruto's skin was smooth as silk and tanned all over, Itachi dragged his fingers along the silky skin and relished in the moans that escaped from Naruto.
The blond was absolutely gorgeous and Itachi couldn't stop looking at him, it was as if he had been caught in a spell. His dark eyes locked on the perfectly muscled, caramel colored chest, slick with sweat from excitement as well as from the running and fighting. The light brown nipples seemed to call out for his touch and his tongue as they puckered by his gaze only. Itachi's gaze slid downwards and followed the trail of the taut abdomen down to the shallow hollow of Naruto's bellybutton that he wanted to fuck with his tongue and then down even further until they locked on the bulge in Naruto's tight leather pants.
"Fuck you're hot!" Itachi whispered as he looked up and into Naruto's eyes again.
"You too, just feel what you're doing to me." Naruto grabbed one of Itachi's hands and placed it over the bulge in his pants, groaning hoarsely when Itachi gave it a squeeze.
The creatures were still circling the car, still snarling and drooling. Both Itachi and Naruto could see them clearly through the windows but somehow they didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was the two of them and the heavy web of arousal that they were both trapped in.
Naruto matched the hungry stares that Itachi gave him with his own, the raven was delicious…all lean lines and sleek muscles.
Deciding that some kisses and gropes wasn't nearly enough Naruto reached down and unbuttoned and unzipped Itachi's blue uniform trousers and pulled them and his white boxer briefs down slender, pale thighs until they were pooled around Itachi's knees. He wet his pink lips with his tongue as he watched Itachi's member spring up, freed from its cloth prison, already hard and pulsating.
Naruto leaned in closer, letting his breath wash over the other's erection without really touching it, driving Itachi crazy.
"It's so beautiful Itachi, all hot and hard and red…the rest of you are so pale but this is a beautiful dark red…"
Itachi groaned and tried to raise his hips, trying to close the distance between Naruto's tempting mouth and his aching cock but Naruto's hand on his hip prevented him from doing so.
"Oh Gods…" Itachi's eyes almost rolled to the back of his head when Naruto finally put his mouth on him.
It was glorious, the way Naruto licked his shaft from root to tip before engulfing the head of his cock and suckling it gently. Naruto's teeth were sharp against his sensitive flesh but those hints of pain only made it hotter. Itachi needed it; he needed to feel that he was still alive.
Naruto continued his blowjob and rubbed his tongue in the slit of Itachi's cockhead roughly, making the raven buck and moan and grip his blond hair rather harshly. Naruto took him deeper into his mouth again; making sure his tongue slicked him everywhere, making the cock shiny and slick with saliva. His hands slid up and down Itachi's waist caressing and gripping as he felt Itachi's member hit the back of his throat. Fighting the urge to gag Naruto slid his lips back down to the tip, sucking on it one last time, and then finally releasing him with a loud pop.
Itachi grabbed Naruto's head with both his hands and made the blond look at him. "I need to fuck you now, I need to feel your tight fuckhole convulse around my cock as I pound into you."
Naruto just nodded with a dazed look on his face and with Itachi's help he shimmied out of the leather pants and tossed them at the growing heap of clothes at the floor of the car.
Naruto got up to his knees awkwardly in the tight space of the backseat and sucked his fingers into his mouth before sliding them out and down to his waiting entrance.
Seeing Naruto prepare himself with first one and then three fingers were almost enough to make Itachi come. The blond looked insanely hot fucking himself with the fingers of one hand while he jerked himself off with the other.
Naruto decided that he had prepared himself enough and he crawled over to Itachi, straddling him face to face.
After a bit of shifting on Itachi's lap Naruto grabbed Itachi's erection and positioned it at his waiting hole.
"W-wait," Itachi panted as he could feel Naruto's puckered skin against the head of his cock. "What about lube?"
"Fuck lube!" Naruto growled. "I need you right now."
With those words Naruto slid his trembling body down Itachi's cock with the help of Itachi's vice grip on his hips, back bowing, his mouth falling open in a pleasured scream. Itachi let out a trembling sigh, feeling Naruto's muscles envelope him in an unrelenting grip. Itachi let the blonds' tense muscles relax for a moment, then lifted Naruto until just the head of his cock remained inside Naruto's tight heat before dropping him back down harshly. They moaned in unison at the first thrust.
Naruto rode Itachi, kissing him deeply as his hips moved up and down. Itachi's hands left Naruto's hips… caressed his sweat slicked back before moving upwards and tangled in Naruto's damp hair. Itachi pulled at the blond locks as Naruto fucked himself on his cock, he pulled Naruto's head back so that he had free access to the blonds' slender throat, sucking and biting on the tanned column until he had left several large purple bruises marking the other.
When Itachi felt Naruto's thighs tremble from the strain of lifting himself up and down Itachi's shaft the raven released Naruto's hair and moved his hands back to the blonds' hips to help lifting him as they fucked.
It was pure scorching pleasure, feeling their bodies connecting and reconnecting. It wasn't long until the pace sped up, need and lust becoming more and more apparent. Naruto had mimicked Itachi's previous move and had his fingers tangled in Itachi's inky black tresses, pulling hard on his hair with every thrust. Itachi started thrusting harder, rubbing his hands up and down Naruto's slick, golden thighs and throwing him down harder, enjoying the intense shiver of ecstasy that rippled through Naruto's body when he hit his prostate and kept hitting that spot, over and over until Naruto could do nothing but pant and moan.
Itachi felt Naruto's velvet muscles envelop him, tightening every time he hit that spot that made Naruto lose a little bit more of his mind, he could feel his stomach tightening and his climax coming. He pumped Naruto's weeping cock with one hand as the other tightened its grip on the blonds' hip as he felt his toes curling and his orgasm approaching.
That was when orgasm hit them both, Naruto's ass tightened almost painfully around Itachi as the blond shuddered through his climax and Itachi tossed his head back against the seat and groaned deeply as he released deep inside Naruto. The dark haired man was still cumming when Naruto bared his teeth and sank them deep into Itachi's neck, his mouth flooding with rich, thick and spicy blood. Itachi tensed up at first but then he moaned as his eyes glazed over like he was in a trance of some sort.
Naruto swallowed a few mouthfuls of the sweet tasting liquid before reluctantly pulling away and running his red stained tongue over the wounds, making them close. He removed Itachi's tee-shirt from his arm and licked over the wound too until it only a slight redness remained on Itachi's pale skin. Naruto pushed Itachi's sweaty locks away from his forehead and kissed the raven gently as he carefully slid off the cock that was still lodged inside of him. Naruto grinned as he awkwardly picked the pile of clothes up from the floor and did up Itachi's and his own clothing in the cramped space of the police cars backseat.
"You're so cute officer Itachi Uchiha, I've had my eye on you for a loooooooong time and tonight I got you…" Itachi still sat unresponsive and silent but that didn't stop Naruto's chatter. "You know what? I had figured this would be just one night of fun but I think I'll keep you, you're too sweet to give up." Naruto leaned over and kissed Itachi on the lips.
"You're gonna wake up soon and think this all was a dream hot-stuff, your partner will be back with the coffee and this will all have been another boring uneventful night on the beat." Naruto kissed Itachi again, savoring the taste of his skin together with the taste of his blood that still lingered in his mouth. But…be sure to look over your shoulder little police officer, I'll be coming for you soon."
With those parting words Naruto climbed out of the car and stretched his leather clad legs, he smiled a toothy smile at the zombies who cowered and bowed in front of him…ah yes, they had served their purpose well. It was almost too easy to get Kiba to dare him to read that text and to make Itachi's partner stay away. Humans were so easy to influence and manipulate that it almost took the fun out of it…almost…Naruto chuckled to himself. His sharp eyes caught sight of the one ghoul who had actually had the nerve to hurt his precious prize and in a flash he was behind the creature, ripping its head off with his bare hands and kicking it away like a football, relishing it the wet thump its body made when it hit the ground. The other creatures whimpered in fear and hurried away…Naruto grinned again…He supposed that the head ripping was a bit overkill but he needed to show who was king after all, there was a reason he was on top of the food chain.
The blond wiped the Zombie gunk from his hands on his coat and walked away smiling and whistling. The full moon shone brightly from a cloudless sky, bathing the night with bone-white light and creating eerie shadows, Naruto loved it…Life, or rather unlife.
was good, he had fibbed, fucked, fed, fought and found his future companion all in one night, he couldn't wait to show Itachi the delights of his world, the Uchiha would fit right in, Naruto had no doubt about it.
Oh yes, he really loved Halloween the night for pranks, sweets and tricks…and if there was one thing Naruto Uzumaki was, it was a sweet, tricky prankster…
AN - Thank you so much for reading and just like always I would love to hear what you thought…