Me: This one is a little elaborate for my usual attempt at funny... Meh, it's actually kinda mean, but I hope it gets even a sarcastic laugh from you readers. That or a true one. Either, or... You know, for humors sake.

And if I get a good review, maybe I'll come up with another one. But I was hoping for an idea from a reader, or two, to make some more good feelings around. It's a bit like a challenge actually. If I can make you laugh out loud with your own idea, I'm actually qualified to be called 'funny'!

Though, I also have no high expectations in that area. This is a fandom that doesn't get as much attention/airtime, as it should, with the general public... But at least it has it's own wikipedia page!

Me: I don't own SWAT Kats... It is a sad sad thing, too... I've fixed my boo-boos in the previous chappys, I hope! Well, it's not like the major mistake in the second one was an awful nightmare.

Steele: Yes it was!

Me: Hey, is that Manx talking to Comdr Feral about your next promotion? (Points behind Steele)

Steele: Really!? (What do you think he did next?)

Steele: Me-ouch! Why'd you stomp on my tail!?

Me final: I thought it would make people laugh. (Shrugs) I know it would amuse someone...



Subliminal Values


Sometimes, the way Mayor Manx would hint at 'honorary parades', would lead Commander Feral to believe that Manx just wanted someone to hint back that he deserved one himself. If only to provide him a reason to set Ms. Briggs to work on setting one up immediately after, and then to seal the deal, make a public announcement that it was on its way.

Yes, that and golfing as much a possible, seemed to be Manx' lifework. No wonder Deputy Mayor Briggs was the one who was really in charge!

Yet on this day, that happened to be the Commander's birthday, the Mayor had made a special effort, out of his busy golf schedule, to ask Feral if he wanted a parade in his honor... No. That was not something that Feral particularly desired. The thought was... Well, no, it was just awkward.

Over the phone, Comdr Feral had said to the Mayor, "No thank you. I've already got a full plate dealing with Megakat city's crime rate!"

And so saying, he'd hung up.

A bit later in his office, his Sergeant brought in a cupcake that had a candle perched on top from his niece, Felina. Though Feral himself didn't particularly like sweet things, he had to admit, this sweetness might not be so bad.

Right after his Sergeant placed it on the desk though, a sonic boom that could only come from the Turbo Kat, rent the air over Enforcer Headquarters. Turning to large windows behind his desk, Feral saw that the SWAT Kats had left a fading smoke message in the sky above his office that read:

Hey Feral, you're finally whole a year closer to retirement!

-Razor, and T-Bone

It was obvious that they were trying to embarrass him in a rude and flashy manner... Those damn SWAT Kats! But his Sergeant merely shrugged and said, "Well that's something! I didn't expect them to know when your birthday, of all things, was!"

"Except that I'm one of the most well known Kats in this city!" Comdr Feral was not pleased that his Sergeant was taking it so lightly, nor was he happy that the SWAT Kats had made a complete, and open, spectacle of it!

Comdr Feral's day couldn't get any more irritating... But then, there was always the possibility that an omega had seen the message and decided to give him the gift of a nauseating headache. That would be just beautiful, and so completely heartfelt!

Feral already felt ill.

Turning back to his desk, he decided to save the cupcake for later. Much later.




Amazingly, not one of the omegas had made a move. It was either just a bad time for them, or they were waiting 'til after every Katizen would be asleep, if only to reawaken them rudely to weaken morale... It would be just like Dark Kat, or even Dr. Viper, to pull something like that!

So when Feral was back at his apartment that evening, in his favorite easy chair, he settled in only reluctantly, to start going through the days mail. Then, an all too familiar name and address, was found in the small pile: Hal Umbra of Tako street strikes again!

Wary of what this particular message may contain, Feral hefted it first, to be sure that nothing about its weight was abnormal. Deciding it was as light as a letter should be, he checked to see that it didn't have any strange smells. Paper, and maybe the the sealing adhesive...

This was stupid! He, Commander Feral, was being paranoid about some, more than likely, prank letter! That was no way for a top enforcer to act!

Digging his claw into the crease of the envelope, he sliced it open and then, poof! The envelope,and most of it's contents, had exploded into a colorful burst of confetti! Fluttering down to the floor, was a little square note that had been inside.

Feral bent over to pick it up, and turned it so he could see the message written in cursive, on the other side:

Dear Comdr Feral,

Another year older, but not, seemingly, any wiser. Don't worry, everyone knows you're just getting more senile anyways, so don't let this spoil your happy occasion! Rejoice, for we're one year closer to your eventual retirement!

Unbelievable... Whoever this 'Hal' was, they sure didn't quit with the rude antics! They even wrote the same thing as the SWAT Kats, though this had to be mere coincidence.

"I'm definitely having you investigated tomorrow... And don't think I won't, 'Hal Umbra'!"



Me: Yeah, not too funny this time around... But I can't bust peoples guts all the time, or they'd have no guts left to bust!

Comdr Feral: And where is the logic in that!?

Me: I dunno. But doesn't having the omegas acting like good little freaks for once, make a nice change?

Comdr Feral: Not if you like staying up all night, just expecting that call that never comes!

Me: Ooh, somebody's grumpy! You want a hug?

Comdr Feral: From you!? Never! You're getting taken in for questioning, right now!

Me: Eh? But this one was tame! And by-the-way, you'll never catch me! (Dashes off before Feral can react!)

Comdr Feral: Don't... Review... Ever!

Me: Review if you liked it anyway, please!

Comdr Feral: Where'd you come from!?