Finally updating this and it's for EternalDream's birthday! (which was a while ago...) Well, I'm not sure about this...but I hope you enjoy it a bit. This is concerning the Nick Simmons ordeal, so you have to know about that in order to know what's going on (he plagiarized Kubo among other mangakas in a comic book called Incarnate which included a blonde Orihime and a white-haired Kenpachi).

There'll be a sequel once I get more stuff to work with from real life Kubo/Nick drama.


Step Aside, Abe

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Orihime shifted in her seat uncomfortably when Kubo's eyes lifted to peer at her over his laptop and then shifted back down at the screen for the umpteenth time in the past five minutes since she'd made the seemingly reasonable decision to sit in his line of vision.

The creepy mangaka did not escape the narrowed eyes of Orihime's over-protective boyfriend who was leaning up against a cardboard set. And when Kubo looked up at her again and said, "Hmmm", that was it. Ichigo uncrossed his arms and marched over to the mangaka, ready to give him a piece of his mind and maybe a piece of his fist for ogling his girl when Kubo looked up as soon Ichigo appeared, hovering ominously over his seated person, and spoke before Ichigo could say a word.

"Ah! Ichigo! What do you think of Orhime-chan with blonde hair?"

Ichigo started and stared down at Kubo as if mushrooms had just popped out of the man's head. Orihime mirrored his expression. "Eh?!"

"Blonde," Kubo repeated as if Ichigo's hearing was the only issue here. "Orihime as a blonde, what do you think? And what about some blue contacts?"

"What the hell are you going on about, old man?" Ichigo barked as Orihime curiously studied a chunk of her hair.

Kubo waved him down to look at his screen. Ichigo bent down and scowled at the blonde, blue-eyed Orihime staring back at him.

"What the fuck did you draw?"

Kubo jerked and glared up at Ichigo, his feathers thoroughly ruffled. "Excuse me? Does this look like something I'd draw? I did not draw this…well, I did…but then I didn't…"

Ichigo's face deadpanned. "Are you going through another artistic breakdown?"

"No! I-"

"Oh! I kind of like it!"

The men's head swiveled to stare at Orihime who had walked around to see what the fuss was about.

"No you don't!" Ichigo shouted.

Orihime raised her eyebrows curiously in a silent request for an explanation to what on earth his problem was.

"I mean…" Ichigo looked away and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, I just…like your hair the way it is, is all," he finally grumbled out as a light blush dusted over his cheeks.

Orihime blushed and smiled as she bit her lip. "Thank you, Ichigo."

Kubo looked back and forth between the couple standing on either side of him and then cocked his head and smiled. "Awww."

Shut up!" Ichigo lashed out and waved his hand at the screen to change the subject. "What is this if you didn't draw it?"

"Oh, well," Kubo scratched at his cheek thoughtfully. "Apparently I've been plagiarized."

Ichigo and Orihime's eyes widened with interest and leaned in closer to take a look at the colored comic book on the screen. Orihime pointed to the character with black, spiky hair and red eyes. "Is that supposed to be Ichigo?"

"I think…I think it's actually a cross between Ulquiorra and Ichigo…"

"EH?!" Ichigo screeched. "Me and Ulquiorra?!"

Conveniently for this author and inconveniently for Ichigo, Ulquiorra passed by sipping from a bottle of tea when Ichigo had his little outburst and stopped, his black eyebrows lifting as he stared at Ichigo mid-sip.

"What about me and you?" Ulquiorra inquired.

"Nothing!"

"C'mere and have a look at your and Ichigo's love child, Ulqui-chan!" Kubo urged.

Ulquiorra glared as Ichigo flailed and shouted insults, but came around the group to peer down at the screen. And grunted. "False."

"False?!" Kubo cried, scandalized that he would disagree with his conclusion.

"This has nothing to do with me." Ulquiorra straightened and took another sip of his tea as he turned to leave.

Suddenly, Kubo remembered and hurriedly flipped through the onscreen pages. "Yeah, I think you're right. Here you are, Ulqui-chan!"

Ulquiorra sighed and turned back around to glance at the screen. And spit his tea all over Ichigo when he saw what Kubo's finger was pointing at.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Ichigo bellowed as he flung off droplets of tea. "Disgusting!"

"That is not me," Ulquiorra stated with a slight tremor in his voice as he stared at the dog faced monster.

Ichigo muttered a thanks to the assistant who ran up to him with a towel.

"No, actually, I think it is," Kubo decided.

"Kubo!"

Kubo raised his eyes to the all too familiar voice screeching his name in that all too familiar way. "Abe," he greeted mildly to the red-faced man running up to him.

"Kubo! Have you heard? You've been plagiarized!"

Kubo waved his hand at the anime director. "Yes, yes. My loyal fans already informed me."

Abe shoved his way to the front of the small group that had formed around Kubo and glared at the screen. "Really?"

He clicked a tab and his email's inbox came up showing three thousand, seven hundred and one new emails.

"Ah. I see," Abe said, looking slightly dejected that he wasn't the one to deliver the breaking news.

"By the way, Abe, how do you know? This has nothing to do with you."

Abe huffed and flushed red. "What do you mean this has nothing do with me?! I'm the anime director of Bleach!"

Kubo nodded. "Yes, the anime director. But that doesn't really mean a whole lot does it?"

"Eh?"

"I mean, we all know where the real talent lives around here. And isn't the anime basically plagiarizing my work with my permission?" Kubo inquired with a hooded gaze.

Abe gaped. "You make no sense you arrogant bastard!"

"Ano…" Orihime interjected. "Who plagiarized you, Kubo-san?"

Kubo turned to her and smiled. "That's the best part! You'll never guess."

"Nick Simmons, Gene Simmons' son," Abe provided blandly.

"Oi!" Kubo turned back to him with a stricken expression. "You ruined my lead-up!"

Abe rolled his eyes.

"But anyway!" Kubo looked around at the group with sparkling eyes. "The son of KISS! Can you believe it?"

"…Shouldn't you be a little more, I don't know…upset?" Ichigo asked.

Kubo cocked his head to the side. "Well, I suppose…but then I have people in corporation like Abe here to protect me," he said while affectionately patting the director on the arm.

Abe's eye twitched dangerously. "Why you-! You expect me to protect you after you insult me?"

"…Well…yes, actually." Kubo waved him off. "But anyway, it's too funny to be mad about it. I might…I might even be slightly flattered."

"Kubo, I don't think you should be flattered," Ichigo groaned.

Suddenly, Kubo gasped girlishly. "Do you…" He looked around hopefully at the group. "Do you think I might get to meet Gene Simmons because of this?" he squealed.

Sweatdrops appeared over the heads of his audience.

"Or, or, or! Maybe even get a private concert from KISS?!" Kubo was out of control. "I mean, plagiarism is pretty bad, right? So the least they could do is give me a concert!"

Abe swept his hand down his face. "Kubo," he groaned. "KISS has nothing do with this. It's the son."

Kubo just grunted at him and was tapping at his keyboard. After a few seconds he replied, "Huh, he's quite an attractive young man."

"Kubo!" Abe yelled. "He's a thief!"

"…But he's got this great bedhead look. Seems like a nice young man…maybe he's more of a moron than a thief."

"KUBO!" Abe bellowed in frustration.

"He's actually a terrible artist, though. I should call him up and give him advice. Namely, to not pursue a career as a mangaka."

"Kubo, we need to bring this to corporation and get this matter settled!"

"Except I don't know English so that presents a bit of a communication problem…"

"Are you listening to me?!"

"I really need to learn that language I suppose. I don't like how it's taking over the world so I kind of rebelled against learning it…but I guess it does make things more convenient at times."

"Are you ignoring me?!"

"No!" Kubo pounded his fist in his palm. "I will not give in to the demands of the man!"

Ichigo raised his eyebrow. "What man?"

Kubo narrowed his eyes and clenched his fist. "America," he seethed. But then his eyebrows shot up. "But!" He stuck his finger up. "We did pwn them in women's figure skating, fufufu."

"And then Korea pwned us," Ichigo remarked.

The group, which had gradually been growing in size to look at the plagiarist, gasped in horror. Orihime ran over to Ichigo to grasp his arm and protect him, if need be from the glowering crowd, as she quietly shushed him. "We do not speak of that, Ichigo."

"A-Anyway," Kubo started, eager to clear his mind of the horrid memory of them beating Japan. "Even so…it would be pretty cool to talk to Nick Simmons…"

"I asked you if you're ignoring me, Kubo!" Abe screeched, his face nearing shades of purple.

Kubo turned to one of his assistants hovering nearby. "Where do I get one of those Rosetta Stone thingamajigs?"

"Answer me, Kubo!"

Finally, the mangaka sighed and turned in his chair to address Abe. "Am I ignoring you? That is a ridiculous question. If I say yes, then I'm obviously lying because by answering you I am no longer ignoring you and, in fact, never was ignoring you. Was actually feigning a state of 'ignore'. So the only true 'yes' to that question is to not respond at all which you've made very difficult so now I have to speak to you in order to get you to shut up."

Abe stared at Kubo for a moment. "Wh…What the hell are you babbling about?!"

Kubo rubbed at his chin for a moment. "…I don't really know, as a matter of fact."

Abe growled and grabbed his hair, tugging at it in frustration. "Damn it, Kubo!"

Kubo turned back to his laptop. "So, do you think Nick would think I was cool if I dressed up in leather, studs, and face paint or would that be weird?"

"KUBO!"

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Poor Abe. Step aside and make way for the new canon of Kubo/Nick.