Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
A/N: This story starts after Preggers. Although it follows the timeline of the show somewhat, some things happen and others don't. It will be clear when you read it, so don't worry.
Kurt stared, his mouth open in disbelief, at the person in front of him. Finn was looking gorgeous, wearing one of Kurt's favorite outfits on him. The long-sleeved blue plaid shirt was open to reveal a dark blue t-shirt that fondly hugged his chest and a pair of faded jeans that fit nicely (although, sadly, they were not as tight as Kurt's skinny jeans). It wasn't Finn's attire, however, that had him speechless. Instead, it was the question he had just asked.
"Let me see if I understand you correctly. You want me to help you with your dancing?" He looked at him suspiciously. He just couldn't believe Finn would want his help.
"Never mind," Finn said, obviously self-conscious about having to ask for help. "Forget it." As he turned to walk away, Kurt came to his senses.
"No, I mean…of course, I'll help you. I'm just surprised you didn't ask someone else, like Rachel."
Kurt was just barely able to keep the jealous tone out of his voice. He could see the way Finn looked at her and it bothered him a lot. She was okay and all, although a bit of a diva, but Rachel definitely didn't deserve him.
"It's just…" Finn said, a little embarrassed, "I almost dropped her in practice. And everyone else can dance. I'm just not that good at it. I think if I had someone helping me…just not in front of everyone, I could get it." Then he smiled that sweet smile Kurt loved so much. "And you're a really good dancer, and you won't make fun of me."
"I am good," Kurt admitted, smiling back at him. "But you know, you're better than you think. I wouldn't necessarily call you graceful but you have a certain quality in the way you dance…an energy that is very…"
This was a sentence Kurt was not about to finish. Did he really almost tell Finn that he thought he was sexy?
Instead, he waved his arms around. "Well, you know."
"Um, not really. But that's okay. I just want this to be perfect…for Rachel."
Kurt was not usually a malicious person, except when someone got slushie on his one of his Marc Jacobs jackets, but he was really beginning to not like Rachel at all. That was interesting, considering he felt no ill will toward Quinn, Finn's actual girlfriend.
"I just have to get this right, Kurt."
He could tell that Finn was very stressed about the whole thing.
"Don't panic, I can help," Kurt said, with a grin. He didn't care why Finn wanted his help. This was his chance to get close to the man he adored.
"Thanks," Finn said with relief. "Do you think we could work on it now?"
"Sure. Let's go over some of the steps and then we will add the music." Kurt knew that he sometimes came off as bossy, but in this instance, it was necessary. Finn felt lost, and Kurt had to help him gain his confidence back.
"Just pretend I'm Rachel," he added.
They worked on the steps for the next fifteen minutes, going over each one until Finn had them down perfectly. They were working on the duet. Finn led, since Kurt was doing Rachel's part, even though Kurt suspected Rachel would lead if given the chance.
"Now as we go into the spin, put your hands on my waist and lift me into the air."
"But what if I drop you?"
"Don't worry. All you have to do is lift me up and keep me steady. I will do the rest."
Finn didn't seem too sure as Kurt pushed the button on the boom box to start the music.
They did the steps leading up to the spin, flawlessly. Kurt was amazed they were doing so well. Finn had picked it up quickly. He just needed some encouragement.
Kurt was actually the one having trouble concentrating with Finn so close to him. Thank goodness his body knew what to do.
Every time they touched Kurt felt the heat even through his clothes. It seemed to burn into him, like a brand. He wondered if Finn felt it, as well. If he did, he was able to hide it.
As they started the spin, Kurt forced himself to focus. He did not want to let Finn down.
Finn lifted him into the air with ease. Kurt could feel Finn's strong hands on his waist. He concentrated on keeping his balance as he stretched his arms out. He felt like he was flying, and it was a wondrous sensation. He was almost giddy, and he had to stop himself from actually giggling out loud.
Too late, Kurt remembered what would happen next. He tried to prepare himself as Finn lowered him to the ground. His hands were on the taller boy's chest. They were so close to each other that their bodies were almost touching.
Of course, in his fantasies, being this close to Finn was heavenly, but in reality the sudden intimacy was overwhelming. His heart was pounding loudly, and he could feel Finn's rapid heartbeat beneath his hands. He took a deep breath to steady himself. After all, he did not want to faint from a lack of oxygen. But that proved to be a mistake. The purely male scent of Finn clouded his mind, and he felt intoxicated by his nearness.
He couldn't speak…couldn't move, as he stared into Finn's beautiful, brown eyes. The other boy seemed to be in shock as well. He hadn't moved, and they had missed the last few steps of the dance. The music had since stopped, and the silence seemed to hang in the air, interrupted only by the boys' ragged breathing.
Kurt had an overwhelming desire to kiss Finn and before he could talk himself out of it, he acted on his impulse. He had to stand on tiptoe to reach the taller boy and Finn, realizing his intentions, put up his hand to stop him. Kurt felt the tingle on his lips as he kissed Finn's fingers.
Finn immediately withdrew his hand, but Kurt wasn't sure if he felt the same shock at their contact or if he was just repulsed by Kurt's actions.
"No… Kurt," Finn said. "I'm…I'm… sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I'm not…" He hesitated as if he didn't want to say the word out loud.
"No…I know, I'm sorry." Kurt felt mortified. What must Finn think of him, now? He could feel his checks getting red and his eyes welling up with unshed tears. He would not let Finn see him cry.
"It's just…" He raised his chin, but he still couldn't look the other boy in the eyes. "I've never kissed anyone," he said softly. "And to be honest…the only person I want to kiss…is you."
Finn was silent, and Kurt was sure he could hear his pounding heart. He waited anxiously for the rebuke that was sure to come.
Kurt looked at him in surprise, and the shock must have shown on his face.
"Okay. Sure, why not?" Finn said again, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "You are always helping me out. As long as you realize it doesn't change anything. I have a girlfriend. But," he added with a shy smile, "I think it would be kind of cool to be your first kiss."
Kurt didn't know what to say. He was stunned. Here was his chance… he had dreamed about this moment forever, and yet when the time came, he couldn't move.
"Is something wrong?" Finn looked puzzled.
"I…can't…" How could he kiss him when he could hardly breathe? It was different when he wasn't going to think about it. But now he was immobilized by fear. What if he did it wrong? After all, his only practice had been with the uncritical crook of his elbow.
"It's okay," Finn replied with a lopsided grin that always made Kurt melt into a puddle of fashionable goo. "I got this."
Finn slowly reached up and touched his chin, tipping it up. As he moved in closer, Kurt could feel his warm breath on his face. He felt a mixture of emotions: fear, excitement, and trepidation. Was Finn actually going to kiss him?
And then all thought left him as their lips touched. The kiss was soft and gentle, and way too brief. As soon as Kurt realized he needed to respond, Finn was moving away…
…but not far. Kurt's eyes were closed, but he could still feel Finn close to him. His unsteady breath was still caressing his face.
Curious, Kurt opened his eyes just in time to see Finn leaning in to kiss him again. His mouth opened slightly in surprise and when they kissed this time, the contact was more intimate.
Finn caught his bottom lip in his mouth as they kissed, and Kurt realized he could never have imagined the wonderful feelings now coursing through him. Their lips then separated briefly but only to find a new position. Unlike the other kiss, this one was firm, insistent, and full of barely restrained need. Kurt was unprepared for the sudden barrage of emotions.
Finn pulled away unexpectedly, as if finally realizing what he was doing. He looked shocked at what had just occurred.
"Kurt…I can't…" He paused as if unsure of what he couldn't do. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"
And with that he left the room.
Kurt took a deep breath. He still had tears on his face but he didn't wipe them away. They were like a badge, a testament to what he had just gone through. How did he feel? Sad? Angry? Mortified? Elated?
Maybe none of those, and maybe all of them. He just wasn't sure. He could still feel the pressure of Finn's lips on his own.
He smiled then as he wiped his face.
The first kiss was a favor.
The second kiss was not.
His smile widened and at that moment he felt ecstatic.
No matter what else happened, in that moment, Finn had wanted to kiss him.