Title: Curiosity Kills
Summary: Lavi doesn't believe that curiosity is a bad thing. He always does what his curiosity like a gnawing parasite wants him to do. He learns the hard way that it's not always so wise. LaviKanda, yaoi/boyxboy, oneshot, kinkmeme request.
Genre: I really had no idea about this one. o.O So I put it as Friendship and Romance.
Warnings: Yaoi, meaning BOYXBOY, don't like don't read. Kanda's foul mouth, sex between two men AKA yaoi, lack of appearance of any other characters aside from Lavi, Kanda and Bookman, possible overuse of the word curiousity, at least in some places, but that's how it's supposed to be so no worries.
Disclaimer: I do not own the DGM universe, I just squeal over it as the fan I am.
The title is taken from Trapt's song "Curiosity Kills", and its lyrics inspired me to write this fic, along with "Who's Going Home With You Tonight" by the same band.
This be my latest work. :3 Kinkmeme request (I need to be up in 6 hours and 20 minutes, weeee!). Ended up longer than I thought it would... Tell me if there are any awkward lines, typos, or grammatical errors, and I'll fix it immediately. And I apologize in advance for it.
Also, there's a paragraph about Lavi's nickname for Kanda in there that I'm not sure fits in there, really, and I don't know if it's really all that accurate, but I decided to leave it since it somehow managed to wind itself into the story enough for me to be unable to remove it without changing things.
And, I have no idea if the saying "curiousity kills" or "curiousity killed the cat" even existed back then, but whatever.
Kanda cracks an eye open, reluctantly, and he glances over to meet the brightly green eye. Lavi smiles in the way he only smiles when they're alone, in the way that seems much more real than his usual stupid grin that pisses Kanda off. Kanda doesn't mind that smile so much, because at least it doesn't make the redhead look like the idiot he is. His cheek is covered by a white plaster, there's still some dirt left on his neck and he still smells of blood. Akuma blood. It tickles at Kanda's nostrils and it makes something stirr inside of him. Akuma blood. Such an enchanting smell...
His gaze must have glazed over just now, because Lavi tilts his head at him. He blinks and focuses on the annoying redness of Rabbit's hair instead.
"You're tense," Rabbit states.
"Am not," Kanda scowls.
Lavi puts on a knowing expression. Lavi pretends he knows everything, as always. And Lavi is still an idiot. Especially when he thinks he knows. Or when he has that weird glint in his eye that to Kanda means "beware, the idiot just got a weird idea". Weird ideas plus an idiot rabbit equals "fuck off".
Kanda gives Lavi the finger before he even has the chance to say something more.
Of course that doesn't stop him from spouting nonsense. "Don't do that, Yu," he says and pouts. "Can't you see I'm just worried 'bout you? S'okay, y'know, I know how it is. I'm tense too. It sorta comes with the work, right? Right?" He looks expectantly at Kanda. ...what is he expecting? Kanda snorts. "Yuuu, you're s'pposed ta reassure me! You know I'm right."
He hangs his head in an overly dramatic manner, like he does pretty much everything else, and Kanda finds himself getting annoyed. His fingers twitch, and he doesn't understand that it actually serves in reassuring Lavi, because only someone who's tense and jumpy has twitchy fingers. Kanda does it often, but that just means he's often tense. Always tense.
He denies it. He's a professional. Professionals can be relaxed and still be on their guard, still do their job properly. Kanda isn't tense, so shut up, Rabbit.
"Well, anyway, I've been thinkin' 'bout that recently," Lavi drawls and scoots closer to Kanda, who glares threateningly, a glare that is of course ignored. "How easily ya get tense, doin' what we do. But y'know. There's a good, easy and pleasurable way to relax, 'n' enjoy yourself at the same time. Awesome, huh? Thought 'f it the other day. Was just waitin' for an opportunity ta bring it up."
Kanda stares. Lavi's crap just flies over his head, always. What the fuck? "Are you getting at something?" he asks, bitterly, tiredly. A bad feeling creeps onto him, slowly, and his hand goes to Mugen's handle by reflex, instinct, programmed pattern, he always does that when he feels uncomfortable, or angry, or threatened. He does it often actually.
He's always tense.
Lavi just smiles, knowingly again, annoyingly knowingly. Kanda eyes him suspiciously, fingers on the hilt, fingers fingers, ready to pull it out. Lavi keeps moving closer - stupid Rabbit, stupid mischieviously grinning Rabbit, stupid Rabbit-with-the-glint-in-the-eye-that-makes-Kanda-almostjustalmost-twist-uncomfortably - and there is just something about his aura that Kanda hates. Curiosity. The bad kind of curiosity that only Rabbit has. The curiosity that always gets him what he wants, because he knows just how to pry it out from whatever far away hidden place it's tucked into.
"Yep," Lavi says with a tone Kanda can't make the meaning out of, and he hates it. "I guess it could be called bein' friends with someone and... have 'benefits'."
Kanda is just about to ask what the fuck Lavi meant with "benefits" when the redhead reaches towards him and... grabs a hold of his belt. He springs to his feet, off the bed, nearly sprains Lavi's wrist or something, probably, but the idiot can blame himself for all he cares. The sword is pointed at the rabbit, he didn't really know he even raised it but if he hadn't unconsciously he would have done so by now, so it doesn't matter.
"What are you doing, you... you... idiot?!" he snaps and glares with all his might.
Lavi doesn't even seem to feel the pain from his has-to-be aching wrist. It just has to be aching because Kanda wants him to be in fucking pain. Or else he'll fix it now.
Mugen trembles threateningly, brushes against Lavi's shirt.
And Lavi keeps fucking smiling.
And then he grabs Kanda's arm and pulls. Kanda only manages to widen his eyes in shock before he's lying on top of the redhead. And the redhead's arms are locked around him, tightly, and he tries to struggle, really, but it doesn't work. His face heats up but, damn it, he can't be fucking blushing. Not Kanda-fucking-Yu. Kanda-fucking-Yu just doesn't blush.
"L-let go of me, you-you jerk!"
And Kanda-fucking-Yu doesn't fucking stutter either.
"Don't you trust me, Yu-chan?" Lavi whispers.
And what the fuck is his voice doing right next to Kanda's ear?! And why the fuck does his breath brush so hotly against the skin?
'No, no, I fucking don't!'
"Let go of me!" he repeats and headbutts Lavi, hard, but it doesn't help.
He only manages to draw a pained sound from Lavi, the grip on him doesn't loosen. But he feels somewhat contented anyway, because at least it hurt. He smirks lightly, stops struggling for a moment. Then there's suddenly a pressure between his legs and he lets out a surprised sound, his muscles tensing up in Rabbit's grip. Then he glares. At the redheaded jerk, of course. Who else? It better not have been what he thinks it was...
But there it was again. He twitches and growls and tries to struggle again, has to get out. But then the world suddenly turns and he soon realizes that Lavi just rolled around because his back is pinned to the mattress of his bed.
WAIT WAIT WAIT.
Lavi just had to jump off now and grin and say that hey it was all just a joke, but of course he fucking doesn't because no his facial expression says that it's anything but a joke. And Kanda can only stare, 'you have to be fucking shitting me!' he thinks, and Lavi almost, just almost, is grinning, but he's not getting off the fucking bed.
"L-lavi!" he snaps, and damn it stop fucking stuttering. He can only glare, that's the best he can do, because Lavi's straddling his legs and holding his wrists, and he's way too close. He needs to move away, needs to...
Kanda tugs at his wrists and tries to kick with his legs, but it doesn't work. And he squirms and tries to worm his way out but what the fuck is Lavi doing that makes it so impossible to move?! Why does he have to be so heavy? Way too heavy. Kanda can't throw him off, it just doesn't work. And his belt is just removed way too quickly, and Lavi's holding his wrists with only one hand now. And he's probably blushing all the way to his ears, or maybe it started there, he doesn't know. All he knows is that he has to be freaking blushing, because this is just way too ridiculous! Not because he's embarrassed, no way. Kanda-fucking-Yu doesn't get embarrassed either.
"Stop it," he hisses, but has to choke on his own breath as Lavi fucking rubs his palm against his definitely-not-there-growing-erection-goddamnit. Stop... It... Idiot... Rabbit.
"Say, Yu, ever touched yourself?"
What kind of question is that supposed to be? Lavi doesn't... fucking... deserve to know... And fuck, the rabbit has to stop rubbing his palm like that! Because it's clouding up his mind and he... he... doesn't care, but he wants to care, he should care. But it just feels good. And Lavi hasn't even... hasn't even gone that far yet.
"N-no," he finds himself shakily answering and scowls and curses at the lack of control he starts to have (definitely not already has). "W-why the ff-fuck would I?"
It's definitely not him that suddenly lets out a very silent moan and arches his back just slightly. Something starts tugging at his leg, and he realizes a bit too late that it's Lavi trying to tug down his pants. His wrists are released, but he can only claw at the sheets because the way Lavi's hand move over his... why is it moving over his cock like that? It shouldn't be, but he can't even try to tell himself the he doesn't like it, even less hate it. It's hot, and Lavi's fingers are rough, and skilled, way too skilled. His toes curl and he tries to grab a hold of Rabbit's wrist in vain, because he doesn't really want it to stop so it doesn't work, and he ends up simply clenching the sheets instead.
"Because it feels good," Lavi mutters into his ear. "Doesn't it? Like this?"
A thumb brushes over the tip of his erection and he gasps sharply, maybe it sounds something like a moan too. "No," he hisses out, even if he knows it's useless to deny it. The way he gasps and breaths haltingly and squirms and arches makes such attempts futile, and oh how much he hates it.
Stop it stop it stop it--
Don't stop, fuck don't stop... It's just too... too... Lavi suddenly does something, like some sort of weird squeezing and movement with his fingers, and Kanda finds his hips lifting off the mattress to get that hand to move faster. It's not fast enough, and that's just right. He doesn't get enough air, but hell if he notices. He hears himself hissing out a sharp "YES", but he doesn't even find the time to bother cursing himself for it because then something happens, something almost snaps, and he doesn't give a fuck that he doesn't have any control.
Fuck control. It feels so overrated right now.
Neither does it fucking matter that Lavi's chuckling next to his ear, or maybe somewhere above him, but he'll still get him for it later. After... this... He moans and lifts his hand, trying to grab onto something, like Rabbit's hair to make him shut the fuck up, but he doesn't succeed.
Whatever. He'll beat the fucker up, later.
He can't even find the bother to curse the whole world for being such a fucked up place when he comes in Lavi's hand, because this is definitely the whole world's fault, because if the world hadn't existed the stupid rabbit wouldn't have existed either, and neither would he have, and things would just... be better.
But not better than the feeling that just pulsated through what felt like his very being. He has never, ever felt such an intense feeling. It is better than any adrenaline rush a fight could give him, better than the anticipating feeling he gets from smelling the remains of the Akuma's target's ashes, or the Akuma's blood, much better... He has never felt anything like it.
And now his mind is all fuzzy, and he feels dizzy. Dizzy in a good way, and exhausted. The bed suddenly feels so comfortable... He wants to stay in it forever; he doubts he would be able to move if he wanted to anyway. He just breathes, that's all that breaks the silence, and he would like to have it stay that way. In the back of his mind he knows that Lavi's still in the room, but no, he can't find it in him at all to care. Even if he should.
"How 'bout that?"
Of course Lavi can't stay quiet. Kanda grumbles and turns around so that he's lying on his stomach. He buries his face in the pillow, having completely forgotten he actually doesn't have his pants on.
"Shut up," he replies.
Lavi chuckles and there's a light ruffling sound as his weight finally disappears from the bed. "See ya, Yu-chan!" he says way too happily.
The door opens and closes.
Sweet, sweet silence...
. . .
It pushes, it prods, it nags, it whines. It gnaws, gnaws so hard that it can drive anyone crazy. It gnaws and prods and nags until you give in and go to any measures to find out. Find out the thing that catches its interest. By all. means. possible. It doesn't matter how crazy it is, how much the warning signals go off in your head, telling you that it's dangerous, that you can't do it. You do it anyway, because you want to know, need to know. Curiosity tells you that, and you believe it. Blindly.
Lavi knows it very well. Curiosity is what drives him. The hunger for knowledge, hunger for knowing it all, hunger for wisdom... Hunger... Greed. It's what drives him, what drives the Bookmen.
"Keep your curiosity in check," Bookman had told him once. "Curiosity is what drives you, but it can also be what kills you in the end."
Lavi laughs at it. He hasn't learned to keep his curiosity in check, and he's still alive, isn't he? He hasn't been near death even once because of his curiosity. He has been near death several times, like when that stray bullet hit him, and when he's gotten wounds from his missions, but never because he's been curious. Bookman is an old, paranoid man. He always glances over his shoulder, always tells Lavi to be on his guard, not trust anyone. It's because of him that Lavi's beginning to become the same, but he tries to fight it. Has to fight it. He grows more and more tense as time passes. Bookmans scolds him and treats him with his acupuncture, but hell if it works. Not enough
. . .
Lavi thinks he might just have gone too far this time. But the curiosity... When he had seen Kanda fight during that mission, seen those muscles stay tense even when the silence had settled and all the enemies were defeated... Kanda just doesn't relax. And he had begun wondering... Is there anything that would make Kanda relax? If he can find something that makes even Kanda drop his guard for just a while, it would surely help him. They both need to stop being so tense.
Kanda's just so uptight, has a stick up his ass, needs to get laid.
...needs to get laid.
Maybe Lavi needs to get laid too. What is it like to have sex...?
He had decided that they both needed to get laid. Though... he might have just gone too far. But it worked. Kanda just lies there, his face buried in the pillow, must have forgotten he doesn't have a thread on his legs.
Well... there were no feelings involved, was there? What can it hurt?
He acts his usual cheerful self as he leaves.
. . .
Have sex, not make love.
Bookmen doesn't make love, doesn't even know what love is. Or at least they're not supposed to know. Or rather they shouldn't want to know.
Lavi grins to himself when Kanda strides into the cafeteria the next morning. He has a scowl on his face, like he always does, but it's different, and his face seems to have a different colour. His shoulders are almost a bit slumped and he doesn't even twitch when he sees there's a long queue in front of Jeryy's window, just glares death at it and then pushes the Finder that's up front away. His lips barely move as he hisses something and the Finder stutters out something in reply. When Jeryy appears in the window and eyes Kanda suspiciously, the Finder seems to try to get out something that looks like "it's okay, I'm fine with it" (it's hard reading a stuttering person's lips).
Jeryy doesn't buy it one bit. He puts on his sweetest smile and points to the back of the line.
"You are to behave in my cafeteria, Kanda dear, if you don't want to do the dishes tonight~" he cooes happily so that everyone in the cafeteria hears.
Kanda swears creatively, like only Kanda can, probably insults Jeryy too (Lavi doesn't manage to see) because the chef's glasses glint.
"Watch your language, dear," Lavi reads on Jeryy's lips. If Kanda pushes it one more time he'll definitely have to do the dishes. Apparently he doesn't at all feel like doing that and angrily marches off to the back of the line.
Kanda hates being called anything that points to affection. Especially something that to him you only call women or someone you love. Jeryy just is affectionate like that.
Lavi smirks and casually sips his milk. Well, his nickname for Kanda was never supposed to point at him looking somewhat feminine and pretty (and it's not his fault, is it? It's not his fault Kanda insists on having long hair and just happens to have a bit of a figure), no. When he first saw Kanda he thought he was younger, because really, back then he had been quite a lot shorter. And -chan can be used as an affectionate suffix for those who are close to you, and often younger than you, if he remembers the brief teachings he had gotten in Japanese from Bookman correctly (and of course he does). Sure, it's generally used towards young girls when the person is in their teenage years, but that was also why he chose that. Lavi loves pissing people off after all.
Now he knows Japanese a lot better, because he decided to study it on his own since Kanda occasionally mutters things in Japanese and it wasn't always that he managed to understand it when he first came to the Order. At least he knows it pretty much fluently now, and the Japanese he reads on Kanda's lips as he takes his place in the queue is very amusing.
When he finally gets his food Lavi has already finished his own. But he can't just leave Kanda alone. That's no fun. He's curious about how Kanda will react to seeing him after last evening.
He thuds down next to the samurai as soon as he has taken his place at his usual table-in-the-corner, and puts an affectionate arm around his neck, but Kanda only barely flinches, he doesn't tense up. Dark eyes meet Lavi's cheerful one.
Aww, he had been hoping to get another reaction. Shame.
"What the fuck do you want, Rabbit?" Kanda asks silently. The tone almost makes Lavi shudder.
"Just wanted to check on ya," Lavi says cheerfully, not allowing any slight fear to show. Keep up the mask. "Ya look different, but I dunno if you feel different. You've got a bit more colour on your cheeks." He snickers at the expression Kanda gives him and pokes his cheek, and then he leans in to murmur into Kanda's ear. "So, how do ya feel? Did my work have any effect?"
Kanda stomps his foot down on Lavi's, damn hard.
The redhead yelps and jumps away a bit, lifting his foot onto the bench to rub it. "Owww," he whines and pouts. "Was that necessary, Yu-chan? I'm just curiooouus~"
"Shut the fuck up, and don't call me that," Kanda snaps. "I'm trying to eat."
Lavi grins and watches as he pulls up some noodles from the bowl and puts them into his mouth. Some sauce ends up on his chin and he sticks his tongue out to lick it off. It's a long tongue, Lavi makes a mental note of. Wonder how it would feel to have that lick his cock... He has to find out somehow.
"I'll gladly do it again if you'll ever want it," he says silently and smiles knowningly. "It feels great, doesn't it? You just have to mention it. Actually, you don't even have to say anything, you can just come pull me away somewhere and I'll do it for ya if ya just give me the right signals."
"Do you want me to kill you?" Kanda asks calmly and slowly slurprs up some more noodles. "I won't hesitate to do it if you keep going on like that."
"Got it, Boss!" he replies cheerfully and gets off the bench. "Shutting up and leaving ya to your meal now. But keep it in mind, will ya?"
Kanda simply snarls as he walks away with his hands behind his head.
. . .
It's beginning to get addicting. Kanda realizes that, because everytime Lavi jerks him off he feels strangely contented the next day, and he wants more of that feeling. He's not becoming some kind of sex addict like Bean Sprout's stupid General, hell it's not even sex so it can't be counted like that. Not that he would even care about that... It makes him feel good, doesn't it? Even if he sort of, a little bit, doesn't like to admit it.
But that's fine, he decided a while ago. It's completely alright, what they're doing. No feelings, no awkwardness, just friends... helping each other out. Not that he had actually returned the favour or anything... But Lavi has yet to ask. So why would he? It's unnecessary. Well, unnecessary until Lavi points it out. He would give something in return if he was asked to do so. Even if it would most likely bother him. It's all about principle; it's rude to take and not to give. But he's not going to do something like this if he's not asked to do it...
It just became a habit to search for Lavi after missions, see if he was around...
He stumbles, he's just so damn tired. His eyes twitches to all sides, glares at everyone who even dares to look at him. His hands twitch towards Mugen every so often, but only when he starts to mutter darkly in Japanese under his breath does people begin to take an as wide as possible detour around him. No one knows what he says, but the tone is enough to freak anyone out.
Lavi's in the library. Probably working. Kanda doesn't give a rat's ass. "Baka Usagi!"
Lavi looks up immediately. Bookman puts on a disapproving frown that Kanda completely ignores, of course. "What's up, Yu?" Rabbit asks with his stupid tone and grins. "How'd the mission go? Badly?"
Rabbit can of course read his face. It used to be annoying, but now he finds that he doesn't care as much anymore. He had pretty much never had such a troublesome mission. Irritating villagers, irritating Akuma that there were way too much of for his liking, and no fucking Innocence in the end. Fucking false alarms.
"Yes. Now come with me," he says, putting on an expression that dares Lavi to reject it.
"Err... I'm sorta busy, Yu," is the reply.
Kanda doesn't accept it, no way. "So?" Lavi fidgets. "I don't care." Lavi averts his fucking gaze. "Come. with. me."
Lavi sends a look Bookman's way. The old man returns it with a glare that says "you got yourself into this, it's your problem". Kanda feels contented, because there's no way the redhead can reject it on his own like that.
And yes. He puts away his pen and stands up. He can't possibly be that sad about getting away from his work, can he? He's just putting up a front since Bookman is there, Kanda knows. It has happened numerous times. So Kanda isn't worried at all. He just smirks and turns on his heel, marching out of the room with determined steps. Lavi brightens up the moment they exit through the doorway. Tch, see, Kanda knows.
"You're my savior!" he cries. "Bookman was putting me through hell in there!"
"Che," Kanda mutters. Lavi has to jog to keep up with him. He may be shorter but he has developed a skill to walk faster than anyone else can. "Are you too afraid to show that you'd rather be with me than that old fart?" It's not like it would be something weird. Lavi enjoyes to make him... squirm... He scowls.
Maybe making Lavi squirm, if he could, and of course he can, would make it worth getting his hands dirty. He has actually never thought about that. Yes...
Lavi flinches and he smirks. Bullseye. "I should... be able to resist my urges," Rabbit says, beginning to sound slightly breathless from the jogging. "Y'know? Comes with bein' a Bookman. I just suck at it. Or maybe the panda is too picky."
Kanda rolls his eyes. "Whatever."
"Couldcha slow down? This pace makes talking somewhat hard."
"I know. That was my intention."
Lavi whines and he ignores it completely.
"But it's no fun if I can't talk!"
"You're not supposed to talk."
Lavi gives him a strange look, and something he tells him he might regret saying that later. Or maybe be thankful about it... Depends what it is.
. . .
Lavi likes Kanda's skin. It's so beautiful, so pale, so soft, so... perfect. Aside from his hands. Their skin is rough from all the times he has practiced and fought with that sword of his. Lavi wonders if that tattoo even heals it or if it just doesn't get the time to do so anymore... It feels as if Kanda is slowly letting himself get more and more worn out. Does he feel weak? Is that why he has begun practicing so much and demanding as much missions as possible? Is it because of Allen...?
Lavi shifts on Kanda's bed and stubbornly holds one of his hands in his own despite the way he's glared at. He strokes the small lumps and blisters, the fresh and the older ones. But they never do get much older than a day or two. Kanda doesn't like it, he tries to pull his hand away several times, scowling and trying to look as threatening as he possibly can - and that is quite a lot. It doesn't phase Lavi. After all, he's going to deal with those tense muscles of Kanda's eventually, he just wants to... check this for a little. So Kanda can't hurt him because then that wouldn't happen.
"Why don't they heal, Yu?" he asks and frowns. Kanda just shrugs. "How much do you train?" Sure, Kanda just came back from a mission, but still. It doesn't hurt to ask, it still matters anyway.
"That's not any of your business," the Japanese says angrily. "Are you done?"
Lavi sighs and drops the hand, which Kanda gladly pulls back and uses to cross his arms. And Lavi smiles and leans forward to brush his lips over Kanda's neck, because he just loves to do that. It's a nice feeling. Kanda tilts his head ever so slightly, and snorts softly.
"Well, I think it's a lot of my business," he says and puts his hands on Kanda's belt. "I mean, I'm your friend, y'know."
"Che," Kanda mutters bitterly.
He decides to drop the topic for now. He would have more success if Kanda was relaxed anyway, so he might as well get to it. Kanda watches him as he unbuckles the belt, feels the intense gaze on him as he leans down. He's going to try something new. Meaning, he had never given Kanda a blowjob, so he was going to try it out... And that wasn't the only thing that he was going to try out either. No, today was the day Kanda was going to repay him for all the times he had done this. He had it all figured out...
He smirks to himself. It was about time that he got something too, and oh yes, it was going to be worth it. Or so he hopes anyway. Maybe he shouldn't expect too much, maybe he'll even screw up.
No, he's not going to screw up. He's going to succeed with this.
He throws Kanda's pants and boxers away and grabs his not-yet-awakened erection. Doesn't wait, doesn't tease like he sometimes does, just starts pumping. Kanda makes a supressed appriciating sound and clenches the sheets. Lavi moves his fingers with skills that he has developed these past months by doing this. It has become such a natural thing. Maybe he should be worried about that, but he can't, he can only appriciate it. Because thanks to that he can get some really incredible reactions from Kanda. Delicious reactions that feel like he can almost taste them on his tongue.
And sure enough. Kanda soon lets out a rather loud moan, curls his toes and fumbles around for a bit with one of his hands until he finally decides to clench Lavi's hair with it. That's when Lavi dips his head lower and licks up his full length. Kanda nearly yelps, but suppresses that as he suppresses every other sound, and shivers violently. He presses his head back against the wall he's leaning against and hisses, his back arching slightly. Lavi purrs contentedly and takes his cock into his mouth without a single warning. And this time he whines (wait, WHAT?) and puts both hands on Lavi's head, and pushes. Lavi nearly chokes.
He lifts his head as soon as Kanda's grip loosens and takes a few deep breaths. "Careful, Yu," he breathes out and shakes his head. "Gonna choke me or somethin'?"
"Shut it and get back to work, Rabbit!" Kanda snaps, breathlessly, and pushes threateningly at his head. "Or I'll do it again."
"Yessir." He smiles up at the swordsman, who can't see it anyway because his eyes are closed, and closes his lips around the erection again. Kanda growls and obviously tries to force himself to stop squirming like that. But, no, it doesn't work, and Lavi's very contented.
He slowly begins to move his head up and down, testing, seeing how far he's comfortable going, and swirls his tongue. A few times he accidentily brushes his teeth against the skin, but Kanda doesn't seem to mind at all. Rather, he seems to like it, by the way he groans and tugs at Lavi's hair. So Lavi does it more often. Kanda breathes out a "fuck", mutters something in Japanese that sounds like "feels so good", and Lavi smiles widely - as much as he can smile with a cock in his mouth.
And it doesn't take much longer for Kanda to fall over the edge and release, just a rub of a tongue over the tip of the erection and then lowering a head as far down as possible, and so the release is deep in Lavi's throat. And Lavi seriously chokes this time and he rapidly pulls back, coughes and tries not to spit it out all over the place while at it. Which surely isn't easy; some ends up coming out anyway.
Kanda snorts tiredly. "That's disgusting," he mutters smugly. "Idiot."
Oh, Kanda won't be smug for much longer. Lavi pouts once he manages to stop coughing. "So mean, Yu," he sniffs.
Kanda rolls his eyes and moves so that he'll be able to lie down, and that's what Lavi was waiting for. Kanda definitely isn't expecting that Lavi's not done, so he doesn't see it coming. Lavi grabs him before he has a chance to get on his back, and the next moment his torso is pressed against the mattress. Lavi presses their bodies together, close.
"W-what?!" Kanda exclaims. "Lavi, what are you doing?!" His surprised expression changes in a second and he glares up at Lavi. "Get the fuck off me!"
"Relax, Yu~" Lavi sings happily. "You need to repay me for everythin' I've done for ya, y'know. I was thinkin' ya could do that now."
"You-- What-- How--" the samurai stutters (oh, how Lavi loves when he stutters, yes~), and tries to gather himself together. "How?"
"How? Ohhh, you'll see," Lavi says smoothly and smirks. "But you didn't honestly think you wouldn't have ta return the favour, didcha?"
"No." Kanda scowls, then looks at Lavi as if he's crazy when he sticks his fingers into his mouth. "What the hell are you doing?"
He snickers and raises himself up enough to move his hand in between them. "I said, you'll see."
"Lavi, if you--" Kanda's eyes widen as Lavi's finger pushes inside his entrance, but as he tenses up it gets impossible to move it any further.
Lavi sighs. "Yu," he says tiredly. "If ya dun relax this won't work."
"You-- I-- What--" Kanda shakes his head and twitches. "What makes you think you can just-- !!!" He inhales a shuddering breath as Lavi bites down on some spot on his neck that makes him go almost limp. "You bastard..."
Lavi snickers and pushes the finger further in. "Say, you dun' happen to have some oil or something? It'd work as much better lube than spit," he says thoughtfully.
Kanda blushes and furiously splutters out; "Why the fuck would I have some freaking oil?!"
"Don'tcha use something like that to clean Mugen?"
Lavi feels a bit afraid of the murderous aura that starts pouring out of every cell in Kanda's body. Stupid loose tongue. Stupid. Better stop this, has to stop this. Say something... stupid or something.
"Why would agree I to use that for something like THIS?! Are you STUPID, moron?" Kanda asks loudly and tries to get away.
"Y'know, 'stupid' and 'moron' is like the same thing," Lavi states and keeps him down. "Returning the favor, Yu. It's your choice. Either that oil, or my spit. It's gonna hurt less if we use oil."
"I. Don't. Care." he growls and flinches as another finger is pushed inside, clenching his eyes shut for a moment. "Motherfucker."
The last word is spoken so casually that Lavi can't stop himself from sweatdropping. "That's not nice, Yu," he drawls and doesn't wait to push in a third finger.
Kanda growls and silences because he has to bite down into the pillow to keep quiet. Lavi's breathing is beginning to intensify, despite how he tries to keep it calm. His fingers are so hot in there, so just the thought of how it will feel to push his erection in there is... maddening. Kanda shifts beneath him and frowns, deeply, obviously not very pleased at all. Maybe it's not very pleasant. But it can't be all that bad either, because then Lavi would probably be lying on the floor bleeding and twitching by now. Well, there is supposed to be one spot...
He sticks his tongue out and frowns lightly as he curls his fingers a little, brushes it against every spot he can reach, searching. Kanda hisses at it, his frown darkening. That is, until Lavi feels a small lump that must have been it because he can't suppress the sudden surprised moan, and the next moment he pushes against Lavi's hand, burying his face in the pillow, panting.
Lavi decides that it's enough. He removes his fingers and spits in his hand while pulling down his pants just enough to get out his own length. Kanda shifts again, seems to be contemplating something, maybe if he should try to kick Lavi's ass now that he's distracted or just screw it and accept this. Eventually he stills and raises his head slightly, eyeing Lavi with slightly glazed over eyes but still looking totally threatening.
"If I don't like this, it's never happening again," he says seriously, meaning that if Lavi doesn't follow that he can count himself as a dead man (not that he would end up as one anyway. Or... maybe... Kanda has never threatened him like that in such a situation as this).
"Got it, Boss," Lavi grins and finishes spreading the spit on his erection. Kanda braces himself, clenches the pillow, bites on it, and Lavi grabs his hips and pushes inside.
Oh... FUCK. That... is... Lavi leans on Kanda and grits his teeth, breathes quickly through them. It feels as if the world has stopped, because he can only hear his own breathing, only feel the heat around his cock, only that, but he does feel Kanda's muscles tensing and his automatic attempts that only lasts a second or two to get away, so maybe the world hasn't stopped anyway. The way he has to push so hard to keep entering, and the way he can now hear Kanda hissing out curse after curse, it's... amusing in a weird way. He knows it hurts Kanda, but he can't hear a single complaint. Kanda's not going to sink so low. He has to take it like a man after all.
Lavi moves - pulls back, pushes in, pulls back, pushes in - and oh God it feels so amazing. It's so tight and so hot and so... something that he can't describe. He notices that they're both covered in sweat, from Kanda's damp hair and wet temple, and from how his own lips taste salt. Kanda's frowning, like he pretty much always is, but definitely not from annoyance, probably just from principle. He has stopped biting the pillow, but he's keeping both his eyes and lips tightly shut, just breathes very deeply through his nose. Lavi grins and tries to change the angle that he's thrusting into the samurai with, but it takes a while before he hits the spot and by then he has already built up quite the pace.
And it's probably because of that force that Kanda's eyes flies open and a sharp gasp escapes from between his lips. And at the next thrust a moan. Lavi knows he can safely say that Kanda's enjoying this by now, and that he definitely has nothing to worry about. So, he loses himself, in this... gorgeous, addicting, heat... Starts to moan and groan and gasp, just like Kanda, as they move against each other.
He doesn't realize what the way his heart starts racing might mean.
It's over before it feels as if it has properly started. They collapse in a messy, sweaty, panting heap, just breathing, not touching, not moving. Lavi only pulls out, that's it.
"Thank you," he whispers slurredly after a long while, and after Kanda grunts as a reply he gets up and leaves.
On wobbly legs.
With a still racing heart.
. . .
"The Panda always says that I need to watch my curiosity," Lavi mutters. Kanda sends a blank look his way. "He says it can kill me. 'Curiosity kills', you know? Well... It's my curiosity that's gotten me where I am right now. It's how I became a Bookman in training, how I know more than most people, just like I want. How I ended up here. How I met you."
Kanda scowls. "Don't talk about me as if I'm someone important," he says bitterly.
"But that's what you are."
Kanda ignores it. "You were fated to be an Exorcist, you were fated to become Bookman's apprentice, everything in your life is already decided. It has nothing to do with your curiosity. It just is like that. Don't think so much about it."
"If our fate is already decided, then how come you fight it?" Lavi tilts his head.
Kanda rolls his eyes. "I do whatever I want, that's not fighting it. I don't. I used to, it has never worked. Might as well give up."
Lavi frowns. "You're not making any sense."
Kanda glares. "You're the one who makes it more complicated than it is."
. . .
Kanda digs his nails into Lavi's back, wanting to hurt him no matter how fucking good this thing feels. Doesn't matter if Lavi doesn't care, he'll care later because that's when it will start hurting. Hurting badly. And he can blame himself for choosing this position-- Shit! Too damn good, too damn slow... Has to fucking... Goddamnit, Lavi's just too fucking good at it. Kanda throws his head back, moans, holds Rabbit close.
"Harder," he breathes out hoarsely.
He hates Lavi for making him like this, hates himself for even allowing it to get this far, but it's a relief to be able to forget everything, everything about his fucking miserable life. It's weird to think that way, weird to think that he can actually let things go, relax, just be. Lavi has managed to get him to relax more than anyone ever has. Actually, he's practically the only one who has really tried. Lenalee's always there for him to talk to, but it's just not the same. He's not the one to talk, he's the one to do. Just like this...
Lavi complies to his wish, breathes harshly into his neck, thrusts into him, clenches his hair, slowly loses it just like him. He slurrs out things in languages that Kanda thinks he's never heard, and raises his head, their eyes meet. Before Kanda knows it their lips crash together, tongues wrestle, hearts beat beat beat.
It's not just fucking anymore.
. . .
Yu's breath feels good. It's warm and calming, especially against Lavi's ear. Yu looks more contented and calm in his sleep than Lavi has ever seen him. Yu's so hard to get under the skin on, harder than anyone Lavi has ever met, but if he hasn't managed by now he doesn't know what it really is to get under someone's skin. He's close to Yu now, so close, so inside of him. Too close. They're sharing a bed, and Lavi's just enjoying holding him close, listening to his breathing, feeling his chest rise and sink, feeling his heart beat calmly. Shouldn't feel it, shouldn't even be here, but Lavi is anyway. It can't be that way.
He looks out the window, sees that the sun is about to rise. Kanda will do so soon, too.
Lavi gets out of the bed, gets dressed as quietly as he possibly can, and tip toes out of the room.
. . .
Lavi can only hope that Bookman isn't awake when he sneaks into their room. But he's not that lucky. A candle is lit, and there is the familiar scribbling. This just had to be one of the old man's all-nighters, didn't it?
"Where were you?"
The tone is calm, dangerously so. Bookman knows, because he knows every single thing revolving around his apprentice. Lavi can't hide anything from him. And there is a lot of suspicion and accusation in his question. Lavi would have prefered to be hissed or growled at, or gotten the beating of his life. It's not quite as scary.
"Not here?" he tries to joke and plasters on a grin.
The scribbling stops and Bookman stands up from his position on the floor, putting his hands into his sleeves. Lavi unconciously takes a step back, swallowing.
"Sit down," Bookman orders.
Lavi practically falls onto his ass on the floor. He stares at the wood surface as Bookman walks around him, feet barely making a sound, eyeing him.
"Take off your shirt," comes next.
Lavi takes a deep breath and slowly pulls his shirt off. He knows he has a bruise on his shoulder, and that his back is full of scratches. He knows what Bookman suspects, and knows that this will confirm it. He shifts uncomfortably under the old man's glare, refusing to raise his eye from the floor. Not until Bookman stops in front of him, when he decides to stare at the Panda's legs instead.
"What are you doing, Junior?" he asks solemnly. "It's enough that you're doing it, but staying for so long afterwards? And skipping work to do it? What are you thinking?"
"I..." Lavi chews on his lip. "It's just... I don't know."
"It's nothing but an obstacle now. It leaves you unfocused, tired and way too relaxed. It lowers your guard. That can't happen."
Lavi scowls. "Having my guard up all the time tires me out too! And it's stressing. I can't deal with that."
"You should be able to deal with that!" Bookman snaps. Lavi's somewhat relieved that he finally sounds angry. "You're supposed to be the next Bookman! Do you think I can give over my position to someone who gives in to his desires like this?! Once is fine, I've done it too--" Lavi blinks and actually looks up at him. "Yes, I've done it. Don't look so surprised. I've been young too. But that was once, nothing long term, just so that I learned that experience, but you... You're in too deep." The way Bookman looks at Lavi makes it impossible for him to look down again. "You're not starting to feel, are you?"
Lavi widens his eye slightly. "No," he answers quickly. "What makes you think that?"
"Because you keep doing it. Why?"
"Because it feels good." Lavi gets up and heads over to his bed, irritated. "I'm going to sleep." A tome lands straight on his head and he flinches, grabbing his head. "OW!"
"No you're not. You still haven't finished your work for yesterday, and I'm not done with you."
. . .
Lavi can't stop his head from falling to the side as Yu nibbles on his neck and struggles with unbuckling his belt. "Y-yu, wait, we have to--" he begins, but chokes on the next word and inhales sharply as Yu pushes a hand between his legs. "Talk."
"I hate talking," Yu growls and bites down hard enough to draw blood. Lavi hisses and tries to push the Japanese away by his shoulders, but he stops it by pinning Lavi against the wall harder. Then he adds bitterly; "What's wrong with you?"
"It's just--" Lavi moans as Yu finally manages to free his length and give it a few strokes. "Nngh... It's just that... W-we're getting too... Fuck." He arches off the wall and fumbles around in the slight daze that hits him, trying to find Yu's wrist, which he luckily does. "Wait..."
Yu growls angrily but raises his head to glare. "Fine, what the fuck is it?" he asks impatiently.
"Just... What are we doing?" Lavi asks silently and frowns, his gaze flickering to the side for a second.
Lavi sweatdrops. Always so blunt... "Then why--?" he chokes as a thumb rubs against the top of his cock. "Y-yu! I really don't--"
"You're making things complicated again," Yu cuts him off and frowns while he looks down at the hand around the hot piece of flesh, to avoid eye contact maybe, and forces Lavi's hand away with his free one.
Lavi forces himself to gather himself together. "Then why are we feeling things?" he manages to ask, softly.
Yu stops, looks up at him again, with dark eyes, shaded by his fringe. "Feeling things?" he repeats silently. "Who says we're feelings things? Are you?" He snorts.
Lavi hasn't been mistaking all this time, has he? He always thought he's not alone on this. He likes to think he can read Yu. He could swear Yu's definitely feeling something. He can't have mistaken it, just can't...
Yu suddenly kisses him. It's brief, over in just a second, bit it leaves a tingling sensation. "This..." Yu mutters and squeezes Lavi's cock, and Lavi gasps, "doesn't mean..." Yu tugs, hisses out the last word, "anything."
Lavi's head falls forward, onto the samurai's shoulder, and the samurai bites down into his neck, leaves yet another bruise.
"It only means what you make it mean," the samurai continues and strokes Lavi's erection firmly, leaving him gasping and moaning and fumbling for a good grip on the sheets. "You're a Bookman, and I'm..." Yu silences and scowls, keeps working, drives Lavi crazy, and closer and closer to the edge.
"We are nothing," he finally growls out, and Lavi comes in his hand with a suppressed cry.
. . .
"It means nothing."
Kanda snaps his eyes open and watches as Lavi sits down in front of him, crosses his legs just like Kanda's are crossed. You don't just interrupt Kanda when he's meditating, it's a rule he has. But for some reason, he doesn't so much mind it when it's Rabbit who does it.
It's a good thing to hear, while at the same time it pisses him off. Lavi has always been the one to carve their relationship even deeper, but now even he backs off. Kanda finds that he hates it a little, and he hates himself for even hating it. This is the way it should be. He keeps his expression blank.
"Che," he replies, because he doesn't know what else to say, and "che" fits every occasion.
"But we're still best friends, yeah?" the stupid Rabbit asks and holds out a hand.
Kanda stares at it. Finds the act somehow suspicious. Lavi doesn't simply shake hands when saying stupid things like these. He always has to hug or squeeze to death or choke with his arm or some equally stupid shit like that, not shake hands. Kanda scowls and takes the hand anyway, because what the fuck does it matter? The whole fucking situation is finally fucking settled.
"Whatever," he snorts, before he's pulled forward, recieves a kiss on the cheek and gets squeezed "to death".
. . .
Allen and Lenalee have to jump out of the way as a certain redheaded rabbit comes zooming down the hallway, with a certain twitching black haired samurai with the feared katana Mugen raised on his tail.